Stopping breastfeeding...a Failure?

you need to do what's best for you. If you need to be on mood altering drugs and give the baby a bottle, that's what's best. the baby needs a sane mama more than she needs breast milk.

Hang in there the first couple of weeks is the hardest. If you think breast feeding is rough, try heating bottles at 3 and 4 and 5 in the morning. You can pump out breast milk and put in bottles if you need to go out.

There are some people that are going to jump all over you for wanting to stop breastfeeding. Don't listen to them. You do what you feel is best. You need to be healthy (mentally and physically) to take care of your little one. I personally would never think of you as a failure, and please don't think of yourself as one either. Do whats best for both of you! Hang in there!

Yeah--you're going to get a LOT of "keep trying" and "give it time" advice here. I say "HORSEPUCKEY!"
A happy mom=a happy child.
My son was exclusively bottle fed because (get ready...) I DID NOT WANT TO BREASTFEED.
You can bond with your baby just fine with formula and cuddling and eye gazing....do not listen to all the booby brigade with "breast is best" and "at least you tried"...BLAH!
YOU do what's best for YOU and YOUR BABY!
Listen to your gut. If you want to keep trying, great. If it's time to stop, then stop.
Formula is not poison. You will not have an inferior child if you formula feed.
My son is 7 and rarely sick, super smart, and more than fine in every way.
Congrats on your new baby! Enjoy every second with her. And make decisions based on what is right for you and her.

She needs her momma far more than she needs breast milk. That's it.

You are not a failure. I quit early too. The baby fought me and I had a spinal headache and was supposed to stay down. It was just a fiasco.......fyi.....that baby is now 24 years old and perfect! Your baby will do fine on formula.

NO you are not a failure. You have to do what is right for YOU and not be concerned about what others think and say. You think about that little baby and she will be 15 like mine before you know it.

I chose from day one NOT to BF and I caught all kind of he$$ from the BF'rs at the hospital and my Dr. had to stop them from harrassing me. HOWEVER, I was comfortable with my choice and I knew I was doing what was best for MY family.

My daughter has been a picture of health, rarely sick, athlete, perfect set of teeth, and just perfect in my eyes.

Don't be concerned with what everyone says, just be concerned about you and your family. Why listen to someone else...they are not paying your mortgage...you are not obligated to do anything you don't want to and IT DOES NOT make you a failure. It makes you strong because YOU are doing what you feel is right for you and your family.

Hang in there. :)

NO, you are not a failure!!! I Do what you feel, is best for you and your baby. Everyone has the right to breast feed, and every one has the right not to. Your worth as a mother and your love for your daughter, should not be defined by whether you breastfeed or not. If bottle feeding allows you to be the very best mom you can, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

P.S.
Please don't listen to people who will tell you, that you won't bond as strongly with your baby, if you don't breastfeed. It's rubbish and should never even be said to a new mom. You will bond perfectly with your child, no matter how you feed.

Nobody can tell you how you are going to feel. You might be fine, you might feel as a failure, you might regret it.. or not.

The first few weeks with a newborn are hard, no matter if you breastfeed or give a bottle. I remember the anxiety of not knowing whether or not I was able to produce enough, the 24/7 feedings on some days... I think if you stick it out, you will not regret it!

To me it sounds like to may have a case of the baby blues, which is normal at this stage. This temporary depression usually peaks one week after giving birth. If you are still feeling anxious and depressed after the first week please speak to your health care provider abouty getting assessed for post partum depression.
Please know that breastfeeding can in many cases help with the symptoms of PPD and positively influence the bonding process with your baby, that will be disturbed if you develop PPD.
If you want to give her an occasional bottle at this point, because you are so overwhelmed, just do that. Have your fiance help at night to get you some extra sleep as well. It might affect your supply, but at this point you really don't need to make an either/or decision.

I would strongly encourage you to keep at it. It's the best nutritrion for your baby, it's the best for your own body and you will be able to bond with your baby in a way that bottlefeeding simply does not provide.
Good luck!

