Stay at Home or Go Back to Work???

Just to give you the other perspective, I went back to work and would not change my mind. My salary is more than the cost of daycare for me. We could have probably pulled it off financially but I did not want to be stretched so thin, we could not afford any extras. I think my kids are better off for being able to go on vacations and have some of the things they want. For example we took my 4 year old on vacation to disney world a year ago and she still talks about it. I also find my kids get a lot out of daycare. They are learning social skills and getting a head start on learning as a class. I also think me working keeps me more sane. I enjoy the adult interaction and with my kids being almost 2 and 4, they can be a real handful. We were able to afford the bigger house and moved to a town with a better school system which we could have only done if I was working. Whatever decision you make, you will make the right one for you. It is a different one for everyone.

It is a hard decision, this is what I do. i work Friday-Monday. My husband has off those days so he is home on the weekend with the kids. I have three, but it is hard,it puts a damper on some things that we can do as a family. But I was home with all of my children and I don't think, well some days I wish I was working, but I am there to get the oldest one off the bus everyday, he likes it just as much as I do.

~ A. ~

I have 2 children 25 years apart. when my son was born 25 years ago i was in the position to stay home with him. i did so until he started school. Unfortunately, now i have to work. i truley believe that if you have the option to stay home for the first years it's best for the baby (wish i could do it now for my baby girl). these are the most formative years for a child. They begin to learn and grow and the constant presence of a parent at home can only be a plus. if it were me i'd learn to tighten my spending for the quality time with my children!

Dear J.,

you can have that all!!! Work From Home - I do and I am a single Mom and I do it all day and love it!!!
This is a wonderful Team and great great Company with a lot of income opportunity for you. The best part is that you do not hhave to feel guilty about going to work. You can be home for the important things in life... your family... future... school tuitions.... new house. GET STARTED TODAY FOR ONLY $1.00 TILL THE END OF THE YEAR!!! EMAIL ME ____@____.com TO GET MORE INFOR OR HTTP://robertaj.shaliteam.com

The name of my company is Stayin Home and lovin It! I am blessed every day for this! - Let me help you? visit http://robertaj.shaliteam.com. It will make sense to you and others that you love.

Regards,
Roberta
you can always email me at ____@____.com for more info.

Me, I chose to stay home. My reasons were:

1) I had always wanted to be a SAH mom to begin with;

2) The cost of working included food, wardrobe, transportation, taxes, and day care. When we did the math on it, it would have actually cost our family money for me to keep working.

That said, I wasn't making a ton of money, only about $16,000yr at the time.

If your fiance can support you all, and it's what you want to do, you may find you need to rearrange some things, but I have to say it's worth it.

Your lives are going to change no matter what - so whatever you decide, use your instincts because they are your best bet. And if whatever you do decide doesn't work, you can always change your mind later :)

-R.

Of course, you have to make this decision, but looking back in my life I wish more than anything I had been able to stay home with my children (now 15 and 10) because they have been living with their dad for the past year(we've been divorced for about 9 yrs). I rarely get to see them since they live 1800 miles away. Be with them as much as you can, hug them and kiss them all the time and tell them how much you love them, so that they'll never forget!

Hi J., I think about this often too. I'm 34, I have a 19 month old son and another on the way in March 2007. In my fantasies, I'm a stay-at-home-mom. But you know what? Even when my son is home from day care for just one day...I get crazy! Weekends are prescious, but the work week schedule is very important to me because of the consistency. My first question wouldn't be money (altho' that would be a huge factor too) I just don't know if I'm the type of woman to stay home. I've been working since I was 17 years old. The six weeks I took off when Austin was born was JUST ENOUGH. I was very ready to go back to work. I love my son dearly, don't get me wrong,,,and we get along great and he's very agreeable.....but I don't think I have that "June Cleaver" gene. This is just my opinion, I wonder if you feel like you do have the ability to stay home, or is it just "the grass is greener".....-A.

