We just moved into a house on a cul-de-sac. There is one family that does not pay attention while backing out of their driveway and they drive way too fast on the tiny stretch of road where all the neighborhood kids play.
The woman has asked me to keep my 3 year old from playing at the end of her driveway because she almost ran over him. I complied. I am ALWAYS watching him and if he stops near their driveway I make him move and I tell him he can't play there.
I have purchased a KID ALERT plastic guy with a long orange flag to warn drivers when we are out playing.
All I ask of them is that they do not speed and that they pause at the end of their driveway to make sure there is no child.
Tonight, almost all the neighborhood kids were out playing. Parents were out supervising. The oldest son came into the cul de sac at a high speed and did not slow down as he approached the kids, who were on the grass. His speed was so fast I yelled out "SLOW DOWN!" which is soooooo not like me. I did it because I was scared & angry.
About 20 minutes later the same kid barreled out of his driveway faster than I thought possible while in reverse. My 3 year old was on his motorized tractor and headed right for his driveway. Before I saw the car I was already in pursuit of getting my son out of that area. As I was running to him is when I caught a glimpse of his car.
I stopped the driver in the middle of the road, shaken, scared, frustrated, angry, but trying to be calm I asked him to please please please slow down. He totally lashed out at me in anger! My husband came to my side and this kid became even more combative and angry & he yelled at us and took off.
For years another neighbor has been trying to get these people to slow down and they have just not complied.
Now I am angry. What are my options? Do I have any legally? Yes I plan on talking to the mother when I am no longer angry. This happened over 2 hours ago & I am still FUMING!
This family has young children too who also play on the cul de sac. Other neighbors do slow down when we are out but they just refuse. Please, any advice would help.
Thank you all for your responses. First of all I need to clarify that every child playing that day was on the grass NOT in the road, including my 3 year old on his tractor. My 3 year old was on the neighbor's lawn heading toward a hill which I thought he might accidently roll down into the street - I tried to run after him well before the speeding creep came into view.
I have learned that the speeding creep is actually the neighbor's 27 year old son who has been in trouble over and over with the law and is too irresponsible to live on his own. Apparently he is in jeopardy of loosing his license AGAIN and has since driven much slower. I still have not spoken to the family (I'm still too emotional) but my husband will be speaking to them tonight. The other neighbors on the cul-de-sac are behind us 100% as they have been trying to change their behavior for years.
I have since made some changes as well. My children are no longer allowed to ride their bikes, scooters, tractors etc in the cul-de-sac unless I am physically out there standing in front of the neighbors driveway. Also, all other play is to be kept to the yards or in the middle of the cul-de-sac which is a nice grassy area with beautiful shade trees & stepping stones.
This kid...man...creep...has seen me 2x since the incident and both times (one in his car & one on a motorcycle) engaged me in a stare down. His stare was very frightening and evil.. I do not trust this guy and well I just needed to say that.
Thank you all. I really took all responses into condsideration to help me through this.
A. :)
A., I suggest after speaking with the mother if you don't get any positive results call the police and ask them what they can do, I have heard of neighborhoods installing speed bumps to slow down the speeders. Hope everything works out
You have every right to be fuming! Since everything else you have tried has not brought civilized results, it's time to phone the police!
Personally...I would put nails on the road to flatten his tires...lol..now seriously and legally I could not do that.
I would contact the city counsel, depatment of transportation, and the local police department. Get a petition from the other neighbors stating there are unsafe drivers in that area. Ask to get a sign that says "Slow Down. Children at Play 5/10mph". We have one of those in my area and it has worked. That way after you have the sign and they still continue to drive crazy, you have a better legal standing if something happens.
Nanc
Plain and simple, do not allow your children to play in the road. Why risk it? I know its tempting because you are on a cul de sac but obviously its not safe. Keep your children in your yard (back yard preferably) and in your driveway. If kids think its ok to play in your street, what's going to stop them from thinking they can play in their friends/family members' street? My rule: no playing in the road - EVER!