You are not a failure, It took me two tries without succeeded before I got it. And now with my third it is working. But it has not been an easy first 8 weeks. It has been one of my biggest challenges. If you do chose to stop you are not a bad mom for it. You would be choosing what is best for your family at this point in time. No harm done by formula feeding. If you do choose to keep going know that there is an end to the hard part. I only have to nurse my 8 week old about 5 times a day now for 20-25 minutes and have been doing this for about 3 weeks. Do what is best for you, you need to be healthy and happy to take care of your daughter!!! That is the most important thing.

Congrats on your little one and enjoy this age because it goes by so quick!!

Normally I fall very strongly in the "whatever mama wants to do" camp. And ultimately that's what I think here too. That said, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can give her bottles when you're out of the house and nurse when you're home. Sure your supply will diminish, but a little is better than nothing. Also, there's no rule saying you can't breastfeed in public - in fact, there's lots of laws saying you can! Finally, I think that it's easy to blame a lot of the way you're feeling on the breastfeeding, when really, having a baby throws you for a loop. There will likely be no schedule, no easy way to get out of the house for a while.

Anyway, these two weeks have probably felt like an eternity, but its only been two weeks. I'm NOT suggesting torturing yourself AT ALL. If you want to supplement with formula DO IT. BUT try not to totally throw in the towel on breastfeeding just yet. Good luck.

Stopping does NOT equal failure.

However, from your post, it sounds like you are not entirely sure that you should/want to stop...... Even if you stop, your hormones will still be out of wack for awhile. It will not instantly fix that. And you can buy cover-ups to breastfeed your baby out in public under if you want. (I have never tried one but a friend had one that she liked.)

I suggest giving it a couple more days or even a week and see how you feel then. One of my daycare parents nursed her 4th (and last) child only. She gave it up for many of the reasons you listed and a couple weeks later regretted it. She wishes she would have just stuck it out for another few weeks to get over the "hump/rut" she felt like she was in with breastfeeding.

Either way, congrats on giving it a go!

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Some people, myself included, are going to tell you that the fist 3ish weeks of breastfeeding is super difficult. It DOES feel like the baby is constantly on your breast, it IS exhausting, you CAN'T go anywhere while you both are figuring out how to breastfeed. But then it gets easier. You learn how to feed out in public, your breasts don't hurt as much, the baby will slow down on how often they want to eat...life gets easier.
However, if you feel like you can't do it...that you are mentally and physically falling apart....then what is better for the baby? Obviously having you healthier! Perhaps calling La Leche or a breastfeeding specialist can help, if that is the road that you want to take....but if not...don't worry! Your baby will be fine.
L.

You can do both. I breastfed for 6 weeks before I went back to work -- and then I did formula. But.... I also still breastfed at night. My milk supply diminished, but I still had some, and it was still cool to bond that way. Don't stress over feeding your baby. Whatever way you do it will be fine. No need to feel guilty at all!

you dont sound like you really want to quit.....dont quit because you think it might get easier, you truly know what you want to do

