Snuggling to Sleep or Asleep on Their Own.

I agree with the other two posters....do what's good for you and your family.

My son is 2.5 and has always done very well going to bed on his own until about 6 months ago. At that time he needed someone either in the room with him, or he wanted me in the bed with him. I don't mind snuggling with him. It was a nice "us" time, even though it takes about an hour and I could be cleaning the house. No worries!

When he was still in his crib, I never minded if he would play quietly for a little while (sometimes close to an hour) when we put him down for the night. I figured he was just relaxing.

Hope this helps :)

I am with the others. Whatever makes you and him happy is great, that is my thoughts. I have a 5 year old boy and when I say it is bedtime he goes in there gets whatever toy he wants and within 10 to 15 mins he is out. When he was a baby my husband and I got a lot of things told to us that we were all wrong because we let him sleep with us for awhile. When we got him a toddler bed at age 2 he loved it. He slept in it sometimes and with us sometimes. If he wanted me to lay with him I did. My thing was I wanted him with me and I still have moments where I want him in bed with us. These past two nights he has been in bed with us. He has been sick and I want to know if he starts running fever or something. There are times when I will still just go cuddle with him because during the day he is too busy for mom so I get it at night. If he is asleep I will go in there and just rub and kiss his head for a bit. When people would give us a hard time about the way we were doing things I would tell them, "you know what? who takes care of him? who is going to have to deal with the problems you say I am going to have? I am not you so leave me alone". The way I see things is that he will only be mine to snuggle for a little while and I want to take as much of it as I can. I know one day I will look at him and say you are all grown up and I just want to hold you in my arms. Love them while you can. Let them get that nurture they need from you. There are a lot of different thoughts out there but you are the mother, you know what your child needs. Hope this helps you.

I'd have to agree wholeheartedly with the previous poster about you just have to do what is right for you. I have had two completely different experiences with both my children.

My first one (who is about to be 8) ... we co-slept. He was born early and with a soft trachea so for him to lie flat made his breathing really raspy and when he got a little cold, he couldn't suck his binkie and he just was MISERABLE. So I kept him propped up on a pillow with my arm beneath it. Because of this, he needed me there to really help him fall asleep at night. It worked for me and he was really a huge snuggle bug. I tried the "cry it out" approach because everyone was just so opinionated about me doing the wrong thing and since he was my first, I just assumed everyone else knew what they were talking about..... well, it didn't work. I couldn't stand listening to him cry... he'd get going so bad, he'd make himself throw up, then he was hungry, i had to clean carpets, sheets, him... it just wasn't worth it. We were all miserable becaue of it. I would clean up the mess, rock him and he'd fall right back to sleep.

Let me clarify, however, he co slept while he was little... after that, I'd rock him to sleep and put him in his crib. He would sleep in his crib... though he wanted out as soon as he woke up... IMMEDIATELY! My first wasn't good at putting himself to sleep. Sometimes it was a hassle.. sometimes it wasn't a big deal. But that's kind of the "bed we made" so we just dealt with it.

My 2nd kiddo I had a cosleeper attached to the bed and he slept there for the first 6 months... then moved to his crib. I did put him down to put himself to sleep and never let him cry it out either but he was much easier to sooth himself and just sack out than my first. My 2nd also didn't want to be rocked to sleep after a certain period of time... he wanted to just push away and you get out of his room and leave him alone. He would wake and play in his crib with his crib toys... totally content. Just about 2-3 weeks ago we moved him from a toddler bed to a twin sized bed with safety rails and he's doing great still... If he won't go down easily, we know something is wrong (sick or dirty diaper)... he turns 3 in July and like I said... night / day on my other.

I think as long as you are doing what feels right for YOU guys... that is what is right. I can tell my kids -- both of them -- bedtime and they know... it's bedtime. I've got a friend with a 3 year old that still sleeps with them though... in their bed in the middle of them.... I can't imagine that'd be any fun.

