Sleep - Riverside,CA

I have a 3 year old little girl Abbey and it is nearly impossible to get her to take a nap. Without a nap she will usually go to bed around 7-7:30.. good luck every child is different, I guess just try to stick to a schedule...

Hello single mommy... I am a single mom with a 2 year old. In my opinion, 8PM is great - I aim for as early as I can, because while I enjoy spending time with the babe, I also enjoy my little time to myself after working all day...

Feel free to message or email me with other single mom talk - I haven't met many other single moms, and sometimes it is good to have someone else to talk to!

Good luck with the sleeping!

Hey A.. All 3 of my kids stopped napping at around that time(3 yrs.) They would nap once in a while, but it wasn't a regular thing. I did put them to bed at 8 every night though. It was tough for the first few nights, but then they get used to it. I would have to go back to their rooms a few times because they would cry and ask for stuff like water because they weren't used to having a set bedtime, but it only took a few days for them to get with the program :) I wouldn't worry too much about the naps. Some kids just don't nap. I think that if you put her to bed at 8, she will get enough sleep.

I got the following information from ParentCenter.com.

Every child is different; some need more sleep and some less, but the general guidelines for how many hours of sleep a 3 year old child needs on average each day is:

For age 3 years:
Nighttime sleep: 10.5 to 12.5 hours
Daytime sleep: 1 to 3 hours (1 nap)
Average total sleep: 11 to 14 hours

Keep in mind that most kids need a lot of sleep - usually more than parents allow for.

My three year old has pretty much given up naps, she has a quiet time but normally does not sleep. If she happens to fall asleep I do not let her sleep more than an hour so she is always back in bed between 7-7:30 pm. Whatever works for you is best, though I would probably not let it go later than 8:00pm, but everyone is different.

My daughter just turned 3...here's her schedule:
Into bed at 8:30pm (she usually falls asleep at about 9), she usually wakes at 7am, naptime at 1pm for about 1.5-2 hours (tho she's been known to sleep 3 hours if she's growing).
Our plan had always been to get our kids to bed by 8pm, but it just doesn't work for this little girl. She'll just play in her room if we put her down before 8:30.

Hi there.

My son will be three next month and he goes to bed at 830p...we both work so getting him in bed any earlier at this point feels like an impossibility! He normally gets up between 630a-730a depending on if it's a weekend or weekday.

He takes about a 2-3 hour nap each afternoon...most of the time they're two hours. He's a crabby child if there isn't a nap and I LOVE them! I plan to have him take a nap as long as he needs them!

-M

Hi A., my son is 15 months old and I haven't had the experience yet with a child your daughter's age, so my advice is going to be based solely on what I've read (I wanted to preface that because I know real life experience is sometimes more valuable than a book).

According to "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" it is more often than not that children start to lose their nap at age three. It does seem curious though that she would wake up at 4:45 when going to bed at 8. It could possibly be that she's overtired from losing her nap and not sleeping well because of it. If that's the case, maybe it's best to go back to trying a nap again until she's better rested. Even as an adult, I don't think I could stay awake until 8pm if I were up at 4:45 am every day! And if I did, it would start to wear on me really quickly. Good luck!

What's most important is looking at the total number of hours your child is getting. At 3yo, they need 10-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. And, whether they get it all at night or not, they still need "down time" during the day. My son slept 10-11 hours at night and still took a 2.5-3 hour nap each day until he was 4 1/2. My 3 year old daughter, however, sleeps 10-12 hours at night, but does not nap during the day. She won't fall asleep and if she did, she'd be awake at night until 11pm. But, we still have "down time"/"quiet time" for an hour each day just to recharge. Also, my kids go to bed at 8pm. I've read that it's critical to get them to bed by that time and I've always stuck with it. Sometimes, I put them to bed earlier and they still wake up at the same time each morning.

8:00 p.m. is perfectly fine. My girl has been going to bed at that time since toddler-hood. She is now 5 years old. Sometimes she will sleep at 8:30.

As for naps... yes it is very beneficial for them to nap. BUT at this age they usually resist it, even though they are tired and you can see the bags under their eyes. That's how my daughter was. But I kept up with having a "nap"... or at least a "quiet time."