The only thing to remember is that switching to a bottle will not guarantee that everything will get better or easier. A lot of people think that it is a cure-all, that baby will sleep longer and be easier to schedule, but that isn't always the case. Having a new baby is hard, no matter what. They won't fall into a routine (and I a say routine, not schedule, because schedules are for calendars, not infants) until they are much older. There are some things that might make the breastfeeding easier. Co-sleeping worked for us to allow me to get sleep at night. My hubby deployed when my son was 2 weeks old, and for pure sanity's sake, I brought him into bed with me. At that point I was rarely awake for more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time (and usually only 2-3 times a night) to get him latched on before we drifted back to sleep. That makes a huge difference compared to 30 minutes plus for either breastfeeding or getting a bottle of formula together and warmed up. Babywearing and learning to breastfeed in a sling or wrap was a huge lifesaver, and a skill that I'm glad I learned now that we're expecting #2. With my son, a trip to the grocery store was no big deal, because into the sling he would go, and if he got hungry, I could very discreetly nurse him while finishing my shopping. Most times people just thought I had a sleeping baby in there, and the only time they knew otherwise was if they asked if they could see him, and I would mention that he was eating. The last thing I would say is that your daughter is 12 days old. How many other times have you gone through a major life change and fully adjusted to it in 12 days? It takes time, and it's not always going to be easy. You feel guilty because deep down you know (and this is no offense to the mom's who did formula feed, this is based strictly on science and WHO and AAP recommendations) that formula is inferior to breastmilk, and you don't want that for your daughter. So the last piece of advice is to find a group of Moms who find breastfeeding as important as you do, and form a support network with them. Even if you just get out of the house, and vent those worries, frustrations, reservations, etc, in person, it can help. Much more so than these faceless posts on the internet!

You are so not a failure! I never got the chance to start with my second one, as he was in the NIC Unit. I won't even get into the 1st child. Needless to say, it never happened, and people made me feel like the worst mother ever! DON'T FEEL THAT WAY! Besides, now everyone else can help feed the baby too!! Anyways, a good friend suggested I read an article at http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-c... and I totally felt better (even though my kids were 2 by the time I read it!). Good luck!

I don't think you should consider yourself a failure in ANY way, but I do think you should reconsider and maybe try to keep breastfeeding. You say your daughter has gained weight and is healthy-that is so rewarding in itself. Breastfeeding is best for baby as we all know....but you do have to consider your health with the depression and all. But, know that breastfeeding your baby does not mean that you can't go out for a while at a time. If you have your daughter on a "breastfeeding on demand" schedule, she should still be going at least 2 hrs. between feedings which gives you time to get out of the house. Have you considered pumping your milk and having bottles of breastmilk available for times that you are not with your baby? And, think about this: breastfeeding is so much less expensive than formula, easier to deal with (no mixing of formula, constantly cleaning bottles and nipples, etc..). Breastfeeding is actually easier than bottle feeding! Think about giving yourself some time-your state your daughter is only 1 week and 4 days old-breastfeeding becomes easier with time and the bonding experience between you and your baby girl that breastfeeding will provide you both will be so rewarding!

That's a tough place to be - a situation I found myself in after the birth of my son nearly two years ago.

First off, you are NOT a failure. You've taken a great first step by seeking help and talking to others about your situation.

You state your newborn is a week and 4 days old. Right now your entire life has changed and you can't help but feel overwhelmed. You won't have a schedule right now. Don't worry about a schedule right now! Since she's gained weight and is healthy, you're doing good. As she grows, the schedule will come. Right now, all she's going to want to do is eat. As you continue to breast feed, your milk supply will continue to grow and she will begin to feed more.

There are other options available to you at this time.

Have you contacted a lactation specialist or your local La Leche league? You can start pumping and storing milk for those occasions when you want your husband to do a nightly feeding. You can take her with you and feed her in public! Purchase a Hooter Hider - guess what - if someone doesn't like the fact you are doing one of the most natural gifts of motherhood in public, they can look away and you can tell them to shove it.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. You have to do what's best for YOU and your child. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

BTW - I quit breastfeeding after 3 weeks. And it was, at the time, traumatic. Jamey didn't latch well, I had two bouts of mastitis and cyst. But I still felt like a failure too - because we've been told that breastmilk is best for the child, it's free, yada yada yada. What kind of mother am I, what kind of mother was I going to be if I didn't breastfeed my child?!?!? That's when my mom supplied the following - well, one like me. You weren't breastfed and you turned out just fine.

And she was right. Once we made the switch, I was able to bond with my boy. Why? Because I could look at HIM and not worry - was he latched correctly, do I have his head the right position, is he getting enough?

As for your fiance - he's not the one going through this. He will be able to feed his little girl and have a happy momma. I have a feeling you'll be surprised at what he thinks.

