Socialization with 5 Year Old

Hi J.,
my son sounded just the same,he has Asperger syndrom.
This is a form of high functioning Autism.I'm not saying he has it,but just a thought.
If you have more questions please feel free to contact me.
____@____.com

My son is 5 and he is like this too. He does play at times, but not much with kids. He has been diagnosed with PDD and sensory integration and also has a seizure disorder. We are taking him to an Autism clinic in Naperville to get further testing done because I believe he has classic Autism. Unfortunately they do not take insurance there. Where do you live? Maybe if we got to know eachother and since our kids are kind of alike, it would be interesting to see how they would interact with eachother.
S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

Have you discussed this with your pediatrician? A lack of social skills can be something important to check out.

It is not uncommon for children who lack social skills to find it much easier to be around adults or much younger children. Adults can be a lot more forgiving, and smaller children can look up to him, and be more accepting. But if he's having trouble with children that are the same age or close in age, you may want to run this by your pediatrician or a doctor you trust. The doctor will most likely want to ask you questions about your son's development, to see if everything else is on target.

I would try to get him in a one on one situation or with 2 other kids for right now. He needs to learn how to interact with kids near his own age and it seems like it would be easier with 1 or 2 at first. We have a similiar situation with our 7 1/2 year old. My husband and I are older and our son relates well to adults and older kids and little kids. It's the ones near his age that are harder for him. It also doesn't help that we live in a rural area, so there aren't any neighbor kids to play with.

Good luck.
J.

Do you by any chance live in the Naperville area? My child is just like this and am wondering how the two of them would play if they had friends more like them? Anyway, it's just a thought and certainly something that I would be interested in seeing.

I have found my almost 5 year old daughter to have some socialization problems as well. But I find hers to be more of a shyness. Maybe you could try a playdate with just one other child at a time. You said he was with two sets of twins. I'm guessing the twins played with each other, leaving your son the odd man out. My daughter has been having playdates with out the other childs mother present for about eight months. Everytime we have a child at out house, the kids barely play together unless I am actively involved. I can't just dump out a bunch of barbies and have them sit and play. Typically the other child will want to begin playing with something new after 5-10 minutes. I think it has a lot to do with the age too. My daughter too plays by herself at first when with a large group of kids, but again I think it is because she is sizing up the situation and at times is not sure how to join in. Reading your post my mind does not even jump to Autism like the other posters, but I guess it is something to look into. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted!

Hi there-

I got your message about the museum tomorrow but went to respond and it's gone. Could you please send me your cell again? 10am sounds great. I will respond to your e-mail with my cell.

N.

I have an eight-year-old son about whom I had similar socialization concerns. He was an only child until he was 7-1/2 years old and always seemed to relate well to adults. He's frequently praised by strangers for being well behaved and mature. When he was five and moved from preschool to kindergarten in a different town, he became uncertain of himself in social situations. It still sometimes takes him a while to warm up to play with other kids, even some that he's known for years.

Sometimes I think he's too polite, afraid to interrupt other kids' games to get involved himself. I've watched him wait to be invited to play games with other kids from the neighborhood instead of just approaching them and saying, "Hey--can I play, too?" What helped him some was role playing. I pretend to be him and offer some phrases that might help him feel more confident.

My heart still breaks sometimes, but I try to remember that there's only so much I can do to help him navigate friendships. I am so thankful that he's always welcoming to others who approach him and want to play, too, which is a very important social skill.

I wouldn't jump to social/emotional disorders to explain your son's behavior. He might just need some tools and practice. I hope this helps.