Someone Please Help Me with Toddler Gaining Weight Advice
Updated on
January 09, 2011
R.M.
asks from
Jackson, NJ
12
answers
Hello,
I think I am going to be the first person to ever ask this question because I have spent hours looking for an answer to this question but cannot find one anywhere.
My daughter is almost 2. She was adopted from Ethiopia and has been home for 16 months. Here is the problem in a nutshell: She gains weight rapidly for the amount of calories she is taking in. She is acting like she is hungry for more ALL T HE TIME, and she probably is, but when I let her eat more, she gains weight in an inappropriate amount to what she is eating. She is gaining now, on the 1000 calories or so a day she eats (per DR. advice), but she seems to need a lot more than that to make her happy and playful and active. Then why is she gaining on the 1000 cal. a day? She is already in the 90th percentile for "weight for height", which the doctor told me is considered very overweight. She is in the 40th percentile for weight and 5th for height. She has fallen off her growth curve for height drastically, but continues to gain weight. She used to be 50th for height.
I'm just so lost, as I can find information about children not gaining weight, children not wanting to eat, children not growing because they are not eating, or children gaining weight because they eat too much, but my daughter does NOT eat a lot. She is fed only whole foods, and I don't let her have cookies, chips, crackers, pretzels, ice cream, or any other treats. She eats oatmeal, peanut butter on rice cakes for lunch, vegetables, fruit, chicken, fish, a small amount of red meat (meatballs maybe once a week), not a lot of pasta at all, rice, etc. I'm at a loss and looking everywhere for a possible answer. It is difficult and scares me for what will happen as she gets older to try and keep her away from what she wants to eat. It is really a sad situation and I have been to so many doctors and no one can help me so far.
Thanks to anyone who has any advice for me, even if it is just a direction I can start researching.
Okay, I'm not sure how to add a reply to my own post-I'm hoping this is right!
Here is some further information:
I have seen 2 nutritionists, both of which PUT HER ON this amount of food, as well as seeing a pediatrician who also recommended this amount of food. They said that on paper, this is the amount she needs to grow. I didn't realize it was a "restricted diet". Also, I have tried extra protein (2 eggs with breakfast instead of one, sometimes even a chicken cutlet with breakfast, if I give her oatmeal, I mix peanut butter into it to add protein). I have had her thyroid tested. She is NOT in the 90th percentile for height AND weight. She is in the 90th percentile of WEIGHT FOR HEIGHT. This is a comparison of how heavy she is compared to how tall she is. Her weight falls into the 40th percentile, and her height is in the 5th percentile. This accounts for the overweight part, since these 2 percentiles should at least be pretty close together. And she is gaining all the time, but not getting much taller.
I have been to 2 Children's Hospitals. One "feeding team" left me with the advice that I should be happy I have such a great eater since they mostly see children who have trouble eating. That was helpful.
The next hospital is still following her, and wants me to take her to a gastroenterologist, but otherwise has no advice. This is an international adoption clinic, and they said they normally tell you to let an adopted child eat all they want for psychological reasons and for trust reasons. However, she told me I shouldn't do that just yet because there is no good explanation as to why she continues to gain weight, not grow, and be so hungry all the time. Parasite tests have come back normal, but we are in the process of collecting more samples to have her tested again. Unfortunately, parasites usually cause weight loss, and we don't have that issue at all.
In any case, I'm not sure what a normal amount of food would be for a child this age. She is NOT active at all. With my other children, I didn't think about these things at all. I just fed them what they wanted, gave them no junk, and they were happy and grew at normal paces.
Here are what I suspect might be some clues but I just don't know how to put them together, and I don't know what to do now.
1. She came home VERY overfed. She was 2 wks old when she came into the orphanage, and was well cared for there. But, every time she cried, she was given a bottle to quiet her. Apparently, she cried a lot to be held, and since they didn't have enough nannies to care for all the children, she was fed a lot. She also slept a lot.
