Stage 3 Clinger

I was lucky and so long as mine could see me, they were content.

Do you have places to plop him? I had a place to plop in every room because I simply couldn't carry a baby around all the time. I had a little area safe for baby, set up in each room. As we made way around house, I'd plop them there (totally supervised) but I got stuff done. So I had an exersaucer in one room, a play mat with toys in another, etc.

That might help to keep him interested in something other than you so you can at least get something done.

If not, then I say go for the carrier/sling idea. My husband would have been on board with whatever I needed to stay sane and keep babies happy. My husband knew I had more knowledge of the baby's needs, etc. so deferred to me on that.

A friend of mine had a velcro baby (love that term Diane). It was hard - she thought it was something she was doing, until she had her second and he wasn't like that at all. So likely he needs comfort. I would just keep gradually keep trying to get him to do things like sit in his seat - how about putting him in a highchair and have toys on the tray? And then stick some Cheerios on it so he gets used to enjoying highchair and gets a snack in?

Same for shopping cart - maybe have a new fun toy that only comes out at grocery store that attaches to cart ..

I thought our son would NEVER leave my lap.
But around 3 1/2 yrs old he finally out grew it.
He liked sitting in the super market cart - but I made a point to always be in reach of him.
There was that one time I was food shopping, the cart was half full and I turned my back to get something off a shelf for 2 minutes tops - and he was delicately taking the eggs one by one out of their carton and placing them all over the cart.
What a fine little helper I had there!
Fortunately I manged to get them back in the carton without any breaking but I gave him something harmless to hold to keep his hands busy after that.
I preferred feeding him on my lap.
He seldom wanted to eat anything unless if came off my plate first.
If shopping is too hard to manage with him along for the ride, then do the shopping when he stays home with Dad - or have Dad do the shopping.
Around here you can order groceries online and then go pick them up without having to leave the car - that makes things really easy!

Get the carrier. It will save you and your body. (carrying babies on our hips isn't good for us.)

Shopping with a child on your back is a cinch. :)

I wore my son pretty much until I couldn't. He was at least 2.5 or so.... he just got too heavy. I loved having him close when he needed it. An Ergo or other front/backpack type will do wonders for you. Make sure, too, that when you need to do things like cooking, take him off and put him in a safe place where he can see you. (I used an umbrella stroller when he started getting really mobile because our house was too small for a pack and play in the kitchen. He was safe and I had toys for him.) You do want to encourage him to spend time off your body in a safe way, and YOU need to be sure to give your body breaks. You don't need to indulge every single time he wants to be on you. That said, I now have a ten year old who doesn't want hugs at this point in life. Enjoy this time and get the carrier. It buys you a LOT of peace and actually, more independence, since he'll be along for the ride instead of determining what you can/can't do.

(respectfully meant: 15 months old is WAY too young for preschool. Kids at this age don't play together. You are better off hiring a school aged child to be a mothers helper in the afternoons when you are home, who can come and play with your child in your home, which is a safe and familiar setting. Preschool, we usually save for ages 3 and up. I was a former caregiver for toddlers/preschoolers and a nanny-- there's no 'socialization' taking place as toddlers. They need family or trusted care providers at that age.)

ETA: so I am not giving the wrong impression, my added comment at the end was meant with no disrespect in mind. I worked at child development centers for my first few years doing childcare and frankly, I was sick a lot of the time, being exposed to every virus under the sun. "My kid is always sick!" is a common complaint when families first start daycare/school. **Having a child in group care at an early age means MORE clinging, because they are going to be sick more often--in short, compounding the poster's problem.** Logic isn't meant to be spiteful, it's meant to help new parents make informed choices because we all want what is best for our kids and there are a lot of different views regarding what to do. That is all.

No offense to your husband at all, but he's not the one whose taking care of this little guy all day. While his opinion does matter, he doesn't know what it's like. You're the one with your son day in and day out, and you need to do what works.

15 months is still very, very young, and it's totally normal for him to want his mommy. It's a security thing. He feels better when you're holding him. If you hold him when he wants to be held, you are telling hiim that he is safe, that Mommy loves him and will take care of him and that everything in his world is ok. Right now, you are his world, and that's ok.

The safer he feels with you, the safer he will feel to explore his world without you. It's ok for you to help him feel safe right now. It really will help him feel more secure as he grows. And he really will grow out of this phase. (And then become clingy again later on down the road.)

If your husband is at all concerned about spending the money, call around to some second hand stores or try craigslist. But it really is ok for your son to need you right now.

15 months is old enough to learn independent playtime. put him next to you with toys he likes and start with a few minutes at a time of not playing with nor holding him. slowly increase the time till you can complete a task like dishes or making dinner without having to hold him.

I would get a carrier that you can wear on your back. I think Ergo has some and there are probably others. I don't think he's too old to be in a carrier, and this clinging phase is just that - a phase that will pass.

