Stressing Myself Out About Miscarriage ANY Advice ??

Ask to see the heartbeat. Risk of m/c is way reduced if you have already seen/heard it. Best of luck!

It's very difficult not to worry even though you no there is no way you can control what happens. I lost my first son at 20 weeks and because I was so far along I felt very sure that I was going to have my baby. No way I could get that far and have something happen. So, after that I did not believe there was a time when one could say well nothing is going to happen now. All you can do is just relax and pray for the best. After that loss, I was terrified when I became pregnant again. Everytime I went to the Dr. to have an ultrasound I thought I would just pass out from the fear and anxiety. My second pregnancy turned out just fine.
I would not be too concerned about hearing a heartbeat everytime you go to the Dr. you will hear it soon enough. Just take the comfort of knowing that you are going to have a full-term healthy and happy pregnancy.

It's hard with the second kid! I think it's because all of a sudden you realize that life is so dear and so precious and you realize now what the tiny little baby will become when you look at your older child. Even though you "knew" that stuff before, it all changes when the baby truly enters your life! I don't have any useful advice really except to just sort of keep that perspective in mind. Do the things you know are best for you and best for Baby and try and roll with it as much as possible. There are things you will always be stressed over but stressing doesn't help, as you mentioned! ;) Perspective, my dear, perspective! Congrats on Baby #2!

I had that same feeling with my 2nd pregnancy. Everything was fine and I have a beautiful, healthy daughter now. I worried about everything, to the point of making myself sick. I had a horrible feeling something was going to go wrong. Everything turned out great, and the constant paranoia went away about 12 wks, but I had "bad" days the whole pregnancy

I had a miscarriage between having son #1 and adopting son #2. While pregnant with son #3, I was also worried. I'll be honest, I didn't relax about it until I was pretty much full term. And...he's fine. Sometimes we worry about things beyond our control - but DO try not to worry about worrying!

Have you had a miscarriage before? I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, and with the next I carried all the way through and now I have a healthy and happy 4 month old. Usually once you see the heartbeat the chances of miscarriage go down. You can ask your doctor to give you an early ultrasound because by week 8-9 you should be able to hear the heartbeat. Try not to stress so much, and just call your doctor to make you feel better. :)

Hi HM,

One ritual that helps some people is to take a piece of paper and make a list of their concerns and worries, or to write about them, draw them--express them in some way, and then to burn them in a meaningful way, letting those things which bind up our lives be turned to ash and released out, no longer our burdens. Perhaps this might help. Even making a list of your worries and putting them on paper can bring them into the light of the reality of the world and ground them somewhat. There's a lot of magic in writing and words, in my opinion, so it might be worth a shot.

I'm so sorry you are struggling with this, and you sound very anxious about this fear. I've sat with this fear, too. It's a very hard place to be in, and having someone to talk to at this time aside from friends, partner and family can help. The fear of losing a pregnancy and the baby is a very real fear, and the fact that there is no conclusive medical evidence for another two weeks is extremely difficult to sit with. Yet, for many people who haven't experienced this fear, it just may not seem logical or as important to them as it is to you. So, if you share this with friends or family and find that you need more support, talk to your doctor and ask for a referral to a counselor who specializes in this.

And, if this is the beginning of some pregnancy-induced anxiety (because our hormones are changing so dramatically), you might need some help throughout the pregnancy and postpartum.

I can tell you from my own experience that I had lost 3 pregnancies before I became pregnant with my son. The third pregnancy had been heavily managed by the OB--perhaps because I was 36; so heavily, though, that I decided I wanted to switch care providers because I didn't want a culture of fear around the pregnancy. Sadly, we lost that pregnancy. However, I became pregnant again quickly, and decided this time that I would seek care providers that weren't in the mindset of assuming something was wrong. I think this had a positive impact on my pregnancy with my son. I had fleeting fears of miscarriage, but I refused to entertain them. I decided that, no matter what happened, I was going to enjoy the time of growing a new life inside myself instead of worrying about it every second. Part of this had to do with the support through counseling in regard to my previous miscarriages, and part of this was a concious decision, because I knew that worrying didn't prevent anything from happening. I am grateful, now, that I made this decision and our son came to us with no complications. I suffered a little Gestational Diabetes but with my care providers, we managed it through diet and so once again, no drama.

I write all this because I think that sometimes, we have our own stresses and anxieties about our pregnancies, babies and our selves. Sometimes, too, our care providers can make a pregnancy stressful when it needn't be. And sometimes, we have anxieties that need more than just talking to a friend. I don't know which this is for you, and I do hope the best for you.

I hope someone hear shares something that speaks to you. Let us know how you are doing.

H.

I understand how scary and fearful it can be be. I would recommend that you request simply for an early ultrasound. If they ask why tell you you arent feeling well and you want an a ultrasound for reassurance. You could always switch doctors... if you feel this one isnt listening to you.
M.

