Soccer or Softball for Teen Girl?

Let her find her place on the team. If she has taken some time off, she has had time to think about it and wants to try again. Perhaps she's tough, she doesn't mind being the target. If she gets tired of it, then it really is her decision. Or if the coach decides she is not an A player that is another issue. I would support her decisions.

My daughter played softball for years...lots of time, lots of great experiences. A great book to read about girls' competitive sports & potential pitfalls is Warrior Girls by Michael Sokolove.

i played softball growing up and was petite. petite girls tend to get benched alot because the stout or tall girls are the heavy hitters. there won't be as much bullying or whatever you want to call it in softball. soccer was boring to me. she has to basically be a tomboy to enjoy softball. my advice would be martial arts. :)

Wow, I just want to say that I am surprised by the conduct of the girls soccer league that your daughter plays in. My son age 12 plays competitive soccer for AFC, we travel and acutually had tournaments today and some of the boys are smaller than others and yes as part of the game people get knocked down or tripped but it is not spitefull. Every now and then they play a team with poor sportsmanship and players that are more bulies than athletes. But, overall, Sportsmanship is stressed in the leagues. I would think that the boys would be tougher than the girls but apparently not from what you describe.

It just sounds like more of a problem with the lack of sportsmanship some of the team players have than your daughter's size. You can feel it out, maby this year the girls will be more mature with better coaches. But, really should let her make her own decision.

The one she wants to do.

Ditto, she is expressing a lot of passion and determination to want to go back to a sport she obviously loves, but got bullied out of for awhile. That kind of chutzpah should be encouraged and admired IMHO.

And from someone who has played both... softball is UBER boring for someone used to using their whole body and all of their senses in close and distant quarters. Softball is all about sitting around waiting for a chance to bat (which doesn't happen unless you're in the first 3-4 if the other team has a good pitcher) and standing around waiting to see if a ball will come your way... which doesn't happen if your team has a good pitcher. The most active players are the pitcher and catcher. Everyone else is just waiting to maybe do something. Yawn.

My daughter has been playing softball for 10 years. She is petite and loves softball. It is not boring and is a great sport. Soccer is not a good sport.

Let her play what she wants to play. It takes passion to be successful and if she is not passionate about another sport, it will not be worth the hard work. If she ends up not liking soccer because of her size or the physical nature of the sport, then she will figure that out. She may surprise you and learn how to deal with the adversity.

Great quote: "Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child."

I would let her make the decision. If she thinks that she can handle it then let her do it. I know that you are concerned for her and that is what makes you a great mom but if you don't let her do this she may recent you for it. I wouldn't push her to do something that she doesn't want to do.

I would let my daughter decide what she wanted to do. Talk with her. What does she think has changed? At this age all sports (boy or girls) is very competitive. Make sure she understands that it isn't very likely that anything has change and she will still possibly be a target. Let her choose. My daughter loves softball. It is a great sport. But she chose to play. Maybe because I played for so long but she keeps playing for herself. The best you can do is be supportive and if she quits again don't let her go back. Just refuse to pay.

I think you should let her play the sport she wants to play. It seems unusual for the other players to pick on her so much, and I'm going to guess it won't happen this time around.

I play soccer, and I'm 52. It's very physical, and people have endured broken bones, torn ligaments, stitches, torn corneas, etc.; and some other teams are brutal, but I love it. I'll keep taking the chance of injury as long as I can keep it up. If a 52 year old can take it, your daughter can too. Let her play.

And p.s. Some of the smaller women are really good and very tough.

I have boys and not girls, but I think your concerns are warranted. What if she tried out for the school team in the winter? That way she could still play, but have less of a chance of some of the more aggressive girls.

She could do volleyball in the fall and softball in the spring all at school...

Just a suggestion.

Your daughter sounds exactly like mine. She's 13, 4'11", 85 pounds and fast. She also played recreational and club soccer when she was younger, but lost interest.

Last year she ran track for her junior high team and loved it. She is now racing on a club team for the summer. She will race this weekend and have the opportunity to qualify for the national competition held in Virginia at the end of July. There she can qualify for the Junior Olympics.

Maybe your daughter would be interested in track. I would also look into gymnastics for her. It's a sport that's very suited for petite girls.

Good luck!

Has she looked into field hockey? The smaller girls are usually FABULOUS at it. My daughter plays for The Woodlands and LOVES it. There's no contact - other than the sticks. The rules and positions are very similar to soccer. When you're fast, just as in soccer, you're going to be a star. It's fast and exciting and the games at that age are right at an hour.

I think that while your fears are founded because you're her mother, you really need to take her lead on this.
Let her play soccer. She obviously loves it, and she's really showing exceptional passion and determination by wanting to improve and continue.
Let her follow her dreams and it will teach her that she CAN do anything she puts her mind to. :)

Our daughter is a yr older than yours and began red softball when we moved to a new state 4 yrs ago. She played rec soccer and did taekwondo before our move, but was not agressive enough for soccer . She did excell in martial arts, earning her black belt in 5 yrs. Our girl too is a smaller build, fairly fast and pretty athletic, but by no means a star SB player, I would call her a very good player though.She loves the game and has played in both the spring and fall rec leagues here for the last 4 yrs. She plans to try-out for the JV team in Dec since she will start high school this August. I like that softball is such a team sport, helps develop confidence, is a little safer and the camraderie among the girls and friendships she has developed are great. We are encouraging her to try-out for the HS team if she chooses to since I think girls in HS athletics tend not to get into trouble. Most girls entering HS know they have to stay healthy, exercise and maintain good grades to stay on the team so they are usually pretty dedicated to their sport. I'd encourage your daughter to choose on her own though so she picks what is best for her. Good luck to her.

