Son with Speech Delay

Hi M.:

I'm a speech pathologist who works with children from infancy until 3 years of age. I would highly recommend getting him a speech evaluation through early intervention. The earlier we work with parents and their children and how to facilitate speech, the more rapidly they change. Especially with a family history of late talking, you really want to help him along. What often happens with these kinds of kids, is that they're so smart, but they can't communicate what they want. They then become frustrated and it changes to a behavior problem. I know the thought of a speech therapist sounds intimidating at this point, but those of us in early intervention specialize in working with kids these age. We see this all the time, and we can help so much. If you do this through the state's early intervention program, it is absolutely free. We provide this service to everyone, rich, middle class, and poor.

Take care,

J.

I'll try not to repeat what many of the other people wrote...

I, too, am a speech-language pathologist, and have a 21 month old boy.

I think you should get an eval...there's no harm in it. It sounds like you're worried about speech therapy...why? Do you know that in speech therapy it all revolves around games, toys, bubbles, etc...? And that you may get ideas from the therapist to use at home, that you may never have thought of? I just wanted to let you know that it is not a scary environment or situation. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Around 18 months my son said a few words (sort of). He was never one to put things in his mouth as an infant. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea (snored at night, and stopped breathing briefly). We waited to see if the tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy for the sleep apnea would help with his speech. It did sort of. We waited to see if his experience in daycare (thus being around other kids more) would help. It did sort of. Finally around 26 months, I was tired of being dragged around the house so he could show me what he wanted instead of verbally expressing it (or even using some sort of sign language). We went through the State EI program. It was great! The speech therapist definitely helped enforce the expectation that he needed to SAY something in order to get what he wanted.

We did the EI evaluation twice, about 3 months apart, before we decided to get him started in the program.

Also, his pediatrician always asked if he felt frustrated by his lack of communication skills. He didn't, but she suggested that it would be better to start him in speech therapy if he did because you wouldn't want that frustration to manifest itself as other behaviorial problems.

It sounds to me like you can wait a few more months to see if he makes any progress on his own and starts to show an interest. After his 2-year birthday, if he's still not talking, start the EI evaluation process.

Hi M.,
My name is K., mother of an 18-month old and a speech-language pathologist before I decided to stay home for awhile!
I'm sure your Dr. told you that boys often talk later than girls and also if you and your husband were late talkers that can also have an impact. We used to recommend children at 2 yrs. be seen if they weren't talking and have moved it to 18 months due wanting to catch more severe problems earlier. If your son is carrying out tasks and his hearing has been checked, then it is only his expressive lang. that is delayed. Even my own son is a little slower than I'd like at developing lang! So, I think waiting until 24 months is understandable but if you still have concerns then, I would get the evalutation because early therapy can help prevent therapy in the school years. I"m sure you are already reading to him but that is key. Also see if he will imitate any sounds- animals, silly sounds, etc. or just look at you and maybe imitate some faces. Also, encourage him to attempt words and really praise whatever he does- even if it's just a sound. I have several friends with the same situation- two that I can think of and one has their child in therapy, the other is waiting until 24 months so it is a common issue.
Hope this helps a little...
K.

hi M.,
I have worked as a speech therapist and I would tell you to wait until he is about 24-26mths of age. Have you noticed any other/strange behaviors with him eg. withdrawal, self play, baby talk? If not, I would definetly wait. Some children sit back and absorb all of this language and vocabulary, and then all of a sudden they will not stop talking. Make sure you and your husband talk clearly and identify objects with good emphasis so that he will pick up on things. I knew several children who were 3 yo and did not talk until then. When they did start they started with short phrases and went right into sentences. Do what you feel is best and what makes you comfortable. Good Luck

Something to think about...once you contact Early Intervention it will take them several weeks to do evaluations. IF they determine your son needs speech therapy, you will most likely have to wait weeks (or even months) before they find an available therapist. All the while your son is getting older and moving closer to age three when you're no longer eligible for EI services.

