Strapless Dresses for 14 Year Old

nope it is too grown up. Lets let the kids be kids. there is PLENTY of time for her to wear a strapless later.

My nieces all wear them for formal events....& they look beautiful! With & without a shrug/coverup/etc.

& not a single one of these young ladies dresses inappropriately.

I think this is another case of generational values creating roadblocks on the path to individual happiness. :)

Oh, & the "above the knee" is a very up-to-date style right now....

Sorry but I think "it depends" is my answer -- and I know that's not much help! My youngest is 18 so I've spent the last several years shopping for graduation dresses, semi-formal dresses, "nice" dresses, casual dresses ---you name it! What I've seen is there are strapless dresses -- and then there are strapless dresses! Rather than ruling out a particular style, you might want to tell her what you want in a dress.

For my youngest (who is also not a "little" girl!), we talk about overall appearance: she needs to be appropriately dressed for the event -- and I get the final vote on what's appropriate. Nothing too casual for a "nice" event; nothing over the top for a more laid back occasion. Length is important. Certain style tops work better for Herself than others (for instance, she looks very nice in a fitted bodice but a looser one looks dumpy and disheveled. She looks cute in a higher cut, scalloped or sweetheart strapless but a straight across isn't flattering. Obviously, if a dress is strapless it must be a higher rather than a lower cut -- no cleavage. If it's a V-neck, how much V matters to me. Too snug (like those spandex dresses that are very form fitting and just barely cover the butt) doesn't work. What I call a "headband skirt" -- something that's supposed to be a skirt but is about as wide as a headband wrapped around your bottom -- is out.

So, that's a lot that's out. What's in? Anything that looks decent (by my standards), flattering, stylish -- and affordable.

If you have the chance, try and "pre-shop" without her. Go around, take a look at what's available. If there's a store that you like that you think she might, see if there's a person there who you can enlist to help your daughter choose something OK. SOmetimes, taking the mom out of things helps!

Remember, this is the first of many events to come over the next several years. Have fun with it -- but set a precedent. Let her see that it doesn't have to be her win versus your win -- you can both compromise and BOTH win. Set ground rules: she has to try on a choice of yours for each one of hers or something.

Relax. Have fun. Keep control (of your temper, your wallet and your standards). Be flexible and positive wherever possible. Good luck!

I wouldn't let her. Some schools may not allow it either. Check the school handbook regarding dress code requirements.

I think 14 is too young for such a dress. My daughter is now 31. When she was a senior in high school she said that strapless was not appropriate for her at 18, even. YOur daughter has plenty of time to dress like an adult. There are lots of cute formal style dresses for that age from which to choose.

I would consider the boys whose hormones are just coming into play. I suggest a short strapless dress would make it difficult for them to keep their minds off sex.

I have a friend who chose a strapless wedding dress. She used a knit cover up which looked totally out of place. It spoiled the look of the dress.

Not for a school function. For a bar/bat mitzvah or formal dance, maybe.

I personally would not, but that's me.

Is this for the graduation itself or an end-of-year dance? Not that it makes a HUGE difference, but if it's for a dance I would probably at least let her try it on in the store. If it's for graduation itself- no.

If she tries it on at the store, then you can say that it looks too mature for her age (if it does) and go from there. She may have the same "grown up feeling" from an asymetrical one-shoulder dress.

You could also call the school and ask if there is a dress code for the event- there often is. When they say formal... that means a lot of different things... find out what the school meant.

She won't wear the cover-up.

No for me. Modest is hottest!

She is 14. I don't see the big deal. Many of the formal dresses are strapless. If she puts a little bolero type jacket/wrap with it, it can be cute.

This is a special time for her. let her enjoy it. It is not like she is dressing up like a stripper or something.

MODERATION. you start forbidding simple things you start getting rebellion.

COMMUNICATE a LOT about everything. My 17 yr old has worn strapless at least 4 yrs with a bolero type cover. They are in style, not hoochie mama and can be very cute. Got to ease up a bit at some point or they weill rebel.

This graduation or 8th grade dance is at the end of the year, right? I'd wait to buy anything. Most middle schools have specific rules for what girls can and can't wear to these things and It's likely that the school will put out some kind of notice about that between now and the end of the year.

With a bollero jacket or something to that effect, maybe - can you please post the link of the dress so we may better understand?

I think if she would be with you and you can make sure she keeps it on then it would be okay. Otherwise no, I would not let them wear such and adult dress to any kind of function. We have dress codes in our jr. high/middle school dances, no strapless or bare midriffs. They have their whole lives to wear stuff like that.

no I would not.
And if she's going to wear a cover up anyway then why can she wear something with at least straps or sleeves.

ESPECIALLY above the knee AND strapless. I'd likely say well what if it slips down then everyone will see your boobies , and when you sit down someone will be able to see your panties. Why not wear something you don't' have to worry about things like that and you can be comfortable and just enjoy graduation.

go for it. make her happy, it's her day after all, whats the worst that could happen? the school not approve of it once she took off the cover up, assuming that she does take it off. and after all, if you wear a coverup that matches the dress, she may not even think about taking off. a lot of the pretty formal dresses now are strapless, but that does not make them inappropriate. Get her the dress that she wants with a coverup that she chooses. Her development may even help with the dress seeming less inappropriate because she won't look as much like she is wearing a dress that isn't tailored to her body type. It's not a bad idea, it's just a dress, at a formal event with adults... she could want you to buy her strapless tops and itsy bits mini-skirts to wear to a boys house... at that point you may have a problem with it being inappropriate. As for a strapless grad dress, go for it, buy her the one she wants... oh, and if you are really worried about it being inappropriate, take a slightly older cousin? friend? with you shopping and get them to point out dresses with straps.. she may like those more if someone she looks up to picks them out for her to try on.
hope this helps

I wore one with a shrug/bolero jacket that matched the dress for my 8th grade graduation. They don't make many cute, fashionable, formal dresses these days that aren't strapless. I think it's fine as long as her chest isn't popping out of the top.

I also have a 14year old graduating 8th grade this year. If they are having a dance I think a strapless formal dress would be fine, but if it's a graduation ceremony at the school then it doesn't seem appropriate to me.

I don't think I would buy it if it were me. The fact that she's "quite developed" is concern enough, I wouldn't want to draw attention to that fact. Above the knee, maybe, as long as it's not "above the knee but barely covering the butt" length. I am sure if you both keep looking, there will be a dress that is a little more conservative yet will be fun enough that she won't feel deprived of anything.