Ok, I saw the other post on here about weaning a child off the tv for sleep. I have a similar problem. I have three kids who sleep in a room together, age 2, 3, and 4. They have been sleeping with the tv on for quite some time now and we have tried to stop the tv watching at night time before but the 3 and 4 year old are both afraid of the dark.. The four year old will wake up if you turn the tv off in the middle of the night SCREAMING and in turn wakes the other two children up. We have tried using night lights and a lamp in the past but the children always unplug them and then the screaming starts again. I am trying to change the tv watching at night time for them to have a more restful sleep. Thank you for any help and suggestions!
Thank you all and btw, the four year old is not my child and she was taught the tv was ok from birth on. Also, I co-slept with both of my kids until they were two (I know controversial topic...) and because they were in the bed with me they learned to sleep with background noise(I sleep to the music channels on my tv, not shows). The four year old was introduced into my home after multiple traumatic events and so I know she has security issues. I am trying to change their routine without causing any more issues for the four year old and still implementing my rules. Also, I live in a multifamily/multigeneration home where the tv was purchased for the kids because their bedroom is their playroom. The tv will not completely come out of the room as I did not purchase it and it is not my home. I just was seeing if anyone had experience with working around this type of obstacle and how they went about correcting this issue, if at all. Once again, thank you for your contributions.
OMG, I'm sorry but why do they have a TV in their room at all? needs to be out, now. All kinds of research that will explain how bad that is for brain development and sleeping habits...
Maybe try another source of light, such as an aquarium? It can be lit, it bubbles, they can watch the fish, etc. I actually got a "fake" one for my daughter's room that lights it very softly and just has the same scene rotating around and she likes it fine. She also has a CD player to play soft music. But I also don't see why you can't just take the TV out of the room, or at least have put into some kind of cabinet that can have the doors closed when it is not in use. It may not be "yours" or "your home" but your children sleep in there and you need to figure out a better solution. And as much as the 4 yo may have been through a lot, screaming in the middle of the night because of no TV cannot be tolerated. Neither will the unplugging of nightlights and such. I think you need to just lay down the law, and let them know that there will be no more TV at bedtime and screaming will not work for them to get what they want. Maybe let them know that if they start screaming for the TV to be on in the middle of the night, they will not be allowed to watch it all during the day the next day. Time to introduce some reading of bedtime stories instead.
Ditto DMVmom with the idea of an aquarium. If you can't swing that since it's not your home, perhaps you can find something at ToysRUs that simulates a TV screen with a light in it. I would add a CD player with soft night time music.
I would tell her point blank that there is no more TV at night time. She can have this other thing and the music instead. I know you are working on her issues, but truly, weaning her from the TV is like weaning a child off of cotton candy before bedtime. This is bad on her health and the other children's as well.
Just be understanding and kind, but tell her that the decision is made and you will not change the decision. It would be best if you unplugged it so that it appears "broken" and don't let them see you do it.
Lastly, an episode I watched of Supernanny had 3 kids in the same room. They wouldn't settle down for the parents (every night was a screaming struggle.) She had the mother sit in the dark room with them, on the floor, with her back to them. Everytime one got up, she laid them back down without talking. It took over an hour the first night, 45 minutes the second, 15 the third, and then she didn't have to do it anymore. Perhaps you could do this, starting the same night as you "unplug" the TV from their lives.
I hope you will perservere in this and that you understand that this is as much manipulation by the 4 year old as it is her issue from before she came to live with you. Regardless of her problems, she has to be taught that she can't make the family revolve around her. It's your job to teach her.
Good luck,
Dawn
At this age I don't understand WHY they ever got into this habit in the first place. They are 2, 3, and 4! Who is in charge here, you or the 4 year old? Sounds like you need a reminder that you are the parent and they are the children. Explain to them that the TV is going away. There's NO reason for a kid to have a TV in their room, at any age. Then follow through. Take the TV and get rid of it (or at least put it where they don't see or have access to it). A nightlight like the one S.H. suggested would be great because they could turn it on by themselves (and it goes off after a period of time on it's own). The 4 year old needs to know that screaming is not ok. Follow through with it. You might have a few rough nights, but they will get over it. You are setting them up for sleep problems for their childhood and into adulthood if this continues. Just keep reminding yourself that you call the shots here and are responsible for them getting a good night's sleep and forming healthy habits.
I'm just now tackling this full on with my now 10 year old. Doing great so far. I explained that by school there will be NO TV on. 5th grade is harder and he needs better concentration and sleep.
The only thing I will offer you is that the 4 year old is plenty old enough to understand that SCREAMING at night with siblings in the room asleep is a line NOT TO BE CROSSED. Explain the consequences for doing that and stick to them.
If you want to change the issues surrounding sleeping with a tv, you are going to have to deal with the tv.
You don't want to do cold turkey - ok.
But you are never going to get them sleeping without a tv as long as the tv is plugged in and in the room.
I hate to think what will happen if you ever have a lengthy power outage and tv is just not possible.
The screaming will continue until you reach a new normal.
Trying to do this slowly is only going to drag it out.
