Should I Let It Go or Say Something?

That seems like plenty of food to me and it was healthy. I think that you could still talk to her about her decision and why she made it, but that seems to me to be a substantial lunch......she has protein from the nuts in the trail mix, veggies, a fat in the dip for the veggies (most likely), 2 fruits, and a cliff bar which I am assuming is some sort of healthy granola type bar?, which would be a grain, seems to me she hit all the food groups except dairy and would be plenty of food!!

She does not have an eating disorder. She wouldn't be eating the food she chose, if she did. That's actually a very healthy and well balanced lunch. She is getting fiber (apples have a lot of fiber), carbohydrates, vegetables, protein, and fruit. That's a very substantial lunch. I think it would be made even better, to add cheese to that. I think you are overreacting and I don't blame her, for feeling the way she does about the conversation. She is making VERY good food choices and you should be thrilled about that!!

I honestly thought you was going to say that you thought that she was taking too much. An apple and a banana is actually rather filling. Adding the veggies, dip, and a cliff bar is even quite a bit more. A cliff bar is designed to be a small meal or a decent snack in some situations. Dip usually isn't very low calorie. It sounds to me like she really is eating healthy for her. My 2nd daughter decided to be a vegetarian. I don't like it much. But she's in her 20's and has done it for over a year. It's her choice not mine.

Sounds like an awesome lunch for a teenager to me.

That's more than I eat for lunch and I'm nursing!! I think you're looking for a problem where there is none. Keep a gentle eye on her weight and diet, but don't make a big issue out of it unless/until you notice her losing weight, skipping meals, or drastically reducing what she eats. Trust your daughter and keep communication WIDE open.

If you really feel like you need to address it though, approach it from nutrition not weight. Don't talk about calories, but about vitamins and minerals and other nutrients. Tell her what protein, carbs and fats DO for her body and why she needs them all. Give her plenty of vegetarian sources of protein and keep your fridge/pantry stocked with healthy and nutrient-rich options for her.

She's 13 and needs to have a healthy relationship with food. Teach her that, but don't micromanage every bite of food. Good luck :o)

Her lunch would have more than filled me up, and I'm a meat eater. Just sayin...

I wanted to add that sometimes eating the 'right' foods is a lot more filling than 'wrong' foods. As long as she is eating a healthy vegetarian meal, then you probably will notice her eating a lot less, as she is filling up faster. Keep that in mind as you are monitoring her eating habits.

I grew up in a VERY healthy household. On occasion I would buy lunch instead of take it in high school. Many times, I would just grab a fries from the cafe, or a bag of Doritos and little can of bean dip from the school store. I survived and am now a very health conscious adult.

The funny thing is that many of my dinners were just fruit and veggie plate, all raw. I sometimes just craved bad things, but always had the 'good stuff' as part of my regular diet.

I wanted to share from maybe her perspective. (I am 21, but I became a vegetarian at 13) I think it's a great choice for her, in fact I'm still a vegetarian! And, like her, I grew up in a meat eating family. Good for you for helping her buying her magazines/books, ect!! One thing you can do is maybe a few nights of the week, make something good and vegetarian for dinner for the whole family! Show her how great high-protein meat substitutes can be delicious! Make Spaghetti with tofu crumbles in the sauce! Or meatless burgers! (MorningStar is a GREAT brand, they make some called "grillers") Show her you support her choice AND encourage healthy eating! Whatever you do....PLEASE DON'T call it a "FAD" and dismiss it!!!!!! People did that to me when I made my decision to be meatfree, It was probably the most disrespectful thing people could say about it. It drove me nuts.
Also, I think her lunch wasn't bad. Good fiber, healthy fruits. I would think you are lucky, most teens don't eat HALF that well!! Just encourage the proteins, she'll be fine! If you really strongly feel she is loosing weight and it's unhealthy, talk to her....BUT do it in a respectful way, always be accepting of her independence! Hope that helps!

I dont think she has an eating disorder or anything I do think that maybe the two of you should do some research on the vegetarian diet. I have a lot of family members who are vegetarians and even Vegans as long as they make sure they get proper nutrition they seem to be just fine. Just say your sorry about this mornings issue and admit you are not aware of a lot of vegetarian choices and between the two of you try to work it out.

As long as she had a healthy breakfast, I think that's a decent amount of food. The clif bar is prob around 230 cals + the banana + apple + bag of trail mix would put her at well over 500 cals for lunch which is plenty. I wouldn't have her take a clif bar every day for lunch though. Just make sure she has some real (vs. processed) food most days that are healthy that also has proteins - tofu, beans, etc.

