Single Parent Traditions

I basically developed my own Thanksgiving tradition when I moved 1000 miles away from my parents/relatives and it wasn't worth traveling to visit them during the short Thanksgiving break. A friend and I developed the custom of inviting a group of friends (also waifs away from family, as I thought of it). Each person brought a dish; when I was growing up, we always had Thanksgiving at my aunt's house, so my mother never made any of the traditional foods. As well, I stopped eating meat in college, so making a turkey was quite out of the question. I made stuffed acorn squash for the main dish and the guests brought what they wanted. We still try to have Thanksgiving with friends to this day because it just seems most meaningful to me. About traditions, I know several families who play board games together after the meal. It's a fun, comfortable way to hang out. Anyway, good luck with it!

Even though I had a rough childhood and very little family nearby I developed some traditions early on. I always baked cookies with my kids when they were little, and we packed them up and gave them away to friends, family, neighbors, etc. We decorated the tree together. We usually went to a Christmas program at a local church (mostly for the music, I'm not religious.) We got the Playmobil advent calendar every year. Sometimes we drove around certain neighborhoods that had really good decorations. When they were older I took them to a few holiday plays and The Nutcracker. We used to belong to a club that put on a big fancy buffet so we always dressed up and went to that.
Even though I was married for many years I did most of those things on my own with my kids. My (now ex) husband wasn't really into most of it.
Just do things with your kids that you really enjoy and want to share.

When I was growing up, our nearest relatives were my mom's parents, who lived 7 hours away (my dad's parents were a 4 hour plane ride away). Thanksgiving was just our immediate family. My mom made a traditional dinner, and I think my brother and sister and I just vegged out :-) As we got older we helped her.

Christmas was spent at my grandparent's house. We had our "Christmas" the night before we drove there, so my dad always asked Santa to come early to our house.

Traditions can be anything. The can be watching the Macy's Parade on tv every year or taking a walk around the neighborhood after dinner. Maybe you watch a Christmas movie everything Thanksgiving in the evening - or even teh same movie (some people do that). When I came home from college, my brother and sister and I would often go to a movie on Black Friday.

If you don't really cook, don't! There are restaurants open on Thanksgiving and on Christmas. You can make that a tradition. You could order take out or order food from your grocery store. You could just have regular food that day and bake cookies or pies.

Try not to get too overwhelmed with the idea of "I have to come up with a good tradition." You can pick pretty much whatever you want. It can be just you and the kids or you can do something with family.

Also, consider taking the kids and volunteering at a soup kitchen (if they are old enough) or going to a nursing home and playing games with some of the residents. Even just visiting with some of them would be a huge gift. You could find out if your local church is doing anything. Maybe call a nursing home ahead of time and ask if there are some residents who would appreciate visitors.

Try not to be overwhelmed! Just spending time with your kids is huge!!!

Every holiday is what you make it - and it can be very different from what everyone else does.
What we do for Christmas Eve is to get some warm cider or hot chocolate and drive around to look at neighborhood light displays.
When we lived near a neighborhood that totally went into overdrive for it we use to walk it and enjoy and snow or cold along with the lights and then go home and get ready for bed.
We've done tree trimming at different times.
Sometimes a day or two before Christmas - and this year we're doing it at Thanksgiving since our son is home from college for it (and it would be rushed when he gets home for winter break after exams).
My Mom never cooked a Thanksgiving dinner.
My sister likes to travel to visit friends and I cook a turkey for myself, Hubby and son.
We love leftovers!
We also love watching all the classic Christmas movies leading up to Christmas.
What ever you do - have fun with it!

Many things can create fond memories of childhood. I think sometimes the idea of "creating traditions" can sound a bit overwhelming. But even the simplest things can have a funny way of becoming "traditions".

As the posts below say, think about things that fit your interests and your childrens' ages/schedules. Can you watch holiday movies together, play board games, bake cookies, see holiday decorations in your neighborhood? Can you include your children in cooking Thanksgiving dinner by having them help you roll dough or measure ingredients?

If you celebrate Christmas, one "tradition" that can also be practical is the idea of gifting a new pair of pajamas to each child (and each adult) on Christmas Eve. Everyone can then have photos taken in their new pajamas on Christmas morning.

Take them to a convalescent home and take a pair of warm socks to each resident you visit. You can buy a bag of socks for about $10 and get about 10 pair of socks at a dollar store.

I did this with my children after we moved away from our home state and family.

I'm sorry you are going through all this, but I think it's wonderful that you are determined to create memories!