Lots of great answers ... especially about letting her choose. We have a petite friend that soccer didn't work out for her at the club level and she chose to concentrate on lacrosse .... great foot skills and tennis abilities might be just the trick for your daughter.

I agree with others to let her decide.

I played softball throughout high school. Of course this is not always true, but being small she is most likely not going to hit with a lot of power which is going to put her at a disadvantage as far as getting playing time. If she has quick reflexes and can field well that might make up for it, but since she's never played before I would guess that she might not be as good as other girls. What I'm getting at is, she may not get a lot of playing time and that would make softball pretty boring for her. A rec league that required everyone play a minimum number of innings would be ok, but anything more competitive might not be any fun for her. With fast moving sports like soccer and basketball there's a lot of substitutions but not so much with softball.

Good luck,
K.

I think it should be her choice as to what sport she wants to participate in.

She is at the age where it is very competitive. She needs support from you.

Whatever she chooses, it will be time consuming with practice, etc. I know my daughter is JV Cheerleader and she continues practice and private training all summer. It doesn't end....

If she doesn't go with the same scenario as before, competitive club, then her soccer experience should be much different.

I know in my experience when they go for other styles of sports they are more aggressive and the ref's really don't seem to intervene as much. If your daughter really wants to go for soccer and might want to try to get a college scholarship with it then go back to the club but otherwise go for a city league or just recreational style.

My daughter played for a local soccer complexes and really enjoyed it, then she wanted to take it up a step and joined an indoor league and I was very disappointed in the sportsmanship aspect of it. It was almost like watching Hockey.

Now I am raising several of her children and they all play soccer but we only play with a local recreational complex.

I never heard of soccer until college. I played softball, basketball, volleyball, etc...through my neighborhood church all through Jr. High and High School. One year I played on 3 softball teams. One for the city league, one for my church, and one for my best friends church. It was my favorite Summer.

I played softball in college, I was running about 5 miles every night, took aerobics, and working out with weights to stay fit. One game I was playing short field, behind first and second, and a ball came in our area. Right field called it and center field ended up tackling me to get out of the way and nearly breaking my R leg. I ended up having surgery and having over 100 stitches inside with the ends of my ligaments just barely being able to be stretched and reconnected with staples.

I had a year of rehab and still, at 50, have issues with my knee. So, just because you choose a sport you think is less aggressive doesn't mean it is injury free.

Just for information:
Short field is an extra outfield position, a "rover" that plays 10-20 feet outside the infield on the "pull" side of the hitter. For example, a deep short stop for a right handed batter.

The Rec side of her soccer club should work for her very well. By 13 most of the serious soccer girls are on Select teams so the ones on Rec are the ones that want to play the game without the pressure of the Select training and game schedule. There will still be some good players there that may want to play but don't have the time for the competitive schedule so she shouldn't be bored. My daughters are select players and one of the BEST players on the oldest one's team is 14, and maybe 4'6".( She's planning on having a "5 foot party" once she reaches that milestone, she has been the shorty for sooooo long.) And she can run circles around the other girls because she is tiny.
My oldest also played a year of softball and she said it was boring and
confusing. I think once you've had the fast pace of soccer, softball would seem like nap time. Let her choose what she wants. The refs are really cracking down on fouls, also, especially after that college soccer player was put on YouTube fouling so many of the opposing team by pulling pony tails, tripping, etc. It will either make her very tough-a great thing for a little girl-or she will decide on her own it isn't for her.
Good luck.

I suggest you allow her to go with the sport of her choosing. She is the one that has to practice and play. If you push her to one she doesn't want, she is not going to be happy when there are bumps along the way. Some sports can be tough for kids but they grow from the experience.

While I understand your concern for her safety as she is petite, support her. I was in the same position as her and played softball until I reached high school where I felt intimidated and discouraged aswell because of my size. I wish now that I would have been pushed and least given it a try. I regretted it all through high school but still look back and wished I would have continued. But if she starts it she should at least finish the season even if she begins to complain about it. Dont try and discourage her but find ways to help condition her before, during and after the season.

You are right!! Your daughter is very petite!
Here were the first couple of things that popped into my mind as a former soccer player (12 years).
- She probably got fouled just as much as all the other girls, but because of her size it looked a lot worse than it was. I am on the other side of your daughter. At her age I was 5'9 and weighed about 180. So, put your daughter and the old me next to each other, tell us to go for the ball....your daughter is going down! I was CONSTANTLY called for fouls, but that's because I outweighed a lot of the girls (lets just be clear, I was big, but not fat...and I played on the state's girls select team) I hated going up against tiny, petite girls because they often went down when going against me.
- Softball, to me, is crazy boring. Also, if your daughter is as petite as you say, she "probably" wont be able to get a lot of power behind the bat and ball. I could be wrong, and she could nail it everytime...but I don't think so. Also, they are LONG games, and a lot of waiting around for something to happen.
- Since she is so petite, she can probably run circles around the other girls on the soccer teams. Being petite definitely has its advantages. She probably is in great shape as well, so she should be able to last the whole game!
-last thought. Its what SHE wants to do! I know, as a mother, it is hard to be on the sideline and see that people are "hurting" our babies!! It makes me mad when I see my boys get hurt. But she knows what she is getting into. SHe has played before! I think you are going to have to let her make this decision mama.
L.