Dear A.: I would call your local police dept. if they are the ones responsibile for patroling your neigborhood. I bet they would be happy to psot a patrol car near the end of your street. Maybe if some of your neighboors were issued tickets, they would slow down. I worry about our street also because people have been seen going 45 or 50 in a 30mph zone. My older girl is always complaining because I won't let her play out front.
Hi A.-
I would try to petition to get speed bumps installed on your street. It is an easy solution to a dangerous problem. If they don't want to destroy their car, they'll slow down. Try callin 311 for some info.
Hope this helps
K.
Record what times they usually drive... is it between 3 and 6... or whatever.. then call the police station as ask is a car can sit on the corner - out of sight or do drive by's.. and maybe catch them. they need to get a ticket so they will learn. It doesn't sound like talking to them will help at all. Maybe the town will put a speed bump in..? Tellthe town that speeding is happening on the cul de sac and it frightens you and the other neighbors because a child can be hurt.. they must do something. good luck
Hi A.,
I would have your husband calmly talk with the man of the house there. Based on what you said, I don't think it will help for you to talk to the mom. Sounds to me like she wouldn't listen anyway.
We had a problem with our neighbor kids parking in front of our walkway with no other place for my children to gain access to the front of our home. We struggled with that for a long time and I talked with the cranky mother many times about it. Finally, my husband went over and talked with the father. It stopped after that.
If there is no man of the house, or if your husband does speak to him and the problem continues, I would contact the police and also ask your other neighbors to do so as well. If all or most of the neighbors complain, the police will be more receptive to doing something.
Blesssings,
T. E.
www.LovinLifeWithHomeBiz.com
www.LiveWellShopSmart.com
Well I can see your point of view but maybe you need to step back and look at this from your neighbor's point of view too. They are happily living in their house on a cul-de-sac when all of a sudden someone moves in with younger children and these young children seem to play anywhere they want. She asks you to keep your child away from her driveway with you comply with however now you seem to be telling her family how to back up and drive on the street. Of course they aren't going to be happy with you because they were there first.
Keep your kids in your yard and on the sidewalk in front of your house. If you are friendly with the neighbors on either side of you then your kids can go on the sidewalk in front of their houses too. Your kids do not belong in the street ever even when supervised.
Believe me it's easier to adjust your life around things than to end up in a battle with a neighbor which will spill over into all aspects of your life. I use to have a neighbor who drove 40-50 mph on a 25 mph street and would speed up and aim her car toward the kids. Then she would slam on her breaks and claim to have almost hit the kids because of their carelessness. It's he said, she said as far as the police are concerned and they've got bigger issued to deal with. Video tape is a waste of your time. Just set the rules for your kids to keep them out of the way of these people and worry about what they are doing.
This situations is horrible! I would recommend ringning their bell and having a conversation about this. If you are not satisfied at that point, I would inform your local police about this situation and ask if they will talk to this family. Best of luck!
Hey A.,
You have every right to be angry. The beauty of living on a cul de sac is that there is not as much traffic and I would think with considerate neighbors would be extremely safe for children to live and play. I would first go to the mom when you are calm and let her know that she needs to speak with her children about slowing down. If she becomes argumentative and is non compliant then I would go to the police and file a complaint. I would first give her the opportunity to do the right thing. You could also do it in writing to avoid confrontation. This way you have something documented that you have tried to resolve this matter peacefully and have it sent certified. It is common courtesy to be cautious when you know children are at play and slow down. It's not like you are asking them to please lower the radio in the car because the noise is bothering your kids!!! This is very serious and someone could get seriously hurt. I am not sure but maybe you can ask the police who is in charge of traffic and see what the possibility of a speed limit sign would be in your area so when they do not comply they can be fined. I know personally if they are arguing with you a complaint can be filed, however it can turn into a nightmare when you are feuding with the neighbors. Good luck!!
