Stay at Home Mom for 10 Yrs. Now What?

My Mom's cousin went through the same thing. She volunteered at her kids elementary school to be a lunch room monitor. She liked it so much she kept on doing it long after her kids went on to middle school and high school.

i now work part time.. but when the kids were in school i got involved with the school.. like classroom mom and worked on various school projects, parties... I also took up part time babysitting for a small child once a week... It was all good. I now work part time my kids are 11 - almost 12 (in 2 weeks) and 14..... now i work 9 to 2.. so i am home with them later on.. it works really good for us.. good luck.. don't be sad...

What do you like to do? What causes do you believe in? Find a place to volunteer. We all need a "purpose" in life, and your wonderful purposes are growing up!

My youngest just left for college! But I remember well what you are going through too. Soon you will have a new rhythm and will be enjoying yourself.
Here are some thoughts......

#1-Don't make a clean house your first priority.......live a little.
#2-Schedule Coffee Chats with Friends
#3-Exercise daily
#4-Volunteer
#5-Get a dog
#6-Start working on those scrapbooks
#7-What is it you always wanted to do? Write? Paint? Bike 10 miles? Now is the time to go for it!
#8-DON'T TRY TO FILL UP YOUR DAYS SO MUCH THAT YOU TAKE ON TOO MUCH AND GET OVERWHELMED

Soon those few hours the kids are gone won't be enough time to get it all done!

Take some time to regroup and get some of those big household chores done. But then I would seek out part time work or volunteer opportunities. Something that fulfills you and contributes to the greater good. If you try to fill your hours trivially, you will just find yourself bored and lonely again in no time flat.

Just my opinion...But the suggestion to join a gym, get a hobby, etc.? But really how much time is reading or walking a dog or doing pilates gonna fill up? Anyway, doing such activities seems like a good idea during your temporary "regroup period" but I can tell ya it would chap my hide if all the hard work I was doing (quote "My husband works really hard and long hours for me to stay at home and take care of the boys and house...") were funding activities like this. Unless of course, if your husband is OK with this and then fill your hours any way you like and consider me jealous = )

OK OK...I'm done venting myself. I am at work (on my lunch break) and imagining my hubby out shopping or jogging or playing video games while I am at work really got me going. I would prefer to think that 90% of the time spent at home directly benefits the family as a whole.

Have you ever had any volunteer work that you have wanted to do but did not because you had kid at home? You can always volunteer at the school too - I know our teachers love the help. In my area we have meetup groups that are not just for those home based business people, perhaps they have them in your area too?

I was just having this same realization. Next year my 5th son will start preschool two days a week (I normally don't advocate for early preschool, but this son really wants to go and its only a couple of hours twice a week) and I will have days with no children at home for a time. Its such a weird thought to me!
I've determined to start doing the things I like to do and want to do for our home but don't have the time for with the boys home. I have lots of sewing projects, rooms that need painted, crafts that need done, etc. My husband likes a well put together house, so if I can use my time to facilitate that he'll be very blessed and that will make me happy.
Think about the things you've been wanting to do and do them. Don't dwell on the past (easier said than done) and look to what an exciting future you can have. :-)

I am!! I have been a SAHM since i was pregnant with my third. She is 8. My youngest just started school full day. It is very sad when you are home all alone. I am looking into working in the school district. They have a lunch monitor position that i like. You help the kids at lunch and then watch them at recess. I am only looking for something 10-2 ish. I still want to be there for my kids before and after school.

Hope i helped a little :)

I'm not "there" yet, but it's coming. My youngest is 4.5 and I decided to homeschool him instead of sending him to preschool like I did the older two. He's the baby and I am trying to extend my mother-role as long as possible. If I can get away with it, I'll homeschool him for kindergarten too. :)
I don't know what I'll do when to house it quiet all day. Oh yeah, I do. I'll work on their scrapbooks, take long walks, mow, keep the house clean, maybe invest in a friendship or two, or whatever strikes me. I certainly won't be idle!

K.

