Stress During Pregnancy

I am so sorry for your loss. How sad! I am well acquainted with grief - I was widowed at the age of 28 and had three small sons 7,5, and thirteen months. Grief, sorrow, and stress can take a toll on your body, but the good news is that your baby is well-protected. I read a case study about pregnant women who suffered losses due to 9/11. The study indicated that the babies were born healthy and had no apparent stress-related issues.
The important thing is that you do take care of yourself. Grief is exhausting even when we're not pregnant - you need to try and rest when you can. I don't know if you're the kind of person who copes by being busy, but if you are, just don't overdo! Grief is a process. Being sad will not result in your baby being sad. Allow yourself to grieve and don't let anyone try to hurry that process along for "the sake of the baby" You will be healthier in the long run.
It sounds like you are a busy woman and you are probably extremely capable of handling everyday pressures. It's the mom in us that helps us be strong when we need to be - and it's the mom in us that forgets to take care of ourselves sometimes.It would be nice if your friends and family here would prepare some meals when you get back from California. The busy-ness of funerals keeps us going. It's the after part that can be especially difficult.
I will keep you in my prayers.

I lost my mother in law during my pregnancy and it was a very stressful time. She had cancer and my husband and I never knew when the end was near. I was very close to her and talked to her everyday and she always called me her daughter. It was hard when she passed because my husband was able to "self-medicate" with alcohol and pills, yet I had no escape from reality. I remember wishing I could take a pill and make the pain go away. I tried to cope by focusing on the arrival and getting things in order.Sadly, I could not lean on my husband or even talk to him because he was so consumed with his loss. I ended up going into labor a week later, 5 weeks before my due date. This was my first child and I believe it was directly a cause of the stress. Thankfully, I had a heathly baby and a new focus to help with the pain. Without my daughter, I think I would have been in far worse trouble. It sounds like you do have a support system and I encourage you to lean on your husband and the kids to provide distraction and help. I took lots of walks with my husband before she passed and wished we could have done the same after. God closes one door and opens another. Hang in there, before you know it your baby will be here and you honestly wont have time to grieve which can be a blessing. I miss my Mom all the time but I remember all the good times and feel her still. Best of luck.

Dear E.,

When my son, a West Pt. graduate died, I had a realization that comforted me for life, as I was very terrified of death.

My realization is that there is no such thing as death, fire and brimstone nor hell. Death is a graduation to a higher level of exsistance. They are very much alive in their own demension, and we will all be together again some day.
I feel that realization in my bones. I was released from terror and was able to be at my mothers side, hold her in my arms and thank her for being a wonderful mother when she died. I now think of death at my ultimate adventure.

Please read Embrassed by the Light by Betty Eadie

Love and Light
D. P.

You may not agree at the sound of it but I promise if you try it, you'll see a difference.

Yoga for Pregnancy. You can pickup a dvd at Target (probably also avbl at other stores but that's where I found it). While pregnant with my son I had a very stressful job and, like you, was looking for a way to relieve it because I knew it wasn't good for the little one inside me. This was a wonderful outlet! And they even teach you exercises that you can do during labor to help.

I just can't say enough about Yoga for Pregnancy - I've been a believer ever since trying it.

Sorry to hear of this situation. Many blessings to you and your family.
Check with your health food store. There are some nice herbal teas (peppermint, chamomile, for example) that may aide in reducing the stress. Remember to breathe....this helps you focus on your intention, which is to make it through this ordeal. Also, get lots of rest.
Have you called your OB?

Hi E.,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mother, too, just about a year ago - it'll be a year on Monday - and it has absolutely, hands-down been the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with. My daughter was 17 months at the time, so while she was already here, it was a struggle for a while to just have any patience with her when I was going through my own emotional stuff - and still am.
I would strongly encourage you to consider going to a counselor to address your grief and your stress level. Ideally, it would be great if you could find someone who has a mind-body focus - to help you tune into your body and the baby within as well as dealing with the emotional stuff. I do yoga therapy work here in the Orlando area. You might also consider some prenatal yoga, which is great for both body and soul.....and also think about ways you pay tribute to her mother - maybe plant a tree, write her a poem, etc. - these things tend to be therapeutic and helpful.