I think it will be very helpful for the two of you to go to a nutritionist/dietitian together. She needs to make sure she is getting enough calories and protein at that critical developmental age.

That was way too much food, some of it high calorie (like the cliff bar and trail mix) for someone with an eating disorder, so I would not worry about it right now. If she starts to lose weight or feel or look unhealthy, than say something.

From the Calorie Calculator at www.caloriecount.com

1 carrot = 30 calories
1 celery = 9 calories
1 serving (38 g) T. Marzetti Low Fat Ranch Veggie Dip = 30 calories
1 medium apple = 65 calories
1 medium banana = 110 calories
1 Cliff Bar (chocolate chip) = 250 calories
1 serving of trail mix (3Tbsp) = 130 calories

Grand Total = 624 calories (if she eats everything, you don't know, you're not there. Today it's apples, tommorrow it's nothing)

According to nutrition expert Mary Hartley, RD a girl between the ages of 11 and 14 needs 2220 calories a day. This average does not take into consideration size, body composition, and physical activity on a daily basis, which is why it is important that you and your daughter consult a nutritionist to be sure she is being truly healthy. For more, see: http://caloriecount.about.com/average-calorie-needs-old-f...

The calorie count I've provided is only a rough estimate, but when you take into consideration the requirements for a child her age, short of her catching up on calorie needs at breakfast and dinner she may be setting herself up for some real health issues in the not too distant future. Heaven help her if she's heavy into sports and exercise. She could literally be living on air as it is easy to burn that many calories participating in one afterschool sports activity.

I think it's alarming so many moms are hung up on the fact that she's probably okay because she's not eating chips and pop. This kind of thinking will definitely set up a young girl for an eating disorder. The fact that she's getting defensive is a red flag. Don't just blow it off as a teen agnst thing. Explain to her if she wants to do something grown up like choose how she wants to eat, as long as she's under your roof you expect her to do it right, starting with getting guidance from an expert, not tips from girlfriends at school, or from books and magazines. She should have a real analysis done on her by a real nutritionist.

Keep in mind, eating only nuts, fruits, and veggies doesn't necessarily make one healthier or one's diet better than someone gorging on fast food and snacks. It goes beyond choosing just the right kind of foods...it's a combination of eating the right stuff in the right amounts for someone her height, weight and age. To do this right, she really should see someone who can tailor a vegetarian diet specific to her needs and lifestyle.

Most important, don't forget she's not done developing and could have some serious setbacks to her fertility and develop unwanted health issues if she's not getting a balanced diet to accommodate the needs of her growing body.

I am vegetarian... and I actually think her choices for lunch was really good... and a lot of food/calories if you ask me! Have you ever checked out how much protein is in a Cliff bar?? And nuts, fruits and veggies. Honestly, it's the type of stuff i would eat and would send my kid (who is vegetarian) to school with. Mind you, I do not have an eating disorder. I eat all day long (a grazer)... we NEVER eat big meals!

i say that was a lot of food and it was healthy but personally i would think she would need some sort of more stable proten. maybe do a humus and pita vegi pizzas for her for lunch. but to me i dont think just fruit and vegies is NOT a well balanced meal

From reading these answers it seem like a lot of people assume she may have an eating disorder. That seems silly as the lunch you described is well balance and healthy. She's got several smaller snacks to eat throughout the day which provice, vitamins, fiber and protein. That's the way we are all supposed to eat for maximum health. As for the people who claim being a vegetarian is unhealthy they simply do not know what they're talking about. Look around, the cheap animal products most people consume daily are killing them, no question about it. Honestly if you look into what's in animal products and meat you'd find out they are not only unhealthy but contributing to many of the diseases that plague Americans. Get her a good veg nutrition book, make a few meatfree dinners each week and support her in making such a smart and mature choice!

My sister became a vegetarian when she was about that age too. She started out by eating a lot of Power Bars too. I think her lunch sounded like it had some really good choices. Maybe look up the total amount of calories each of those foods has. As long as she's getting the right amount of calories daily she should be ok. Plus, my sister also doesn't eat really big meals either, but she does eat more small meals and snacks. Perhaps that is what's going on too? Maybe your daughter is eating less per meal, just more frequently? Hummus is also a great food to have around for a vegetarian, very healthy and good to use as a dip or in sandwiches!!

first of all wow!, thank you for being such a good mom to your daughter with her decision. I too went vegetarian at 13 and my family was not at all supportive. But i trudged on and still eat that way. What your daughter packed for lunch sounds great, a serving of veggies, 2 servings of fruit, a bar containing complex carbs and protein, and trail mix has alot of protein and omega 3 fatty acids as well. I think her decision was very complete, and nutritious. i think if all she packed was that apple, or that bag of trail mix and then she just nibbled on it then id be concerned.

