Please help. My almost 4 year old doesn't sleep through the night (night terrors, wakes when she needs to pee, ect). In addition my 11 month doesn't sleep. He use to sleep from 13 weeks until about 7 months when the teeth started coming in. NOw he wakes and wants fed, cries, needs consoled. Please give me some advice I am only getting 3 hours of sleep a night and work a full time job. I am grumpy aggravated and mean due to the lack of sleep.
I had completely forgotten about the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. SO I started reading it and last night was day 1 of sleep training. He cried for an hour and then TA-DA...slept all night long. I heard him arouse as he has a cold but no crying in the middle of the night. I know it won't be this easy but it is encouraging. After I fix him I will work on my four year old, potty in the room, gate at the door, and incentive toy on the shelf waiting for the stickers to fill up on the chart. Thanks. Will let you know how week one goes.
Please get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. As a mom of (almost) 8, I have used it for every sleep issue I've ever had, and it's always worked. It covers every sleep issue you can imagine at all different ages, and it has saved my sanity more than once. Walks you through the process step by step and is great to refer back to from time to time. Well worth the investment of about $10. Good luck.
Hi, C.:
I understand your difficulties. Do you have any emotional support for yourself at home?
Gentle Touch Warehouse, Inc. has videos, audio tapes and information about infant Massages.
Look up on the web site about Gentle Touch Warehouse, Inc.
Look up the International Association of Infant Massage, Inc..
Maybe doing massages and getting audio tapes might help.
Good luck. D.
I can so empathise, its a terrible situation to be in, and especially with two you must feel as though this has been going on forever and will never change. It will eventually... but in order to help it along, you've got to get yourself a strategy or two in place.
I found the grumpiness really didn't help, especially if it came out at bedtime. Although its totally understandable I think it helped to get us (everyone is different, so you can decide for yourself) into a vicious cyle. As a result, you need to try and figure out what might help you temporarily to feel slightly less worried and therefore grumpy in order to be able to break the cycle.
Is your partner able to help you out sometimes and give you A) a night off - wear earplugs and sleep on the couch or at a neighbors and B) an evening off, or taking control of one aspect of the bedtime routine so you aren't both having to do battle to convince them to brush teeth etc. as well as waking up?
For the 4 year old, a sticker chart with clear rewards after she's accrued enough stickers - going to a favorite place she likes or getting a new little toy she wants etc... can really help to motivate her to go to the bathroom on her own. If she's still struggling with the toilet, you could always put a potty in her room, and just empty it in the morning - giving her a gold star if she makes it through the night without getting you up. Explaining to her that everyone needs plenty of sleep to be healthy and smart and happy enough, and that if she and her brother can sleep it will benefit them as well as you can also be worth a try.
Also, i found that getting my nearly three year old a 'relaxation' tape from Amazon helped us all a lot - at least at first before he got bored of it. We'd both listen to it in his bedroom, me lying on the floor on the opposite side of the room, and him in his bed. I found it helped me to relax, and perhaps because I was more relaxed, then he was as well.
We're in the middle of getting my son into his own bed after nearly three years in ours (it was the only way we could cope with the sleep issue when he was little) so we do know what its like - total nightmare at times. It will improve if you can help yourself and them feel less stressed, and if you put in place some family strategies that you believe in and can stick to. Good luck!
With the 4 year old I would put a potty and a night light in her room and let her get up and pee in the middle of the night and go back to bed on her own. She doesn't need you to help her out, I don't think ... I guess it just depends. You can tell her that if she wakes up, she can just go back to bed. If she gets you in the middle of the night, you may need to put a gate on the door. As for the little one, I would give him Tylenol and lots of care. Don't feed him in the middle of the night, it will be hard not to do. Maybe you can give him a little water, but if you feed him you start a habit of feeding in the middle of the night, when you should be moving away from that. He will cry for a while, but just rub his back, sing to him, etc. There will be lots of crying the first week, I'm sure, but habits are hard to break and it will be relief in the end. Start on a Thursday and you'll have the weekend to take naps if needed. Good luck!
