Sleep Help Please! - Irvine,CA

Hi A.,

My DD has been a terrible sleeper from day one. Are you a SAHM? If yes, first thing that will help is to nap during the day when he does. Even if it's for half an hour it will help recharge your batteries! You can probably list the million and one things you need/want to get done while he sleeps but it can wait.

We did the cry it out method for a few weeks and our DD is so stubborn (even at 3 months) that she would keep crying past the point where I was in tears. Our pediatrician suggest putting a second monitor in our room so that the baby could hear us when she woke. Also I put a small fan in the corner of her room and the sound was soothing and helped her drift off. She had severe acid reflux and her ped suggested plain baby oatmeal right before bed so that her tummy was full with something soothing. That seemed to help.

Good luck! This will pass!! Our first Halloween I didn't have to dress up, I already felt and looked like a zombie : > It will pass!! Our DD is now sleeping through the night unless she's sick. Hang in there!!

Well.... at 6 months old, that was a growth-spurt time. Which means, they get hungrier and feed more often and increase in intake.

Per our Pediatrician... for the 1st year of life, a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition is from breastmilk/Formula... NOT solids and not other liquids.
And to feed on-demand.
A hungry baby, is hungry. Can't sleep.

Or they are teething....

AND at the same time... at this age, they are developmentally changing a ton... in terms of cognition and motor skills. So, these developmental based things, wakes them too. Or, when they hit milestones of rolling-over, sitting-up, pulling-up and standing, these things wakes them too. Because they will do it when they are supposed to be sleeping... but it is an instinct in them to do these things, because they are 'practicing' these newly attained skills. And... they do NOT know how, to get themselves back into a lying-down sleep position, by themselves. Because their motor coordination, is not yet, 'mastered' yet. So they wake. And you need to help them lie back down again. It is a developmental phase....

I would see if he is teething... and/or hungry.

Or, have your Husband feed him, with pumped milk in a bottle.

Just so you know... not all babies, at this age, sleep all night.
My kids, exclusively breastfed, woke at night as babies.... about every 2-3 hours. I fed them. They, as they matured and got older, just naturally slept longer.

Also, make sure your baby is napping during the day. At this age... they typically nap 3 times a day. Over-tired babies, actually do not sleep better... they sleep worse, and wake more.
Babies, get tired, after about 2 hours of being awake....

My son is now 3.5 and does sleep thru the night....there IS hope! I remember feeling exactly like you do. It's stressful when you aren't getting sleep and when you are trying everything but nothing works. Like you co-sleeping wasn't very good for me. I did have him in bed with me a few times when he was really sick but it wasn't a long term solution for us either. My first question is always does he always cry when he's on his back? If he cries while on his back during a diaper change he may have fluid or infection in his ears. We had this problem and my son went months before we realized what was going on.
I also didn't find the 'cry it out' deal worked at all. My guy would cry forever so it made me crazy! I did find that if I would wait a little longer before I went in to soothe him that he did try to soothe himself and could even go back to sleep without me some of the time. I also stopped feeding him each time he woke. Over time we worked our way to only 1 or 2 wake up fits a night. A little after he turned 2 out of no where it just stopped. He started sleeping thru the night really well. A few times he'd wake with bad dreams but very infrequently. Everybody I knew gave me advice and NOBODY said the same thing. There's really no 'right' way to do it. The right way is whatever works for you and baby. You MUST sleep and if you are anticipating getting up 3 times before you even get into your bed the anxiety can really take it's toll. I asked for help...I felt like a total wuss, awful mom, and really beat myself up for not being able to do it on my own. I had my mother, MIL, or one of my sisters come over at least once a month to take TOTAL control for the night. I breastfed so I'd pump. I turned off the monitor and got in bed with my husband and watched TV knowing that I was free. I was really amazed at the relief it gave me just getting one nights break. It didn't work to have my husband do it because I didn't get to totally disconnect. Not sleeping enough can be a really big deal and a lot of doctors don't really address it. I had ppd. I expected to because I have clinical depression. My doc and I had discussed it before my son was even born. I didn't recognize the symptoms at first because I was blaming everything on the sleeping problems. Turns out the combination of both had taken over. I couldn't see the depression because of my whole universe revolved around being tired. Have a friend or family member give you a whole night off from 8:00p to 8:00a and see how you're feeling. Your baby will eventually sleep thru the night so it's just a matter of making the best choices for YOU. Try the different ideas you get from other moms but know that you can put together a routine that works for you. It's so easy to be short sighted when you're feeling this way. You can't do anything 'wrong' that will affect your child's life in the long run. It's not a big deal no matter what you try. Do what will make you a happy mommy. You can't really ruin their lives till they're teenagers anyway!! If nothing works just remind yourself every time you drag yourself out of bed at 2:00am that it won't last forever and you can tough it out. I hope the best for you. I remember what a hard time it was for me but I did get thru without going totally nuts and so can you.