Napping for my daughter during toddler-hood varied, and changed as she changed. But now, she is 5 years old, and STILL naps, after she gets home from school. She has even told me "I like to nap..." and she will just put herself in her bed and nap. It's no longer a struggle to get her to nap. She is so tired after a whole day of school...that now, she "knows" she needs to rest otherwise she gets so darn fussy. She now knows herself well enough to know when she needs to rest.

So, keeping up with a nap "habit" has been beneficial for her... and me, in the long run. She is much happier after a good rest. AND she still goes to bed at the same time at night. In my daughter's case, it does not interfere with her regular bedtime. And she wakes up about 6:30-7:00 in the morning.

Each child will vary in how long they nap or if they nap.
Sleep deprivation in kids results in fussy/tired/grumpy and unfocused behavior. It really defeats their usual happy self's.
But again, it's not always easy putting a 3 year old to nap. But just try, it is beneficial. And if they get used the "habit" of it, it really helps their moods and whatnot.

Here are some links for information:
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/childrensl...
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&a...

Each child is different though. Some kids can make it through the day just fine without a nap. Some can't and will get fussy. My girl is that type. Thus, I have really kept up with a nap habit through the years, and it has really benefited her.

Good luck, I hope this helps,
~Susan

I have a 3 year old grandaughter. She takes a 2 to 3 hour nap. She also goes to bed about 8:00. You can tell shen she's getting tired which is about 7:30 she starts to get grouchy, so it's bath time and they read her a book and she's off to sleep for the night. I believe she's up by 6. I know her nap time is about 1 pm. Of course they are some days when schedule can change and maybe only takes a short nap if goes down later. She is very smart, happy and well adjusted.

I feel they need naps as long as they will take them. It's very healthy and i always let mine sleep as long as they wanted.i know sometimes you think it will interfer with bedtime at night. But it really doesn't when you have them on a schedule. If mine didn't get their naps, by 5:00 they were getting very grouchy and often had to put them to bed by 6:30 or so.

I hope you'll get some good advice on this. When possible naptime is a good time for mommy to read or rest or also take a short nap.

I just feel kid's are healthier and happier when they nap. They really do need it when they are growing. They also know how many hours of sleep they need.

Hi A. -

I'm a 47 yr. old mom with kids ages 28,22,9,8. I've also done some mother mentoring with single young moms - not that I know everything but this is what I do.

I think kids should be taking a nap until they're 5 at least, sometimes they nap at school when they're 5 or it turns into taking a rest. When you sleep your body heals and little ones can get really tired out. Usually they'll pass right out. You might have to lie down with them until they go to sleep or one of mine I just laid down, said nite nite and she rolled over and went to sleep.

I think they should be going to bed earlier more like 7 pm. at 3 yrs. old. They might even take a 2 hour nap. Longer nap = later bedtime. They need more sleep than you think, even with my 8 and 9 year old they really need 10 hrs. of sleep a night...it seems like alot, but kids need it. Don't give her anything with sugar for at least 2 hours before bed so she goes to sleep.

Hope this helps,
J.

Hey A.,

Yes, three year old still need naps and "yes" a hour is plenty......at three my kids were in bed and asleep by 8:00 and so your right on the money!!

Good Luck

V.

We put my son (3.5 yo) in bed at 730pm. He will fall asleep by himself anywhere from 8 pm to about 9pm and he gets up around 7am. He still naps every other day or so, depending on what's happening that day and how tired he is. If I let him, he can nap for 3-4 hours. I am trying to keep his naps for 1.5 hours in the middle of the day, because otherwise a longer nap interrupts his nighttime sleep (he will fall asleep around 10pm if he takes too long of a nap).

Many kids by age 3 no longer need naps. My son definitely needs a nap every other day or so. If you DD only takes a 1 hour nap, and she gets up rested, then that's all she needs.

You might want to read through the book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy CHild". I got some good tips from it.

3 year olds generally need 11 - 13 hours of sleep every 24 hours. Some will still nap (mine did until they were 4). Others will not. The time you put them to bed, really depends upon what time you need them to wake up in the morning and if she is still napping. However, setting a consistent bed time will be just as good for you, as it is for her -- so you can have some peace and quiet in the evenings.