Hi A.,
If he's speeding, then you can report that to the police. However, I wouldn't have a 3 year old playing on the road. If your son heads for this person's driveway, then he is not old enough to be able to play in the cul de sac. We live on a cul de sac road as well, and my kids were not playing in the road at that age. Even now, it makes me nervous when my 9 year old goes bike riding up there, but 3 is definitely too young, even with supervision since you cannot control when a car is coming. The neighbor asked you to keep him away from her driveway but it seems that you are still letting him play there and this is a disaster waiting to happen.
Have you called your local police station to ask what your options are? We had this same problem in our neighborhood and a bunch of us called to complain at different times. The Police didn't really have many options for us except to talk to the people speeding. We tried to speak to them but the entire family was combative. We called the police again to let them know how the family responded. Since we tried what they suggest the police started to patrol our street a little more often. Since they did do that they caught the kids racing up and down the street and gave them a ticket. They were not going over the speed limit for where we live but they were able to ticket them for endangering the welfare of children or something like that. Since then the problem has stopped. I would try to speak to the family calmly first and if that does not work try your local law enforcement agency and see what your options are. The whole family just sounds disrespectful. Good luck with your situation!
Ps the other problem we had was that they would use our drive way to turn around in. We have a bright orange cone that we put up to keep people out of our drive way when the kids are out there playing. They still pulled in our driveway and a few times ran over the cone.
I am sure that you already know that you have no control over what other people do or say. Since the problem of driving to fast and being told not to do it hasn't worked. Maybe going to the police to see if you could have a sign put up and have a police officer patrol every once and awhile. It is hard to believe one neighbor can cause so much problems but above all else
you have to put the safety of the children first. You might have to stop your child from riding anywhere near the neighbors. It is a hard thing to swallow but your child comes first.
Hi A.,
I would take video of this and complain to the police department. God for bid, one day someone will get hurt or killed. This is horrible. I am so sorry for you and the children to have to live with these people. But I would video tape it and have the judge take care of this. You will have sore nieghbors but hopefully the kids will be safe. I am sure you are not alone with this in your area. Good Luck! :)
Hi A.,
I would go pay a visit to your police chief and explain that it is an ongoing problem--if any of your neighbors will go with you, so much the better. I would ask him to go and talk to your neighbors and perhaps do some radar on your street. I would certainly site not only the continual breaking of the law and endangering kids in the neighborhood--there is a speed limit--but also the hostility you've been met with. What is going on is unacceptable. Make sure you get a police report of the visit. Call and log a complaint with the police each time, and keep a record of the dates and times of your calls--that way, if you ever need to pull the police logs of your complaints, you'll know just where to tell them to look. I would also have a video camera out with you every time your child is outside, and I would tape them every single time they go in or out while your child is at play (tape the caution sign too). Make sure there's a date and time stamp. Just keeping a record will help in so many ways. It might help you stop the problem, and, God forbid, they hurt someone, it will certainly help you do something about it.
You arent the only one with this problem. My bimbo neighbor drives her Mercedes 60 mph down our street. Thankfully, my kids are always in the back, so I havent had to worry much about it. But it still makes me angry.
My father lives on a busy street. And the cars fly by his house. I happen to drive a Ford Crown Victoria. Looks like a police car. I just park my car at the end of his driveway with the nose sticking out a bit.
Magically, the cars slow right down.
I would contact the local police department. They might just park a cruiser on your street to monitor traffic, and if you are lucky, disperse some well deserved violations!
Hi A.
I am sorry this is happening to you. It is frustrating having inconsiderate neighbors. It is even worse when they are teenagers whose parents aren't much better. I love bringing my kids out front to play too. I have teenagers come down my street which ends in a cul-de-sac as well, speed down. I don't feel there is much I could do about it, but do the best I can to protect my children. I never let my older daughter play in the street until she was over 7 and that was to ride her bike. My 2.5 yr. old plays in my driveway and up the sidewalk in front of my house. I park my car in front of my driveway to deter her from venturing into the street or drivers from pulling into my driveway. I know it is hard when there are a bunch of neighborhood kids playing and your kids want to play too, but I always allowed(so did my neighbors) the children to play in my yard. There has to be a way to work something out so your children can play safely. Good Luck!
