I have a 4-year old son that loves playing with dolls. We took him to Disneyland a couple of years ago and he was able to meet the Disney Princesses. Since that trip he has been obsessed with Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, and Snow White. I buy him a lot of "boy" toys, but he prefers playing with girl stuff. I have two nieces that are about his age; we are at their house a lot and so he's always around dolls, etc. I try and introduce him to other things, but he doesn't seem too interested. Am I being overly sensitive given that he's only 4? He does have a couple of boy toys that he likes, but if there is a doll around he seems more interested in it. I know that it bothers my husband, but we both just hope that it's a phase he's going through. Any advice from mothers who have had a similar situation and how you handled it would be much appreciated!!
Thank you all for your comments. It sounds like I am being overly sensitive to the situation. I have never discouraged him playing with dolls or watching princess movies. I do try and introduce new toys because I know that the little boys at daycare have teased him about being a girl, and that hurts me to know that kids are mean. Thank you for your advice!
I think you're just being overly sensitive and placing too much emphasis on what boys "should" be playing with. I have a son and daughter and they both play with each others toys. I think it's great that my son plays with dolls and my daughter plays with tractors.
SA-
I hate to say it but, so what? Play is play! Boys who practice/play house and dolls are more likely to be a good father and be caring individuals. No toy should ever be girl/boy. Just as girls like to play trucks and action figures.
Boys like princesses because they are pretty- we all like to look at things that are beautiful, right?
Relax-it's no big deal! REALLY!
Just let your son enjoy being himself and ignore closed minded people.
H.
Just to echo the other ladies, it's great that your boy plays with girl toys too! I'm just gonna come out and say it...just because he plays with dolls does not mean he is or will be gay. I have a boy 6 and a girl 3, and they both love to play dolls, push the stroller, rock and feed the baby dolls, and I believe it teaches sensitivity to allow this play. They also love to play with their Army guys, legos, dinosaurs and any other boyish toys we have. It encourages creativity in their pretending. If your boy does grow up to be gay, it's not that he played with dolls as a little one. Also, when my kids are playing and pretending, my son sometimes uses a high pitch girl voice and my daughter sometimes uses a deep boy voice. Don't stress over the small stuff and enjoy playing dolls with your son. Oh, do your best to get dad to praise your son for feeding, holding and burping his baby doll well. Your son needs to know from daddy that he is doing something right not wrong. It could damage your son if he feels bad in the eyes of his daddy. Your son is probably mimicking how he sees you take care of his little sister, and that is wonderful.
My son likes dolls too. He is 3.5 years and I think it is great that he is interested in taking care of his babies. I think discouraging it is more likely to have a negative effect, as it will teach him shame for what he wants to do.
Yes...I'd say you are being sensitive, but it's understandable. Girls play with boys toys and it's fine...boys play with girl toys and it's time to freak! I would ask yourself why this bothers you so much or if there is something you are fearful of. I have 3 daughters...I dedicated one Christmas to boy toys only. I had brothers growing up so we had access to both gender toys simply through each other. I remember having so much fun with them with whatever toy it was...so I decided to give my daughters that opportunity since they don't have brothers to provide it with their boy toys. The more attention you give it, the more it's going to turn into power play than into what he might truly be interested in. Let him play and leave it alone.
My son having an older sister went threw a similar phase but is now 9 and all boy! One thing we did was get them toys that were something they could do together... A rugged jeep painted camo big enough for him to drive his sisters barbies around in for example. Because its really not a big thing to little boys their Mom is the world and especially if playmates are girls. Dont worry before you know it you'll be wishing he was just a tad less boy LOL! Maybe some gi joe type dolls, indian and coboy things... But really I think its all good don't stress. :)
S.
My son just recently started really getting into "boy" stuff, super heroes, dinosaurs, Star Wars.
He has a big sister and in playing along with her has always played with dolls, dress up, Barbies, you name it.
I did buy him a Ken doll, a boy polly pocket to play along with her and have one of his own.
Don't worry about it at all, it is normal and may just mean he will grow up to be a sensitive and caring father! :)
It isn't anything that you can control nor should you try.
My son is going on four and grew up around just all girls, myself and his sister, he all of a sudden when being around other boys that I babysit got into all the boy stuff so I think it is about who they play with sometimes too. Once he is in school he may change his tune to wanting sports and boy things however, just let him be for now.
You are being too sensitive. He is your son and you love him. Kids will tease other kids about anything. Their name, their hair, feckles, toys, whatever. If he prefers playing with dolls, so what?! Who decided what a "girl" and "boy" toy is anyways! Would you be as perturbed if you had a daughter who liked trucks or action figures more than dolls? Those are a "boy" toy. Is you DH worried that your son might be exibiting "symptoms" of homosexuality by playing with dolls? Becasue not all gay men are afemanent. And if he is gay, does that change your love for him?
Holly, Cathy, and Katie hit it on the nose.
He is a kid. He is 4. Let him play with what makes him happy. And if that is princesses, so be it.
PS How do you know that he doesn't like to pretend to be pince charming, would it still bother you then?
You can't control what your son likes. Even if you take the dolls away, he will find a way to play with other items that are similar. I think you are doing a good job by allowing him to play with what he wants--he will be who he is supposed to be, and you can't change that... I used to work in daycare, and there were several boys there that were more interested in dolls than typical "boy toys". On the flip side, I have a 4 year old daughter who couldn't care less about dolls or the Disney Princesses, even though all her friends LOVE that stuff...her favorite color is blue, and she likes to play with animals (horses) and do puzzles. I just let her be who she is.
Have you ever read the children's book "William's Doll"? It sounds just like your situation. The little boy wants to play with dolls, and his whole family is against it, until the grandmother finally gets him a doll and points out that he can love it and care for it so he will someday be a great dad. Try to think of it in those terms, and tell your husband not to worry!
Sounds pretty normal to me, it is most likely a phase and he had such a great time at disneyland that the dolls remind him of all the fun he had. With a new DD in the house having a son who doesn't mind girl toys may not be so bad!