If I were you, I'd get an evaluation now! It's free. It's in your home. It's nothing painful or scary for your son. You can choose what you do with the information once the evaluation is complete. And remember, there is nothing wrong with needing speech therapy. I bet if you started asking your friends, you'd find out that many, many of them have children who also needed speech therapy.

One last thought...have you tried teaching your son sign language. There is research that shows this actually acclerates spoken speech.

Hi M.-

I know that it is hard to hear that anything could possibly be wrong with your child, however I am a parent of a child that has gone through speech therapy and there is nothing wrong with it, nor does it mean that there is anything wrong with your child. I am a firm beleiver that the longer you wait the more harm you may cause your child. It is easier to correct at a younger age, verses waiting until they start school. Children are little sponges at this age and absorb everything. Both of my boys have gone through speech therapy. My youngest started when he was not quiet 2 and showed a 100% improvement by the time he was 3 1/2.
Trust me I know how you are feeling, I was there not only with one child but with 2. However, with my second I was able to identify on my own that his seech was delayed, only because I went throught it with my first child. Just because his speech may be delayed does NOT mean that your child is not smart.
Please think about it. There is an Agency in Crystal Lake called Options & Advocacy that you can contact and let them know yours and your Dr.'s concerns and they will come out and do an evaluation on your son. Should he need speech they will provide it until he is 3, after he turns 3 it is up to your local school dist. to provide it for your child.
Here is their phone number ###-###-#### or
http://www.optionsandadvocacy.org/

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.
____@____.com

My daughter is 18 months and all she says is Da and more. Sometimes she will throw out a word but she has a big brother who does all the talking for her. I didn't talk until I was 2 years old and my mom says that once I started I never shut up. Don't rush it because once they start to talk you'll wish they would be quite for a bit. He will talk when he is good and ready.

I do not think he has a speech delay - lots of boys are holding there at this time in development and it does not seem abnormal as long as he is cognitively aware and behaving according to his age. The speech can come later sometimes.

I am going to be the odd one out, and tell you to go with your doctor's reccomendation. I have a 4 year old son with Autism. At almost 3 years old, he had the speech level of an 18-21 month old. Through speech therapy and schooling, he is just about at his age level now.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with your son, but if there is any sort of delay, early intervention is key.
If you doubt your doctor's reccomendation at all, you can have your son evaluated by a speech therapist through the county, free of charge.
Good Luck with whatever decision you make!

Yes, my son was about 23 months when he started speech therapy. We actually had him tested at 18 months, but he didn't qualify. You should at least have him tested and see what they say. My son loves "speech class", and has loved since since the day he started. I believe any child is lucky to recieve tharapy. It is a whole hour dedicated totally to your son by a tharapist who specializes in speech. What is wrong with that!! It definitly will not hurt him, so why not give him an extra push. If after a while he starts talking and you feel as though speech is no longer needed, you can always stop the therepy. When a child is under three if he qualifies for speech, it is funded by the state. If your insurance does not cover it 100% the state pays for the rest (or all-whatever the case is) Our speech tharapist is great, she gives us all kind of support. Please e-mail me if you have any questions. My son is almost four and still in therapy, so we have gone through it as well!
Karen

Hi M.,
I have a 27 month old daughter that was the same way...At 20 months she said daddy and fish, thats it..... One day around 24 months or so it clicked with her and she has been speeking new words every day.. She is now 27 months and is speeking soooooo much metter, just keep working with him daily.. Good Luck.. If you want to talk ____@____.com

Hi. My son didn't start really talking until he was 2-1/2. Yet, like your son, he was smart and understood everything. My pediatrician mentioned speech therapy too but we waited it out and we are glad we did. We just kept reading with him, and would praise him anytime he did use one of his few words. We even would tell him that we knew he could say the words but we would wait until he was ready (no pressure that way.)

It was on a Sunday (I remember specifically because it was amazing) when all of a sudden he began repeating us and "using words." People always said that boys talk later and because he was our first born he didn't have siblings to mimic. I completely agree. My second son, who is now 23 months old talks in complete sentences which is extremely advanced in comparison to where my oldest was at 23 months.