You are not a failure at all!

You are an intelligent woman for knowing your limits and realizing that things "aren't right" with you, and then understanding you need to take steps to keep yourself emotionally healthy. This does NOT make you weak.

Your child will be absolutely fine if you decide to switch to formula. You may even be giving her a better environment because you won't be so stressed out, exhausted, thus enabling YOU to be an even better mommy: which is what your daughter needs most in this world.

Please ignore the people who insist that you keep at it at any and all cost to your health. They don't have to live your life in your house with your stress. They just get to sit here on a parenting board and judge you from afar, making you feel guilty or like less of a mom by saying things like "breast is best" and implying that if you feed your child formula you'll be killing them. Shame on them!

I don't think that stopping breastfeeding makes you a failure. It seems like you're upset with yourself for wanting to give it up or that you're worried you're going to be judged negatively for it but I doubt that would be the case. A ton of moms feed formula and their babies are happy and healthy so don't worry about that. I understand your frustration over not having a schedule and feeling trapped at home because I felt that way too. I remember having a lot of trouble adjusting to being a 'milk machine' with my first child and it was difficult losing so much sleep to feed my baby during the many middle of the night but it did help to pump some milk to store in the fridge so my husband could feed the baby sometimes. Maybe try pumping a little so your fiance can help out and let you sleep a bit more. The first month is definitely the hardest, but will get easier if you decide to keep breastfeeding. Many stores and malls have nursing rooms and you can always use a dressing room too. I even nursed a few times in the backseat of the car with a blanket over my shoulder. If you need to run errands or get out of the house, you should do it and adjust to the situation if your baby gets hungry. If breastfeeding really doesn't feel right for you, then maybe formula would make life easier but whatever you choose should be what will help you to be a better and happier mom. Best wishes!

I totally hear you! I felt that way until I contacted and old friend of mine that have already had 3 kids. She told me : "Don't listen to anyone else on how to feed your child. If you gave it a try and it didn't work for you then give them formula. The baby will be fine! Wow that was sooo good to hear because it gave me the permission to stop and no longer feel guilty. I did give them the colustrum they all needed. That's what counts. PLus what does a guy know about breastfeeding? are their nipples sore and craked? Do their nipples get pulled as the baby clamp down and won't let go? No they have no idea! Do what you think is good for you A.. The baby will grow and excell on formula..u'll see.

DO NOT FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. Breastfeeding is really really really really really really hard. What you are feeling is VERY normal.

Your job as a mom is to figure out how to be the BEST mom you can be. A happy baby has a happy mom. It doesn't matter how they get their nutrition.

I personally had to stop breastfeeding around 4 weeks and we switched to formula (for many of the same reasons you describe). I personally feel like my daughter is just as healthy as if she had been breastfed. I also feel like our bond was BETTER after I switched to formula because I didn't feel as trapped and wasn't as exhausted and emotional.

If you and your fiance feel like breastmilk is important, do you think you could pump and switch to exclusive bottlefeeding of breastmilk? I (in my emotional state) didn't even realize that was an option and a couple years later was talking to a friend who only ever pumped and bottlefed breastmilk to babies 2-4 cuz of how she felt with breastfeeding baby #1.

In any event...... if you can get yourself confident about your decision to stop breastfeeding (as it's in the best interest of your emotional well-being, and therefore the best interest of your baby) you might feel easier about talking to your fiance.
Could you offer up some solutions: ie, "honey I am feeling really overwhelmed and exhausted and I need to (whatever.... sleep through the night/be able to go to the store for 4 hours by myself etc). My solution is to (pump and have you do the overnight feedings/hire someone to do the overnight feedings... whatever).
Then if that doesn't work you go to formula.

My daughter's father was also very pro-breastfeeding and didn't want me to stop. In the end I simply said "you have 2 choices: A bottle fed daughter with your blessing and a happy mom/wife or a bottlefed daughter without your blessing and visitation. But, just remember then you have to do more work cuz you'll have her BY YOURSELF on your weekend visitations" lol! He went in the kitchen and made a bottle!!!!!!