2. When she came home, I was given NO information about how much/when/what she was fed. The only thing me and the doctor knew is that she was overweight. Then I got what was probably the worst advice I ever got: Feed her this amount, and this amount only (at that time it was not 1000 calories, and it was more formula). I followed the pediatrician's advice and went to a nutritionist, too. They told me to give her a certain amount of food, and her body would adjust to not being overfed. However, this was not what happened. She lost a pound and a half over 4 months.
3. When I went back and found out about her weight loss, I was horrified. I thought she was just miserable because she had so many teeth coming in, or she was adjusting to life in our home.
4. At this point, I started increasing her calories, and she rapidly regained the lost weight, but since then she has continued to gain and not grow in inches (not that much)
5. I think the damage done was more psychological than anything. She is now obsessed with food, and never wants to stop. But apparently her metabolism has slowed down (????) and she will now gain weight excessively?
If this is all true and I'm right, what do I do now? Do I let her eat endlessly (she will) and let her get even more fat? I am not concerned about having a chubby child, only an extremely overweight/food obsessed/unhealthy one.
Also, I'm not sure about the reason she was so overweight when she came home. Her stomach was HUGE. I had had 2 chubby kids before, but I have never seen a child's stomach look like that. She literally looks 9 months pregnant, and it gets bigger as the day goes on. This contributed to the doctor (and me, honestly) thinking that she was overeating. She LOOKS so much heavier than she is. At the end of the day, she cannot bend down because of her stomach. And I use a different size diaper at night because after dinner she is at her biggest, and the diapers don't go around her stomach so I don't want them to leak at night.
Again, any insight/opinions are welcome. I have found so much useful information from other parents. Sometimes they are more helpful than all of the doctors.
Can someone also tell me how I can respond to my own post?
Thanks,
R.
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P.G.
answers from
Dallas
on
I would definitely find a specialist. This isn't something a regular pediatrician would understand. Would the organization that you adopted her through be able to refer you? I would think that they may have dealt with this before and could point you in the right direction. Even if they only have contacts for this issue in other states, you could speak to those people and perhaps get a local referral. Good luck and thank you for doing such a great thing!
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S.O.
answers from
Chicago
on
First I would get a second opinion. Second it does not seem healthy to have her on such a low calorie diet. Her diet maybe the reason she is gaining so much weight. If she did not have a balance diet before you adopted her, her metabolism can be out of whack. When we starve our bodies our metabolism slows down. When your daughter came here you may have started feeding her more then her body was use too and so her body needs time to realize it does not have to be in starvation mode. By restricting her diet to such a low calorie intake her metabolism may just be slowing down to adjust which maybe contributing to her weight gain. You might be able to find more information if you read about eating disorder and metabolism instead of weight gain. I would also see if you can find a dietian that may be able to help you. I hope you find an answer soon.
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T.H.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Okay, first off she is not "overweight" just b/c she's in the 90th% for height and weight...in fact, she sound proportionate since both of her numbesr are that high. Both my kids are super tall and are in the top of the charts and are not fat...they are heavier b/c they are so tall. My pediatrician even tells us they are growing great and is not worried at all. So I wouldn't worry about that and would infact consider a new pediatrican on that comment alone, but whatever. I also agree that she probably needs to see a specialist. It does seem odd that she's gaining so much weight with only a 1000 calories, but again, to my untrained brain that doesn't sound healthy to restrict a child that much. I would ditch the 1000 calories first and then make an appointment with an endocrinologist. They will do the appropriate tests to find out if there is a problem or not. Find a pediatric one if possible, you can consult your local children's hosptial. She's going to be okay. Get the appropriate kind of help and ditch the doctors who are making you feel bad b/c that is just not okay.
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J.P.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Sounds like a parasite to me. The average panel of blood tests don't check all of the parasites that exist in the world, especially rarer ones on different continents.
I had parasites at age 8 and NOBODY could find them. I would eat and tell my parents that I was "starving". My dad got SO mad at me telling me, "You JUST ate! You are not starving!" I would cry because I was. Finally, my mom took me to a homeopath and he diagnosed me with something SUPER SIMPLE - pin worms - something the MDs should have found. He gave me a homeopathic injection and never had a problem with them since....and was no longer starving.
