Son Is Having a Hard Time with Project

Could he change his mind and make 50 chocolate lollipops or 50 cupcakes?

I would have him talk to the teacher and tell the teacher 50 wallets was not feasible.

What a huge waste of time. What are they educating him to be, a sweat shop worker?

Is it possible the product itself is sort of secondary to the economics lesson? Like he should be making something very simple and then learning about supply and demand through the process at school?

If you feel that's the case then I would help him think of something else to make that's quick and easy. What about origami, one of those button/string things or some type of food item?

Personally I would not want my kids spending a huge amount of time on "producing" a large quantity of product. It seems like a lot of unnecessary, busy work to me.

How about switching to handmade magnets or handmade bookmarks? The wallets sound way too time consuming.

50 seems like a lot.
What are they going to do with them?
Sounds a little like a sweat shop activity.
From the instructions I've seen online, they said 'Scissors or utility knife'.
I would think scissors might be easier and safer for him to use to cut the tape.
You might want to introduce him to a production line concept.
Instead of doing each step one after the other and making one wallet at the time, do the cutting of enough tape for 2 or 3 or 5 wallets, and then assemble them - work in small batches.
He can also set goals - if he has 10 days to do this, then he needs to make 5 a day in order to have 50 made by the due date.
It's a matter of breaking a big seemingly impossible task down into smaller manageable steps - and THIS is the real lesson of the activity.

Additional:
Well, if it's economics, then it might be time to explain sub contracting and he can get some hired help with his manufacturing line. :-)

WHAT? 50 wallets? I would have a frickin' fit if ANYONE at school told my 4th grader that he has to make 50 wallets. There would be no way I'd allow that. I would be in the classroom in a heartbeat asking why more than 1 wallet had to be made and then I'd be in the principal's office about it. No way would I put up with this. Your child is being USED. I wouldn't allow it.

I'd be bringing in his OT report and telling the principal that something else less challenging and for sure a much smaller scope has to be chosen for your child. If they didn't honor the fact that he has problems with fine motor skills, I'd go higher up the chain.

The best way to make your child HATE school, hate any project of any sort, and hate art is to make him do this. Don't put up with this.

I would ask a few questions - likely of the teacher. What is the purpose of the project? What are the children supposed to learn/get out of it? I don't see that there actually is a point to this project as you have described it. He will not learn how to handle sharp tools well without supervision and guidance.

He is in fourth grade. I am pretty sure we did not use Exacto knives alone until we were older than that. My brother used one unsupervised when he was probably in 6th grade and was off the the ER for stitches within a few minutes. And he was NOT cutting duct tape. Making 50 wallets sounds absurd. Unless the goal is to teach the kids about the immorality of child labor and the plight of children in some parts of the world.

So - I would need a LOT more info from the teacher. If he is really supposed to make 50 duct tape wallets by himself , I would simply tell the teacher he is NOT going to do it.

ETA: No one is going to buy a duct tape wallet. Certainly not 50 of them.

The last 48 will get a lot easier after he figures out the first 2. I like B's idea of doing it over a few days. 10 a day won't seem as daunting.

Your husband is correct. It is hard for us moms to watch our kids struggle, but that struggle is a key component of their emotional and academic growth. That's why the teachers want the parents to stay out of it -- they know we parents have been way too involved in our kids' schoolwork, and to a great extent our generation has robbed our children of the pride of accomplishment. I'm a teacher too, and I can tell you that I see all the time that these young people don't know how to struggle, and they give up easily when anything seems like too much of a mental strain. Employers these days are complaining that young people don't know how to work.

They are only duct tape wallets. Your son's future doesn't ride on them, but your son's future does ride on how well he is able to cope with challenge. In that sense, this is a very important project. But so what if they don't look perfect? You need to give your son the message that he can handle it, not that he can only do it with mommy's help. When he is done, praise him for his hard work and perseverance, regardless of how they look. Let him stay up late for a night or two, if you need to.

You can give him some broad advice -- suggest watching the YouTube videos or whatever, but other than that, go into another room if you can't emotionally handle watching him struggle.

