Hi! Does anyone else out there have a strong-willed-child???!!! I have known from conception (SO not kidding...she was strong-willed even in the womb) that my daughter is S.W. The labor and delivery nurses named her "little miss attitude" literally an hour after delivery. Well, six and a half years have passed and the tantrums STILL exist (only now she is bigger, stronger, and louder)! Each year I have said, "oh, this must be our rough year," and every year, not much changes. I have another child who is the polar opposite. I could go on and on about her personality....most days I have the patience to guide, discipline, curb her in the right direction etc etc.
I would love to hear from other mamas out there who have struggled w/S.W.C. and any techniques that they have that work. Long before having children I worked in a learning center and in a "crisis center home" for children...I do not think my daughter needs to be medicated, I just think God has given me a child hard-wired to be this way and would love some advice from others alike. Thanks so much!!
I havent had the joy of a strong willed child yet, Ill probably have that when I give birth to my second but I wondered if you had read the book titled "The Strong Willed Child"? It might be helpful? Just a suggestion.
I think the most important thing you can do with a strong willed child is stay consistant. She will constantly try to test the boundries and if you give in once that is all it takes more so then with other children. I also think it is important for there not to be too many rules. With strong willed children they tend to hear NO more then most. Your daughter is old enough for you to make a rule chart of 4-5 rules that she absolutely must follow or she will be punished by timeout or restriction whatever you choose. Everything else you need to let go. Sometimes strong willed children also tend to be very needy of attention. You can use this to your advantage. When she is acting up or breaking one of the rules just tell her to geo to her bdrm or a place away from the rest of the family. When she is ready to act right she may come out on her own. This works on two levels one the worse thing you can do to a child who crave your constant attention is to not give it and two she is getting to make the right decision on her own by deciding to behave and come out of her room on her own terms in her own time. Good Luck!! And remember you need to be stronger than your daughters will!!
I feel your pain. I've been struggling for years with my 4 1/2 yr old strong-willed little girl!!! She is SO sweet, and has a really great personality most of the time, but can turn on a dime when things don't go her way. And believe me, I don't let her get her way unless it's appropriate. Some things that have worked for us...for a while...are reward charts. I set them up so that she gets a sticker each day for good behavior. Once she gets 10 stickers, she gets a little prize or a special activity. They also do this in her preschool. It works well for a while because she feels like she's in control of the situation...she controls when she gets a sticker, but she seems to lose interest after a while. She becomes complacent when the "novelty" wears off, and then she just doesn't seem to care if she doesn't get a sticker...and she proceeds with making bad decisions with her behavior. I'm really trying to get this under control in the next year...before she starts kindergarten. I really don't want her to have discipline problems that could inhibit her learning and cause problems for her at school. I would love to hear others' suggestions as well. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with her! But, of course, I love her SO very much, and she is SO sweet (when she wants to be)! Any other suggestions?
Hi S.,
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Best regards,
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S.,
I completely understand! My daughter is only 3 now but she is a constant challenge! We too knew she would be a handful before she was born, and she didn't prove us wrong! We have started with the sticker charts too that works really well, but I am not sure that would still work for a 6 yr old! What I do know is that her behavior only gets worse with any negative reinforcement. Timeouts and spankings have to be combined with very calm conversations that logically link her behavior to the discipline, and she tells us what she needs to stop doing so she does not get in trouble. That way she knows it is her decision to behave herself. I wish I had more advice for you, but good luck with her, and know that there are those of us out here who completely understand what you are dealing with!!