My kids have had parasites and we've used natural remedies for them - what a difference! Teeth grinding with one went away. A rash by my son's eye - and it was parasites, not excema like he was diagnosed with. Some are easier to get rid of than others. One of our kids, I had to use 4 different products to get rid of all of them, one after another. We eat lots of veggies and fruits, mainly organic, so they don't use pesticides and insecticides on it, so more likely to get them, especailly at strawberry season!
You may want to start with Dr. Natura and if you need ANY info, let me know.
I agree with the other posters. You should have her checked out. Ask for a referral to a specialist. A general pediatrician will probably not have the knowledge/expertise/experience to know what to look for.
It could be her body trying to stave off starvation if she was malnourished. It could be a thyroid issue.... thyroid problems can manifest in either loosing weight or gaining weight. There are so many things that could be going on it's hard to say where to even start.
You may want to start with a dietician. Have them review with you her diet (which sounds fantastic) and then they can help you go from there. You may also want to see an endocrinologist to start if not the dietician.
Also the fact that she is slowing down on the height in general...that is concerning. It really sounds like her body is not utilizing the food properly. Have her checked out. Starvation can do funky things to your body... even after you start feeding it properly.
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A.H.
answers from
Chicago
on
What makes us feel full is protein, so give her a bit more. The most interesting book I have ever read is called The End of Overeating:Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite. He explains how and why we overeat, in fact calls it conditioned hypereating. Well worth the 17 or 18 dollars on Amazon. The author, Dr. David Kessler. is a peditrician by the way. It does not sound like your daughter is overweight, but get a second opinion and see a dietician. God Bless.
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S.S.
answers from
Cincinnati
on
was she previously malnurished. if she was then her body will gain weight rapidly in order to prevent further starvation (the body tries to create a fat supply) is she gaining the same as she was when you first started noticing it, because this sort of weight does platue
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A.A.
answers from
Chicago
on
There has got to be something medical going on. Have they checked her thyroid and other things like that? Is it possible that she was underfed in the past, and now her body is in survival mode storing all the fat she does get? I know you say you have been to alot of doctor's, but you are gonna need to visit some more. Keep talking to the specialists, someone will figure it out. I wish you the best, sorry I can't be more help!
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S.D.
answers from
Dothan
on
If your so concerned, go to a child nutritionist to discuss it
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P.M.
answers from
Portland
on
There are many factors involved in weight gain: heredity, stress, poor sleep, unbalanced diet, general nutrition, and earlier food restrictions or deprivation.
Do you know anything about how your daughter's birth parents were built? Whether she experienced early food deprivation? How much stress she might have experienced in her first few months? (Stress may lead to weight gain through eating for comfort and through stress-induced hormonal and metabolic changes that affect the distribution of body fat.) Even stress and periods of food deprivation experienced by the mother is now thought to permanently change a child's metabolism.
It might be helpful to consult with a nutritionist, especially if you can find someone who specializes in pediatric problems.
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R.J.
answers from
Seattle
on
You need to work with a PEDIATRIC NUTRITIONIST. Preferably one who specializes in 3rd to 1st world transition.
What she's doing is NORMAL if she came from an area where she wasn't eating regularly. "Dieting" in the American sense (starvation in the rest of the world) turns the metabolism into a "hoard" mode. After only 2 years of anorexic behavior I could gain weight eating only 400 calories per day while hiking 10+ miles every day. EVERY single calorie I ate my body stored. It took several years (and doubling my weight) before my body would send calories to "appropriate" places.
Working with a nutritionist is key, because they will make sure that the nutrient load is geared toward *absorption* AND nutrients that are not fat soluble. When the body stores too many things in fat, then starts to melt the fat, the body and organs can actually get damaged from an overdose of fat soluble vitamins & minerals.
Anyhow, you're looking at up to a couple year journey while you coax her metabolism into normal behavior. You REALLY need a specialist for this, because what is best for YOUR daughter is going to be radically different from most toddlers.
