i have a 22 month daughter and a 7yr. old. my 7yr.old is always playing a little rought with little sister....and chasing her and jumping out of nowhere...when i tell her to stop my 7yr.old says shes playing with her. well in a way the 2yrold laughs and runs with her big sister but nowadays she doesnt sleep at night she screems her sisters name like shes having nightmares. no one is sleeping at home because this is everynight. any suggestions on what to do? i try holding her and saying its me mommy but she is still calling her sisters name. i told my 7yr old to stop scaring her and chasing after her..she tells me that shes only playing. please help!
That's simple, tell her that is not playing to the baby and to find another way to play with her or send her to her room until she decides to do what you tell her. Tell her the baby loves her but she can't continue to scare her and that because she's younger it DOES scare her. She can't continue to do that and you need to protect the baby because she can't protect herself.
Are you sure these aren't sleep issues? If you are holding her and she is still calling out she is still sleeping. Not actually normal but also has nothing to do with your older daughter playing with her. My boys talk in their sleep, sometimes yell. It is usually when they are over tired. Listening to what they have said over the years it has no basis in reality, they are just dreams.
I suggest that you need to put your foot down and stop the scary play. Give your 7 yo a consequence when she plays this way. Do not accept the excuse that she's just playing with her. Show her how to play with her more gently.
I also agree with Jo W. This may be night terrors that have nothing to do with her sister. Here is a web site that give information on night terrors. http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/sleep/a/night_terrors.htm
Nothing in your post indicates that this is sibling rivalry. However, here is an excellent book that deals with it. Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Farber and Elaine Mazlish. http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-T...
I agree with Suzanne L. I think the 22 month old can't express her fears to you and she is being terrorized (Terrorized is too strong a word, but you get the idea) by her sister.
I don't think her sister is malicious, but only you can determine that. Think of how many adults think scaring others, adults or children, is fun and funny.
I'd have big sister lay off the scaring and play gentle games until little sister is at least 3 years old.
Good luck to you and yours.
Tell your 7 year old "That's not an option", then give her some options on how to play. Tell her, she can play by herself or maybe her and her little sister could play a board game, make drawings or something to get her involved in. Give her some options that are okay to do. Maybe she will come up with something then praise her for making a good decision.
Explain to your 7yr old that you understand that she is just playing, but that this is not the way to play with a 2 year old. Punish her for any time she plays this way, and help her learn the best ways to play with her sister to keep them both safe.
I have a 6yr old and 4yr twins, all girls. My oldest is the same way, it seems she has not gotten over the fact that she is no longer the only one. After any disagreement, I make my kids give each other a hug, a kiss, and they have to tell each other how much they love one another. They are so used to it now, they sometimes do that on their own. Hope this helps.
You need to sit your 7 year old down and have a long talk with her. She is old enough to understand she is scaring her little sister and this will not be accepted as "play" any more. Give her some consequences if she continues. Time outs. Taking a favorite toy away for a period of time. Sent to her room. Etc. You need to put your foot down!
Maybe she wants her sister during the night and it has nothing to do with
being scared. Just an idea.
So the toddler likes it while it's happening but it may be giving her nightmares? If you want the 7 year old to stop this behavior, tell her that this behavior is to stop, no second chances, and if she ever does it, she will be punished. Put her right to bed for the rest of the day. She'll stop doing it. Whether she means any harm or not, if you want her to stop, then it's up to you to make that happen. Whether this really is the cause of the 2 year old's night time distress, I don't know.