He will be very, very proud of himself when he accomplishes this task, ESPECIALLY since he doesn't have the best fine motor skills in the world. Don't rob him of that pride by doing it for him, or changing the project or intervening in any way.

ETA: Reading some of the other responses: Gah! Let the teachers teach! Don't micromanage and interfere if you deem it to not be a valuable lesson. It's SO not healthy for your kid! The project has been given to the kids and they have accepted it. Aren't we the same group of parents who is usually saying that our kids should follow through with their commitments?

ETA2 - An hour or two of homework (busywork) for a first grader is counterproductive, and is a much different thing than an occasional project for a 4th grader.

I am all one for letting kids figure out how to do school projects by themselves with minimal assistance - however, this has to be the most moronic project I've ever heard of. 1 duct tape wallet is tough enough. 50? I can't really see the point of this project beyond making the poor kid hate economics. Sorry you and he have to go through this.

Maybe there's something a little easier he can choose to make?

I agree with your husband. Personally, I think it sounds like a ridiculous assignment, but you can't let your son see that negative attitude.

You can support him by validating his feelings when you see him frustrated, but do not step in and micromanage him. That will set a very bad precedent going forward. IF he seeks you out, I'd ask him reflective questions like "what do you want to do about that?" If you let him struggle, he may just find a solution on his own. He may be just waiting for you to come in and solve this for him or rescue him. Don't do it. It would be better for him if he decides on his own to go to his teacher for help, rather than you making teacher contact. If he decides not to or can't complete it, don't make it a big conversation, just let it happen without any fanfare.

What's the worst that can happen? A failed fourth grade assignment in wallet-making? It's really, really hard to watch your kids struggle, but this will be a learning experience for him to know his school work is all on him. I wouldn't contact the teacher, but I may bring up the struggle at the next school conference and get the teacher's take on it at that time.

At my kid's elementary school they did something similar in 3rd grade, however all the crafting work was done at school.

Duct Tape wallets would likely be a popular item, but they are too big of a project for his time and abilities. I suggest is he choose a more appropriate item to make. Return what unused supplies you can and start over. Ideally, choose something that does not require sharp straight blades or intricate fine motor skills.

This sounds similar to a project both of my kids did in 4th grade. It was part of a bigger unit in social studies where they created a classroom money system, earned money doing classroom jobs, paid taxes, and paid fines for various things.

They also had to come up with a product to make and sell during a market day. (Due to allergy concerns, food was not an option.) There was a limit as to how much real cash could be spent on supplies. Parents were allowed to help as long as we were paid for that help. The payment could be in the form of chores to work off the cost or as my son liked to do, we negotiated a certain amount of the classroom money that he had earned as payment to me. That worked out well because parents were invited to the market day and in helping him, I earned "money" to go shopping. Maybe that is an option for you and your son? If not, can he talk to the teacher about choosing another product. My kids had to fill out a "business permit" and have it approved by their teacher. If they wanted to change products, they had to fill out a new permit and get it approved. If there's enough time, maybe that is an option.

It is actually a great project and the kids love the market day. There are a wide variety of products. I saw purses made of old tshirts that were cut up and tied together and I saw simple folders decorated with a strip of duct tape. Part of the process is selecting a product that they are able to make within the given guidelines. The kids also did "market research" to find out if their classmates would be interested in purchasing their product ideas and how much the classmates would be willing to spend on the product.

The year my daughter did this, I think the smartest product I saw was shopping bags. A couple of boys worked together, bought a bunch of the plain paper bags with handles that you can get at the craft stores, and decorated them with stickers & paint. They also paid a premium "fee" to get the table right next to the entrance. I walked past them at first, but after my 3rd or 4th purchase, I realized I was going to need something to carry all my stuff. So I headed back and bought my shopping bag.

Did he pick this as his project? If so, I would intervene because you understand his limitations right now and it seems like he M. have choosen a project that is too big in scope. To be honest, I have made several duct tape wallets (and play purses for my daughter) and I think it would be incredibly difficult for a fourth grader to accomplish making 50 wallets without a lot of time and practice.

