Sibling Co-sleeping: When & How?

My girls are 6 and 8. They have been sleeping together since the youngest was 2 years old. It really worked well until just a couple of months ago. We have bunk beds but used the top as a play area b/c neither wanted to sleep up there. Both girls would start kicking eachother and complain that neither had enough room. Last month we bought another twin bed and put it up on the top bunk and now they both sleep in their own bed. They love it b/c they got to decide what comforter and everything else that they wanted. Up until July they were both sleeping with me part of the night. I will say that having them sleep together was nice for both of them. When one or the other needed comforting the other one helped and if they wanted to cuddle they could. It worked well for us! I hope that helped!

Hi, I think your youngest one is old enough that is would be safe. But I think a twin would be too small. A double or larger on the floor or with a bed rail should be fine. Just continue to use a small blanket for your older one and the blanket issue should take care of itself. See how the kids do with it. I had planned to do the same but it took awhile to have my second and now they are pretty far apart in age so I'm not sure that they will be interested in sharing a bed by the time our little one is ready to move from parents bed to a sibling bed. so he might just go to his own bed when he is older like our older one did. good luck!

I just wanted to say bravo. It's hard to follow your instinct sometimes when society tells us there is only one way to parent. My daughters are 3.5 and 1 and my 3.5 year old can't wait until her sister gets to sleep with her. I have no advice to give, as I'm not there yet, but I'm sure they'll have a lovely time together!

I know this is probably not the answer you were looking for, but I would strongly encourage you to ask yourself some questions before deciding to have your kids co-sleep. I'm an elementary teacher and foster mom, so my thoughts on this are based on personal experience and reading, you might also want to discuss this with your pediatrician next time you have an appointment. I have found that co-sleeping fosters a dependency that just ends up making things harder on the parents. If the child is dependent on you being next to her in order to fall asleep, what happens if you and your husband go out for the evening, or away for the weekend? How about when one child is sick, or your older daughter wants to have sleepovers in a couple of years? I am assuming your 5 year old is either in kindergarten, or will be next year. Either way it will be a big transition (preschool to kindergarten, or 1/2 day k to full day 1st). How will co-sleeping affect her quality of sleep? How will you foster independence and self-soothing methods that will aid her in other areas? If your 5 year old decides at some point she does not want to sleep with her sister, are you willing to become the "replacement" co-sleeper for your little one? Could they find comfort in something more reliable like a favorite blanket or animal?

There are definitely no right answers when it comes to parenting. Co-sleeping might be the right choice for your family. I just wanted to let you know some of the issues/questions that we have dealt with so that as you make this decision you can have as much info as possible. Good luck and happy sleeping!

My sister and I are 15 months apart... we shared a bed probably from when I was 2 years old... until like 10. She is older and a blanket hog... but we loved it. We slept in a full bed with about fifteen stuffed animals!
Maybe you could try a naptime together before a whole night?

I would say that it is "safe" now if your youngest is 17 months, but... ours are 3 and 4 and they sleep together(head to toe in a twin bed with a shared blanket, despite having separate rooms) and it doesn't stop them at all from coming and getting in our bed. We just bought a bigger bed. I have found that it easiest just to not fight with a half asleep child and it seems to me would just not be respectful, how would you feel if you were forced to sleep in separate room from your husband, woke up scared or lonely or just wanting to be by him and he would not let you sleep with him. A child has no way of understanding why you don't want them in there(like privacy)so they are going to make up for themselves why you don't want them. If I don't want them in the bed(most of the time I am too tired to care and just let them stay), I just wait for them to fall back asleep and carry them back to their own bed. This stops them from getting upset and really waking themselves or their sibling up. They also have gotten very used to being carried around in their sleep, they don't wake up at all. The policy in our house is "I don't care where you go to sleep, just do." So they are often being carried upstairs from the living room or from our room to theirs. Probably the only draw back is they can not be put to bed at the same time, they would just play and keep each other up. But my daughter of her own accord goes to sleep much earlier then my son. Rarely, if they do need to go sleep at the same I put a movie on for them in that room, something sleep inducing like Bambi or a Goodnight Moon video we have. Hopefully by the time they are too big to carry they won't want to sleep with us anyway. Around the time they realize we have sex in that bed.

Hi,

My daughters are 5 & near 8 (Feb. 3rd b-day) and they had to share a bed when we were in an apartment since our first home sold so fast and our 2nd one wasn't done being built. They were 18 mos & 4 at the time. They did great and slept really hard. I don't see any harm in it and if they're comfortable and stay put in their bed together, what's the problem? Just my two cents. Good luck in your decision and I'm sure whatever you decide it'll be fine.

I would go here http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=37 and ask/search for advice or experiences. HTH. :)

Human beings need comfort, you are doing a wonderful thing for your girls. Best to get them a full size bed for now. Once they hit pre-teen they will want to go back to singles but for now it is a wonderful bonding time for them and will give you and your husband back your bed. Use one fitted sheet but have them each pick out a nice fleece throw with a favorite character on it. Dress the one who doesn't like covers a little bit warmer and forget about it. They know how they are comfortable and will work it out on their own. Until you can get them the full bed you could try an indoor camping experience and make a "tent" on thier bedroom floor with the bay bed mattress and the twin mattress inside. Get them used to each other's twitches and rolls then introduce the big bed and take them to get their own blankies. Good luck! and great thinking!

I am 5 years older than my brother and I have great memories of us sleeping together. I used to tell him stories. We slept together in my double bed. Then when we got older, he had bunk beds and I slept on the top bunk. I didn't start sleeping in my own bed until I was a teenager!
My boys are about 5 years apart. My youngest always wanted to sleep with us when he was a baby. We broke him of that at 11 months, then as soon as he was big enough to crawl out of his bed, he would crawl in bed with his big brother! Much more preferrable to him crawling in bed with us, and his brother didn't mind at all. They had bunk beds, twin size, and would sleep together on the bottom. We had them shoved against the wall, and I never remember anyone falling out. Of course they are very low to the floor, so it wouldn't have been a big deal.

I would think a double size mattress would be enough room for one to have blankets and the other to not. On the floor might be good to start, then you could put it on a frame later. They have bed rails you can add.

Good luck. My kids are all teens now, and thinking of those precious years when they snuggle in bed with you brings back good memories. They would squash me now!