Take good, loving care of yourself,
S.

Go to Doc McCullen ###-###-####) and get some good whole food vitamins - specifically B Complex - they're the best for stress and will help you relax. There is also an excellent product called CALM - it is magnesium - take it before bed - again = excellent for relaxation. Those are the best natural things you can do. Eliminate caffeine and chocolate from your diet also helps.

Get a massage, soak in a bath (but not too hot), meditate, write in a journal. Lean on friends.

Good Morning E.,
SO sorry to hear of your loss. I too lost my mother 6 months before my daughter was born. What Mom feels, baby feels, so use breathing and relaxation moments throughout the day to "center" yourself and send lots of Love & Light to your baby can make all the difference.
I teach relaxation and yoga for pregnancy so when you return maybe you can come join a class or we can get together for some techniques. Right now, through the nose take a nice breath, Inhale Light, allow your breath to fill your belly like a beautiful balloon, bring the breath up to your heart all the way to the top of your head,then gently, without forcing,exhale slowly through the mouth, all the way down. Spread the Loving Light throughout your body and know your Mother is in a Peaceful, Loving Space. If you want to talk call me at ###-###-####. Blessings and Peace, D., Prenatal Plus - Yoga. http://www.prenatalplusyoga.com

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom years ago and it still bothers me. Something I found helpful was a book called Motherless Daughters. It was sad but made me feel not so alone. Also, hospice holds grief classes that may help you heal. Yes, your baby can feel your stress; however emotions are a normal part of life and what you are going through is significant. Give yourself a break. Do something significant to honor your mom; we planted a tree in the yard of the house where I grew up and I go visit it from time to time. You can get through this; just take it a day at a time. Peace be with you.

E. may god bless you and keep you through this time in your life.trust him and he will give you his peace all you have to is ask he is faithful.he loves you more than you can imagine.just trust him.i lost my mother and i know its can be hard but with gods help you can make it.he is there thru it all if you want him to be what a wonderful father god is .love ya and keep the faith god bless C.

Hi E. M, May I say first that I'm sorry to hear of your loss..keep loved ones close to you at this time and just suggesting the use of "Lavender" you may want to see if you are ok using the Essential oil Lavender..it is calming and safe with babies and pregnant woman..see if you have any alergy reaction to the wildflower lavender..the essential oil is beneficial for a great deal of things so it is advisable to search the net for the benefits of lavender for more info. It is my favorite to use with most of my massage clients even the pregnant ladies...they just love the relaxing result...Well my Blessings to you in this time of sorrow for you and your family but also Blessings on your new expected bundle of joy...

D.

I'm so very sorry to hear of your mom's passing. We lost my father in April and my sister was 6 months pregnant at the time. It was very stressful for her as well.

Fortunately, just as difficult as things were, God blessed us with another life in our family and, believe it or not, his birth 3 weeks ago (he was quite early) has really given our family a bright light and happy thing to focus on. It's not that we are no longer hurting, but it almost helped temper our grief because we needed to find our happiness in this new life. it was something happy to think about and plan for.

Prayer and exercise (pregnancy yoga, as suggested, is great) but otherwise, just a brisk walk will help keep your blood pressure down and your stress level at a more moderate level ... don't forget your vitamins and keep drinking lots of water. It's easy to forget to take care of yourself when you're caring for other family members while trying to grieve yourself.

God's blessings and may He guide you through this difficult time. My prayers are with your family.

I am so sorry that you have lost your mom at such a difficult and yet wonderful time in your life. Stress can certainly affect you and your baby. We can't avoid stress in our lives but we can choose to react to it differently. I don't know if you are open at this time to the reality that God loves you and desperately wants to take His arms around you and hold you so tight while you cry. Do you have a local church, a Bible based, non-denomination church full of young people that are passionate for God? Often religious based churches tend to leave us feeling awkward and cold. Find a small church in your area and just be bold, go in there and ask for prayer. If you allow yourself to just breakdown and cry while people lay their hands on you and love you and pray over you and your baby, you will feel awkward and embarrased at first, but you will leave with a sense of overwhelming peace. Then just pray as often as you can, talk to God like He's your invisible friend. Ask Him for comfort and peace, tell Him how mad you are at people messing up your plans and the traffic at the airport, the insensitive cousin, etc. Having someone to talk to in your private mind will really allow you to vent and have an outlet. God doesn't always show us great miracles in the physical world, but He does have this amazing peace that he can pour over our hearts. Meditate on Him. Get alone in a quiet place a few times a day for just about 5 minutes and close your eyes and listen or sing along to a great worship song.