Hi A., I think most 3 year olds nap, and i believe naps are good for them, 8 sounds like a good bed time, but don't just have her go to bed, say your prayers tuck her in and read her a story, make bed time pleasent. J.

It's not really about the "time" as it is the "sleep". I work, so mine didn't go to bed until 9pm so that I had more time with her. But she wouldn't wake until 7 or 8am and took 2+ hour long naps. So, she was getting plenty of sleep. Once she started kindergarten and had to get up earlier plus lost the nap time, we had to put her to bed at 8pm. But I know moms who are home all day with their kids and they put them to bed at 7pm. So just make sure she gets all the sleep she needs.

I think 8 pm is a fine time to go to bed. My 3 year old goes to bed at 7, but he does not fall asleep immediately and you have to do what works best for your family. I think a 3 year old needs about 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, but I could be wrong so you may want to check with the "experts." I still have my 3 year old take a nap and I plan to have naptime or "quiet" time until he starts school. Occassionally, he does not sleep during nap time, but I think we both still need the down time, and he just stays in bed looking at a book or toys. Whatever you do, my children have thrived on a consistent routine, same schedule everyday (with necessary variations when they're sick) and I provide plenty of opportunity for them to get the sleep they need, whether they use all of the time for sleep or not, and it's worked out pretty well for us.

There is so much variability in this answer!!! It all depends upon your lifestyle. My oldest daughter took a three hour nap every day at 3 yrs and then she would stay up until 10pm, sleep until 7am. My second child gave up her nap at 2 1/2 and will sleep from 7:30pm to 6am. It depends on if you want her to nap in the daytime (do you need that break??) or would you rather tough it out for the last couple of hours each day - she will be cranky - and then she will sleep at 7pm! Do you want to wake her from a nap (again, cranky) or do you want her to sleep as long as she wants? I really don't think you can mess it up, your child will also have her own natural rhythm, she may be a night person and like to sleep late in the morning. When she goes to preschool, you will have much less flexibility, so just make sure she gets the required number of hours, and work the naps in around your schedule or her natural preferences. I think it is important to establish a routine, however, and do the same thing every day once you decide how to do it.

They need twelve-fourteen hours of combined sleep a day. There is a lot of research that shows napping till age five is beneficial to brain growth and development and of course it is great for mom's sanity as well. Even if your daughter only naps an hour it is better than not at all. My son has only napped an hour and fifteen minutes since he was two but he still naps for that same length and he is almost five. My three year old naps about 2 1/2 hours and always has. I truly believe some children need more sleep than others. You know if your child is getting enough sleep because they are cranky!!

Our general rule of thumb around here is if our children don't nap they need to go to bed between 7:30-8pm and if they got a good nap in then they go to bed at 9pm.

Hi-

At age 3, for both my kids their bedtime was 7:00. My daughter started getting rid of her naps at that point, which was a bummer because I had a newborn at home, and my son still took short naps while we were driving.

They still need 12-14 hrs of sleep whether it's an hour nap and 13 hr at night...

A.,

My kids stopped taking naps at 18 months. It is okay for your child to not take naps, although, it is nice to have a break. If you child does not take a nap, you might even be able to get her to bed by 7:30. See how she acts and take it from there.

J.

Hi A.,
I think a young childs sleep time depends on you. I was a single mom with my first and I worked in the resturant buisness- dinner. There foremy son went to bed around 10 or 11pm. Then we slept in together until 10am and we always napped.
I agree with all the responses about children needing lots of sleep. My son is 9 now and still goes to bed around 8pm (sleeps til 7:30am)- which is the time we started when he started school.
What time does she need to be awake? I say put her down 11 hours before- if this gives you enough time together.

My almost 3-year-old's bedtime depends on whether or not he's napped that day. Napping happens once in a while now (in a good stretch, 3-4x/wk; on a bad stretch, no nap in like 2 weeks). I put him down at 1:30 for a nap. If he naps, I wake him up like 3:30, and he'll go to bed like 7:45, close to 8:00. If no nap, 7:00 or 7:15, depending on his mood. It's a tough time because the naps are iffy. If your kid naps for one hour, that's great! Also depends on your kid. My kid definitely needs 12-14 hours of sleep to be happy, no meltdowns, and to function well. Good luck!

