Stepdaughters Own Room?

I have the same situation, only I live in my step daughters original home, so each one has their childhood bedroom. one lives with us full time, and the other visits every other weekend. My husband does not want her to have to give up her childhood room, so we have no choice but to add on. On top of it, his 92 year old grandmother lives beneath us and has another bedroom down there that we can't use!

I definately would give your 7 yo one room and your 15 mo daughter the other room (where your step-daughter is). So basically keeping the girls together. It might be a pain in the butt for your step-daughter to share with a little one, but after all she's only there a little bit. I would keep the new baby in your room for now. Then depending on boy/girl status, would determine where I'd put the baby. But given the spacing constraints, I'd probably keep the new baby in your room for awhile. I actually have my 14mo son in my room right now. My teen daughter has her own room. We're converting our basement playroom to a bedroom for my daughter (her choice) and moving her then my son will have his own room. I didn't do this conversion earlier because I didn't want my teen daughter to feel 'pushed out' for the baby. So I didn't mind having my son in my room (there's room enough). It basically is happening because my daughter asked if she could move her room - so she's happy with the decision (and personally, I am too - glad to give my son his own room). Good Luck with everything and the new baby!

i would sit down with your hubby and your step daughter... he might think she is too old but she might agree with you.. let her know that she isnt losing her privacy but that you just need the room especially while she isnt there.. maybe you could work out that when she does come over and stays there that the babies could sleep in your sons room or something...

Perhaps you could do something special for your step daughter when she comes, like a living room campout for everyone, and let the baby have the room. However, keep in mind that the relationship between your husband and his daughter is strained as it is. So, if you really have to take her bedroom away, then be certain to do something family oriented every time she visits, no matter how inconvenient. Set up a tent in the living room, make burgers, fries and maybe watch "scary" movies or something like that to make those weekends something she will treasure more than a bedroom. It make be a big pain in the butt to set up and clean up, but you also don't want to put any extra strain on the relationship between your husband and his daughter.

In my experience, 9 year old girls are usually very motherly themselves. They usually like to help out and take care of babies and anyone smaller then them. Maybe if you all talked about the change together and just included her it would make the transition easy. It's hard to balance all of that. Make sure that you can keep a good perspective on it so that you and your husband can look at it all objectively. Don't forget that the 9 year old is his little girl too and I'm sure there is some guilt mingled in there by "taking the room away" from her...even though that's not the motive...know what I mean? Hopefully it will all go okay.
Happy Holidays!

I am in the SAME situation. My son Vinny, 17, lives with his Dad, and we have a room here for him since he was GOING To move in with us and changed his mind at the last second. Well baby Gina has her own room and newborn Evelyn's in my room in a bassinet. Vinny's room is almost never used, he sleeps on the couch half the time he's here anyway! So what I am doing, is when Evelyn's too big for the bassinet, she's going in "Vinny's" room, and he's more then welcome to pull out a cot and set it up in her room for those rare overnight visits! It's not fair to your baby to not have her own room, when your stepdaughter has her own room somewhere else... what are you supposed to reserve this room for her rare visits? Not fair! Your husband should be told HEY she DOES have her own room, where she lives the rest of the time, and your baby deserves HER own room in HER own house, too! Your stepdaughter should just make do with whatever way you can accomodate her when she does come over, since it's so rare. If she lived with you full time that'd be a totally different story, and I would say yeah, figure out something else. But no point in you reserving a room that's only there for spiders to make cobwebs most of the time while you're sharing your room with little babies! That's insane!

Wow...this is a tough one. I too have two stepdaughters who come here EOWE and holidays, but our house is just too small for them to have thier own room. Maybe have your 7 year old share with the new baby and the stepdaugter and the 15month old share a room?

Hi N.
Let the room beuse for her everytime she comes, but convert it to your daughters room when she not visiting, Give the boys their own room. Hope you and you husband have you private room.
She is to big to sleep in the babys room. Everyone needs space so give it to them all and stop running yourself crazy.

hi N. my name is A. and i was kinda in the same situation we moved in to a 3 bedroom house and we just had are baby boy (he has a 11year old daughter)one of the bedrooms was bigger then the other and they expected it to go to his daughter (mind you she come over 2x a month and only has her bed and dresser in there)with all the stuff are son has it would only make since that he gets the bigger room it took me about a month and alot of charts and explaning for them to see that him gettign the room was better off.when shes there maybe you could let your daughter sleep back in your room and the would show your husband that its not gonna take her room away from her completly you just need the xtra space.let my know how it goes.~A.