If he wants to make something cool that other kids would like to have, maybe homemade Gak put into little jars would be something he could do by himself but much easier to actually accomplish.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/240309330089369175/

As far as the whole idea that parents need to "butt out" so that learning can actually happen, 100% agree. But this isn't a case where you are writing a report for him, rather as his parent you can help him recognize that he needs to respect assignment deadlines in combination his own capabilities and turn in the best possible work he can, given those limitations.

Good luck!

I am wondering why he has to use an X-ACTO Knife. I would never let my child use one. I consider them to be very dangerous tools. Adult only or an older child with supervision.

Buy him some scissors? You can buy scissors from Hobby Lobby for a dollar. If the duct tape adhesive gets the blades dirty they can be cleaned with alcohol.

Our girls made purses. Each purse takes a few minutes so 50 could take a week or so. Once he figures out the pattern and how to get it going each one will take less time.

You can sit beside him and make some too, he can teach YOU how to make them. BUT yours can't be put in with his of course. This would only be a way way he can be supervised AND have someone to share the project with.

My daughter used to make duct tape wallets for fun a few years ago. She has exceptional fine motor skills. Her wallets were...not exactly "sale-worthy". It's not a super-easy thing to do. But certainly not impossible for a 4th grader, especially if it's broken up into 5 a day or something like that.

However, a 4th grader with fine motor skill issues is another story. And 50 wallets is more like a punishment than a learning opportunity. So in YOUR SON'S particular case, I'd see if there was any way to change the item to something less challenging. Can he make duct-tape key chains instead?

My kids always want to do duct tape crafts with their neighbor friends ages 12,10,and 9 . I am the only one who can make them looking decent . The tape sticks and can't come undone , they cut wrong etc . I end up making them all . It looks like your husband should just do them and call it a day . I know my kids couldn't do 50 wallets . Have you priced it ? It's expensive too . Good luck 🍀

50 seems like a massive number of completed wallets for any age, let alone 4th grade. Was this number set by the teacher when the project was approved, or did he propose it? It it's set in stone, then you have to help him stay calm and break it down into steps. If it was his idea, then there is some value in any "manufacturer" or "artist" adapting the goals to suit the actual conditions, which is one of the goals of the project.

I agree with what B said. Giving him a large work space so he can cut out the materials for 5 or 10 wallets makes sense. If he's using the kitchen table, maybe he needs a work space - can you borrow a utility table from a neighbor or put a couple of big boards (or piece of plywood) over 2 sawhorses? What about appropriate safety equipment, such as work gloves and maybe strong scissors instead of an exacto knife? What if he cut strips of tape and stuck them all to the edge of the table (hanging down), and then only had to take a bunch of them to assemble a wallet?

However, I looked at the instructions for one project like this (not sure how many versions there are), and I think it looks like more than I could do with a helper! A child with OT issues would be overwhelmed, I think.

I understand your husband's point about letting him figure it out, but I also think there's value is discussing the assembling line concept - do one step entirely (cutting the tape). Then do the next step (as the next factory worker or robot would do), which is lining up the pieces and sticking the first one to the second one. Otherwise each step is marked by constantly looking back at the instructions and measuring. Learning one step makes it become routine and repetitive, which would be easier for anyone, let alone someone with OT issues.

I think your job is to help him think it through and encourage him to change the system and order of tasks. I think it might be okay for you to hold the roll of tape while he cuts - it seems to me that this is for more than just 2 hands. You could ask the teacher if this is an acceptable accommodation for someone with significant fine more skills. Schools adapt for kids with special needs all the time - untamed tests, having to do fewer examples when writing is an issue, and so on. Let him know how good he'll feel when it's done and that his therapy was designed to help with just this sort of skill. A runner doesn't think about all 40 laps he has to run - just the next one. So if you break the project down into 15 steps instead of 50 wallets, and he just sees each step as the "lap" to do, maybe it will help his focus.

My oldest is only in second grade but when he had a project I joked with my husband that I was going to ace it and then he told me to butt out just like he did when he was doing his pinewood derby car. He was being sarcastic. He did do his projects but we helped him along the way. When i went to his class I seen some parents looked like they had done it all right down to their own handwriting. I think it's a balance if my kids get a project sent home then we are not going to do it for them but we are going to help along the way. I'll bet my house none of the other kids are doing it alone either.