GOOD LUCK.

What you are describing is a first time mom with a newborn...life with a newborn flat out sucks. There's no way around it. The first six weeks are the roughest you'll experience. From not knowing which end is up, feeding at all hours for endless amounts of time to learning how to do things for her and doing things for yourself with a new baby. It's tough! But, it does get easier.

At 6 weeks life suddenly seems a lot clearer, they start getting into a regular pattern of eating/playing/sleeping. They've learned *how* to eat and can get it done a little more quickly. You get a little more sleep...2-3 hours at a stretch, whoohooo!

My point is, it sounds like you've got a lot of first time mommy anxieties going on....quitting the breastfeeding may help. If it does, great. As everyone has so vehemently pointed out, you absolutely need to take care of yourself. However, I will say BFing does get a LOT easier in the next couple weeks. And in the long run, BFing is easier than formula...no bottles, no mixing, no searching for hot water. Breastmilk is always there, ready to go.

The only real failure is NOT feeding a child. What you feed them is up to you: formula or BM, either is a perfect choice. There is no guilt as long as DD is fed. GL to you and baby!!! And a big hug, life with kids gets easier, truly!!

You are not a failure! I too struggled with bf-ing my son for weeks. I was an emotional wreck as well and I thought I had to be the perfect mom and bf. Finally I realized that I was so miserable and was put on antidepressents for PPD and quit bf. I have NEVER regretted that decision. What I do regret is those four weeks of misery where I felt I didn't bond as well with my son bc I was so depressed/anxious. You have to do what's best for your family. My son was raised on formula and is now a perfectly healthy, non obese, intelligent little 2 year old. Both my OB and the pediatrician supported my decision! Please do what you think is best and don't worry about what others think.
By the way, I am due in about a week and I plan on formula feeding this little guy on as well. I know for my mental health that I am doing the right thing. Good luck with your decision.

Hey momma don't beat yourself up for this. Sometimes especially being newly mothered we expect to do all the things we are "designed" to do but sometimes nature, environmental, etc just prevents us from doing so. Don't feel bad. I had twins and I too wanted to breastfeed my twins. This was my first pregnancy and I knew it was going to be tough but I talked to and knew of other mom's that did the breastfeeding thing with twins so I wanted to at least attempt it. It was too much in the night time feedings so I pumped throughout most of the day and I also mixed half breast and half formula as well. Then 4 weeks later I ended up in the ER and had every single test administered under the blue moon. They were just trying to make sure though it wasn't something related to the birth so I can't blame them. After spending almost the entire night at the ER the doctor finally came in and said I obviously had some type of viral thing and that he was typically a strong advocate for breast feeding but that I was wearing my body down and it's better to have a healthy mommy rather than a sickly one. I still pumped but then I was some what forced to stop breastfeeding because I literally had milk one day and the next it was just well gone. I never had any pain or binding to go through it was just gone. I wanted to breastfeed even after getting so sick but due to circumstances beyond my control I couldn't. Yes, I felt bad but for the most part everyone understood why I didn't because of the fact I had twins so I didn't hear as much slack about it from the breastfeeding nazi's.
It is purely a woman's choice to have or not have a child. I personally would never have an abortion because I feel there are enough couples out there who would love to have a child and when you abort a child that is one less child that could have been given that opportunity. Plus I believe that EVERY child has a purpose-God chose for them to be here and I surely don't want to mess with the big man. So just as that right it is your right as a woman to chose whether or not you want to breastfeed or not. No questions asked-its your decision and your choice and don't let anyone make you feel less of a woman or mother for making that choice. It's also a very personal decision as well and no one really even has a right to ask you. Would they come up and ask you something else very personal like your bathroom habits? I would hope not but for some odd reason people think it is appropriate to even speak of this subject. I understand most are just maybe trying to offer advice on the subject but when you tell them no end of discussion please and respect it. Don't get me wrong I am ALL for breastfeeding and I would have loved to been able to breastfeed for longer than just 4 measley weeks but as I said sometimes you can't control your circumstances and momma you have to take care of momma first before you can properly care for your bundle of joy. Don't feel bad and if the breastfeeding deal why not try to pump? At least then you have a little more freedom and isn't as stressful on you, but if the whole idea of it causes you stress and anxiety then don't feel bad to just say forget it.

