Son Doesn't Want to Stay in Highchair to Eat

My son LOVED his seat that attached to the table. He just wanted to be with us. I also found, even now that he's older, he eats better if someone is sitting there eating with him. If I'm just sitting there he doesn't eat, if I'm eating he eats much better. Just a thought. I don't know if Dad is eating with him at breakfast and dinner or not. Also you didn't say if you ate at the same time as him or not. :)

At this age, I don't think it's a problem. For me, I was more concerned that my son was eating well than where he was eating. Some days, his best meals happen in the shopping cart at the store where he wants the fresh fruit and veggies he sees (he would often eat an entire avocado) or in the carseat because what else is he going to do there.

He also has a little tikes table in the living room where he is allowed to sit and eat, which we started using when he was about 2 1/2. But, I think at 14 months, we just let him have lots of finger foods, and had those gerber bowls with lids so that he could get his hand in, but not spill his snacks(blueberries, frozen peas, apple or orange cubes, dried fruit) all over the floor.

He got to the point around 2 1/2 that he was not comfortable in his booster seat. So, I encourage him to sit on his knees. His aunts trying to be helpful at one point wanted him to sit flat on his tush. Again, I am more interested in him eating well, and being a pleasure when he joins us. No reason to sweat the small stuff. He is now 3 1/2 and we feel that he is old enough for us to insist that if the whole family is sitting at the table for dinner, he must join us. Most times, this is working out for us.

Some kids just HATE high-chairs. Both my kids HATED it. It is like being jailed... it is like a punishment. High chairs are a pain.

No, you do NOT have to have a child in that to feed them. If it does not work and the child hates the high-chair, why use it?
There are kids around the world, who do not have high-chairs, and they eat fine... at a kid height table... or just on a regular chair, or a booster chair... or at the coffee table, or by sitting on the floor at a table, etc. Its fine. In some cultures, they do eat at a low table sitting on the floor.

My kids, if at our dining table/kitchen table... just like to sit on the regular chair themselves... kneeling on it. They hated any contrivance of a high-chair.

The thing is: you do not want to make eating... a hated thing. It should be something nice and fun and pleasant for the child. Not a battle. If it is a battle, then it always will be. Just to eat. Not good.

Sure, when he is older and taller... he CAN eat at the table, like an "adult." There is LOTS of time, to do that... and for him to learn that. As you said... just make sure he eats.... and to me, a child does not HAVE TO be put in a high-chair. Just feed him in a place and in a way... that is productive... and NOT a battle.

I fed my kids... on the coffee table or on a kiddie table with kid sized chairs. They LOVED that.
Perhaps... get your son a kiddie sized table and chair... and he can use it to eat... and to do other things on. It is very useful. I highly recommend that.

All the best,
Susan

I'm not personally convinced that you can rationalize with a child that young. I do agree that it sounds like he's trying to establish his boundaries with you. It seems he has a much different relationship with his father and where those boundaries are at this time.

Our son hated being in his high chair and desperately wanted to be at the table with us. So, we purchased a booster seat (http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?e=product&pid=274..., and he was a much different kid at meals.

Both of our kids also love eating at a small table we got for them at IKEA last year. It makes them feel like they are more grown-up. Our daughter did really well at your son's age eating breakfast and lunch there.

But, in all fairness, my kids are both in full-time daycare, and they have scheduled meals. So, if they don't eat when it's served, they're not getting anything else for a few hours when snacks roll around.

Your son eats well with daddy because he's hungry when he wakes up and hungry from not eating lunch when it's time for dinner. It sounds like your son has found a new sense of independency and is testing his boundries with you. Sit with him at lunch and eat with him. I know lunch time is perfect for getting some stuff done, but this will show him to stay put at meals. Your child will not starve, so if he doesn't want to eat... don't force it. Keep his plate accessable for him so he can return to it to pick up a few nibbles. I think it would be a good idea to give him a chance and let him eat in a "big boy" chair next to you and see how that goes rather than in his highchair. Keep in mind that children from birth go through their independent phases roughly around every 6 months.
Good Luck!

