Should I Give the Teacher a Heads-up?

Yeah, unless he was being threatened or harassed I wouldn't say anything. Young kids have all kinds of opinions and beliefs (religious and otherwise) and they love to share them with/test them out on each other.

I wouldn't say anything. I don't go to the teacher when other kids tell my kids Santa isn't real, how babies are made, or that the tooth fairy came to their house the night before. Basically kids believe what they are taught to believe at home and think that's the only truth. So at 7/8 years old, they are eager to try and get everyone to listen to them. I would let it go.

I would only address it if it were the teacher giving the preaching.

I wouldn't at this point. I'm a member of a minority religion and I do draw that line at either institutional teaching of religion (through observances or other) in public schools, and at outright recruitment (which we see sometimes in older grades). However, that's not what is happening here. I think policing their speech is a fruitless battle even though, of course, we would rather that these things not occur. But my Jewish child had to listen to kids talk about Santa or the Easter Bunny, and kids are going to discuss what they are doing this weekend or say other things that profess their beliefs. What we have to do is teach our kids a kind response that doesn't put the other child down but does allow our child to stand tall and not feel his own beliefs are threatened. On some level, the more exposure we have to other religions, the less fear and misunderstanding there is. I suggest you give your minister a call, and brainstorm some things you can tell your child about how to respond, and when to respond, to comments he hears. I think that will help you find the right language to use that's in line with your beliefs and your parenting style.

I agree that religion is personal, but these conversations involving your child actually are being held on a personal level, not an instructional level. It's no different than kids talking about who their parents voted for or what music they like or what kind of birthday party they are going to - unless and until it becomes highly critical or accusatory.

They are kids, the school does not have a right to dictate the conversations they have and neither do you. If you don't want your son to be part of these conversations then teach him to walk way.

It would be different if the teacher was leading the discussion and your son had no choice but to stay but what you are saying is you want to control the other kids, that just isn't right.

As others have said, threats, yes, bring that to the teacher. You are going to go to hell is not a threat.

I love what Gidget has to say - "if we truly live our beliefs, we don't need to convince anyone of what we believe". Wow - so bang on!

Your child is going to meet all kinds growing up. Unfortunately, some kids are going to say upsetting things (and that is upsetting, "you're going to hell") - I think you have a right to be a little concerned, but this is an opportunity to teach your child about differences and that they don't have to pay attention to it. Treat it as if it's anything else that is said that is not nice.

And also a good way to explain everyone has different ideas or beliefs and what being respectful is, and when behavior is not (such as preaching to others).

If it gets to the point where it's almost like bullying, or when your child is becoming uncomfortable, then for sure I would mention it to the teacher. Just as a heads up as you say.

Some kids are just learning about this stuff now (hell etc.) and may just be vocalizing what they've heard and not really understand it. I'm guessing their parents aren't doing a super job of explaining to them how to be mindful of others (unless they are from a preachy type of religion).

Keep an eye on it and I'm sure you've handled it really well already - with your talk so far. Sounds good. :)

I would skip it. The teacher already likely has a lot to deal with and your son will have to deal with lots of stuff like this. Just part of life and if you live somewhere that people are religious, it'll be ongoing. Not like the kids are really being mean either. It's what they are taught at home. It'd be like a vegetarian kid telling your meat eating kid that he shouldn't eat meat. Not something the vegetarian should be reprimanded for really. These things lead to conversations in life. So just explain it all to your son at home and if kids tell him he's going to hell, he can just say we don't believe that in our house.

I'd say talk to the teacher simply because of his age. You are right, he's too young to have to take this. Kids will talk about what they talk about and the teacher can't do much about it but she/he can be there for support for your child so he can go to her/him and your child can get it off his chest if he's upset.

I'm surprised the kids are doing this. Most kids aren't budding evangelist....I'm really sorry for your son. It's not fun going through this.

P.,

I think if this is all there is to it, and you continue to talk with your son about recognizing and respecting various religions, and reminding him that other people's opinions are just that---opinions, that's all you need to do.

Even if another child had said something like "you're going to hell," it is more effective for you to reiterate your own beliefs about this and to teach your son how to handle these situations than to get the school involved. Even as an "FYI," I'm not sure it is useful to share this with the teacher at this point. If the teacher did not actually hear another child say this, she can't really go on hearsay and approach that student, and public schools generally aren't open to using instructional time to host discussions on religious tolerance. Tolerance, in general, yes, but not specifically religious tolerance.

If things like this have been said in the presence of the teacher, then you would expect her to shut that down and have a refresher talk about respecting differences and being kind, etc.

Not saying that this is what you're trying to do--- but just want to say that since you can't control what kids (or anyone) will say in various public places, it's best just to teach your son how to respond appropriately when people say questionable things and to bring his questions or concerns to you so you can continue your on-going discussions with him.

Unless the speech becomes threatening or crosses that fine line into hate speech (which is sometimes difficult to determine when young children are doing the reporting), the best thing you can do for your son is to do what you have been doing and continue to teach him how to handle different people having different opinions.

If these comments persist to the point where your son truly feels uncomfortable, then you should have him bring his concerns to the teacher or aftercare supervisor right when it is happening. That's when some of the most teachable moments can happen.

Best to you and your family.

