So Sad - Columbia,MO

You can make a list of things you like to do. I had this same problem. I read a good Chicken soup book. I also donated my time to the Americam Red Cross.

I have a senior and a sophomore.
I look at it like this -- every step is just that - a step. My oldest heads out to college in the fall. It is time and he is ready. I have prepared him the best I can. All I can do is have a soft place to land if and when he needs it.
They do come home -- with laundry and friends.
We have ways to communicate now that you and I didn't have in college -- cell phones, facebook, email, etc. It's a good thing.
When my youngest goes off, I'm going to spend the time I used to spend doing laundry, doing stuff for me. I'm going to shop, have lunch with friends, get back into my crafts that I enjoy, read more, and I might even try something new like pottery or jewelry crafting or something...
Graduation isn't the end.. it's the beginning of the next step.
LBC

OMG!! I have not stopped crying for the last month. My daughter just finished her first year at Purdue and we just found out a month ago she got an internship at a company in Indiana. My baby has only been home a week and she leaves tomorrow to start the internship. She will never be "living" at home again unless she comes back after she graduates from college, which I doubt. My other daughter is transferring from our local community college this fall, so we will be empty nesters. Plus, I am changing careers. My children are everything to me. They are my whole world. Oh my now I am going to have to spend more time with my husband! I sure hope he can handle it! All the shopping trips, lunches, walks, trips to Starbucks, manicures, and the things I do with my daughters. I almost feel sorry for my husband. LOL.

It's perfectly normal to feel emotional during these really big moments of our lives. Especially if you are going through family separation and turmoil, it is going to be even more emotional for you. Try to take it just a moment at a time...try your hardest not to think about when they DO spread their wings and leave home!!! Concentrate on the pride you feel in their accomplishments...and just tell them that they might as well prepare themselves for Mom to be a tearful mess....if they are anything like my children they EXPECT it of you...some of us are just criers...lol.
As a thought for the future ( it is too close to be able to do this now....)...think about the possibility of talking to your family doctor about the possibility of starting on a mild anti-depressant. I started on a low dose of Zoloft about 10 years ago, when my Mother was in the final stages of cancer. I noticed an almost immediate change...instead of crying at the drop of the hat ( and sometimes at really off things that weren't really 'tear worthy") I now cry at appropriate times...and it doesn't become immobilizing for me. I have recently switched to a low dose of citalopram, bcause of some side effects of the zoloft that I didnt like ( jaw clenching...really irritating!!!). It just sort of helps smooth out the rough edges and makes life much more enjoyable!!!
And please give my congratulations to both of your children...such big events in their lives!!! God bless you all

My kids left home all at once~so I went from having three at home to none! My oldest moved to be nearer his father who lives in another state, then my twins both left~one to the Army and the other moved to be closer to her friends in another city about an hour away from me so empty nest syndrome was just thrown on me and I didn't see it coming!
The first thing I did was to find some things I was interested in like pottery, reading, geology, needlepoint, and so on. I don't know if you work or how much time you have on your hands but remember that it is time you do some things for YOU! You have to have faith that you have raised the kids well and you will be surprised how much they will want to know where you are and what you're doing!
Don't look at it as if the kids moving out is a loss. Look at it as the next chapter in your life and next thing you know you will be a grandparent~then life really BEGINS! There is nothing to compare to holding your baby's baby!
You'll get through all this~just enjoy each milestone and get ready to make some for yourself. I was 50 and started taking piano lessons! Imagine how surprised the kids were when I invited them to my first recital! It was so neat to see the look on their faces when they could feel those same feelings of pride for you and something you have accomplished! : )
You'll have some lonely moments and yep, you bet you'll shed a few tears but this too will pass!

Remember, they will always need you and you will always be M..

Find some hobby or activity that you can plan on enjoying that you don't have time for now.
An exercise or yoga class or would be good, too or you could date.
Anything that gets you out and meeting people.
It's true kids seem to take over our lives and we love it,
but once you were a pre-parent and had other interests.

You mean I wasnt supposed to cry myself into a raisin at my daughter's Graduation? Now you tell me! (and I have a little one so no empty nest for another 13 yrs!) Its a time with pride mixed with sadness as one stage ends. the more my daughter matures the more she talks to me and discusses things with me. Start a hobby, read more novels, exercise more find what makes you happy! I really have no great advice just sympathy

Hi Christi!

I haven't been there yet (my oldest will be starting middle school this fall), but I would recommend finding some volounteer work now so that when your youngest graduates, you'll still have something fullfilling going on in your life- you're also likely to meet people and make friends that way.

Choose something you're passionate about- there are so many different opportunities, so many people need someone who cares. Here are some opportunities in your area.

http://www.gocolumbiamo.com/Volunteer/index.php

Blessings :)

i do miss my little boys, but the young men in my life now are SO interesting and fun. and now i have time for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
the first time my older son moved out i bawled and bawled. every time he came home i stood at the end of the driveway waving my hankie and sniveling. after the all-too-predictable rebound, he recently got an apartment near his work and college, and it was a little sad but much easier this time. he comes home for a few days to hang out every couple of weeks, and i'm finding my life filling up with my own stuff for the first time in over 2 decades. it's hard now to imagine how i coped with working, homeschooling and two busy boys!
don't try and evade the sadness when the time comes. moving out of the full-time mom phase is a life event and should be acknowledged, celebrated and mourned appropriately. but keep in mind that the compensations are subtle, but very very sweet.
:) khairete
S.

time to get a pet....& NO, I'm not being a smarty-pants! A new pet will fill your time & give you companionship.

My gma's life turned around when she was given a bird.....& I know that my dogs keep me going!

That said, maybe it's time to volunteer....lots of options in Columbia for that!

.

:0) Is there any way you can have a family night with games and just enjoying each other?

I know what you mean! Mine are growing up too, and I'm a single mom. I've been dreading the empty nest for a while, so I did some thinking and praying about it. We have hope in God's love for us. Hope doesn't leave with our kids. We will adapt, and there are things to celebrate, with the sorrow. It isn't like we won't be parents anymore. It's just a new stage. Also, focusing too long on it tends to get us down. I'm writing an article. If you want to read it, I'll let you know when it's done. God bless you,
L.

((((HUGS))))
I will be there next year. I have a junior and a 7th grader and a 5th grader. So they all move up or out.

Find a hobby, join a Bunco group, volunteer at the soup kitchens, in the church daycare or teaching Sunday School. Get a puppy.

I know how you feel about your children leaving home & I was sad to to see minegtoing away from me, but I was SO GLAD I raised 3 healthy children who were able to take their place in the world. I cried a few tears but tried to reflect on the fact that I had raised them to the best of my ability & helped them to gain a feeling of self confidence and assurance in order to meet the challenges of adulthood. I'm sure you'll enjoy the relationship you have with them for many years ahead. Celebrate the fact that you have accomplished what mothers are supposed to and will enjoy the fruit of your accomplishments as you watch them develop into successful business persons and/or parents themselves.