SOS! 3-1/2 Year Old Will Not Behave at Daycare

I had the same trouble. Be consistent with punishment and make sure he understands what sorry really is. Children are very smart and right now he is playing you. My daycare provider worked with me in helping my son behave. They came up with a sticker reward program. When he was good he would immediately get rewarded with a sticker. The teachers-all of them- would periodically throughout the day come up and give my son a high five and tell him what a good job he was doing at being a good listener. I had the hard part because when I had to pick him up from school for being bad I had to make it not fun. He would sit on the couch-no tv-and I took the one thing he loves most in the world away.--going outdoors with his friends-I explained why and he had a fit the first couple of times but I stuck to my guns. I also came up with a kinda of silly thing called the candy man. When dropping my son off at daycare I would tell him if he was good that the candy man would drop something off at the house for him. My other half gets home before me and he would stop at the dollar store and pick up a few toys and scatter them under some of the outdoor bushes we have. When my son was good at school he would run to the bushes to see what the candy man brought. When he was bad he would run to the bushes and be sad cuz there was nothing there. I explained to him that the candy man was watching today and him being bad and bad boys don't get things. It took a little over a month and my son is a new kid. It has been six months and he everyday the teachers say he is good. Now kids are kids and aren't going to always have good days but no behavior like before. All my friends kids are teenagers and they say this is just the calm before the storm. Gotta love kids.

It sounds like he doesn't get enough one-on-one and down/quiet-time at day care. Think about how many children are in his classroom and the ages of children in his classroom. At a home day care they usually have a variety of ages and the infants/toddlers need more attention then the older ones (plus the provider may not have any assistants which makes it even more difficult if they are at capacity).
There could be too many kids or not enough adults - either way, talk about it with your day care provider or you can get resources from your pediatrician about children's behavior and development.

What kind of situation is he in at daycare? I would wonder if something has changed there and what kind of discipline they're providing. While you do need to work on him at home with his difficulties at daycare, the daycare workers have the immediate responsibility as discipline is most effective soon after the wrong-doing. If it's a large group setting, maybe it's time to put him in a smaller group or vice versa. If you have found something to work for you at home, definitely share that with his daycare teachers so they can use it as well. Not sharing and talking back to teachers aren't really major infractions, fairly common with this age. The talking back is what I'd be most concerned with and suggest the teacher put him immediately in time-out for that. If the daycare isn't willing to work with you, I'd start looking around. They may have a policy of how many times they call a parent before they won't let him come back. Maybe he just doesn't like it there. Hang in there!

Sounds like you need super nanny! There is not much you can do about him being the only child, so make the best of it :-). Make times at home he will have to share with you, or daddy. Make SURE he does share with you, gma, friends, too. At daycare is the time to discipline him, not at home. Discussing it at home is best, but waiting to teach him about sharing at home is too late. Make some sort of plan with daycare about what will happen if he isnt sharing and make sure they will follow through, every single time. If he is removed from play and made to sit, not matter how many times it take to make him sit, he will finally get the hint. It sounds like you are trying everything you know. Just be sure at daycare they are enforcing the rules of sharing every single time and he will eventually get the idea that he will tow the line or be sitting and watching. He is old enough to get it very quickly. Play dates with others are good things, too because he will have to share. It wont take long, just make a plan and stick to it. GOod luck!

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