R.
Well A.,
First, Why are your kids playing in the street in the first place? Keep them out of the street. You have a yard let them play there or in the driveway.
Second, You neighbor should be more careful, no one wants a child to get hurt.
Third, you don't want to start a block war.... do what you can to resolve this without making an enemy.
If/when you speck to the 'speedy neighbor' i would inform them you will try to keep the kids out of the street but if they would slowdown and be more careful it would make everyone happy.
Has anyone called the cops??!!! Sounds like an obvious solution, but you didn't mention it. Speeding, endangering a child(ren), reckless driving, agressive behavior, ALL reasons to call the police. And keep calling the cops, and have your neighbors call the cops, ever time they do something to endanger your child.
I had the same problem with a teenage kid in my neighborhood. We finally contacted the police it turned out this kid was well known by the local police, had many tickets my neighbors pressed charges against him & we all appeared in court, the judge asked him if he liked his company or came each week for the coffee ! He ended up having his license taken away. You should try to talk to his parents 1st in a calm matter if they have a teenager they had a 3 yr old at one time, if you dont get anywhere I would call the police. Your kids should be able to play in a cul de sac with out bone head teenagers being fools. The law IS on your side there are speed limits in residential areas for a reason.
Call the town and ask for a speed limit sign and a children playing sign. Explain why it is needed and ask what else you can do. I am sure there is something the police can do.
Do you have a Civic Association that could help? Perhaps you should be careful of approaching this family on an individual basis. Also, ask at your local police precinct or councilman the process for getting speed bumps put in.
Obviously, these people are self centered, selfish and dangerous. Call the police every time they speed with children around. EVERY TIME! They'll get the message (and the tickets). Everyone in your cul de sac should call the policy every time these people threaten your children. If the rest of you stand united, perhaps
report it to the police...keep in mind they may say ithe complaint came from you.
also, ask if they can place an unmarked car near so they can get the speed, see the situation and so forth. good luck
Why can't the children play in the back yards where it is safe from cars??
tell me about it. I'm currently dealing with some high school kids that park on our street and drive around here like it's a speedway.
I hate to say it but I really don't think there's a ton of options. You could call the police and ask if someone could patrol your neighborhood occasionally. Maybe that will give the neighbors a little scare and make them slow down.
But other than just keeping an eye on your kids when they're outside, I don't think there's much else.
Good luck!
Lynsey
I am so sorry that they are not considerate with you.
Can you go to the police and ask if they can offer ideas, suggestions?
Could you approach them and ask if they can be more careful in the driveway?
Maybe the town can add signs "Children at Play" or install a speedbump?
Try to band together with your neighbors to see if you can do anything - strength in numbers!! :)
I hope something can be worked out...
To add to the other responses, if you do speak to the adults at the home of the crazy drivers, take along some figures. To me the scariest is the number of children injured or even killed by people backing out of their driveway. It happens to even the most careful drivers, so such figures might make it less personal when you point your finger at her sons.
It's interesting to read your article, because we have someone in our neighborhood who posted signs and such, but spent several weeks sitting in her front yard and yelling at anyone going over the speed limit. It was hugely offensive. The difference there is that it is a house on what has become a significant artery road and they are at the bottom of a hill. I admit that I don't drive 25 on that road, despite her devotion to educating us all. her signs did drop my speed by about 7 mph, but she didn't make any friends. I tell you this to make sure this is a neighborhood consensus and doesn't come across as a personal crusade. From what you say, it sounds like you are both reasonable in your expectations and a good commuicator, so maybe my story isn't applicable.
There is a catalog that sells gates for the end of your driveway that you can roll & unroll -- I think it's One Step Ahead and they cost about $80.
