Strange Nudity Behavior in 3 Yr Daughter

My girls are 21 and 23 and they comment on a lot of the dance moves on So You Think You Can Dance. They say things like "that's sick" "why do they have to do that" "there's to much sex on the show", ect.... If girls this age make commnets like that it should tell you it is no show for little ones to watch. You need to screen what she sees.
But honestly, you need to think about who she has been with because I don't think she got all that from a dance show. My guess would be an Uncle, cousin, neighbor or someone has had their shirt off around her and has had her take her shirt off. But for sure I would be more careful about what she watches for now on.

A friend of mine was recently talking about her son's sensory issues. Perhaps you might look into that. My son sometimes lays directly on me, which is probably a little weird. I remember a little girl I used to babysit liked to do that too. I'm a completely normal person and it seems weird to be saying all this, but that's what my son and, many years ago, this little girl, wanted and I didn't have any objection to it, since of course it didn't mean anything to me. I just think they like to be close to you.

I think you are on the right track with the child we go thru many experiences in life with children but you seem to be on track.we never know where some things come from but it is good to be alert and you are so thats good.i think kids see too much tv.garbage mostly.kids heads dont need to be filled with all the crazy stuff.monitoring is much needed for children to watch tv.i have a seven year old grandson and he comes up with some stuff that amazes me for his age.they watch and listen more than we realize.thank you for caring for your child.some parents just flick off too much stuff.C.

B..
First of all, I complteley relate to the fear you are experiencing. I have a 5 year old daughter and I am so afraid that someone, anyone might hurt her and/or touch her inappropriately. Since she was a baby we have discussed her PRIVATE parts and how she is in charge of them and that NO ONE is allowed to touch her there. We also explained and continue to explain to her that mommy's and daddy's can check to make sure she is clean and that nothing is hurting her when we need to and that the doctor can only check when we are with her. Our doctor also reitierates these same tihngs during check ups. I FREAK out (inside) every time she is a little red and every once in a while I do ask to be sure no one has touched her or hurt her. The other thing I ALWAYS do is remind her that mommy is her safe person and that she can tell me anything even if someone tells her not to. I tell her that we do not have secrets and no one should ever ask her to keep a secret... surprises are ok - but secrets are not. With ALL of that said - she LOVES to be naked. She runs around inside naked and some times it is difficult to get her to get dressed. She was born premature and part of our "bonding" experience in the hospital was called "Kangaroo bonding" where I would sit with her, she had nothing on and she would lay on my bare chest for a period of time and my husband would also do this. She does still crave that touch from time to time and we do allow that. I can also relate to the child going down my shirt... it is a bit annoying and I tell her that it isn't appropriate behavior at this age... at three - it was a little harder to explain! Just keep doing what you are doing... keep her safe and know that they do emulate EVERYTHING they see and wonder about. You sound like a wonderful, concerned parent. The hardest thing for me is realizing just how big our influence is over them and how important these first years are for everything else they will experience.

Don't worry, kids are just curious about their bodies and feel arousal sensations even as toddlers. Rather than make them feel bad about having these natural feelings, we need to just teach them that these parts are private and no one else should touch them. They can learn more about the sex ed stuff later. They are more interested in body parts and how they work. They also love the idea of pregnancy and babies.

I have one question for you....does your husband sleep without a shirt? Could it be as simple as her trying to mimic cuddling and coziness she has witnessed between you and your husband? A three yr old would naturally try to role play or express love/seek comfort in ways she has observed between other people. It is not sexual from her perspective. It's just how she thinks it is supposed to be done.

I agree with the poster below - although I understand your husband was taken aback, it sounds like he could have played it cooler. His response was perhaps overly negative and probably confusing for her. I just hope it didn't make her feel ashamed on some level for requesting close contact.

Also, don't think there is necessarily a connection with the dance show. When asked questions after the fact a 3yr old will often randomly answer or just talk about what they are thinking about at the moment.

I think you both can relax..and encourage skin on skin contact. It is good for everyone!

Take care,
K.

I'm sure it is very normal and she is in a safe place. She hasn't been left alone with anyone, so you know it isn't stemming from anything wrong. However, my son is 4 and there is no way I let him watch regular TV. I watch that show too and would never let him. Keep it to noggin and DVDs.

Hmmm. Not sure what the problem is. She is three and is looking for comfort from those who are closest to her. Her daddy should be a safe haven. What is the issue with her being close to him? I would be worried if she was doing this in school or with people who were not close members of her family, but that does not seem to be the case.

I am more worried about your husband's reaction to your daughter than your daughter's request. Why is he so uncomfortable with this? My husband regularly gives my daughters baths and takes showers with them (3 and 1 1/2). Both girls love to run around naked after bath, before getting their jammies on. They often sit on his lap stark naked and snuggle with him. Sometimes, yes, he has his shirt off. I consider this all normal and healthy. I would be alarmed if my husband started to feel uncomfortable around his own daughters. That would tip me off that he was having the problem, not my children! Once the girls get older then more boundaries will be put in. But hey, my dad often helped me with showers and bathing up until middle school. Nothing wrong with that. He was my dad!