Was I in your place a few months back or what! I am a certified teacher, and was laid off at 7.5 months pregnant. We needed extra money, but I couldn't get a teaching job being due in August. I also wanted to stay home for a while. I came into this business opportunity, lia sophia. I basically do parties at people's houses. It is a jewelry company, which is awesome, because woman LOVE jewelry.I make a 30% commission, that can increast to 40%. My highest paycheck was 669.00. It's not a bad gig. Check out my website if you want...seriously I love doing this. I stay at home, and can contribute to the bills. No daycare is needed either, because I'm home during the day and only work when my husband is home.

www.liasophia.com/amydennis

You're right about weighing the "costs" of you working, especially the day care, additional clothing/food costs with you not being home, gas to get you there, etc. You may be surprised to find that these costs exceed the income you'd bring in. Even if they don't, it'll be close. Being home with your kids, especially at this age, is a great thing.

I was in a similar position several years ago, and made the decision to stay home (never had that choice previously). I don't regret it one bit. One thing I've done in the last year to get me among adults and earn a bit of money is start my own home-based business as a Creative Memories consultant. I can do this right along side my family. You might consider something similar down the road. If you'd like to learn more about CM, feel free to email me directly (____@____.com).

I think there are big advantages to being home as your older kids are entering that stage where they question who they are, and school gets "scarier". And you'll have quality time with your baby while they're at school. As your baby gets older, you can still give him/her social interactions through play groups and library story times. And you don't have to stay home forever. If you're not happy with it after several months or years, you can always go back to work, or even go back part time.

Good luck with your decision!
D.

hi J.! well I know its a hard discision to make. I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years since my daughter was born. I love it and I could never imagine doing it any other way...but I also had to make sacrafices by staying home...I got married a little over a year ago, my husband and I decided not to have a large wedding b/c of the money so we just went to city hall with a few family and friends then went out to a restaurant also we havent been able to save much these past 2 years and there's not a lot of money for extras. But we have everything we need and I know the this time with my daughter is priceless and I feel blessed that I have had the oppurtunity to be able to do it...my daughter we'll start school next sept ..I know thats going to be hard (more for me than her...lol)and I plan to go back to school and work then....I know that different things are right for diffrent people though so do what feels right for you...good luck and congrats on ur third

Hi. When I had my first child I went back to work right away when I was able to but when I had my second child I decided to stay home with him because I wasnt able to stay home with my first child. Not having another income is hard at times expecially around this time of year. I thought about daycare but it would take pretty much my whole paycheck so I decided instead to go to college online and be home with the baby and now I am finishing my degree in four months so that when I do put him in daycare at least will will have some money left over. But I have to tell you, it gets crazy at time because sometimes I feel like I have no time to myself, but it is a reward to get to stay home also.

would you be interested in becoming a discovery toy educational consultant? the kit is 99.00 where you get 10 toys. you will make 20% commission. you try to book toy parties where the hostess get free toys .you demostrate the toys get the kids to play with them. you can work from home and bring your children with you. get people to sell the toys more people you get the more commission you make. if your interested i can send you the appliciation. i did a toy party and took my 11 month old daughter with me it was lots of fun.

www.discoverytoyslink.com/AliciaGoldstein

It's a tough decision to make, since you could really benefit from the added income at this time. I was lucky and always had the option to work or not work. I have 3 older kids (ages 17 to 20) and I did work when they were little however I drove a school bus and were there for them the minute they got out of school, so all their home time was with me. When they got a bit older I'd work part time a few evenings a week, and didn't feel much guilt over that, it was extra money for us to do things together the rest of the time. Working full time, though, nah, I wouldn't have done that. They're only little once, and then it's all over. Stuff is stuff. A big house is great, but if you have one that suits the need at least... I dunno, I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't trade off spending quantity time with my kids for "stuff". I think I'd rather live in a tent. I had so much fun with my kids, and they have such great memories. Even though we didn't always have the money to buy whatever we wanted, we managed to have fun always. Now I have 2 more little ones, and I stopped working as a hairdresser...my husband could stay home with them and I could work weekends and nights, but then, I'd miss out. If he was the one to see them take their first steps and I was at work? I'd die!!! And honsetly, looking back and missing them that young... if I could take back even the few nights and weekends I worked and spend that time with them, I'd do it. I'd do anything to spend just ONE more minute with my kids. I would live anywhere under almost any doable condition to have that time back. I have no "thing" that made me working worth missing that time. And I'd gladly throw anything I have out. I'd love to live in a bigger house then I do, though this one is fine... but I would NOT love to have my kids grow up while I'm working for money for a bigger house, ya know what I mean? Personally, I think though you'de be grateful for the added income, you may get to the stage I'm at and regret the missing time you could have spent with them while they were little. Once they're as big as my first 3 are, you just look back and say "where'd the time go?", and no bigger house or memory of a fancy wedding can make that all better on your conscience.... good luck with whatever you decide, you have to really think it out and decide what you can live with. It's not an easy choice. Save every dollar your kids get for their birthdays and such, this will help you help them for college... also, they CAN get scholarships! Encourage them to get good grades so that they can get into college. I have a daughter that I did NOT save for, she's in Sacred Heart in Fairfield, pulling strait A's and a B.... and I am not rich nor did I manage to save much for her education. Things have a way of working out if you try!