I'm sorry this is so overwhelming... doesn't matter if you breastfeed or bottle feed, your child will have no schedule 2 months during this "getting into" part of life. Doesn't matter if you breastfeed or bottle feed, your body will shed these pregnancy-hormones until they're gone.

I suffered great depression for 8 weeks, even breastfeeding, until I started planning one "outing" each day -- even just to the mailbox or the front porch, with or without the baby. See the outside world was still there even if my world was "falling apart and rebuilding."

You CAN get through this. You CAN leave the apartment for 30 minutes, with a bottle of breastmilk or formula. You WILL be a great mom, whatever you feed your daughter. Give yourself a break -- breastfeed when you can, pump when you can, formula when you can, just don't do nothing:)

Take strength in your will and in other people's help and love. We all need someone. And your daughter needs you:) Good luck and great strength!

Stop torturing yourself! It doesn't have to be all or nothing here, you do have options. You could bottle feed her at night and breast feed during the day, or breast feed every other meal or whatever works for you and baby. Eventually she will want to breast feed less and your supply will diminish BUT...A. you will have given her more breast milk than if you just quit now cold turkey. B. You will alleviate yourself of some of the guilt you're feeling now just thinking about quitting cold turkey and C. Maybe your fiance will be happier, although I firmly believe that until men can breast feed, they should support us in our decicions no matter what. =)
I'm breast feeding and supplementing right now, I have a nearly 4 month old, we're down to one or two bf sessions a day and I'm perfectly happy with it. She's gotten all the good healthy breast milk for this long (which is longer than a lot of babies) but there's no stress. I stressed myself and my first born out for five months insisting we bf and I swore to never do it again. When they're 2 it won't even matter. Whatever you decide, make peace with the decision and move on. Best of luck!

You're not a failure. But, breastmilk is the best. Have you thought about getting a pump, and bottle feeding breastmilk? I breastfeed, but I have enough milk in the fridge/freezer in case I need to go somewhere, so someone else can feed my son. Besides, a good quality pump is a lot cheaper in the long run than formula. Good luck!

Do what's right for you and don't look back. I made the mistake of *torturing* myself over breast feeding. I had supply issues and my milk ran out after 3 months. I got advice left and right and in the end, I turned myself into a mess. This is a hard time and do what is best for you, please don't feel guilty. You have to take care of yourself to take the best care of your baby. Best wishes.

Have you thought about pumping your breastmilk then feeding it to her in a bottle? My daughter was a premie, and the hospital supplemented with formula in a bottle, which of course is easier to suck than the nipple, so we had breastfeeding issues and I eventually bought a pump and had the best of both worlds! Hope this helps!

You need to do what is best for you. With my first, I breastfed for two weeks, and was miserable. I had horrible post partum depression, and was not bonding with my daughter. My doctor put me on strong anti-depressants and told me to stop breast feeding (as the stronger meds - Xanax and Ativan - were not considered safe for the baby). I have since heard that these meds are okay to take while breastfeeding, but I do not regret my decision. I was losing my mind and it wasn't good for anyone involved, especially the baby. Bottle feeding did make it easier, because my husband could get up with the baby or we could leave the baby with my parents if we needed a break. Plus, I could then take the meds I needed to get control of my anxiety and depression.