I'll cop to crying it out! My first just slept through at 6 months and we never looked back but my 2nd was like yours up all night and I was losing my sanity. I finally decided to really try CIO. I shut his door and went to bed. The first night he cried for 20 min. once and then off and on a few other times but never for very long. The next for about 10 min at around 3 am and then not at all after that. It did take about a week and then he was sleeping through. I will say he's never been like my first, he'll sleep through about 4 nights a week and then 3 nights he'll usually wake. But when he does I don't have to go to him or if I do I just give him a binkie and leave and he's fine. Its not perfect but its better than it was and I would challenge anyone on this planet who tells me that trading 20 min of crying for my own sanity was not worth it. It was definitely worth it. Good luck, sleep deprivation is the worst!

Couple of things....
When he wakes in the middle of the night to nurse, is it effective nursing? Or does he nurse for a few minutes and then fall back asleep? If it's effective nursing, meaning he's actively nursing for at least 10 minutes, he's hungry. He needs to eat. He could be going through a growth spurt. If he's only nursing for comfort, then you know that he's not hungry and isn't starving to death (that was ALWAYS a fear for me. I didn't want my kids to be starving and me not know it.)
Second of all...Kids aren't robots. They don't all do the same things at the same time. I don't know where on Earth these doctor's get their research, but not all babies (in fact very few in my personal experience) sleep through the night at this age. It's just a part of life. No, it doesn't make it any easier. No, it doesn't make you any less exhausted during the day.
Third of all...If he's screaming for an hour, he's trying to tell you something. Imagine if the only way that you had to communicate was through your cries. How would you feel if you tried to express your needs through crying and you were ignored? He's not old enough to try and manipulate you yet. He just wants to be close to someone. Do you and your husband share the same bed? Do you feel more secure when he's in bed with you? Why wouldn't our babies want to feel that same comfort?
You might want to consider finding him a lovey. Something he can snuggle with at night so he doesn't feel so alone. I know a lot of people are going to say never put anything in a babies crib. I'm not talking about a big thick huge blanket. My mom made my girls the softest most snuggly blankets. She crocheted them out of baby yard. The holes are big enough that if they were to pull it over their heads, they can still breath and the yarn is super soft. They also make the little blanket with the animals attached. Most of them are silky and snuggly.
Other than that, I would suggest to just ride it out. This too shall pass.

I had no stomach to let my little one cry it out. I'm not sure where I got this from...but I started by telling everyone in the family the plan. It 's going to take us a couple of nights but here's what worked for us:

I would set a timer, let my daughter cry for two minutes, go in pat her back, leave for 5 minutes, come in and pat her back, leave her for 10 minutes and come in and pat her back. I had to have a timer and I had to steel myself to do this, but it worked. By the end of the 10 minutes she usually was asleep, one time I had to do it a second 10 minutes. I couldn't bear to let her cry for a 20 minute stretch so the longest I waited was 10 minutes before I went in and gave her comfort. This may have come from the baby whisperer book.

Good luck!

I just wanted to add this to the discussion: he's on a reflux medication. Could it be that his issue isn't reflux, but an allergy to something you are eating? Many doctors are quick to diagnose reflux instead of figuring out the source of the problem. Many times its the milk and/or soy in a breastfeeding mom's diet that causes the problem. It could be what is causing him to awaken so much.

Besides that, make sure you aren't anemic and getting to bed at a reasonable time, eating properly and exercising.

Hello A.,
My heart goes out to you and I know personally how you feel - I lived it with my first born. The good news is that he could be sleeping 10 to 12 hours every single night in a short period of time. I would recommend saying good bye to the pacifier and trying some new strategies. I get Mamapedia to reach out to Moms like you to let you know that there is professional help out there. For some more FREE advice, please visit my website and look for the 5 easy steps. I also offer a FREE 15 minute telephone consultation, simply call the number below.
Sleep Well,
P.
www.sleepsense.net/kelowna
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Have you thought about increasing his daily intake of solids/breastmilk so he doesn't need to be fed during the night? I'm a first time mom of a 7 month old, so I am far from a pro :) But, I can tell you that through the advice of other moms we started feeding our daughter 3 solid meals a day about 2 weeks ago. On top of that, she eats (4) 6oz bottles per day. She sleeps from 8pm til 7am every night and has been that way for months.
Good luck! Sleep deprivation is the worst!

Hi A..
Read the Dr. Weisbluth book, Healthy Sleep, happy child. I read it cover to cover and my bf son was sleeping from 6:30-2, nursing and then from 2:30-7, since he was 5 months. At 9 months I weaned him of the 2am feeding, and he was sleeping 6:30-6:30. he is now 19 months and a great sleeper.

We did a modified cry it out. You do what works best for your family. Send me a privatre message if you want more info. Good luck.
S.