My 2.5 year old daughter has become a horrible sleeper. From birth to about 1.5 years old she slept very well, sometimes up to 13 hours at night. Now it is a struggle. It sometimes takes her up to 2 hours to fall asleep, and it seems as though she is trying really hard. Once she sleeps, it is rare for her to sleep through the night. She often wakes up and either comes to our room or goes to the kitchen to "play around", and usually struggles to go back to sleep (this can sometimes be a 2 hour ordeal). We have tried many things.... dark room, night light, no noise, noise machine, letting her read books, no reading, nap during the day, no nap during the day..... She has water next to her bed, she gets plenty of exercise and activity during the day. She seems to constantly be exhausted. It almost seems like she can't "shut down" her mind to fall asleep. Some nights are better than others. Hoping some of you have suggestions that I can try. Is this "normal"?
What time is going to sleep S.? My guess is she probably needs an earlier bedtime. A 2.5 year old child needs to be in bed with lights out by 7pm. If go much past this it is common for children of this age to get their "second wind", making it much more difficult for them to fall asleep.
You've gotten some great advice... I would add 3 things:
1) My ever present... "Is she hungry?" kids in growth spurts FREQUENTLY wake hungry, and it's surprising to me how it doesn't occur to many parents to feed them. For my almost ridiculously big toddler (my family is all over 6' and we at full height at 12) we gave him a giant sippy of hot chocolate made with warm milk right before bed, and then when he woke he'd get another. (During real growth spurts, I'd actually have a whole meal in the fridge ready to be zapped... but most of the time whole milk hot chocolate did the trick).
2) Kids who are overtired almost can't sleep. Try bumping the WHOLE bedtime routine back 1-2 hours. You've got it relatively easy... because she can't tell time yet. :)
3) Another round of teething frequently happens at 2ish. It's a LOT slower, because it's a set of molars coming in. Try a 1/2 to full dose of tylenol right before bed.
First, I would take her to the pediatrician (if you haven't already) and have a full physical done. At least, then you can make sure that nothing physical is going on.
However, as a veteran mom, my instinct tells me that she simply has too many choices available to her other than sleeping. She can play around, come in your room, have a drink of water, etc. When she was in the crib, her mobility options were limited, but now that she is in a big girl bed, her choices seem limitless (to her). My suggestion would be to keep a short nap in the afternoon (no more than 1.5 hrs), eliminate all possible choices (she doesn't need water in her room, put a gate up so she can't wander into your room, put all toys other than one lovey out of reach), and get on a very strict routine (wake up at same time, bed at same time, dinner at same time, bath at same time, etc). Try it for 3 months. Even if she is a "true" insomniac, these things will still help.
I know it seems like "tough love," but as a mom of 6 kids, I know keeping your kids healthy through sleep (and you, too!) is really important.
Good luck!
Lots of 2 year olds do this.... sleep tweaks.
The are changing MEGA... developmentally/physically/cognitively...lots on their plate to deal with. ie: growing pains.
Ditto Riley.
Both my kids did that too. It was a phase, I knew it, they didn't, I rode it out, they went back to their usual routine without me using any "methods." I just kept to their routine. BUT... my kids would have GINORMOUS appetites when they were either growing or changing or hitting milestones.
If you jumble up their usual sleep/nap routine TOO much... it will jumble them up... and it will be hard to get them back INTO a routine or to even sleep/nap at their regular times.
All the best,
Susan
What types of food and drinks does she have in the later afternoon and evening? Now that your toddler gets to eat the same foods as older siblings or her parents, maybe she has a bit too much sugar in her diet. Sometimes even foods that seem good for a young child (apple juice, fresh fruit...) may be giving her a little too much energy before going to bed. Maybe try to cut out some sweet foods or snacks and replace with protein (nutes, cheesesticks...) and see if that helps?
N. - au pair program consultant
http://nprice.aupairnews.com
Did this start when she went to a big girl bed? Could you put her back in the crib? It does sound like she has too much freedom of the house at night. Perhaps if you can't go back to a big girl bed, you could put a childproof knob on her door or a gate. One trip back up for the potty or a hug and then lock her in. Tell her you're going to do it, too.
Have you tried the "sleep rules"? They're in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child, but they are something like: 1)bedtime is (whenever you want) 2)lie down and go to sleep )3 stay in bed all night. You can provide a reward chart if you want.
As a mom to 7, almost 8, I cannot recommend highly enough the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It has answered every sleep issue I have ever encountered with my children, and it walks you step by step through the process of sleep training your children. Saves the whole familys sanity! Good luck.
Read 'Healthy Sleep Habit Happy Child' by Doctor Marc Weissbluth!!!! I would try putting her to bed a LOT earlier than you think.... i.e. 6:00 or 6:30 pm. It might take a few days but it could help a lot! Sleep begats sleep and sleeplessness begats sleeplessness. Your overtired child can suffer from high concentrations of cortisol being produced by her brain which is a stress-related hormone and is linked to extra adrenaline that can make her act wild, edgy, excitable or unable to fall asleep easily or stay asleep; it's a state of being hyperalert. Don't let her stay up later if she gets a nap.... trust me, it doesn't help the situation. At 2 1/2 she should be getting between 13-14 hours of sleep out of every 24 hours. Good luck.
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The first thing that comes to my mind is she having any GI /gut issues. What are her bowel movements like, behaviors.
Another thing is to look into giving 1 mg of Melatonin about an hour before bedtime. It is an antioxidant for the brain and is produced in the body naturally but there are many reasons why someone might not be getting enough. It is the precursor for Serontonin which is the feel good/sleep. My kids have both been taking this and now they are taking a slow release one. It works great for them.
My son was the same way only he has been so since birth. We tried it all, cry it out, walk in every 5 minutes and stretch out the time, stay with him, etc. Yep, had the water in the crib too... all that. He would scream every night for weeks and then stop and be good for a few and then return. For some reason, my husband asked him one night last month if he wanted the door open or closed and he said open. WHAT? Surprisingly, that was it. Even though he would ask for light off, dark please many nights, that darn closed door was it! It doesn't seem to matter how much noise we make either in the house, he seems to find benefit that he can hear us. If we are quiet, he calls out for us but he does stay in his bed. So, basically I can only suggest to keep trying different things that might even seem so simple or crazy. Also, know that you aren't the only person suffering from the stress of putting your child to bed. Good luck!
L. H.
Costa Mesa, CA
is she napping? our son gave up naps around 2... if he naps he's up more.
Are you here in my house??? We are going throught the exact same thing...I can't wait to see the responses...