You need to do what is best for you and your family. Breast feeding may be best, but my formula fed daughter has turned out incredible. She is now three, a very healthy weight, will eat most things I serve her (some people claim bottle fed babies become picky eaters), has never had an ear infection, and is very developmentally advanced. I breast fed my son exclusively for 6 months, then added solid foods, but continued to breastfeed until he was 12 months old at which time he self weaned. I do not feel I bonded any better with him. He is a much pickier eater and is developmentally lagging in communication. So, you never know. Breastfeeding does not come with any guarantees.

Also, I was on Lexapro while I breast fed my son, and was told it is completely safe. This is another option you could look into.

You have to do what is right for you and your baby. Moms get so much unsolicited advice/criticism from people -- don't listen to it. The truth is that only you can make this decision as to what will be best for the three of you. Don't let other people make you feel guilty for doing what is best for your family! Hang in there mama! Those first few weeks can be exhausting and overwhelming but motherhood will be the best thing that has ever happened to you. By the way, the hidden beauty of formula is that daddy gets to help. My son took formula with no problem and my husband could always help with feedings. My daughter won't touch anything but my breasts, not even expressed milk in bottles will do, and as a result he can't help at night. I'm happy she's still nursing but wow, guess I didn't realize just how incredibly helpful he was that first time around! =) So make sure to take advantage of his help!

{{HUGS}} Don't beat yourself up over all this! Yes, it is rough in the beginning but it does get better if you stick with it. Within the next few weeks, thing will calm down with her feedings and won't be so hectic or sparatic. She is growing right now and her body needs that milk to thrive so by her nursing all the time, she is preparing your body for her future needs of nourishment. And why can't you go out shopping with the baby?? If she gets hungry, feed her! I've had too kids and BF them both for 3 months and feed them out in public. Take a receiving blanket and drape it over you so no one can see. Or there are a lot of nursing blankets out now too you could buy. I've pushed a cart and shopped one handed plenty of times while holding my son in the other arm feeding him while grocery shopping! I had no choice, my hubby was a Recruiter for the military and was never home and I didn't know my neighbors cause we had just moved. Or start pumping to have some on hand for bottles if public feeding bothers you. Even if you put her on formula, there still isn't going to be a set schedule in her feedings either. Only difference is you'll have to warm a bottle in the middle of the night and make one in the middle of the store and feed her that way. What I did for night feedings (I know a LOT of people don't like this but you can take or leave anyones advice) is when my kids woke up for the first feeding at night, I laid them in my bed and nursed them on one side. I would wake up a few hrs later, roll over and put them on the other side then switch again. I still got some sleep and they got sleep and fed. Both of mine were sleeping though the night at 2 months too after that.

IMO your anxiety sounds self made. You've got yourself so worked up over all this and you don't need to be. Yes, your hormones are going bonkers too but that happens to all of us and with time will get better too.
Step back and take a deep breath and just enjoy the fact that you have a healthy new baby to make your family more whole!

S.

You aren't a failure. Your daughter is important to be sure, but your state of mind is more important; if you lose it, you can't take care of her. You should also talk to a professional because post-pardum depression is NOTHING to fool around with and that's what it sounds like might be going on. My son wouldn't latch on ... I think that has to do with my in-laws. lol

Here's a suggestion tho, instead of just switching to formula, if you can afford it, but a pump and try pumping and putting the formula in a bottle for her to drink that way. http://www.amazon.com/Medela-Pump-Style-Advanced-Breast/d... That's the best pump. Good luck!

Don't let the anti-formula people scare you. I BF for 6 months with an occasional formula bottle as my supply decreased (pumping is not easy either). You need to do what's best for you and your baby. And getting up every 2 hours is a hassle either way, but if you get the $30 cooler/heater, you can keep a bottle by the bed and then heat it while you change the diaper.
I will say, however, that the first 2 weeks of nursing are the worst. If you make it through that, then you can get through the first 2 months of no schedule (breast or bottle is the same), and then you are home free.
Also, if you are taking meds, it's best to stop BF because you don't want it to go through the milk.