Sleep Problems with 3 Year Old

3 & 4 yr olds have big imaginations and often suffer with lots of fears. He needs a lot of understanding, encouragement to talk out what's going on from his perspective, and physical/emotional support. The baby's presence in his life may be one of the things that's thrown him off. It always concerns me when parents have "a strict bedtime routine" because the childn's needs and feelings generally are nowhere near the top of the list in this kind of situation. It sounds like this child is stretching you as parents but it's more than just a manipulative stage. This is a difficult time for him. The things you've tried all sound good as well as your guess that he may be closing in on dropping the nap. Nightmares can be terrifying as well as scary thoughts when awake. I imagine he's not watching scary TV shows or getting any caffeine. Sometimes parents don't think of these things so I thought I'd mention them just to be sure. It may be as simple as wondering if he's loved as much as the baby or it may be much more complex, but I'd work with him gently with lots of listening for as long as it takes. The baby can catch up on her sleep around the clock. I think this boy's needs are strong right now, for whatever reason. Hang in there, H.!

He may be at a very manipulative stage right now, or he may feel a little jealousy regarding the new baby...which could cause him to be manipulative. Set his boundaries and then reward him the next morning if he is able to keep within them. I think if you focus on what a big boy he's becoming and how proud you are when he's able to sleep through the night again...he will prefer the praise to the attention he gets through the night.

One thing we did that worked for our oldest daughter was to be very clear before we tucked her in that she was expected to only get up when she needed to go potty or if she was sick. When she got up for any other reason, we'd walk her back to bed, kiss her, and tell her "this is bed time. Time to sleep". Then walk out. At first she'd follow us (& yes, it was stressful), but every time after that, we'd put her back in bed without any conversation or even eye contact. It progressed slowly, but after a few nights of this, she began staying in bed for longer intervals until, eventually, she would stay all night. It was exhausting and frustrating at times, but we were patient and understanding that it was also exhausting and frustrating for her. She didn't like it... cried alot...screamed sometimes. But it truely only lasted 3 or 4 nights and the peace it provided all of us (her, my husband and infant daughter) in the end, was priceless!

Oh dear. I have a 3 yr-old and a 4-month-old and am dealing with a difficult sleeper too (the 3-yr-old)! I have to lay down with him to get him to sleep and go in a few times each night too when he wakes and realises that he's alone again. It's exhausting!
I wish that I had solutions but I can offer sympathy. Hopefully there will be some good ideas from other mothers here.

The only thing I recommend is to come up with a strict routine (and I don't mean strict as mean, but follow it strictly). How about a bath with some relaxing lavender? Lights dimmed, pick out three books and sit in a rocking chair or in bed and read to him. Have a glass of water available for "thirst" (real or perceived). Have a night light on, etc.

You are right, he is trying to control hs world a little bit and I guarantee as your baby gets older and demands even more attention and can start taking toys, etc, your three year old may get even harder to deal with. There are lots of changes going on in your house and your 3 year old is trying to deal with it.

And remember, there is never enough attention paid to these guys...in their opinions. Honor that and set boundaries and pick your battles. This too shall pass. Have you noticed anything causing him to fight sleep more on some nights? Overtired, not tired enough...

I wish you luck....there are no good answers, just have to figure out what works for you!

I have an almost 1 year old and almost 3 year old, so your description could be ours. Sometimes bedtime lasts a loooong time at night.

What about books on tape or cd? Libraries carry them in great volume. My son was a "Thomas the train" kid at that time and most of those books on cd were 20-40 minutes long. They kept his attention and he didn't feel "alone". Also, for siblings near by, recorded stories from another room sound like white noise. Hope you find something to work for you!

Good luck!