Should We Take 4 Year Old to Funeral?

I would take him. That was his great grandmother and the family would love to see him. The funeral isn't for the dead but for the living to share in the grieving process and talk about all the wonderful memories.

I would take her to the funeral mass but not the wake. The concept of a dead body is hard for 4 year olds to understand. I think this is a good introduction for him because it is an elderly person (these funerals tend to be easier). Explain everything to him, the best you can. Lucky for all of us,
4 year olds take things in stride. They also take their cues from us. So as long as you are OK with everything, he will be.

NO!!!! I went to a funeral of a loosely related met a few times friend of the family at around this age and it totally freaked me out! Took me years to get over it. Wait until it is someone who is close to the family and he has to go. I remember it like it was yesterday and I'm 42! That's how traumatic it was. He's four let him enjoy being four without trying to explain death. Just my 2 cents. Good luck.

My impulse is to say take him... death and funerals are part of life.
I'm not sure he's old enough to get freaked out by it. That probably depends on his personality and how the whole thing is presented to him. (I did read Jessica V's response below...)
It might actually be easier on him if it's someone he doesn't know very well.
Frankly, I would be more concerned with him getting bored and not being quiet during services and such.
Tough question.... go with your gut. Good luck!

I probably would not take a 4-year-old. It seems a little young to really understand, and it may be disruptive to the other people there. I remember going to an uncle's funeral when I was five and it was overwhelming and scary. I did take my daughter (when she was eight) to a wake for the mother of a friend of hers -- she did not know the mother, but she went to support her friend. She was old enough to understand that the funeral is to support the friends and family of the deceased and that was what she was doing. Plus, there was no open casket (that may have changed my mind), and the decision to go was 100% up to her. We talked about it in advance to help her prepare.
But I will say, every kid is different -- I would not do the same with my son who is almost eight -- he would not approach it as maturely as my daughter did.

I wouldn't. a 4yr old isn't going to really understand the concept and will start worrying about who else around him is going to die and when and can develop separation anxiety with parents and loved ones. Also, a 4yr old is not likely to sit quietly through a funeral which would be inconsiderate to others who are grieving and paying their last respects. Taking him to the graveside could be very disturbing too. Can you have someone watch him during the service a,d let him be with you on the ride and visitation/lunch afterwards? Then, get a balloon for him later and let him release it into the sky to send to great-grandma in heaven.

my very 1st thought....after reading just the title of your post....was "absolutely".

Then I read the full post.....& again, my very 1st thought was "absolutely, he should go".

Then I headed to the responses....& thought....nope, my answer will still be "absolutely". Sorry, ladies/gents, I didn't read your answers.

This is a perfect time to teach your child important life skills, such as this life-ending event. Please teach him to honor those whom have passed. :)

I have taken my 4yr old to to funerals, all went well. I answered his questions as they came up and only gave him what he could and would understand. It was not an issue for us. We did the open casket wake and funerals for Great Grandpa and Great Grandma right around turning 4 and next year right around turning 5. We were very factual about it, kept it simple and brought a handheld video game to play away from the action when he needed a break. Lucky for us our family's funeral home has a park right across the street and a McDonalds half a block up (5min walk) for those just in case moments. In addition it has a basement that is for the kids to gather and have a more relaxing less stressfilled time with wifi connection and a little kitchen and seating areas. We were the "hit" with the 3DS they all sat around watching Phinneas and Ferb commiserating together in the basement and came up as needed. Honestly, it was more difficult on the older kids than the younger ones from my perspective.

I think it's all right. You'll need to explain things. Be prepared to answer questions - including some hard ones and some really off-the-wall ones - for several weeks, or longer, thereafter. Four-year-olds don't have everything straight in their minds when it comes to real life and make-believe.

When I was growing up, my parents did not take us to funerals, for some reason. Maybe they thought we'd make a disturbance. But some exposure to that part of life - or at least some discussion about it - would have been helpful.

I think he is too young-and as he was not that close, the process is a little different for him. We all struggle with the finality of death-it is that much more difficult in a small child. God bless Grandmother and all of you, too, at this time.

I would not do it if I could avoid it. If you have to take him that is one thing but if you can easily make arrangements for him to stay with someone else I would do that. I know lots of people say, well death is part of life and he has to learn about it sometime... etc etc etc. I say he is only 4 years old... He will learn about death in time... preserve his innocence as long as you can and let him just enjoy life for now.

I don't have a kid yet but I've taught almost every elementary grade including kindergarten. I think it depends on the child. If you think he can handle it go ahead and take him. No one knows him better than you or your husband so go with what you think. Keep in mind that sooner or later he will have to understand the concept of death, but four might be young.

This question comes up at least once a month and my answer is always the same. YES, death is a natural part of life. All living things die.

Explain death to your child according to your beliefs. I like to believe that only the body dies the spirit goes on and the love you experienced with this person never dies.

Plus having a child at a funeral is a joy to the greiving. You might want to take some toys and a change of clothes. If there won't be an older child to help watch him and keep him entertained take along a child of a friend say around 10-12.

We took my daughter (then 4yo) to my grandmas funeral and had to travel on a plane to get there. My daughter knew that she had died and we told her about heaven, but I I don't think she understood what death was. She didn't get upset or cry, she just colored quietly in the pew during the service. My daughter had known her great grandmother, but not as well as she know her grandmother, so and I think it may have affected her differently if she was closer. After reading all the no's I just wanted to say that death is a natural part of the life cycle, we all are born and we all die, something that should be considered.

I would not bring my 5 year old to a funeral. Just my opinion though. They have plenty of time to learn about death, without actually "seeing" death.

If you think your daughter cant handle it and you have a babysitter, then dont take her. Simple as that. When my kids were that age I HAD to take them because I didnt have a babysitter. I explained where we were going, what had happened, who it happened to and that they were to remain quiet and not play around. And I didnt let them look at the body. As far as they know they were at church service.