J. F.

well, you don't have to 'overlook' it. but you do need to understand that this is NOT the workplace, and these aren't adults. they're little people and they talk about what's on their minds without considering what's PC.
and that's okay.
my kids went to school in an overwhelming christian community, and there were lots of kids there who felt the need to 'save' them. we had some discussions and role-playing sessions to help them handle it, but i never considered involving the teachers. unless there's violence involved, kids have got to learn to negotiate tricky waters with other people. parents are way too concerned about creating perfectly smooth paths for their kids today (which may not be you, just speaking generally.)
my younger got a really hard time when he used the W word in connection with his mom at school. i couldn't wade in there and discuss religious tolerance with all his classmates. i listened to him, comforted him, and assured him that it was perfectly fine to repeat firmly and as often as necessary 'that's none of your business' and to walk away from anyone trying to harass him.
you can't force respect from others. you can, of course, to some degree force the school to oversee the interactions between your son and the other kids. but you want to do that with a very, very light hand. it has a lot of potential to backfire.
it's always better to empower your own kid than to police the rest of 'em.
ETA- the W word is witch. :)
khairete
S.

I would use this to help teach your son on how to handle/deal with people like that. It is something that goes on no matter what your beliefs are and no matter how old you get.

If it becomes threats to your child then, yes let the teacher know what's going on.

This is America and we have a right to freedom of speech. Unless the speech is intended to incite a riot or it is hate speech, then there is nothing anyone can do. I also don't consider that your son is being harassed by other students who say this. It is simply their observation based on what they have been taught.

My faith is very important to me, but I try to live my life the way I believe is right. Once in a while in conversation religious topics come up, and I'm not ashamed of my believes and very willing to have a conversation. But unless I believe someone is doing something harmful to another person, I tend to keep my beliefs to myself. (As a Catholic I do not eat meat on Fridays during Lent, but who am I to say someone else should do the same.)

The thing is, there are many Christian denominations that believe part of being a Christian means to proselytize (convince others of your beliefs). I strongly believe in the saying, "Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary use words," because I believe the heart of that message is that if we truly live our beliefs, we don't need to convince anyone of what we believe. There are many who disagree with me and believe that they must preach the Gospel vocally.

It's not my style, but it is part of our society. I think the best thing you can do for your son is help him to learn to not let it bother him.

P., if you're son is being told that he's going to hell, that's crossing a line. They are using religion to bully him. There are plenty of adults who do this too, but your son isn't an adult. You need to talk to the teacher and ask her to have a talk with these kids and tell them in no uncertain terms that they may NOT tell someone that they are going to hell. Period. It is inappropriate behavior.

It wouldn't hurt to give the teachers a heads-up that your son is being harassed by other kids about his religious beliefs. I grew up in a secular household and put up with a lot as a kid because of it. It's not OK, no matter how these kids were raised, whether they mean no harm, etc. The teachers should be made aware of what's happening at the school.

If kids are regularly preaching and talking about church stuff in public school (??! This does not happen in our public school) then yes, tell the teacher you want her to announce to the class that school is not the place for that.

If it was a few random comments by kids: Let it go, who cares. I'd have fun discussing it with my kid actually in a "What did they say? Well some people think that but we don't" kind of way. No harm in learning how everyone feels about stuff...but if it was out of hand I'd say something.

hello
I think you will find preachy moments at every avenue in life.. That said, I agree that school (unless it's specifically Catholic or other aspects as such) should be left for straight up school studies, math, spelling.. etc etc..
however, because in life it will be hard to avoid situations where someone has such strong beliefs that they feel they need to impress upon others the righteousness of their beliefs... you could turn the moments into learning moments... so far you taught your son to respect other peoples' religion and beliefs.. so far.. so good.. but now, you can extend that into patience :) ... and too, learning to let some things roll off of one's back..
I am a Buddhist and my husband is Catholic.. my son goes to a Catholic school, honestly, even my son doesn't believe in everything the priest mentions during mass, but I tell my son... be open-minded and IF anything, can't hurt to learn more about someone elses' religion...
the more you know about that and of the person's culture, hey the more you can connect with others in the world..
so bottomline I wouldn't tell the teacher anything.. the kids will figure it out for themselves.. and unless someone in preaching killing and such.. then I don't think there is a need to say anything..

good luck in whatever you decide to do..

Well, the teacher would have nothing to do with aftercare. If something happened in the classroom once, I might just let it go but if it's happening repeatedly, I would say something to the teacher. He should not be harrassed based on religion or discriminated against in any way based on his religious beliefs which don't match another kid's. Young children will have the same religious beliefs as their parents, because they know what their parents or priest/rabbit/pastor tell them. While I don't approve of parents or clergy telling children that they are going to hell for their behavior, if that's what the other parents are teaching their kids, that's their business but it's not acceptable for another child to pass that kind of judgement on your kid and parents should be sure that their children know that. It's one thing for a kid to say, "I can't tell a lie because I'll go to hell" - another issue entirely if the kid tells your son, "If you tell a lie, you're going to hell."

I, an atheist, sent my kids to bible camp a few times. I just told them not to worry, they wouldn't be going to hell, and neither would I. I told them just to enjoy the good things about bible camp. They were reassured.

These are kids talking. I don't think you need to tell the teacher, unless it somehow progresses into bullying.