My husband is home with my daughter during the day. he started letting her sit with him at the big table rather than in her highchair. I could not figure out why she refused to sit in her chair anymore. She would fuss and fight. And then he told me. Thanks a lot. Anyway, I still have some difficulty getting her to sit in one place to eat and I figure it is a pwrk in progress that will improve as the child grows older. We have a table that we use in our living room, one of those things that folds and can be used for snacks while watching tv, and she loves to sit at it to eat. The good thing is that she sits and eats all of her food. So I let her. My older kids had their own little table and cahirs that they used to eat once they outgrew their highchairs. As they got older, we had no problem getting them to sit well during meals. This is something you can skip a battle on but just keep trying.

by the time mine was a year old she got a little table for Christmas, bday is December she was using the little table and chairs set for her meals sitting just like mommy was at the big table.

I had this issue with my now 18 month old. Turns out she was just ready to be out of the high chair. I got her a booster seat instead because she liked feeling like a big girl sitting at the table with me. I made sure to eat lunch with her, not just feed her. Ive always just chopped whatever I made for myself or the family into child sized bites so we always eat the same thing. I got her a set of toddler silverware and those bowls that have the suction cups that stick to the table ( so she couldn't throw it as easily) and let her feed herself. If you give him the independence to do it himself it may make it fun for him. Try doing stuff like cutting his peanut butter/ jelly into fun shapes with cookie cutters and stuff like that. If he doesn't want tp eat don't make him let him down and give him am opportunity to eat later. I would limit the amount of time you do this for about an hour. Fifteen minutes before the hour get down on his level and tell him that you are going to put lunch away and ask if he is hungry and if hecwould like tp sit at the table and eat with you. If he says no tell him okay but there will be no snacks until dinner. Don't turn eating into a battle especially if it is just lunch. He is getting his breakfast and dinner so he is not going hungry. The last thing youvwant is power struggle over eating you will not win that war the one thing an individual can control is what gies into their body. If he is hungry he will eat, hence why he eats breakfast and dinner. The refusal of food is likely just him expressing his toddler need to explore his independence. You may have a cranky afternoon or two ( or ten ) but eventually he will learn that if he does not eat when it is offered he does not eat. He is a toddler there will be a lot of cranky afternoons anyway so go ahead and let him explore his boundaries and the lesson of cause and effect. His nutrition won't suffer and he' ll learn pretty quick that being hungry is no fun. My daughter is a little miss " do myself" so she was done with the booster seat pretty quick and didn't like being strapped down. I got a little toddler sized table and started putting her breakfast and lunch on " her" table and sitting with her. She is free to get up as she pleases but she must be seated to eat. She thinks it great and now when I tell her time to eat go sit at your table she runs over and sits down and eats just like a big girl. It's really cute. I don't even have to sit with her anymore she will sit all by herself until she is done and then she says done and I excuse her to go play. She does sit in her booster for dinner with the family because I have daddy's help and we both feel that family together at the dinner table is important. She has to sit at the table until we are all done and I facilitate that by giving her a coloring book or something to do when she is done eating. If she is insistent that she is not hungry I justvlet her play at the table and every so often I or dad offer her a bite of our food. Sometimes she just only wants to eat off our plate b/c she is convinced it must be better. Hope one of these ideas helps:)

I definitely think you need to teach him that he eats at the table and when he is done, he is done. He is learning to manipulate you by getting up and down up and down. If he eats well for his dad, he will have to learn to do it with mom too. I think meal times are very important. My family is so busy that it seems this is the only time we get to talk to each other. My children are 4 and 2. When my two year old gets rambucous and wants down, she knows she is done eating then and will have to wait for the next meal or snack. Sometimes she whines, but it has gotten a lot better. She picked up quickly that she was not going to control meal times. It is a time for everyone.