I hope this helps. Good luck to you.

I read the responses you have and I think it is fine that people give their opinion based on their experiences but that is all it is- their opinion. Listen to the professionals. I am a neuropsychologist and can tell you the research suggests that intervention is very important between the ages 2-3. After age 3, it will be a lot harder to intervene. I strongly suggest you get your son evaluated. Don't let someone else's experience dictate what is best for your son. Listen to you doctor (he or she is giving you the best advice based on current data and not their own emotional reaction). Lastly, you say you and your husband "are not quite ready" for your son to be evaluated. This isn't about you or your husband- it's about your son. Put your own fears and insecurities aside and follow your doctor's advice. Good luck.

I disagree with the doctor completely. I do not think you need a therapist. He is just going to develop on his own. My brother was like that at 2 and when he turned 4 he was talking non stop and now is in college graduating this June from University of Chicago. So I suggest you read to him and just talk to him as much as you can. He will be fine, I think. Good luck and God Bless

M.,
I wouldn't be too worried! My son was at about that same stage at 20 months. He did a lot of 'talking', but it sure didn't make any sense to us. Now that he's 28 months, he's talking a blue streak. It came on very suddenly shortly after his 2nd birthday. He can make sentances and comes out with a new word every hour, it seems. Most of the little boys I have met were much later talkers than the little girls. I bet he's just fine...he's taking it all in and one day he'll shock you =)
K.

Dear M.,

My son was diagnosed with a speech delay at 24 months because he was saying only 5-6 words. My pediatrician recommended the state of IL's "0-3 program," who I contacted (administered through Clearbrook in Arlington Heights). He was evaluated and found to be "normal" i.e. no hearing or developmental impairments. They recommended speech therapy, which we did. It helped a little and the speech therapist gave my husband ideas about how to get him to talk more. At 30 months, I went back to work and put him in daycare, which he loves. He had a language explosion and now won't stop talking! I think he just wasn't ready to talk and being around other children his age who were talking really jump started the process. Good luck.

Personally I would get him checked out. It is free through the state, I beleive until they are 2... it doesn't hurt and you will know.. I wasn't sure about my daughter and I did it.. and she was fine.. but it was nice to be reasured... To me if there is a delay.. it is better to work on it sooner than later.. there is nothing wrong with your son if he does need speech therapy.. I have a bunch of friends who still do speech therapy with their kids... what will happen when he does try and talk, you won't understant him and he will get fustrated.. that is worse...

Why not do it, if it is offered through the state for free...

I hope this helps.

Dear M.,
I just wanted tell you about my son he is 3 1/2 now. I just went and talked to a speech therapist. He is in preschool. She was telling me that a lot of kids don't talk as early as others and some sounds are learned later when they are older. She also told me that they usually don't test kids before kindergarten. My son has a speech problem and now visits her. She said that it won't hurt if they wait a year or two. My advice to you and your family is not to worry. Your child is still young enough and may just be sitting back and learning before she is ready to jump in and start talking. Just keep talking to her and if she is not talking by the age 3 then get her checked.
B.

Hi M.,

My first child was a late talker - was a little over 2 before saying much of anything and I never worried about it. She understood what was going on and made her way without talking and then eventually started talking.

My second child however, also wasn't saying much by 2 yrs. old and my intuition told me is was something more. I had him evaluated through the early intervention program and he had expressive and receptive language delays. He started therapy right away and went a couple times a week for a while. I was always with him during his speech therapy appointments. As far as he was concerned it was just another place to play. For me it was a great source of education. I learned so many ways to help him and all play based.

My advice is to first follow your intuition. I bet it's right on. And second, if you do decide to get some speech therapy - enjoy it! It's focused time with your child and great insight as to how language develops and how you can help. It's non-invasive so what's the harm? It's unlikely it's ever hurt a child to have help a little too early or even if they didn't need it from a speech therapist.