Hi, A.,
It's normal to feel some separation anxiety (kids aren't the only ones who feel that way). I found that once my youngest started school full time, it opened up my days to REALLY get involved and volunteer my time at their school. I'm the mom who volunteers in the library once a week, signs up for whatever committee on the HSA (like the PTA) needs help, volunteers to help out in the classrooms whenever it's needed, etc. I see my kids in their school environment several times a week and it's a great way to get to know their teachers and friends better. I couldn't do ANY of this when I had a little one at home. I also have A LOT more time to prepare good, healthy meals for my family. Nothing is rushed because I need to get home for the baby's nap or the baby's cranky so I have to cut short my shopping trip. None of that anymore!! And I also have found an activity I love to do for myself (tennis) and do that one or two times a week. Then between the cleaning of the house and the laundry and everything else SAHMs do, all of a sudden, the kids are home and it's snack and homework time. Trust me, fill your days with activity and you will miss your kids less and less, and you'll feel happy and fulfilled so you can be a good mommy when they get back. Enjoy your "freedom"!!

KICK YOUR FEET UP AND RELAX! I am a new Stay at home mom (since last year) and I love my quite time since I also have a couple home-based businesses. I have worked up until last year and I really enjoy that freedom. My kids are close to your kids age (5 & 9) and they were home with me over the summer and I could not wait for school to start back. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies & enjoyed that time we had together but I really enjoy my quite time also. It also gives me freedom to volunteer at the school every week and run errands for my grandmother. The morning drop offs and evenings make up for that because of homework, and preparing for the next day, etc. Since my husband is in law enforcement, and works side hustles and another job he can't be here alot of the time so that leave alot up to me so I really need that time to myself to regroup. Start doing some things for you because you know that as mothers we never put ourselves on the list and we start to feel guilty about it. YOU DESERVE IT so enjoy it. Hope that helps.

I agree with Patty except don't get a dog just because you are lonely. I think you should enjoy a little "me" time and relax, read a book, catch up w/ friends, watch a movie...whatever. Then decide what hobbies or causes you would like to get involved in. You can also volunteer at the school(s) your kids attend (they can always use a parent volunteer)...maybe once or twice a week and for special functions. If you would like to get involved with a part-time or work at home job now would be a good time.

Perhaps this is a chance for your DH to cut back and for you to get some part-time work, if you're both interested in that. Or, if you really enjoy kids, think about babysitting/in home daycare for 1 or 2 (depending on what you feel up to). That way, you'd be busy, and you could also help your DH get a break and have more time after his work to connect more deeply with him.

Or, try volunteering--there are tons of worthy organizations out there. If you like animals, volunteer at the animal rescue, etc. You might be able to volunteer in the nursery at the hospital, possibly, or in a preschool if kids are your thing. If you are crafty, there are programs like Operation Gratitude which is asking for donations of hand-made scarves and hat for our service-men and -women serving overseas.

Or, take a yoga or pilates or tai chi class or a crafting class at Jo Ann's or Michael's.

you are not alone in feeling like that. Mine are both in school now and I am still kind of feeling "lost". I have had the BEST years of my life staying home with them for the past 9 years. I miss them so much and get really nostalgic when I see a mom with young children in a store or wherever. I just feel so sad that this "era" is over. I actually think if I were younger I would have another.

So I have spent Sept trying to just regroup a little. I am slowly getting some things done that I ahve been meaning to for years. I am also super involved with the kids school so that keeps my busy. I am planning on joining a gym and taking yoga/pilates. I am also planning on volunteering. I just really wish that I had some friends in my situation. Most of my friends still have smaller kids or do not have the means or interest in doing some of the things I would love to do during the day.

All the time. Its hard to know that our children are growing up and we will never be at that certain 'stage' again.

I know how you feel. We have an only child and she is 15 now. My hubby is on the road a lot so it is just daughter and myself a lot.

When she started K I was lost. I volunteered at the school . The teachers always need help with copies, laminating, etc. I was there so much, and at the time there was a substitute shortage, the Principal asked me to apply for subbing. I did and I still sub at that elementary school only since 2000.

I've found that it is also important to be involved with your children and the school as they grow up. They need a parental advocate. We've been in very important discussions regarding a NOT ALLOWED schedule change for my daughter at this point in 10th grade due to a teacher who is a complete bully to her. It was almost like an act of God to make it happen but I just found out about 5 minutes ago that my efforts in going up the chain of command have succeeded.

This is also a time for you to take so precious "me" time. Don't rush into doing anything. Take your time.