I was far more anxious with my second pregnancy. I think it is because, after being through one and haveing given birth, you have so much knowledge and your feelings about becoming a mother are so strong. I don't know that I can tell you when to relax, but I can say that I feel like a less stressful pregnancy is a healthier pregancy and better for the baby - not to mention making me less tired before baby is even born. Try prenatal yoga maybe? Best wishes.

The only think that will settle your fear is hearing your sweet babies heart beat, at least that helped me. Look into borrowing or renting a doppler so you can hear the heart beat whenever you want. Congrats and I had the same feeling until I felt movement.

I hear you on so many levels!

I miscarried first, and I was a basket case the first twelve weeks of being pregnant with my daughter. Panic and fear are my two friends, especially when I'm pregnant, but my daughter was beautiful and is now ten. The miscarriage likely happened because something was wrong, because some way the baby was developing wasn't going to work, and I tried to remind myself that if the baby I held now was healthy, my body would take good care of it and all would go well. And it did.

With my second child--my son--I had nightmares all through pregnancy about my daughter drowning. Not logical, since we didn't even know anyone with a pool, but nightmares nonetheless. I still have nightmares off and on, mostly because I cannot imagine anything worse than something happening to my two fabulous kids.

I understand your fear, but try to relax, accept the fear, and know that your little one is as safe as possible inside, warm and cozy, developing slowly, as nature intended. I know of few cases where women miscarry twice in a row--most have a successful pregnancy on the next try. Acknowledge your fear as valid and reasonable, but try to find the calm within yourself so that fear doesn't dominate.

Good luck! I hope all goes beautifully for you!

Well that's too bad you have to wait until you're 10 wks along to even hear a heartbeat... a lot of doctors do it at 8 wks so if you really really can't wait make an appt with a dr. who will take you now! I know how you feel though - after having no problems or even worrying about a miscarriage with my first pregnancy I had 3 miscarriages and finally am now 25 wks pregnant with a healthy baby. I was so worried though during the first trimester expecting another loss but hoping for the best. Everyone told me it does no good to worry but you just can't help it. Try not to stress about it and good luck!

They don't want to try to find the heartbeat because according to the Physician's Assistant at my docs office it can be very difficult to hear with a doppler before 9 or 10 weeks and if she tries too early and can't get it, it scares a pregnant woman to her core. So she made the policy not to even try until week 10. With my first child I had some toilet paper spotting around week 8 and they allowed me an ultrasound that early because of it. Recently I was pregnant with my third and we were very confused about dates so I had an ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks (unfortunately I did miscarry) My SIL pretended not to know her dates to get an ultrasound at 8 weeks (and her pregnancy was just fine to reassure you). I understand your fears. For future pregnancy I will be a nervous wreck and my doc promised me lots of early ultrasounds to ease my fears. If you want the early ultrasound, tell them that you have some spotting or are confused about your dates and you will get one. Unfortunately many insurance companies limit you to two ultrasounds, so docs do tend to wait. Try to enjoy the pregnancy. Everything is going fine so far. Take it one day at a time.

My ob let me come in whenever I got really anxious so I could hear the baby's heart beat. That helped me a little bit. Good luck. I don't know how to talk yourself out of that worry.

I had a healthy and no complications with my first pregnancy. And i would be 11 weeks this week but when i found out i was pregnant at 8 weeks for some reason i had this feeling i was going to have a miscarriage. I guess because i didnt feel pregnant. No morning sickness and really all i had was sore boobs. Then after a week i started spotting so i knew i was going to have a miscarry. Went to the er after a week of still spotting and it picked up alittle. THere was a baby but a faint heart beat. Then 3 days later was my first doctor visit and ultra sound and there was a baby but no heart beat. The doctor checked my hormone levels and they had dropped so i knew i miscarried. Im still going through the miscarry and never thought it would happen to me since im young and healthy but it does happen. But for some reason i had that feeling and it was right. As long as your not having any bleeding or back pain or cramping then i would say your fine. Usually after you hear the first heart beat and after the first trimester then you are more and likely not going to miscarry. Dont worry about it. If you are having pregnancy symptoms then everything is probably just fine.

You're not alone. My first I didn't worry much even though I was well educated on the possibilities. I just trusted that the statistics were on my side and relaxed. I was always told that with your second pregnancy and baby you are much more relaxed. That was not the case for me either. I worried about everything throughout my pregnancy. I had a lot more problems too... Maybe related?

They can't hear or see a heartbeat until about 10 weeks so they aren't just putting you off. They really can't do anything.

What you can do is start seeing a therapist or mental health professional. Miscarriage sucks horribly, but there isn't anything you can do as long as you take good care of yourself.