One last note, my third child talked much earlier than the other two. I'm sure partly because the older siblings were role models BUT, I credit a lot of it to all of MY learnings from speech therapy. I approached language differently, more proactively with her.

Good Luck with whatever you decide and most of all, be at ease with your decision! You are his Mom and your intuition is your best resource!

While my daughter isn't speech delayed, she is not as advanced as her brother was at 17 months and I have asked my doctor about it. He told me that as long as they understand what you say and can follow instructions, being delayed isn't that big of a deal at this age. As 20 months is pretty close to 17 months, I would assume that the same applies. Also, I read Einstein didn't really talk until he was 3 and then talked in full sentences.

As long as your son understands, I think its fine. Sometimes too they can talk more than you think but when you do everything for them, there is no need to talk. For instance, my daughter can say up but prefers to walk up to you and hold her hands up. I then try to say well say up and sometimes she does.

Dear M.;

I would first like to say that every child develops at a different rate. Second, a speech therapist is nothing to be afraid of. The doctor most likely wants to make sure that if (and that is a big IF)your son needs any type of assistance with his language development that he gets it early. If you wait another six months your son maybe talking non-stop, but on the other hand, if he is not you could have made six months worth of progress in Speech Therapy. My daughter has been in OT since birth. She was born with a birth injury the Dr. recommended PT and/or OT. I had to change therapist several times until we found 1 that worked for my daughter and myself. If we would have waited my daughter's disability would have been much worse and she wouldn't be where she is . There is something called Early Intervention in the state of Illinois and they will get a therapist to come to your house. It is based on a sliding scale and you will only have to pay so much a month based on your income.

Just think about it. I hope whatever decision you make works out great. Congratulations on what sounds like a delightful and wonderful son. If you would like I could give you some resources for places that provide therapy services.

E.

A lot of people have opinions on this. I can only speak with experience. My now 4 year old boy didn't want to speak until he was 3. I was so worried, I had him tested and they diagonsed hm with a speech delay. But, we also told the doctors that he points and knows what he wants he just doesnt want to say it. Then we noticed that after he pointed he grunted and then my oldest son, said "he wants this." Well, then we took him to the docs again and told them what happend and they too saw this as we brought both boys with us. Then they said that the reason for his delay is that it is always done for him so why should he speak? My dh and I always were ready to give him what he wanted or needed. We were good guessers the doctors said. My eldest, who is 18 months older than the latter, would talk non stop. So my youngest figured that his brother would do all the talking. Well, we stopped doing things before he wanted them and made him say the words he wanted. No, you can't have it until you tell us what it is type of thing. So....guess what, in less then a month he was a complete CHATTERBOX. He then talked more and with better pronunciation than his older brother. lol So, in my experience, check what is going on first. Is he reponding or not responding because of you doing things or is it a workable difficulty? My dh and I didn't have a lot of money to afford speech classes and special ed or extra doctors. We went on our GUT feeling, and ya know what? WE WERE RIGHT and we didn't have to spend more money than necessary. That is just our situation, others may and will be different. Everyone is different and situations are different.

I am a speech-language pathologist and would strongly urge you to take advantage of the free screenings/evaluations provided to those under the age of 3 via Earl Intervention. All this will tell you is where your little guy falls on the ranges of understanding and using language, suggestions of ways to continue to increase this skill, etc. Should there be a more specified concern, wouldn't you want to know it and address it as quickly and as soon as possible? Please feel free to email me with any questions. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

M., when my daughter was 18 mo she was not talking at all, just grunting and pointing. As other mothers have said, the Illinois Early Intervention program is wonderful!!!! But it is only available until they are 3. Then the school district may take them once they are 3, but their testing is very different and their programs are not 1 on 1 at all (at least in Sycamore where I live). The EI program will test for all types of delays, speech as well as motor skills, which was great for me because we also determined (not right away, but after she was in the program for 9 months) that she was having motor planning problems. I asked for her to be tested for motor because she was struggling with learning how to put her clothes on and also showed balance struggles when going down the stairs.