Some Thanksgiving ideas:
- everyone helps make the stuffing. Little kids can tear stale bread into pieces in a big bowl. It's a good way to use up the leftover bread - I always seem to have a few ends of this loaf or that loaf in the freezer, along with leftover hamburger or hot dog buns we won't use until the weather is warm again! We add apples and celery that I soften up in a frying pan in some butter - older kids can help with that. I chop up some parsley and some pecans, and then add some sage and thyme. Mix together, moisten with apple cider, bake in a casserole.
- make turkey shapes out of construction paper and make tail feathers out of different colors. Put them on a bulletin board or tape them to the windows. Magazines often contain a "pattern" but the internet and craft stores are your friends as well! Buy cheap construction paper at the dollar store. Each child thinks up who and what they are grateful for, and they write each one on a tail feather (you help the littlest ones) and add those to the turkey. You can start the week ahead and just add to it little by little. Every time a kid says they like something, you can say, "Oh you can put that one on your turkey feather!" Suggestions can include friends, Grandma, Mommy, food to eat, a warm house, the cat/dog/goldfish, Legos, anything. Seeing a turkey with an ever-growing array of gratitude feathers is a great mood booster.
- I grew up with a mother who was not a great cook, so I had to learn as an adult. Turkey is easy, but if you have a small family, just get a turkey breast. If you don't want to deal with carving, just buy some turkey cutlets or boneless pieces and roast. Buy gravy in the jar - it's okay! Bake a few potatoes and either bake or mash. Make a simple cornbread - kids can help with this.

Christmas:
- do the same thing with the turkey feathers but use a construction paper Chrismas tree and make paper "ornaments" of things they are grateful for.
- Make paper chains for the tree.
- My stepdaughter does a 24-day count-down for her kids. Instead of a gift every day, though, they get things like a Christmas candy/Hershey's kiss, a coupon for a game of their choice with Mom, a slumber party, a "picnic dinner" in front of the TV with a big sheet on the ground, a trip to the library to pick out seasonal books, maybe $1 two-three times during the month, and so on.
- Make pine cone bird feeders with peanut butter and then rolled in bird seed.
- buy one family gift each year that promotes togetherness - a holiday book, a board game, a family Christmas ornament.
- make your own ornaments - easy and cheap with craft store finds. I've made the ones that look quilted using just foam balls, remnants of calico prints, some ribbon or rickrack, and a flat head screwdriver. If interested, let me know and I'll give you instructions.
- do something for someone else. Have the kids sort through toys and clothes in good shape but no longer their size or interest. Make it a family project to donate them somewhere, like a shelter - and take the kids with you so they participate. This doesn't have to be done until after Christmas but it does offset the "Season of Getting" with an actual "Season of Giving."

Some of our extended family does Christmas, but we celebrate Hanukkah. I have tons of customs for that if it applies to you.

Year-round:
- Food pantry drives are big through the fall (scouts, letter carriers and many groups do them) but the pantries need food all year and most especially in the summer when kids are home and there are no school lunches. So a couple of times per year, organize your kids to do a drive for the local pantry, and make sure they go with you to deliver it. Pantry volunteers will often show your children how they organize food and make it obvious to kids that, no matter how little they think they have, others have less. You don't have to fund this yourself - your kids could make flyers and distribute them to neighbors, asking for participation. Put a collection box or a big cooler outside so people can drop off at their convenience. Pantries will give you a wish list if you ask.
- if you give your kids an allowance, start them early with learning to divide that money into
categories for "spend" and "save" and "donate" - we were big on that so our son wasn't always nagging us for $5 for this and $5 for that. He learned, over time, to prioritize his spending and not require instant gratification all the time. The "donate" money was used for the food collection or other things. Once he gave to a Jewish cemetery that had been desecrated, another time he gave to the local AIDS group, and so on. Help them learn to choose charities carefully.
- Earth Day clean-up if your town sponsors one.

We always did cheap activities like nature walks. Give each kid a bucket and let them collect interesting things. You can google how to do leaf stencil paintings, or they can wash and paint cool rocks to give as paperweights to relatives.

Fall - go apple picking as a family. Summer - go raspberry or strawberry picking.
Halloween - carve or paint pumpkins and make a display on your porch or near your mailbox.

Spring: plant seeds in starter pots and then transfer to a garden if you have space. Much cheaper than buying annual flowers at the nursery, and they get a science lesson as they watch things sprout (or shrivel if they aren't watered!). If you don't have outdoor space, then plant a few pots of herbs that you can use in cooking. Parsley, basil, thyme and oregano are good and they also help kids expand their palates a little.

Cookie making for different holidays or seasons. It's fun to get out the cutters every year.

Birthdays - make it simple. Invite just a few good friends of the birthday child, and do fun things like a treasure hunt. We used plastic easter eggs as dinosaur eggs and the kids went on a dino hunt. The little candies or stickers inside became their "goody bag" and we never did expensive parties like bounce house places. Try old style games (potato races, sack races, object-memory game, etc. We got a book from the library that had all these games from the 1950s and 1960s, and it was great for inspiration. Kids love doing something that's not just another trampoline scream-fest, believe me!

Have a rainy day/snow day/sick day box in the closet or attic with fun activities you only do then. It solves the "I'm bored and I feel lousy" complaints.

Start small, and don't get overwhelmed. Keep a folder of good ideas you see in magazines even if you aren't ready to implement them.

Many people have either a Christmas tree set up, or another holiday type of centerpiece, where gifts are set out. As they're wrapped, or as they arrive in the mail, the gifts go under the tree or in a central place.