Dear J.,
I think that it would be a good idea to go back to school, hence you can provide a better income for your children in the near future. the more they grow the more money they will need and it would be wonderful if you can provide your children with everything they need. Go for it earn that "diploma" and be proud to show it to your children.
C.

congrulations on the up coming birth of your child. one thing I would like to say is; see if your company that you work for would allow you to work from home. it is hard to make these kind of decisions about what u want to do but sit down and figure out your expenses would be for everything that u have coming up. IF u look at it without your income how much faster would u not be getting the bigger house and wedding that u want. Yes, it would be nice to be home when the children come home {believe me I would love to be home when my child comes home } but without the salary u would be bringing in every week just think of the things u would be without. I am not just talking about the material things.

J.,

I was troubled with that decision as well. When my daughter was born I switched to a part time job in order to spend more time with her, while still feeling like I was contributing to the family. A couple of months ago I lost that job and thought how on earth are we going to afford to live. My husbands salary is not the greatest. But I came up with an expense plan that I stick to and all the bills are paid and there is plenty of food on the table, and I get to spend my day with my baby. Figure out what you can cut back on and consider the amount you will save on daycare and the benefit your new son will have from the time he will spend with you, plus like you said being there when your other children get home. If you don't already have it get a memebership to a place like Costco. I do a monthly shop there for cereals and even meats. I found that to save big bucks on groceries. There are ways to do it and I ma sure you can find a happy balance. Good Luck with your new baby and you decision.

I have to agree with a little of what everyone has already said. Definitely check your finances to make sure you can handle it. This is really important no matter what you decide on. It maight be a very tight budget for you...make sure you can stick to it so you don't go "under".

There are a lot of direct sales companies out there...but just watch out for hidden fees, minimum sales requirements...things like this. Lots of companies ask that you purchase a product kit up front...many will go into hundreds of dollars and may require you to carry inventory...plus your costs of making copies, purchasing stamps, gas and tax preperation. You don't want to jump at the first company you see either. Many areas are drowning in specific companies...so you may not get the sales you are hoping for. You also need to consider travel expences and distances. You can choose how far you will drive to do a party...but leads from those may take you out of your "area". Be sure you do your research on ALL companies. Look to see what their status is with the BBB and DSA. And by all means...if you decide to go with a home party plan company...go with a product you strongly believe in and have a passion for. Many of these companies you CAN earn good money with...you just have to know the in's and out's of the business. If you need help researching let me know...I've been in the direct sales business now for 15 years. I know what compaies are good and which ones to stay far away from.

Going back to school, too, is an excellent idea. There are so many online programs you can take in the comfort of your own home at your own pace.

Best of luck to you with your endeavor and your new baby to come!
M.

Hi J.,

I have been home with my daughter for 2 1/2 years. It was something that me and my husband always wanted (something I decided in my early 20's and now I'm over 35). When I had her, we cut our family income in half. You definitely make a lot of sacrafices staying home. I think that if something happened to me, I would rather say, at least I spent every moment with my daughter. Which is much better than, well at least she lived in a bigger home, we had a better car and I wore nicer clothes. If you decide to stay home, I suggest that you get involved in mommy and me groups (even if you're not a social butterfly)they are great for support and some of them have mom's night out. If you feel like working outside the home a bit you could always become a consultant for a home party line like Lia Sophia Jewelry, Tupperware, etc. They are a lot of fun, you get out (when you want, you make your own schedule), earn money, trips, free items, etc. Staying home isn't for everyone, but if moms could just stay home for the first year to 18mo. that would be great! Also, staying home makes breastfeeding so much easier! It's best for baby and mom. Good luck with your decision and Happy Holidays!