Spring Break Trip

Maybe it's just because I watched "Taken" this weekend....but if you're not comfortable that's the end of the story. Gotta trust those instincts. You can come up with a reason why she can't go (you think spring break is something she should experience as a college kid, you want her to spend it with you, etc...) and think of something fun for you to do together.

And then you'd better have a glass of wine. B/c a 15 year old scorned can be a total pain.

I think you might be a little paranoid. If they've been friends for 4 years, why don't you know the family yet? They're fine for sleepovers so what's the difference? She's 15! Get her a cell phone if it will help you feel better but for goodness sake let her go.

I say trust your instincts on this one. If you are not comfortable with her going, then don't let her. While she is old enough to make some decisions on her own, she still needs that structure that you are giving her and it is more then ok to draw the line on this one. She will probably throw a fit and tell you that you are the meanest mom in the world but that is ok. She has plenty of life ahead of her to go on fun trips with friends. Right now, it is still ok for her to just stay home and spend some quality time with HER family.

No, you're not paranoid. I say no way!

I'm glad you decided to let her go.

It really comes down to how much you can trust your daughter. I was very responsible at 15, a young adult... and my parents let me go for a whole summer to march in a professional music organization called drum corps international. I had started working at 15 to save up for it, they matched me half what I earned to pay to go on this trip. I got to tour the united states and compete with other corps in national competitions. It was an exciting adventure with many obstacles. I faced a lot of adult situations during that summer where I made responsible decisions.

My parents trusted me, and I didn't break that trust. I even had to do my own laundry at laundry mats all summer and some nights on long trips we had to sleep on the bus. We ran every morning and drilled and practiced our music all day on a strict schedule. I loved it. If you have met this family and trust them with your daughter for sleepovers, I think 5 days would be a great time for her and she will learn independence.

Nope. You are being completely reasonable! You have to be very careful these days. You don't even have to explain yourself:)

I went with a family on vacation when I was 15 with one of my best friends and her family. My parents had met her parents, but did not know them very well and like your situation, we girls had been friends for almost four years and had spent numerous sleepovers together. I say go for it! I loved the trip and had so much fun. If your daughter is fairly responsible and respectful, let her go. She will be fine and she will be grateful to you for the opportunity. Of course you will miss her, but you will have given her a neat opportunity in life and shown her how much you trust her. There are no guarantees in life; we need to trust and allow ourselves and our children to enjoy life to the fullest.

no your not being unreasonable. If you're feeling uneasy there is a reason and you should follow that feeling.

As the mom of an only child, if we can at all afford it and it's possible logistically, we try to take a friend along on family trips for our daughter (now 14) to hang out with. She's much happier and has more fun with a friend there. So I appreciate other parents trusting us with their daughters. Generally these friends are ones that she's known a long time and we've gotten to know the parents. You certainly should talk to the parents, get the detailed itinerary, etc. You may want to send a letter authorizing medical care if you can't be reached, just in case. We generally try to take a friend we consider responsible and easy to have around.

If you feel uneasy about it you need to really look at yourself and decide: are you uneasy about this situation (not sure about parents) or is it this big step in her life where she is growing up and you want to hold on. Both could be true. Just try to make sure it's not just the latter.

God Bless,
L. (H. now)

i don't think you're being unreasonable...fifteen is awful young, unless it was a family you are really close with and know well. i am sometimes too paranoid too so maybe this won't be the most popular answer lol...but i think you have to do what you're comfortable with. i would say waiting a year, or two or three, (haha) would be preferable.

Good Morning S., Have you spoken to the parents about the trip? What their plans are etc? I used to go with my g/f on family vacations and they went with us. One at a time of course. My mom always talked to the parents and got trip info. and what would happen in an emergency.

I haven't read the other Mama's responses, but one thing you should do it give them a letter allowing treatment in case of accident or if she gets sick or something. We have one for each of our Gr kids when we take them with us on special trips. I carry them in my purse at all times when I even take them with me to go shopping. Its just a precaution and makes everyone feel better.
List her Prim. Dr. Contact Number, Any allergies, last tetanus, and contract numbers for you. Plus the parents names that have temporary care of your daughter from start _____ date to End _____date..

I think she is old enough to go, just meet the parents and get all the details worked out. It will relieve your concerns about the people who will have your daughter in your care. You can also make it a point to call her or she calls you each evening to see how the day went, or just say good night etc..