Instead of gifts prior to Christmas, set out books. Make the area comfy. Pillows on the floor, booklights (or use the Christmas tree lights) or a lamp. Get picture books, chapter books, holiday books. The books can reflect your religious beliefs,or they can just be books about winter and snow and family. They can be classics, like Little House on the Prairie, or they can be newer stories like The Polar Express. They can be wordless, or have no pictures at all. They can be riotously funny or serious and poignant. We have a wide variety now.

Of course, if you have very young babies/toddlers, you might want to stick to safe cloth or board books at first. You can set the tone by sitting down in that area at first and doing some reading. No phones. No electronic books. Good old paper only!

We started out with baby-safe books, and added one or two or three books every year. We'd set them out under the Christmas tree in early or mid December. No gifts. Just books. We'd often find the kids laying under the tree, reading the old familiar books and digging in to the new ones. No fears that they're getting into gifts or shaking the package trying to guess what's in it. The gifts were added after they went to bed Christmas eve.

Even when my son was in college, he'd love to look at the familiar books. They go into the Christmas decorating boxes when we take down the decorations, and don't come out again until next year.

We don’t live near extended family so we developed our own Christmas Eve traditions that we love. We have dinner together, set up luminaries in front of the house, go to 7pm church, then drive through neighborhoods to look at lights. When we get home, we set out cookies for Santa and the kids go to bed.

It’s simple, easy, costs almost nothing (just the luminary supplies) and we love it.

Totally different - my family growing up had a tradition of spending Christmas Day putting together a huge puzzle together. As we got older, the puzzles got harder. My siblings who live near my parents still do it.

I grew up with a single mom...you can start lots of fun holiday traditions. She would invite a few friends, or her boyfriend, or some coworkers over and always cooked a small turkey, green beans, mashed potatoes, canned cranberry sauce, boxed stuffing, pre-made rolls and a pumpkin pie. She kept it easy but delicious. Or it would be a potluck and the different people coming over each brought a dish to share. At Christmas time she always made frosted sugar cookies with us that you roll out, use cookie cutters, and decorate. This is one of my favorites and I do it every year with my kids. She always got a small tree and we kids decorated it. Her big splurge every singe year was taking us to see the Nutcracker. We would get all dressed up. And the night before Christmas she had us kids put out cookies and a note to Santa. Sometimes the next door neighbors had a Christmas eve party and we kids were allowed to go for the early part of the evening. Good luck with creating fun traditions!

Funny that this topic comes up after I watched the "Frozen" short before "Coco", which dealt with family traditions for the holidays, that the two orphaned sisters, Elsa and Ana, wanted to create for themselves. Like in the short film, you can borrow someone's idea for a holiday tradition, or make your own. You can order a turkey from a store like Fresh Market or Whole Foods, they usually have a meal option that includes side dishes too. There are also restaurants that have a set Thanksgiving menu and you can go there for dinner with the kids. Not everyone does this, some people get steak on Thanksgiving, some get a spiral ham. My co-worker makes lamb chops or rack of lamb on Thanksgiving, for example.

Now that you have dinner covered, you can create other traditions, like baking a pie together, even if it's one of those boxed pies that you just pop into the oven for an hour. My family likes mince pie for Thanksgiving and that is something we get every year, in addition to pecan pie. I don't like Black Friday shopping so instead, I started my own tradition this year of going to a movie on Black Friday with my daughter and I think we'll stick with it for a while. Last year, after we had dinner at my mom's, the next day, we drove up to visit my friend in Orlando and stayed the long weekend there.

Usually around the holidays I will plan a road trip with my daughter. It can be something as simple as heading over to Naples, FL to check out holiday displays, to going to a botanical garden or zoo or a landmark that is decorated for the holidays. I actually like switching things up so it's never dull and my kiddo doesn't know what to expect. How about doing something like that? A mini-weekend road trip somewhere a few hours away. Some places have holiday displays you guys could drive to and check out, take pictures, then stop somewhere for a hot cocoa and a pastry. I noticed you live in Miami too, there's the Zoo Miami Night of Lights where they light up the entire zoo, that could be a fun yearly tradition for you and your kids. I'm pretty sure the Miami Seaquarium is doing something similar. You could also hit the beach and go swimming, some places do that for the holidays, where they jump in freezing cold water and have a good laugh.

If you're into being active, you can go for a holiday hike, rent a canoe and go canoeing somewhere, play videogames, stay up past midnight watching holiday movies, play some holiday carols and light up your Christmas tree together/put up a Menorah or just decorate with holiday lights and garlands...that's something else I am planning to do with my daughter, since she is old enough to help me put up our tree, lights, and decorations without breaking the ornaments. There are plenty of outdoor concerts, outdoor movies, tree lighting ceremonies throughout many of the county parks and cities, and some of the local parks have snow days where they bring in some snow and kids can play in the snow. This year, there is that holiday movie, "The Man Who Invented Christmas" about Dickens, you can go see that. Some people like watching "A Christmas Story" every year (and by the way, there is apparently a TV remake of it now). Others like watching "The Polar Express" in pajamas with a mug of hot cocoa. How about some ice skating as a family? I remember a family in elementary school that would go to the Florida keys and camp with other kids and their families, though I think that was for New Year's. Hope I gave you some good ideas.