Sleeping in Own Bed

Have you thought about making her bedroom more inviting? My sister had problems with her 3 year old daughter staying in her own bed until they moved (I'm not suggesting you move). Anyway, her daughter got to choose the paint color,new comfortable cover, pillows, etc. They even repainted her toddler bed. Somehow this did the trick. It was slow a slow transistion at first (she would still want to crawl into bed with her parents). But, she got the idea that she was a big girl and had a big girl room that she really felt was hers.

We had trouble keeping my 4th child in bed. We went through similar stuff as you and your husband. We would just keep putting him in his bed. The first two times we would say "It's time to go to sleep, so stay in bed." After that, we would just put him in his bed and not say a word to him. The first night was ridiculous having to do it over and over. After that it got better. Just stay consistent. If it is an ear problem that is bother her then maybe you can prop up a pillow so she is sitting up a little bit. That is what I do when any of my children are really congested and can't sleep. Good luck!

You might try the Ferber method - you can google it or here is a site that I found quickly (didn't read into it) but it has been used and works for some.

http://www.sleep-baby-sleep.com/ferber-method.htm

T.

Hi J., I don't really have much practical advice for you, I just want to say that I think I understand how you feel when it comes to putting your daughter in her room and forcing her to stay there. My husband wants me to take that sort of approach with our nearly one-year-old son but I am holding out (and trying to talk to him to bring him round to seeing it the way I do). The attachment parenting guru Dr Bill Sears talks about this. What he says, more or less, and the way I see it, is that you can't teach a kid to swim by chucking her in the deep end, and you can't teach a kid to sleep by locking her in her room at night. The first is more likely to teach a fear of the water, the second a fear of the night. Is it possible to change your daycare to one that can be more sensitive to your daughter's needs, rather than expecting her to fit in with them? The other possible thing you might try is to go to bed with your daughter in her own room, and when she's really asleep, move to your own bed. You could let her know that if she wakes and she's lonely or scared, she can come to your bed anytime (but not wake you, if possible!) Sorry I don't have anything more useful to suggest!

I wanted to comment on the ear infections, My son was haveing many ear infections and the doctor had told me that if he had one more that we would have to see a specialist! well i looked ear infections up in my health book and it said that cod liver oil is really good for them. so i started giving him cod liver oil from sprouts. he didnt like it to begin with, cant say i blame him. but he would rather take that then amoxacillian. he now likes the taste. he used to chase it down with oj.he has not had an ear infection since and barely gets sick at all.
maybe if you get her ears feeling better it might be easier to put her in her own bed. ive had an ear infection as an adult and it really feels like your head is going to explode.
i hope this helps you.

I wouldn't let the daycare dictate how you raise your child. You need to follow your heart. You can try laying down with her until she falls asleep. Then, leave. If you have to go back in, go back in. She'll get used to it. The harsher you make it, the more she will resent it. I recomend reading the No Cry Sleep SOlution by elizabeth pantly. It has wonderful solutions. You could also put a sleeping bag on the floor in your room, and she can sleep on that and get used to sleeping a part from you. Good luck!

Hey J.!
Judging by your request, I'd say that the only way that your daughter is going to sleep in her own bed is if you are 100% committed to be consistent until she's there. She's been sleeping with you for a long time so at this point, it's going to be a battle of wills. You have to win this or you won't win anything ever again! :o) You and your husband have to be a united team about this and just get it done. Working in a daycare years ago, I can tell you that it's really hard when one child won't cooperate at naptime.
The advice below is really good. You husband has the right idea about doing whatever it takes to move her to her bed, but I don't think holding the door is the best solution. You need to just act indifferent about it and continue putting her back in her bed without emmotionally or verbally responding at all. And once you start this, it is EXTREMELY important that you don't give up. If you give up, it will make it twice as difficult the next time you try. Stick with it girl, and get ready for a few LOOOOONG nights. But a week of this is a small price to pay for a few years of your bed back with your hubby! Good luck.

J., I know this is a hard situation but you do need to be consistant with it. I have twins who are now 7 and had that problem. 20 minutes before their bedtime we would get a book, sit in their room on their bed and read it. Try reading. Also try soft music playing in her room. I even put a heating bad on the lowest temp under the mattress pad and sheet for the warmth that they feel from your body and tuck her in with her favorite animal and say good night and if she gets up, take her back, tuck her back in and walk away. Do not say anything to her. This worked wonders on my girls and from that day forward have been in their own bed since. I have to read every night and tuck them in really good. If it is not good enough they let me know trust me.

Good luck.

At the preschool my children attended (and the one I attended as a child), children were given several alternatives during "rest time." Many children are uncomfortable sleeping in a strange place, and some like myself and my oldest daughters just didn't nap at that age. The school should be amenable to your daughter looking at books, doing a puzzle, getting a back rub, or coloring a picture. As long as she is not disrupting other children there is no reason she should have to lie there doing nothing.

By the way, I slept in my parents bed until I was five, my daughters slept in our bed until they were four and two, respectively, and they transitioned to a shared bed with no struggle. They knew they were welcome to come snuggle anytime (and they still are), and just knowing that made the transition easy for them. They only ever ask to sleep with us now if they've had a terrible dream or are feeling ill. It's great to be able to provide that kind of security to children--good job!