God Bless and I hope you receive some great advice from Mama's
K. Nana of 5

Opppppppppps I guess I am a tad bit late in my post. God Bless and I hope all of you have a wonderful Vacation

I say go with your gut!!! I have been convinced in the past to do things that my gut told me not to let my girls do and I usually ended up wishing I had just gone with my first instinct. I dont think you are paranoid at all..just a caring, concerned parent and I applaud you for that.
There is no reason that your daughter can't have a fabulous Spring Break with her own family...I am sure you will find some fun things to do, especially if your college spring break corresponds with the HS spring break!!
I think there is too much emphasis today on letting our children grow up SO quickly!!! I wish they would learn to just enjoy the stage they are in and not feel like they have to put it on fast forward!!!
My vote is that you stick to you guns Mom!!!

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling. Maybe you could tell your daughter she could go with them next year, after you get to know the family better.

Well my family took several of my friends with us on vacations over the years. These were my best friends and their parents knew my parents. It wasn't a big deal, and a lot of fun for me (since I was, at that time, an only child). There must be something you haven't said that makes you question your daughter going? She's not a little child, and at 15, she should have some sense of right & wrong, so if she was on the trip and knew something wasn't right, she could call you. I hope you aren't feeling threatened because the other parents are taking your child and you aren't (or financially can't). What is the "other level" you refer to?? She will always be your child, and she knows that.

I am 52, so not young and naive. I would let my daughter go on such a trip as long as I knew the other parents well, had the full itinerary and knew that they would take care of her as well as they would their own child. I would just make sure that the other parents knew your ground-rules and what your child is allowed & not allowed to do. Bottom line is, however, that you are the parent and your decision is final. Again, there must be something here you're not telling the Mamas about, and that is where your answer lies.

I say go with your instincts. You feel as if you don't know them that well then you probably don't. If you leave the care of your child, even a teenager, then you need to trust them fully and not just feel obligated to.

If they have been friends for over 4 years, then I think you are being paranoid. UNLESS, that girl has an older brother????? Then go with your gut on this one :)

Go with your Gut instinct .also depends on how far>I wouldnt let them leave the Us to go to Mexico or somewhere but If its within a 2 state radius then Maybe.. I am letting my daughter go to Nebraska from Kansas and she is 13.God is in control.But he also gives us brains.Lol.I figure if I can drive there within a few hours then. Ok The parents will probably treat her like one of their own.Do the kids seem ok?

Where are they going? At that age, I would probably let her go. But it depends on where they are going. If they are going very far, I would probably be worried too.

Have you seen the movie "Taken" yet? I would trust your gut, mommy instinct first and foremost. I wouldn't make any apologies for being overprotective in the world we live in today. Especially if you don't really "know" the family then my two cents is...NO, thanks! Instead maybe take a weekend trip if you're able with just your older kids and let your daughter know that you're just not comfortable at this time and maybe when she gets older. Help her know that you love her and trust her but cannot trust others to always look out for her best interest like her loving, caring family does. She'll probably be upset but better that than something awful happen. And, it could be that if she does go then everything would turn out fine but you'll have to decide if the benefit outweighs the risk. Good luck!

I would say that unless I was willing to give my children to the people to raise if something were to happen to me and my husband, they would not be taking a 5 day trip with them. And, how will you make that up to the other children? Are their friend's parents going to be able to take them? If she were an only child, and needed some social time, that would be different. Ultimately, your other children will expect the same when they are that age, and you may not like their best friend's parents. So, I would lean the side of caution. If you aren't too comfortable, there is probably a reason, maybe something you don't even understand right now. For me, there seems to be too many reasons to NOT let her go.

In this day and age, you have to follow your instincts. Unless you can let her go without any hesitation on your part as to her safety and well being you have to say 'NO' otherwise you would be a total wreck by the time the week ended. In the future you should socialize with the parents of your daughter's friend and learn more about them so that if something like this comes up you will be better informed of just what kind of people they are and if you can trust your child in their care.

When I was 14 my family and I took a trip across the country. We were gone for 3 weeks. We took my best friend at the time, although we did fuss at each other from time to time it is one of my fondest memories. I am so glad her parents let her go.

If you have looked into it and settled your mind on it being OK then let them have their time together.

As far as making it up to the other kids, life is not fair, we dont get everythign made up to us. If one kid gets to go some where then a family learns to be happy and celebrate for that kid. Other kids will have other good things happen to them as well.

Worrying about our kids is our job, but letting go for a while is also our job.