Strange "Excitement" Biting

K.,
I understand how horrified you must feel about the behavior that your daughter is exhibiting. My son is now 4, and when he was 2 he also bit another child. It happened at daycare. First, my son, Conner, went to a time out while the daycare provider tended to the other boy's wound. Teeth marks were definitely there, but the skin was not broken. However, the boy was tramatized and screeming. For my son, that was all it took for him to understand that he had done something very bad. After a couple of minutes, he was able to come out of time-out and the daycare person discussed the event with Conner and the other child. Conner helped put an ice-pack on the boy's shoulder where Conner had bit him. Luckily, that was the last time he bit at daycare, but he did get a little too rough with me and my husband on two other occassions afterward. On each occurence, Conner had a time-out, we talked about what happened, he saw the "boo-boo" that he caused and we told him how much it hurt. He kissed it to make it all better. That was the end.

I would keep doing the quick reminders that you are already doing in the morning at drop off time. If it happens again, then make sure that she understands that she has REALLY, SERIOUSLY hurt the other person. We are not joking around; it really did hurt. She should not only say, "I'm sorry" but also do something that shows how sorry she is. She can help with ice, kiss it, or whatever.

Remember, too, Mom, that this behavior is not a reflection of your parenting skills. Don't take it personally. It is just your daughter's way of testing her own strength... and independence.
:-)

As awful as it sounds, if she does it near you or another relative, have them bite her back (not hard, but enough to hurt). That was the only way I could get my son to understand what he was doing. Cured him immediately, because he did NOT want to be bitten again.

K.,

As an occupational therapist, to me it sounds like it could be a oral motor craving issue. She could be craving input to her mouth and it is a sensory integration issue. You can talk to your pediatrician about getting a referral for a pediatric occupational therapy evaluation to see if sensory plays a part. There are way to help her get the oral inputs so that she does not bite. Hope this helps.

the only thing I did that seems (ed) to help is to stay consistant.. I constantly repeat no biting, in the morning before school I remind him 'we don't bite our friends, be nice to each other' if and when I give time out for it I say "no biting, you need time out to think about that' when he's done with time out, we talk about it, I ask him if he knows why he got time out, he tells me "I bite friends" I just reinforce at that point 'right, we don't bite, say it honey,, "no bite" he repeats it and we are on our way(it's definately easier once they talk a bit, but for now definatly assume she understands, most likely she does.) will give one warning, when I give you tried all those things but in how long or short a period of time? I wonder if they get it when we change our method too much, though I definately understand the frustration. Hope it helps a little, I know he gets it cause at random times through out the day he repeats things we've talked about, "no hit, no push, no bite, no throw toys, no touch" etc.. we definately still have our moments, but hey they're only 2, right? < good luck, hugggs>

Hi K.,

My son was never a biter, so I'm just thinking out of the box here.......

I truly believe it's a phase and this too shall pass......

But, I think that whatever discipline action you take, you stick with it and be consistent. I'm not quite sure that biting her back will work. It's just like yelling at your child for yelling - confusing to a child?

Good luck,
J.