Yes, another question prompted this one :)
How many of you do special mother-son, mother-daughter, father-son, father-daughter activities and/or trips?
Even though our family does almost everything together, including travel, we sometimes set aside special time to spend alone with each of our kids.
Examples: I've done mother daughter trips with my girls, things my husband/son has zero interest in, like Broadway/American Girl in NYC. We also did a few mother daughter retreats/overnights/craft fairs and classes through church and Girl Scouts, and of course the occasional girly movie and lunch date. I have also done mother son activities with my son, including an annual ski trip, cub scout dinner date and trips to NYC (not American Girl, lol!) and the Grand Canyon. My husband has done the same kinds of things, he has taken the girls to father daughter dances, gone camping and golfing with our son, and has taken all three kids on fishing and ski trips at one time or another.
So, if this the norm in your family, what kinds of traditions do you have? Or do you always do everything together?
Jo W there's nothing lame about playing video games with your son, that's awesome!
We do a girls weekend out. Sadly even though my ex has the boys they sit around and do nothing. I also play video games with my son. May seem lame but it makes them happy.
You bet! Just had mother/daughter pedi and lunch day Saturday! The boy comes home tomorrow!!! Yay! He will be home for about 10 days before he goes back to college. We are having our "family vacation" this weekend. Rented a beach house in Galveston. I will have little man come for lunch this week. I have missed that stinker!
He will be 20 in September so he's not a little man but he is my "little man".=)
Both my husband and I think it is important to have one on one time with your kids. The boy is mini husband and the girl is mini me. =) Funny how it works that way. However, the boy looks so much like me! He hates when people say "oh you look just like your Mom". I told him that is a compliment because his mother is so fine!!! =)
All kidding aside, yes, it is so important to connect with your kids one on one. Learn their interests and personalities. I have gone camping (yuck) and paintballing (Yay) with the boy. Those are his interests. We NEVER missed a concert or band competition for either child. We make all the major events.
We received a notice in the mail letting us know when "Parents Weekend" was at his university. We had already planned to go up to Kentucky to homecoming but I asked him which one he wanted us at. I didn't want him to be the only kid who didn't have parents for parents weekend. =( He wants Homecoming.
I want my kids to know how to treat others and how they want to be treated by others. I was the first girl my son "flirted" with. My husband told my daughter what "boys REALLY want". I think it is very important that kids have a healthy relationship with their opposite sex parents. Mom/son and Dad/daughter as well as Mom/daugher and Dad/son.
We always do everything together. Our time is limited as it is, with both of us working full time and the kids are older and in school. We dont have much time after school during the school year and we only have the kids every other weekend so we do family activities during that time. We would like to do one on one time, but mostly do that at home. Like my husband will play wii with our son and I will have my 12 yo help cook dinner. I guess that counts, you don't always have to leave the house for one on one time. =)
All of the families I know do things as families and then with each child or different individual children.
As i said in the previous post.. Children each have their own interests.. When they start school and or become interested and involved in outside activities, many times different children will be involved in different things.
They will need a parent to accompany them, but the rest of the family will not be included. Boy scouts camp out.. Obviously the younger boys and the girls will not attend, but Dad or mom will.
Music competitions. Again only the child or children that are a part of this will go on these trips and a parent as a chaperone.
Dad and his daughter who play golf together, mom and the son that play tennis.. why would the other child feel like someone is the favorite?
The youngest children need a baby sitter while mom and dad go to an event with the eldest child because it will last too late and the youngest would be tired or bored. ..
Good heavens, it is not showing favoritism, it is allowing your children to have some one on one time with a parent. Especially in large families. Allowing them to be individuals.
Why would the boys want to go on a girls trip with all of the aunts and female cousins? Mani pedis,coloring each others hair, watching chick flicks.. gossiping about girl stuff, when for once in their lives be able to stay home with dad and hang out, eat what they want, go places where they want, wear what they want, without the girls bossing them around. Dads make great parents, but because they tend to be the ones that work all of the time, this will be so much fun for the sons to have him all to themselves.
This is not an every week event. This is a once in a while.. maybe once a year event..
not sure what the harm or the guilt is all about.
i can understand missing the spouse or the children, but not guilt about leaving them with their other parent.
We do try and do things with the kids separately. Once per year, we each take one of the kids (alternating each year which kid goes with whom) for a whole weekend, and we do something that child would like. This year, my older daughter and I went to the SFMOMA, then the Sheraton Palace for high tea, then spent some time at Union Square wandering around, and then to Lulu for dinner. The next day, we went to the Exploratorium. My husband took our younger daughter to do her favorite things, too. It's always a surprise what we will take them to go and do, so they really look forward to it!
This year, we bought season tickets to the ballet as well. There will be several ballets that the kids will like. My husband has no interest in the ballet unless our kids will be performing, so it will just be me and the two girls. We're so excited about it!
My husband and I will each separately take our girls (separately) on mother-daughter and father-daughter mornings/afternoons/days/shopping trips. They each get a turn with each of us so they don't feel left out. We also will do special things at home with them based on whatever activities they each enjoy best. Very often, they end up inviting their sisters along because they have more fun with their sisters than boring old Mom.
My brothers and their wives will also do special things with each of the girls on their birthdays. So does my best friend. For instance, we had a very rough school year for my eldest this year since it was a transitional year from elementary to middle school. In the 3rd quarter she pulled her grades up really well but in the final quarter she made honor roll. My best friend bought her a silver necklace with a little silver "J" studded with tiny diamonds as a reward. It was the sweetest thing.
Each of the girls' godparents does special things for them as well.
The girls are very much aware that it's all right for their sisters to get some special time and they'll get their own special times too.
Sometimes I watch zombie movies with my 7 year old, just us, in my bedroom. She loves it.
Sometimes I play video games with my 11 year old (almost 12).
Sometimes I just sit and give my 9 year old her sensory diet.
It depends what they want to do. It's all good.