I dont know what to say. I feel your anger!!!! I too get angry at people speeding down our little road b/c there are a lot of kids - we have no sidewalks in our neighborhood so kids are always in the streets. Can you call the police department and tell them people are constantly speeding down your road...maybe they can put a patrol car there for a bit and either give out tickets or at least make those people aware they need to slow down. I've noticed in my neighborhood a couple of time - we don't live on a culdesac though but call them - maybe they can do something. SO INFURIATING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm angry for you!
The only thing I can think of...is there a speed limit in your area? If so, you can report the behavior to the police that you are suspecting they are going well over the speed limit. Other options are to put up fences. We never let our son play in someone else's driveway or on the road...That is just not a play ground. Some people do not like to have other people on their property, because they can get sued if something happens. We used to put up a bright orange lead across our driveway about 1 1/2 car lengths from the road. We made sure our son knew never to go pass the lead. It also helps our company know our son is ouside playing, so they would stop at the top of our driveway until we could make sure the way was clear and release the lead.
There is probably nothing the police can do about this. If your children are playing in the street you will be told by the police to keep them in your yard. Children should not play in the road no matter where you live. Give your children boundaries. Let them know exactly how far they are allowed to go to the end of the yard, and how far down the sidewalk. You will have to tell your children over and over until they understand they can't go further and why. Good luck! Sorry you have to deal with crazy drivers for neighbors.
Now I'm in my 40’s and I’m a pretty safe driver. Zero points on my license and I can't even remember the last time I had speeding ticket. But somehow when I accelerate, my fairly weak engine, must sound like I'm going fast. A crazy and angry lady accused me of going 40 and 45 mph in our neighborhood. Which is completely false. My normal speed is 26-30mph on the main street and slower on the smaller streets and 24-27mph when the kids are on sidewalk and 0-15 when they are on the street depending on their location and activity. But I do gun it up to 30 on the main streets when I'm in a hurry. On occasion I go a little faster on the main streets but never above 35. Something I'm trying to re-train myself not to do. But having lived in big cities for 30 years, where most people drive very aggressively, it is actually difficult to change. In New Jersey if you delay at a green light longer than 0.5 seconds you will get honked at, so I’m used to aggressive driving.
But now I live in a much different neighborhood. I also grew up where no one ever played in the street, ever. Everyone played in the backyard. It is a little annoying to occasionally have angry looking parents look at me when their child is playing in the street. It’s like I’m trying to drive my car on their personal street. And our neighborhood has plenty of parks walking distance away. It doesn’t make sense. But oh well, that’s how it is and I’m adjusting. My goal is to always keep it at 25-27mph even with no kids present anywhere. But I do forget.
Now my main point is, I try to be a good person and I'm a fairly cautions driver. Especially when backing up. Even when I don't see kids, I'm looking for small shadows or feet between parked cars and if I see kids, I of course slow down. But when someone starts yelling at me my first instinct is to get angry back. If you ask anyone who knows me I'm not an angry or vengeful person. But now I'm really fighting the urge to not drive faster around that crazy lady and just keep my speed down.
Complaining with anger and yelling at a person makes the situation much more difficult. I do sometimes forget my goal. Ask the person politely. If she politely asked me to slow down I would not have anger and adrenaline pumping through my veins whenever I currently drive around her home. But regardless, my goal is still 25-27mph even with no kids present and to try not gunning my engine up to that speed.
In my opinion, trying to have a person’s license taken away would probably create quite the enemy. As it is difficult to make a living without a car. They will have a lot of time to think of ways to get back at you. You don’t want that.
Now for what would work: a speed limit indicating 15mph would very much help the situation. I’m used to driving 3-5mph over the posted speed limit, even if a police car is present. I’ve never been ticketed yet and I would usually get passed or tailgated if I went slower. A speed bump would also greatly help, as everyone slows down for speed bumps.
I hope this helps. Just pray for me that my adrenaline dissipates quickly and I can resume my goal. I would never want to injure a child. I just have to fight 30 years of experience being an aggressive driver. But I’m really trying.