My daughter started EI when she was 21 months and it was the best thing we ever did. She is now 3.5 yo and you would never know that she could not talk at 18 mo. Her pronounciation is terrific for her age and her motor skills are drastically improved.

I say get him tested at least. You don't have to start the program they recommend, and you might even find that he is in the normal range. But it may give you some peace of mind.

I regards to the cost of EI, it is sliding scale based on income. Both my husband and I work so were were in one of the top wage brackets and only paid $100/month. The therapists charge about $70-100/hour. It was so worth it. My daughter enjoyed her therapy and they became great friends. Plus the therapists deal with kids just like yours every day and can give you guidance on what to work on and lots of other things.

I hope this helps with your decision.

D.

Hi M., My name is D. and my son is now 4, and at 18 months his doctor said he had expressive language delay, and my husband and I werent so sure..because he was doing everthing but talking, screaming, pointing crying laughing, but just before his 3rd b-day we had him tested by first steps, and he was diagnosed with oral and verbal apraxia...which sounds scary, but it all about planning and producing sounds and letters....Brandon has now been in therapy foe a year and he is talking great it its sometimes hard to understand what he is saying, like "f" is used for "S" and other letters are used for others... so if you have any questions you can email me.....dont get me wrong it not easy.....it hard to know who to listen to wheater or not to get him tested...boys are slower at talking. but I wish we would of him brandon tested eariler.....my daughter is almost 3 and she has no problems at all.....I also know that with delays it alson takes a good therapist..it took four months to find a good one.....the first one we times out because he turned 3 and the 2nd one we havd sessions at our house, and that didnt work and alo our son is sooo stubborn...so we found a good out patient therapy for him and he goes 2x a week....and im told he will need it for his delay probably for 3 years depending on the severaty and how well brandon keeps doing.....if its confusing let me know....I know how you feel.....

D.

My son was a late talker as well. When he was 18 months he could say daddy and he called me bobby (for mommy). I would have to say that he was 2 when he started saying more words and I was really worried about him, but the doctor wasn't. She said if I wanted I could put him in speech therapy, but she suggested to give it some more time. He's 3 and talking up a storm!

I would suggest really encouraging him to use words. If he wants something and points to it, try to help him use words to show that he wants it. I found that if my son didn't have to talk, he wouldn't. Work on family names too. Show him pictures and have him tell who everyone is. My son loved doing that and remembers and says names very well.

I think that I read somewhere that children who are very mobile at first and are working on their accomplishing mobility skills from early on can be late talkers. My son was walking on his own at 10 months and was always figuring out how to climb, how to build things, how things were made. He was working on that part of his development first. I don't know if this is true or not, but it fits my son.

Good luck!! I remember when all I wanted was my son to talk....now he won't shut up! LOL!!:)

Does he babble? Does he make different sounds with his mouth. If he is making noises, I probably would not be concerned. Boys often talk later than girls. Is he the oldest? Don't talk for him. Repeat the word of something he wants and see if he will attempt to say it.

You could take him to see a speech path. all they will do is evaulate him first to see if he has delay. I know it is frustrating. I have a 21 month old girl who is not talking also, but she has other issues that are causing it. Good luck to you.

Jenni

HI,
I just want to emphazize the importance and the huge impact early intervention has on children with delays, however minor or major the delay is. Professionals say the absolute best time is before 3 years of age due to the development of the brain.
I do know personally what you are going thru. I have a son with delays in all areas, and has been receiving services since birth. Today he talks up a storm with a huge vocabulary and is very close to being as "normal" as any other 5 year old. I know it wouldn't have been that way if we didn't get him the services.
It really can only help, at least get him tested and see what they say. My son also loved going and I got to meet other mom's in the same situation. We used Clearbrook and as far as I'm concerned they are the best. We've been thru a few over the years. best of luck to you and your little one. H.