Hi A.. Each child is so different and their sleeping needs range from child to child. My son stopped napping around 4 years old. When I would put him down for a nap, it would be a toss up if he would sleep or not sleep, so I decided to have him stop napping and put him down a little earlier at night.(8pm) I have other friends, though, that their children stopped napping around 3 years old, so I guess it depends on if you think your child needs it and if it's starting to interfere with their night time sleep? We have rest time now, since his little sister is still napping. He either watches a movie, looks at books, or draws. It's our quiet time. :) Hope you figure out what your little girl needs. You'll do great. Good luck. :)

I put my 5 years old and 3 years old to bed at 8 pm. My 3 years old doesn't want to take a nap. But sometimes if she was too tired she's just went to her bed without fuss. I gives her good 1 hour rest and wakes her up, otherwise it will ruin my 8 pm routine.

A., I believe that everyone needs a diffrent amount of sleep. That is why we have early birds and Night hawks. My oldest sister only needs 4 to 5 hours and she's up cleaning before anyone. As for me I need a good 8 but that doesn't happen because I'm a working mother. Try her at 8 pm and see if she will sleep at that time and see when she wakes up. As for naps, if she only sleeps an hour that's most likely all she needs, she'll stop taking naps when she is ready. Go with what works for the 2 of you. Good Luck! J.

Hi A.,
The guidelines for children your daughter's age is 11 to 14 hours per day still. So if you break that up between a nap and night sleep, does this sound right for your daughter already?

I think the key with naps is to have a calm lunch, then put your daughter for quiet time soon after, don't let her amp it up again, then try to put her down later... The key to getting them to bed in the evening is the same: don't get them all cranked up again before bed! Have a steady calm routine, read with them, talk about the day, talk about your dreams, and keep them in bed once they are in bed! Kids get used to things so fast (positive or negative), as long as they know there are no exceptions. YOU will benefit as well as your daughter.

Naps also help break up the day. Make sure she gets plenty of high intensity exercise (running, playground play, swimming, climbing, jumping, biking,...) in the morning, a healthy lunch, read her a short story for quiet time/nap time, then get her back up by 3/ 3:30 at the latest if you mean for her to get back in bed by 8pm. This gives plenty of time for some more high intensity playing in the afternoon. High intensity play is important for their physical development, coordination, lung development, but also the children are much calmer when they are done: the result of all those beneficial calming hormones running through their body. She should be plenty wiped out to go to bed at night also, with all that fresh air and exercise. This kind of play also sets the stage to stay active throughout childhood, and into adulthood.

Growing pains are common, play can actually alleviate them, if only because she is not thinking about it when she's having fun, and she will sleep more soundly after the exercise. Many children also sleep longer when they had growing stretches.

Keep in mind that naps are a healthy break for all humans. We are the only mammals in the animal kingdom who do not nap during the day! The Mediterranean Europeans had it right: until recently, they closed down shop from 2pm to 4 or 5 pm to go home, have a good lunch, rest for a couple hours, then go back and reopen the shop until 8pm. We Anglo-Saxons have ruined this tradition for them! And thanks to instant-communications technology, they can no longer sleep!

Also, how many times have you experienced that 5 to 7pm meltdown either with your daughter or a friend's, you know the one at the supermarket, or the diner in the next booth? It's plainly a sign the child is exhausted! Give them a good nap/quiet time/down time, a good dose of play, and this is much less likely to occur.

Take care, enjoy your beautiful daughter.

In friendship and support,
V.

My son and daughter are both 3 years old and go to sleep about 7:30. (Your daughter's 8:00 bedtime seems reasonable.) They stopped napping about 2-3 months ago (maybe longer). I prefer mine not napping, since it really would alter their ability to go to bed at night. However, my older son still napped until 4. I would limit her naptime to no longer than an hour if it effects her ability to go to bed in the evening. For me, even though no nap could be tiring for me, it makes for an easy and early bedtime for my kids!