50 wallets? That's a ridiculous request of the students.
I'd help him.
Esp since they are requiring an insane amount of each student to make.
Tell your hubby you don't want to set him up to fail then you help him.
Every kid I know that had this project had to make ONE wallet!
Let's give your poor child a break.....I couldn't make one of those wallets.
And if a teacher asked me to make 50 of anything....I'd freeze up or at the
very least...think it was a ridiculous amount & give up!!!!!

DID YOU SAY 50? YikesI really think breaking it down into steps would help him a lot. They do that in FCS classes for sewing projects, Industrial technology classes to make boxes and they break down math problems in Math. Why would this be a problem? you are modifying it for him so he can do it. But make sure he would like that help from you. Sometimes working through our frustrations really fill us with pride even though it is painful. I realize that every time I look at my sons. Having them wasn't easy and I would never trade all that pain for anything if it meant not having them.Sorry, I got a little symbolic, but I hope I made my point. Good luck!

I just googled making a wallet out of duct tape and the one I saw didn't require an exacto knife. The only cutting was cutting the strips of tape which he could do with scissors. There may be an easier one to make than the one you are making. In fact, this one appears to be able to be made in just a few minutes.

Fifty?

Holy cow.

Well, my child had to make some complicated design using bark and twigs once with a hot glue gun. Another time we had to make this weapon (catapult thing).

My husband got involved. I think you let the kid lead ... and do what they can, but my husband had to assist. The thing wasn't getting made otherwise.

Mine weren't good with knives either at that age. I am sure there would have been blood with at least one of them.

Sounds a tad unreasonable (50??). Are these for classmates?

I think you can help. Just let him take the lead and maybe more instruction ... side by side (I'm sure you have) but that way you can feel he learned something too.

Good luck :) (I think we've all been there...)

wow! that's a LOT of wallets!
poor little fella. and poor you. that's got to be hard to watch.
i would rethink this whole idea, and discuss it with the teacher. if they're that specific that they're insisting no parental involvement, then you need to abide by their dictates. remember the big picture. the stupid wallets aren't important. but there are a host of other, far more important lessons buried within this problem, about readiness, and trust, and honesty, and realism.
discuss with him that he has chosen an overwhelmingly difficult task, tell the teacher the issue, and start over with something he CAN actually do without you cheating and taking over.
then do that.
i appreciate your husband's stance, and disagree with your current solution, but i do understand that you can't just watch while the poor little guy just flounders. help him pick something that will accomplish the purpose of the assignment and make him feel confident and competent.
ETA after reading, it seems many of the 'sweat-shop' comments don't take into account that the little guy picked wallets as his project, the teacher didn't tell him he had to make 50 wallets. making realistic decisions is part of the lesson here, and kids need their parents to help them with THAT part of the assignment. it's not the teacher's fault that he picked something unrealistic and his parents went along with it.
khairete
S.

If he has only made one or 2, then i would consider plan B and find an easier item to make that does not involve an Exacto knife.

I have hear plenty of kids would planned to do one thing them ended up doing something else.

Updated

If he has only made one or 2, then i would consider plan B and find an easier item to make that does not involve an Exacto knife.

I have hear plenty of kids would planned to do one thing them ended up doing something else.

I agree with the other posts that 50 is a crazy number to have to make unless it is stringing a few beads onto a ribbon which is what my daughter did. The scope of this project is way to big for a fourth grader. If you stick with it I would give him organizing support. Have him cover 8x11 sheets with duct tape. Then cut those into 3 equal strips. Fold in half. Duct tape 2 more sides shut to it makes a pocket. Call them credit card wallets. Or duct tape 2 of those strips together with the paper side in then fold in half for billfolds. That should be something he could do in several sittings an hour at a time. And duct tape can be ripped. He can also go over the edges of the 8x11 sheet basically duct taping it to the counter and then cutting of edges with a scissor to make it a clean 8x11 sheet. Good luck. Make sure to do a "lessons learned" after he is done selling them and seeing what others did to avoid similar large scope projects in the future. That is the lesson here, to learn to plan and see things through OR speak up that this was a wrong project for him and find something easier. My second daughter collected rocks on a dirt road and painted them pretty colors and glued on googly eyes!