Hi M.,

My daughter didn't say much at all until 20 or 22 months. (She also didn't walk til 17 months and now I can't keep up with her!) I was advised by friends and neighbors who'd taken advantage of Early Intervention to use their speech therapists. E.I. is a state program that charges on a sliding-scale based on income, and most insurance covers it. Most people I know (including us) end up getting the services for free. They come to your home for about 45 minutes, once a week.

Loretta is now 2 1/2 and LOVES her speech therapist! It's basically very structured play, and it has given me lots of insight on how to encourage the right sounds. Kids are eligible for the services until age 3, and even though Loretta is in the normal to advanced range in most areas, it seems like a no-brainer to keep the therapy. So I woudl encourage you to not be intimidated by the prospect of "therapy." You're already paying for it in your taxes, and the process has been really painless.

Best,

S.

My oldest, now 5, was a late talker too. I waited a bit too long. I would say give your son another 6 mths. If at that time he's not picking up in his speech seek help with early intervention. You can self refer at that age. I waited till my son was three, and he was ahead enough to NOT qualify with the schools (it's the school district who evals after 3) and even though people couldn't understand him, he wasn't bad enough. We ended up in private speech therapy and it helped greatly. He's still behind some of the other kids his age, again not enough that he would qualify for speech in school.. but he's evening out a bit.

I would agree to wait till that two year mark, but after that... I wouldn't go more than a couple months past that to have him eval'ed.. it's SOOO helpful when they do it!

Hi M. -

I have 2 kids who both were late talkers. One is now 6 and the other is 3 yrs old. Both understood well. If we asked them to do/get/point to something, they understood. It was just they did not speek that much at all. For my first one, I told my pediatrician about my concerns when she was about 18 months, but he told me not to worry. But I couldn't take that risk. I have a niece who was a late talker and we all just kept saying "she'll be ok, it'll happen." It wasn't until she was in kindergarten/1st grade that she was evaluated with delays. She's now 13 and unfortunately still has speech/communication delays. She's been in the special education program in school since she started. Anyway, due to this experience I certainly did not want to take a 'let's wait and see' approach. So I contacted Child & Family Connections in Lombard - 630/493-0400 to have my daughter evaluated. They did determine my daughter had a delay and we started speech therapy 2x a week. Within 7 months, she just bloomed! It was the little kick start she needed. She's now in 1st grade and she is doing awesome (actually better than awesome :-).
Basically the same thing happened with my son. Except this time, with a different pediatrician, the Dr did recommend the Early Intervention services. He had speech therapy 1x per week and again within 7 months...non-stop talker. (Now if I can only get him potty trained...different issue!)

I will admit, I didn't tell anyone in our families about the speech therapy or our concerns about their delays during that time. It's silly as I think about it now. I wanted to hide it from everyone because I didn't want people to think I was a bad mom. But in essence, I was actually a good mom for recognizing that something was wrong and doing what I could to make sure my kids would improve, even by seeking professional help.

I wish you and your family the best.

Obviously everyone has there own opinions on this subject. Lots of people have stated that you can wait. Others think you should not wait. As a mother of 3 boys who have all at different ages needed speech therapy I firmly believe that intervention is key. My oldest did not get speech therapy until he was in 1st grade. He only had trouble with certain sounds. My second did not get tested until after he turned three and received services through early childhood through Dekalb County Special Education Association(DCSEA) which was fantastic! My third, I caught much earlier due to my experience and he received services beginning at 18 months through early intervention through the state. This was the best thing we could have done for our child, The evaluation is free and due to our income(i am SAHM) we only paid $20 a month!!! This was speech and physical therapies. You and you alone know your child the best. If the comprehension is there and there is a family history of late talkers you could wait. But if you have any concerns, and since you are asking for our opinions it seems as if you do, then why wait. It is free and they may tell you that it is nothing or they may say they are glad you brought him in early. Either way you will feel better about making a decision. Good Luck! You can find out more about the program at www.dhs.state.il.us/ei
If you have any questions please email me at ____@____.com