There are people in this world that eat like that, imagine your daughters lunch, minus the dip, and imagine that they only eat the peel of the apple. These people are on a calorie restriction lifestyle, they only eat vegan, and only the most nutritious parts of their food. They live very well, have lots of energy and they stay that way...well into their 80's most live to be at least 100.

As long as your daughter appears healthy, and you know she eats at least that for lunch shes fine. Most people eat too much.

I went vegetarain at 14 and kept it up until I was about 26. My Mom was pretty good about making sure there was food I could eat at dinner too.

You don't say how tall your daughter is. If she's tall, that lunch may not be enough. But at 5'1", I can say that I'd be really full if I ate all of that at one sitting (even when I was a teen, I would have).

It's good that you are paying attention though. People often think that eating disorders are all about body image, but they can be about taking control of one's body too. If she is getting unwanted, inappropriate attention (and sadly, most of the attention a girl's maturing body gets is inappropriate), that could also be a trigger to try to drop weight.

There were alot of healty items that she did choose. I think you made a good choice in packing some additional protein for her and I would let it go from there. My sister is a vegetarian since a child because she simply does not like to eat meat. She tends to eat things are that are unhealty and in abundance and ends up being overweight. being vegetarian does not equal healthy and skinny.I think your daughter made decent choices with her lunch. If she loses alot of weight or doesnt eat then I would be concerned. Be thankful that you are not having a battle on the other side with crappy fast food and sweets.

The lunch she made for herself is actually better than many kids her age and other teens... but I see what you mean. Maybe you should make an appointment thru her pediatrician for a Nutritionist - and have her talk to your daughter about becoming a vegetarian and what caloric intake and levels of certain foods she must consume in a day.

I think that could work for lunch. However, I would definitely keep a
watchful eye on her. She is at the age where she wants to fit in with her
friends. If they are dieting etc. she could be swayed in the wrong
direction. Right now I would watch. You do not want to make a big deal
of a problem that might not exist.

She's certainly old enough to make the decision about what she eats but she does need to be sure that she makes healthy decisions. It's great she wants to go vegetarian but it still needs to be a balanced meal. It's not as simple as throwing in some vegge and an energy bar in your lunch. Get her some books on vegan & vegetarian nutrition as well as some cookbooks. If this is something she really wants to do, she'll be interested in reading it and she'll learn from it. And she'll appreciate your support. If, after doing that, she doesn't change what she eats, I would consider having her talk to someone because there may be more involved. See if she'll be amenable to making a nutrition diary every day by writing down what she ate and how much. If there is more too it, that would be a good resource to have. If there isn't, it would still be a good resource to her so knows exactly in what areas she needs to adjust her food intake so it's more balanced and healthy. Good luck!

You have to be careful when going vegetarian( I was one for about 5 years until I got pregnant with my first and craved chicken the whole time!) a lot of vegetarians don't get all the nutrients they need because they limit themselves on the fruits and veggies they eat. I would sit with you daughter and discuss your concerns then both of you can go over what a meal plan for her should look like that would keep her healthy.
~C.

Actually, it sounds like she packed a pretty healthy and hearty lunch! Given how many of us get only the Clif bar for a meal -the added fruits, veggies, dip and trail mix (which is usually LOADED with fat and calories as well as protein) sounds great! I can't imagine many people wanting to throw a nut butter and honey sandwich on top of all of that. I would totally let this go. If you notice her REALLY limiting her food intake so that she's taking an apple (and that's it) for lunch or wanting to only eat a Clif bar for dinner -then say something.

You need to keep an eye on her food - I was borderline anorexic - now I 'joke' that I stopped eating meat, then I stopped eating anything. Don't be confrontational - it's a control issue. If she sees you trying to control her food (if this is indeed the case) she will push back and can make a sensitive situation worse.
Stock up on vegetarian food with calories and protein and see if she responds - tofu and soy products, greek yogurt, regular yogurt, smoothies with protein powder, beans with salads, etc.
Take her shopping with you - if she reads every label and puts things back with moderate fat/calorie conent, that is a warning flag.
Is she exercising more than usual?
IM me if you have more questions. This looks like a slippery slope...

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I had an eating disorder throughout high school and into college. I would never have eaten that much food for lunch :-) A Clif Bar has 10g of protein (230 calories), plus the nuts in the trail mix are high calorie and healthy protein.