When I was a stay home Mom my husband worked a swing shift and would get home around 11pm. we would watch a little tv, and talk a bit. I would put my son to bed about 12. This is because my husband and would sleep in later than most people do because of his work schedule. Anyhow. my point is that you should put your son to bed about 10 hours before you want him to get up. Plus, when my son was 3 he slept that 10 hours a night, and some days he didn't need to nap. I always made him lay down and rest in the middle of the day, but don't stress it if they don't fall asleep. Hope that helps.

A three year old should be going to bed around 8:00 and getting up around 6:30 or 7:00. She should also be taking about a 1 1/2 to two hour nap in the middle of the day. :)

My Son is almost 3 he takes an 1 to 1 1/2 naps and we put him to bed at 8 he usually falls asleep by 8:15. My 4 yr old doesn't nap and is out pretty quickly once he goes to bed @ 8, but if he has a nap he doesn't usually go to sleep until later. I have heard alot of kids who stop naps at 2ish. Good luck :)

I have read that children need AT LEAST 10 hours of sleep each night. As far as the naps go, it depends on the child. My daughter was no longer needed it by 3 1/2. My two boys however, needed them for a lot longer than that. One of them could have used them when in Kindergarten and at times would take one over the weekend. It depends on your child. I think in general, girls progresssion out of this is more accelerated than boys. If your daughter doesn't seem tired mid-day and doesn't get cranky around dinner time - she probably doesn't need it at all then. She may have days where she does though. Also, 8p.m. is a good time but it also depends on what time she gets up in the a.m.? My kids were always early risers (up by 6:30a - 7a.m.) - with the 8p.m. bedtime. I hope this helps. God Bless!

8.p.m. is a great time to put kids down at nighttime. And I think that a nap of 2 hours for a 3 year old is perfectly fine. If all she needs is an hour and wakes up, then so be it. But I believe that not all kids need naps but most function best when they do. And naps should not be close to bed time.....it will be unfair for your child to be expected to go to bed at eight when their nap time is 4between 3 and 7p.m.

I have 3 children, my oldest never took naps but I would give him quiet time in his room while my others were sleeping. Only once per day and it would be either before lunch or shortly after. Every child is different and unique, don't expect what might work for one will for the other. Hope this helps.

I think naps are necessary for kids, but each kid is different. If your son seems to get irritable, he may need some extra time to nap. 8:00pm sounds reasonable as a bed time. Your son will get as much sleep as he needs so you don't really have to worry about it. Just check his mood at certain times during the day. If he's grouchy mid-day, put him down for a nap. If he's fine, he probably doesn't need one and may get all the sleep he needs at night.

My 3 and 5 year olds go to bed by 8 every night and are usually up by 6am. They both take naps every day as well. My daughter (5 year old) doesn't "need" it to make it through the day but almost always falls asleep when I lay my son down. She will sleep about an hour, he will sleep on a good day about 2-3.5 hours.

If your 3yo still wants/needs to take naps, then keep them going!
M.

Hi A.,
I have twins that are three years old. We put them to bed at 8:00pm. Most of the time they fall to sleep right away, and other time we can hear them playing until about 9:30, or until we go in and put them back to bed. They usually wake up at about 7:30am. They have not taken naps since they were about 2 years old. We tried for a while to keep them up later, but they still get up at the same time no matter what, so we figured a few more hours to our selves at night was better than trying to keep them up. You could try putting her to sleep later I know that it has worked for others. I don't know how your morning schedule works, but if she gets up way too early you could try putting on a cartoon and catching a few more winks on the couch. I know I can squeeze in a little more sleep that way. Hope it helps.

L.

My kids are 5, 3, and 1 and they all go down at 8pm. They also all still lay down for a nap in the afternoon. The older ones lay and look at books and sometimes fall asleep. I think they need the quiet time even if they don't actually sleep, otherwise they end up VERY cranky. It varies from between 1-2 hrs depending on their morning activities. The baby sleeps 2 hours so quiet time is that long whether they're laying down or not. According to our ped, the kids grow out of the 2 hr nap between 3 and 4.