Hi E.! Oh, I am SOOOOO sorry to hear about your mom. I really, really am. You are so right that your baby can feel your stress. I don't have any great advice..but I can give you what I can. Do you do yoga? It is all about relaxation, and letting go of worries. I know you probably don't have time to start that now..but maybe think about it upon return. There is a dvd that I like a lot..I got it on ebay...and here is the link...http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-Yoga-For-Your-Pregnancy-DVD-by-Yo... . For now, deep breathing can really heal stress. Get comfy in a chair, and try to relax and clear your mind of everything going on. Breath in and out through your nose. Inhale to a count of 4, and inhale deeply, so you feel your belly round. Hold the breath for 4, and exhale for a count of 8. This will help remove toxic energy from your body. Do it about 20 times. Maybe even do it in a warm bath. I know that this advice sounds lame...but it is all I can think of for an immediate result. My thoughts are with you!!!!
A.

I haven't expierienced a death while pregnant, especially someone so close. But I have had expierience with the stress. My husband was deployed when my daughter and son were born. He was gone until my daughter was one month old and my son 4 months old. And I already had two boys. It was hard on me emotionally. But I continued to take care of myself and both babies came out perfectly healthy. The problem I did have was that my milk supply was low due to me being so stressed out. I did successfully breasfeed my daughter for one year, but with my son I was just too stressed and my milk production just kept getting lower. I had to switch to a bottle. I know it was due to the stress because I'd previously breastfed the other two children fine.
Just try your best to relax, continue to take care of yourself and you will be okay. Some other people recommended yoga. I did yoga and it does help to de-stress.

My mother passed away 3 weeks before my first baby (her first grandchild) was born. I was in the room when she died (from cancer) and it was extremely traumatic, I started freaking out, hyperventilating, etc (I had hoped she could hang on to see her first grandchild). A doctor gave me half an ambien which helped me calm down since everyone was really concerned about the baby. I was in fog for the next couple of months or so. I cried a lot. But I have to say, having to deal with the pregnancy and birth and a newborn baby probably helped me keep it together. I think if I had not had that to focus on I would have been completely lost. Anyways, not to ramble too much but if you talk to your doctor they might be able to tell you more about ambien. If you are looking for a drug free option then you can do as I did and focus on the baby and other things. I found that when I was unoccupied and especially when listening to music I would start thinking about it too much and get real upset. My problem was that my whole life my mother had talked about having grandchildren and didn't make it to see one. Even though she was not that old when she died she lived a full life except for that. So I try to look at the positives, she knew that she was having a grandaughter and although she didn't get to see with her eyes she is looking over her in a different and very special way.

Oh no, I'm so sorry about your mom! I recommend some prenantal yoga. The combination of stretching and exercises is good for the body, baby and soul.

Hi E.,
I am so sorry for your loss. I see there are already many suggestions from others. One extra thing that you might find helpful is Bach Rescue Remedy. It is a homeopathic flower essence--safe during pregnancy--that helps with stress. It comes in a small bottle and you can put a couple drops of it in a glass of water to sip throughout the day. You can buy it at Whole Foods or other health food stores.

Prayer! Think about the baby inside you and how wonderful and precious it is to be carrying another. Focus on what is important, ignore the others. Take deep breaths when you find an issue becoming stressful, walk away from it and think, think, think on something else. PS. My condolences on the passing of your M.. I empathize with you on that. Congrats on the new one. Remember,very rarely situations cause us stress, it's the PEOPLE involved in them that do.

I am so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced your situation, but I have a tendency to be a high stress-level person. I find that yoga and sitting quietly listening to relaxing music help to greatly reduce my overall stress. I also find that slow deep rhythmic breathing with my eyes closed helps me to relax and release any stress I am feeling. I hope this is helpful to you. The power of prayer is amazing as well!