Please work with her to explore a healthy vegetarian diet. Continue to explore protein options with her, so that you can be comfortable with her choices. Make sure she knows you support her in this and are interested in her health, but open to new things.

A person can have an eating disorder without losing substantial weight (I weighed EXACTLY 114 lbs for the five years I had an eating disorder, at 5'4" that was within normal weight, but I was totally consumed/obsessed with food in all ways), and a person can change and limit their diet without having an eating disorder. Keep the communcation lines open, and your mom's intuition active!

Actually, I think I would be stuffed if I ate just what your daughter packed for lunch. And it sounds pretty balanced to me. I think she did a good job.

Why don't you go on line and google healthy vegitarian meals for her age group. When people cut out meat/chicken they have to replace the protein somewhere, make sure she is getting enough as she is athletic an needs the stamina and muscle to perform.

That seems like plenty of lunch to me... I should be so good to my body! However, I do think you're definitely right to make sure that she's making this decision for reasons other than losing weight. What a good mama you are! I think the key with a kid her age is to be careful not to make it seem like you're "attacking" her or disagreeing with her choice. I know you're not, teens can just be overly defensive when they want to be treated like adults.

It is smart for you to watch her eating and watch the pattern over the course of a week, not necessarily just one meal or day--kinda like a toddlers:)

You are right to think about her motivations to changing to being vegetarian. Some girls do it to cut calories and do it out of peer pressure. Again--watch over the long term so you don't fret everytime she packs less or eats less than you think she should.

It is good she packed fruits and veggies for herself and the carb bar? Lean protein is a much missed component in the diets of many "vegetarians" A vegetarian diet can be just as unhealthy as a meat based one if it is chock full of cheese and junk carbs--the cheese pizza and french fry vegetarian. Help her learn about eating dry beans, tofu and other soy based alternatives to boost her protein and the importance of whole wheat and other whole grain products. My husband and I used to be vegetarian and it can be a really healthy diet but it takes a little more effort to learn how to appropriately replace meat.

There are great veggie cookbooks out there--I love the ones by Mollie Katzen! Try a cooking class together and let her have control about what she chooses without hovering too much. Keep the lines of communication open about her motivations behind her choices. Some of the motivation is that teens like to have independence and one way to do this is to make big changes in their philosophy, religion, political beliefs, and eating styles.

I thought that sounded like a rather healthy lunch, good choices for a 13 y.o. she has everything except animal protein and dairy, which is fine. Almond butter is great, i'd google recipes to make a dip with it or as someone said, hummus is great too. I'd look at making (or having her make) homemade trailmixes, so you can choose the best ingredients, like almonds, dried cranberries & blueberries, a healthy granola etc. Watch her weight and behavior for changes, and address them if necessary. It is common for girls this age to diet, and eating disorders can start there, I agree with what others have said. Even skinny girls diet. But it may not be that, there are alot of people simply becoming aware of how "wrong" or "inhumane" it is to consume "dead animal flesh", that term alone makes me want to be vegetarian again! the raw diets and vegan eating is increasingly popular. I would have a good talk with her about her reasons behind the change, but bottom line I would accept her decision. 13 year old know an awful lot *cough cough* its often best not to question or argue it as it may just be a phase too.

It sounds like she made a good lunch to me and not like she has an eating disorder. But you are a great mom to keep an eye out for this kind of thing. If you are worried about it you could see if there is a good documentary on eating disorders out there to watch with your daughter and then you can both talk about it. It sounds to me like she is making healthy choices though. Nuts have fat and protein and the clif bar has protein. The veggies and fruit were great too - they are now saying we need to eat 8 servings a day and not 5! Are you worried she is not getting enough fat in her diet? Make sure she eats plenty of avocados and nuts. Does she eat fish? Wild caught Alaska salmon, especially the Yukon River kings, have lots of good fats. You could make her homemade trail mix or homemade granola with lots of nuts and seeds (macadamia nuts, cashews, pine nuts) as well as dried fruit etc. Does she like cheese and yogurt? Maybe she could take a yogurt each day as well (not the nonfat kind).

I remember at that age I would take a chunk of cheese to school! I resented my parents arguing about what I ate. I wasn't anorexic. I think you did brilliantly, deflecting an argument and sending her off. Her food choices were pretty good and she had a variety of stuff. I am not a dietician but the almond butter was the only thing I think that was a better choice than what she chose for herself...I don't think honey and bread are more nutritious than trail mix and fruit and veggies.