If you want to try some out, I strongly encourage you to google to find a local babywearing group. I randomly came across one, and it was great! I didn't join the group long term, but I went to a meeting and they let me try out all the different types of carriers so that I could find one that worked for me and my child. They even had a lending library of carriers!

Don't give in to a carrier. He needs to learn to have some independence. It's hard, but he will adjust if you require it of him.

Don't take him shopping until he's older. I know it's hard.

Don't feed him unless he's in the high chair. Be strict about it. Ignore it if he won't eat. If he throws food or cries sitting in the high chair, say "You must be done" and take him out and put him in a play pen. Ignore him for a few minutes. Then go back, pick him up and bring him back to the high chair. Repeat as many times, dispassionately, without getting upset, as it takes during the meal. HE WILL EVENTUALLY DECIDE TO EAT IF YOU DO THIS. He will not starve. Don't give in and feed him.

You have to show him who is the boss. He will not give up controlling you.

You aren't the only one who this happens to. I watched a woman at a party follow her kid around putting spoonfuls of food in his mouth while she dropped food all over the carpet in the living room. I couldn't believe my eyes. This child had his mother trained.

As far as him wanting you to carry him around, DON'T. You are in the kitchen working, washing clothes, making beds, etc. He wants you to carry him. Cheerfully say "Mommy's working, honey. Here's some toys to play with." And keep working. Every 15 minutes or so, when he ISN'T crying, take a break and sit down in the floor with him and play with him. If he crawls up on you, that's fine. Read a book to him, play blocks with him, whatever. The point is to do it when he isn't begging so that he doesn't feel like he has to cry to get your attention. And then put him back down and get back to your work. Play music while you're working and sing to him. Keep a smile on your face and a firm resolve in your heart to train this child to not sit on your hip all the time. He is too old for this.

My youngest granddaughter is a velcro child.It's hard because you just need to get stuff done sometimes and it would go so much faster if you weren't carrying around a small child.

The shopping cart was always something I pushed. 'You need to sit here so we can shop' no if ands or buts. If you are having trouble with it maybe do your shopping when he's home with someone else.

If he won't sit in the high chair to eat then I'd let him go hungry. He'll figure out pretty quickly that he needs to sit in the chair for meals.

Remember at this point he's trying to figure out things. Its your job to teach him that he might want something to go a certain way but that's not how it works in your world.

You are teaching him this is okay. IF, the first time he wanted to be on your lap rather then the highchair you have made it clear that laps come after food he would have learned a different lesson/behavior. Now you have to try to undo the bad behavior he as learned, and that will be harder and take more time then if you had nipped it in the bud right from the start. Now you have to be consistent in insisting on the behavior you want. But realistically it will get worse before it gets better, he will fight you on it and if you cave he will learn to fight even longer.

It's a really annoying phase, isn't it? It's common, and it's awful.

I think you have to be careful about setting up bad eating/table habits. They really do have to eat in their high chair for regular meals (maybe not snacks) and you do have to get past the idea that they will starve if they don't eat at certain amount at a certain time. If it's nice weather and you can do an occasional "picnic" outside (throw an old sheet on the ground and eat there), that gets away from the eating-on-your-lap thing which is a tough habit to break. When he's hungry, he goes in the high chair. If he doesn't eat, he can come out but not to only sit in your lap all the time. Plus you never get to eat yourself if he's in your lap every second.

I think it's okay to put them in a pack-and-play or similar confinement now and then. Run the vacuum so you can't hear the crying, and put some cool toys in there (I always had a small set of toys for special moments when I needed the time or the quiet - like a waiting room, a restaurant, or an important phone call - which were far most interesting than the everyday toys. I think it's okay for kids to be frustrated or annoyed now and then, and while you don't want to annoy other shoppers all the time with a screaming child in a shopping cart, having one fussy at home for 10 minutes is not the end of the world.

And I don't totally understand why you are asking your husband for permission or money to buy a carrier - are you not permitted to purchase on your own? That's a problem. I'd also have your husband in charge of at least one meal a day and otherwise parenting his child. You should go out while your husband gives the child some dinner, puts him down for a nap on the weekends, and whatever else is involved. Do the shopping then if you have to, and let your husband see what it's like, for heaven's sake! Your husband should not be deciding that your son is "too old" for something when you are the one going nuts.

You could also consider some part time day care if you can get it - it's hard in a regular center because they usually need to fill slots, but you could hire a 14 year old for a couple of hours 2 afternoons a week, getting your child used to a babysitter but with you still in the house to supervise. It's a great way to train a babysitter too and grow to trust someone so you can leave your child for a few hours.

Look into some play groups, perhaps at the library or the Y, so your child can get used to being with other kids and other adults, venturing away from you little by little while you're still in the room.