is there another room that perhaps could be used. den, attic,live in basement. if not what about putting the daughter you have now in your step daughters room as she is getting to old to keep her in your room and then perhaps either putting the newborn in your room for now or possibly into your sons room. the newborn if it is to be a girl is way under the age limit to wear it would be ok to place her there legally. my daugter and son shared rooms until they became to old in which to be together. your husband has to understand that you can't keep the babies in your room forever and if there is no other room in which to make a bedroom he will have to understand because as you have stated she's not there except for one weekend a month. you could also use a play pen and put your daughter in another room on the weekends that your stepdaughter is there that way she has the room to herself when she comes. maybe even sit down and talk with her alone when shes there or with her and your husband and see how she feels about it. she may see things differently than her father and maybe willing to share her room. hope this helps.

HI N.-

I understand totally. When I married my husband we had one room for my step son( who is 8 and visited every other weekend) and another room for our baby( who was alos a boy) BUT I became pregnant right away and 11 mo later our daughter was born. I kept the 2 babies together in the same room for 2 years BUT finally realized that although it would be great for ALL the kids to have their own rooms and space it was not possible and because my step-son was here so infrequently we redid the rooms.(I was nervous because my step-son is special needs and didnt know how he would act t0wards sharing a room with his little brother but Now when my stepson visits he shares with his 3 year old brother(who LOVES it) My step-son wasn't thrilled at first but now they've found their own little bonding time.

I don't know if this will be any help to you. But I have 4 kids 2 boys and 2 girls, and I have put the boys in one room and the girls in another. I shared a room with my sisters till I moved out. It was a very special bond between us and I appreciate it now. You never know they may both enjoy sharing a room.

i think the room should be used for another child, and when the step-daughter visits she can still have her space. Have pack-away items, so when the step-daughter arrives she won't completely feel that she's not wanted. You discussed this with your husband, but did the both of you include her. She won't feel like she's being pushed away.

MOTHER OF 2 DAUGHTERS 24, AND SOON TO BE 16. BELIEVE YOU ME I HAD TO MOVE THINGS AROUND PLENTY OF TIMES. WHEN I MEET MY SPOUSE HE ALREADY HAD A READY MADE FAMILY OF THREE GIRLS BEFORE MINE. THEY GOT SO ATTACHED TO ME THAT EVER OTHER WEEKEND THEY WOULD CALL ME TO COME OVER I HAD TO BUY A NEW BED TO PUT IN MY DAUGHTER ROOM. TO SAY THIS DON'T MAKE IT HARDER THEN IT IS. A. C.

I have the same situation. Both my daughter and stepdaughter have their own rooms right now, but the thought of having more kids I've had to think about room situation. Because my stepdaughter is only over 1 or 2 nights a month, there is no reason one room should stand empty with so many people in the house.

I would first approach him by saying that she has her own room all to herself at her mothers house, and that it is only fair that your kids have the same. Not to forget that you and your husband need time for yourselve's also.

It's very possible that your husband feels guilty for not being able to spend a lot of time with is daughter, and by giving her her own roomhe is making up for it. Which is just something to keep in mind when approaching this situation that needs to be dealt with either way.

My suggestion would be that you (and me) do a little bit of homework (looking at magazines, visiting Lowe's online etc.) and come up with a creative way to partition the room. You can decorate her side to play it up a little more, to make-up for the loss of space (which will soothe this ordeal for him as much as for her).

Your children should not feel second in their own home.

My sister and I grew up going back and forth between our parents each week. We had separate rooms at each house. When my stepmother got pregnant, we had to share a room while the baby had her own. I'm not sure if my father had a hard time making that decision, but we didn't have a problem with it. Sometimes its a bigger deal for the parents than it is for the kids.

hi, N.

i think that you should talk to your husband and explain to him that your little ones need a room too. its not like your stepdaughter comes everyday. so my vote is to move those little ones in . and if your stepdaughter has a problem with the little ones at night. just have the little ones sleep in your room when she visits. let me know how it all turns out

N.

I totally agree with you. If your stepdaughter only occupies the room 10% of the year, that is a waste of perfectly usable space. If one of the rooms is big enough, you could possibly make a nursery out of one, and put bunk beds in the other for your son and stepdaughter. It's still like your son has his own room, seeing as she comes one weekend a month. Good luck.