Just thinking back to being 13...it's better for you to be non-confrontational and just have nutritious foods on hand. Also, be an example of being healthy and satisfied with your body image even if you're not skinny. Show appreciation for people's attractiveness no matter what their size. It could be that she just wants to be vegetarian, to make healthier or humane choices, and it's not about weight. I wouldn't fight over this unless you think she has an eating disorder. I think fighting is more likely to cause her to stop eating as eating disorders are often about control.

I'd start by taking her to a nutritionist. During my teen years some of my friends tried out being vegetarian. They lost weight and became sick not because of an eating disorder, but because of a lack of education on vegetarian diets. Some common mistakes they made were not eating enough protein or not eating enough in general because they were not sure what to eat!

I think it's plenty of food, so that's not really the issue. Her tummy would be full. It's more about what she's eating, which seemed a bit limited. Maybe you should sit down with her and talk about guidelines for packing lunches - always including one grain, one protein source (trail mix has some protein, but the cliff bar probably had plenty), one dairy, etc. I also agree with others that you may want to research other vegetarian options so that it's not all prepacked or raw veg. Perhaps with those guidelines, she could pack a more balanced meal.

P.S. I have been vegetarian for about 13 years now, and it began when I was in high school. My mother was very good about always making sure there were vegetarian sides on the table for me, instead of discouraging my food choices. I think it is wonderful that you are working with your daughter on this instead of against her - it could be a phase she is going through, or it could be a life-changing decision. Good luck!

I'm surprised you are not concerned that she may have an eating disorder (even though you mentioned you wondered if something else is going on...please go with you instincts). Her behavior raises a big red flag for me. She is dieting and if you don't address this immediately, she can lose so much weight that she can die. Why not make an appointment with your pediatrician, have her come with, and address this new "fad" of eating she has adopted and let the pediatrician help you. I don't think you should "force" her to eat anything because she could do it just to satisfy you and then turn around and vomit it up. In my opinion, this is serious.

I would watch what she is eating to be sure she is getting enough nutrition but having been gestational diabetic recently, and still insulin resistant, I've learned a lot about nutrition. Her lunch was possibly ok not knowing exactly how many carbs in the cliff bar. 30-45g carbs (piece of fruit is about 15, she had 2) total is right for lunch or dinner, 15-20 for breakfast, 15 twice a day for snacks. Every meal should have protein as it balances the carbs. All of us should be eating lots of veggies and getting enough fiber. Nuts, for example, is a great source of protein and fiber. As far as bread goes, I can only eat the light versions aka Pepperidge Farm Light (which are yummy btw and I've switched the whole family to them), etc. Take a look at how carb heavy most are and the # of slices. And cereal for breakfast is actually a big no no (too many carbs in the morning which raises the blood sugar) unless it's a small amount of oatmeal.

The most beneficial aspect of my experience was my meeting with a nutritionist. Well worth the less than $100 it would have cost if my insurance didn't pick up. I highly recommend it especially since there are 3 different nutritional body types, protein (that's me), carb, and protein/carb.

She is growing up which is really what you want her to do.

I say play it cool. In the next month and a half try taking her to the doctors. Have her weight checked. If it has dropped at all, that should be an indication of something else. Let the doctor inform her because it really does take a village to raise children.

I also prescribe the the slicker the oil method of raising children. If you can find a video, article or anyother information regarding healthy diet for vegetarians and the like associated with teen development, I would pop that in and let it play or fix it to the fridge door. You can always say that it is a reminder for yourself.

I know many vegetarians and they each have had their fair share of health problems because of lack in their diet. Still make certain she is having a balanced diet. Proteins are important. Is she at least eating fish for the brain and omega 3's and beans for protein. This should definitely be a part of her new diet.

Don't "talk" to her just apologise for this mornings blow up and then get to being slick. She won't even see what hit her because you are going to be stealth mode momma.

I think you did a great job on the situation at the time, due to the fact that age can be very sensitive and lets not make food too big of an issue. I would arm my self with some more veggie type cook books and information for her. Find out if there's someone famous she likes that's got a book out there for her to relate to about being a vegan.

Also maybe as an idea a vegan cooking class might be cool to go to, you and her or maybe her and a friend. Our local stores has some cooking classes that have a wide range of different types of cooking you may also have something like that local.

She does need protein you are right even if it's not meat, so there's got to be a way to get the info to her without it being because mom said. Maybe if she reads it or is in some type of cooking class and someone else says it it will then be ok. Like I've recently told a friend of mine us mom's geeze what do we know, if they only knew.

I think that she actually packed quite a sufficent lunch. Be proud of her...she did a great job!

You need to consider that she may have an eating disorder....
and if so... she will need Therapy... and treatment....