I'd enjoy the snuggles if I were you.. :) but that's just my opinion! :)

I too agree with the other that you have to do what's best for your family, however, I read at the bottom of your post that you all are trying to concieve #2. Our 6 yr. old at 3 yrs. was a rock me or lay with me until I go to sleep-even though I am going to wake up as soon as you leave the room, kind of kid. I admit, we rocked her to sleep until after she was 2yrs. old because I just loved it and so did she and then we found out that we were pregnant with #2-OH MAN! We knew that she needed to start at least trying on her own a little because we would never get any sleep if we had two of them to try to rock and/or get to sleep. Not to mention we were both in our last year of college. Anyway, it was difficult with her and having to transition her so I suggest especially if you are ttc that you begin breaking him a little at a time, perhaps coming up with a bedtime ritual like books and then lights out etc., so that when number 2 comes along that is one issue that you don't have to worry about. JMO

My son is 3 1/2 and I go lay by him in his bed still. I figure that if laying by him for 5-10 minutes keeps him from crying for 2 hours then I have no problem with it. Plus, I kinda consider this mommy time for him. I don't have any problems with him sleeping in his own bed either! Good luck!

I got to the conclusion that you need to do what you feel is right for your kids. You are always going to hear "do this", " don't do that", and every kid is different and mostly every parent is different.
We chose to have our son sleep on his own before he was one. He is now 26 months and have no problem going to bed. SOmetimes we hear him singing and laughing for over a hour before going to sleep, but we never get into his room.
Like I said, that worked for us.

Good luck!
P.

I have a 19 year old, 17 year old, 3.5 year old and a 20 month old. I slept with all my boys as babies/toddlers. They were very needy up until baout 4~but after 10~they don't even want you to kiss them. I say get as much snuggling in as possible. They are only little for a short time and then it's not hard for them at all to assert their independance from. I'd say you might have 1-2 more years of this, but he'll be a more secure teen/man for this important nurturing time.

Don't know that this will be of much help, but my little boy turns 4 in July and I (mostly for selfish reasons :(..my husband works nights and I am a SAHM) have kept him in the bed with me...I LOVE to snuggle with him....however...it is now near impossible to do any late night activities b/c when he wakes up he comes out and wants me to be next to him..he cries for me and of course, as you know ,being a mom you want to be there...I honestly think you will regret not getting him into his bed...as much as I love the "feeling" of being needed...it's just really hard...especially if you want to have company over later and the little one keeps coming out looking for Mommy....This is a huge deal in our house right now, so I thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about it...my husband has always been against Dylan being in the bed, but like I said..He works nights..and I like my "snuggle bear"..but there are times that I feel I have done him an injustice by not instilling that independancy...Sorry to go on a rant..it's just an issue for us right now...good luck to you and your family

I have a two year old who is fixing to turn three. I took him from his crib a few months before he turned one and let him sleep with me. My husband was in Iraq and I had a huge queen bed and he kept banging into the crib, even the bumper pads didn't help. I got tired of all the crying from him hurting himself and the bruises so I decided it wouldn't hurt to let him sleep with me. I had a big bed and it was only me. So I put it against the wall and let him sleep in between me and the wall and blocked the foot because he was a mover. Anyway, it was all fine and great then. He would go to bed and get him to sleep. I would still be able to do things once he was asleep. However now I am kicking myself and will not repeat this mistake with my little girl. My husband has been home for over a year now and we still can't get him to stay asleep in his bed. He has to fall asleep with us, I move him, than he gets back up in the night and gets in bed with us, and I continue the process. My husband complains about it all the time. It gets crowded and it conflicts with time we need together as a couple. I understand how everyone says they need the nurturing but there is a line that has to be drawn as they get older. You can't have a child totally dependent on yourself because when they get school age you are not going to be there for 8 hours of the day. You are not a bad mother either way...you do what will make you have peace of mind, but when things start getting out of hand you have to reevaluate and can't blame anyone but yourself. Good luck.