I sympathize for you and your plight, but while you don't want to take the TV out of the room, what is stopping you from unplugging it and putting it in the closet? Research has shown that the "blue light" from TV's and other electronics inhibits the production of melatonin which regulates sleep cycles, so watching it in the evening sets a child up for staying awake and being cranky. Besides, TV's aren't even necessary for playrooms, try not to make excuses for the children.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that kids 2 and older watch no more than one to two hours daily. The AAP recommends that kids under 2 watch no television at all. So if you don't put the TV in the closet put your kids on a TV ration and once they've watched their allotment for the day turn it off, unplug it and exercise, read, play games, etc. to distract them from the TV. Choose their TV programming wisely, no mindless cartoons but educational shows instead. The following article will give you lots of good info.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_tv-watching-guidelines_64211.bc
There are cool turtle and ladybug nightlights that run on batteries and project constellations on the ceiling, they stay on for 45 minutes, a child 2, 3 or 4 shouldn't be touching electrical plugs or outlets! Giving in to their screaming only teaches them they can get their way. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine for the children, with bath, lotion and pj's, brushing teeth, reading, and lights out, keeping the lights low and talking in hushed voices the whole time to get them relaxed and ready for sleep.
http://www.amazon.com/Cloud-Twilight-Constellation-Night-...
Summer is the perfect time to introduce less TV, with more daylight for outside activities. And, YOU are the mom here, not the 4 year old, right?Keep telling yourself that and stick to it.
ALL kids, per age stages, from 2 years old, get afraid of the dark and develop general "fears" of the dark. It is normal developmental development.
Having a tv on, is not going to erase these fears.
Take the tv out of their room.
They will need to adapt.
Get a night light for them or something like this: (it is soothing and comforting versus a night light)
http://www.amazon.com/Cloud-Twilight-Constellation-Night-...
Or, give them each, their own little flashlight to keep IN bed with them. My kids, since they were toddlers, I gave them their own flashlights to have in bed with them. And they like it and use it.
Don't use plug-in lights. Plug in lights are dangerous and your kids are only 2/3/4 years old. Use battery lights. Flashlights etc.
I know a woman, who has a son who is now a teenager.
Since he was young, like your children, he had a tv in his room, to sleep. It was his going to sleep babysitter. But even now at his age.... he CANNOT sleep without the tv on or its background noise.
The Mom, really hates this "habit" of his. He was taught, that the tv puts him to sleep.
TV in the room is like an electronic tranquilizer.
Maybe turn the volume down and put a light cover over the screen so it's not as bright. The flashing of a tv in the night, even with your eyes closed, will interrupt rem sleep and really bother certain people. My husband cant sleep with the tv on. I like it on to fall asleep but it WILL make me wake up in the night and become a distraction.
The kids are still quite young, if there is any way of stopping this habit to need to see tv and light, you will do them a favor.
It's nice to have as an option but not good to be dependent on.
Updated
Maybe turn the volume down and put a light cover over the screen so it's not as bright. The flashing of a tv in the night, even with your eyes closed, will interrupt rem sleep and really bother certain people. My husband cant sleep with the tv on. I like it on to fall asleep but it WILL make me wake up in the night and become a distraction.
The kids are still quite young, if there is any way of stopping this habit to need to see tv and light, you will do them a favor.
It's nice to have as an option but not good to be dependent on.
I have TV's in the kids rooms. No issues here about that.
What I am having trouble with is this. You say you want restful sleep.
They were getting restful sleep and you are making their sleep less restful. If they are sleeping fine why change anything?
We have the TV on a lot at night because I fall asleep with it on. I wake up every little bit when it's off but if it's on I sleep like a log.
I guess I don't really see any sort of problem with them having it on, except maybe if the are watching the Cartoon Network to go to sleep and Adult Swim in on most of the night...lol.
Hi! Instead of turning off the TV try turning the sound down in small increments over a number of days so they used to it not being as much noise as they sleep. If you can get to the point where they stay asleep with the sound completely off you can try a small lamp to take the TV's place and trying getting them to go to sleep with that instead of the TV.
Good luck--
Hi, A.:
Call a family council.
Address your concerns by stating:
1. What you see happening with the children.
2. What impact this behavior is having on you and others.
3. What is the hardest thing for you.
4. What you think needs to happen to make things right.
5. Ask for help with feedback to solve the problem.
Good luck.
D.
My daughter has to have the light on all night, if i cut if off after she falls asleep or shut her door she instantly wakes up and starts freaking out and its not a fit, she has had a few nightmares and shes afraid(i had the same problem as a child so i will let her keep the light on and the door open). She used to also go to sleep with the tv on and i wanted to stop that fortunately my little boy broke the tv so that was that lol try another source of light along with sound such as peaceful music playing. mine always loved sleeping with music.. its always hard to change a sleep routine so good luck and just stick to it
I think the bubbling aquarium idea is awesome. I would remove the TV completely from the room. Kids don't need a TV in their room, and shouldn't have one, IMHO.
I can't sleep in silence. I have an app on my phone (ensight Radio Alarm). It plays the sound of a rainstorm for two hours every night and very softly fades away at the end (instead of shutting off suddenly). It's very relaxing. I also hate regular alarm clocks (they scare me awake and make me angry), so it plays soft guitar that fades in, getting louder and louder until I wake. LOVE this app and can't recommend it enough.
Best of luck!
