In a sense, I understand your fear of the unknown...but in the same thought, I read that you want to know so that you can direct your teachings accordingly so your child does not go without the proper means.
My opinion through examples...(and I can only come from a moms point of view because I am not a licensed doctor/therapist/couselor/all of the above) (1) If my child got hurt on the playground, I would ask him questions and then evaluate the situation as to whether I can do home remedies or if I need a professional to treat him. (2) If my child got his feelings hurt from what I said, I would change my tone and my words, take his feelings into consideration, yet still get the same point across. and (3) If my child has some difficulties completing a school project, then I will help as much as I can and if its past my capabilities, then I will need to seek a tutor for him.
what I am trying to get across to you is that no matter what we do, we need to understand that our (1) decision making and (2) personal changes, and (3) trust for others to help our kids can be more difficult and painful than giving birth itself.
I think that you should definitely get your child checked out for his own benefit. If you don't, it is only you to blame due to your fears rather than looking out for what is best for your son and getting him proper treatment.
If you still have reservations about the military, you can always get a second opinion.
If your child is under age 3, then YES, EDIS is the place that you would go where it is totally voluntary and confidential. If he is over the age of 3, he would get evaluated by Child Find.
whatever the outcome would be, why not have it in his permanent record? If you were incapacitated and he was "acting out", wouldn't you want to have someone read that he has "something" rather than label him as something he is not? just some things to think about.
sorry that its lengthy, but I'm sure that you understand. We sometimes have to say to ourselves that "I've done the best I can and I need help beyond my control"