Where we live summer school is not for if your child did not do well, it is basically offered as something fun to occupy the child's day, although they do still learn things it is set in a less formal atmosphere, they offer a free lunch program and they go on a field trip once a week. Every year I have insisted my daughter participate and for the most part I feel like she has benefited from it and enjoyed it. Every year she tells me she does not want to go. Kristen is 10, she gets excellent grades, but she does not enjoy school that much. She gets anxious about school, no matter how much we assure her we just want her to do her best she worries over everything which has resulted in a terrible out break/flair up in her psoriasis that we are struggling to get under control. She has difficulty relating to her peers and does not really seem to have friends in her grade level. She spends recess's running the track
( her words) She is in great shape, down from having started to get a little on the heavier side from last year ( which was due mainly to inactivity and some of her food choices, but I never said anything bad about the weight gain) Now if anything I am worried she is too skinny and I think the running is excessive. I just want her to be healthy and happy and I do not know if she is getting to an age where the summer program should be a choice or not...my fear is even if she says she does not want to go that she will be bored at home, and she has always seemed to enjoy the prior years. This is the last year this program will be offered.
She should DEFINITELY have a choice! If she gets bored this year, then she'll know she wants to choose a different path next year. Plus, boredom yields to creativity in children! Don't let her fill her time with tv. LOTS of books, trips to the library -or if you can afford it the bookstore or get her a Kindle -swimming, other activities she likes (art, dance, movies, etc.).
What about sign her up for art classes? Or Theater classes?
Something fun.
Something different.
Something, with less stress.
Something that she may meet other kids with different interests, that she may connect with.
She is 10. Sign her up for something else.
Let her.
10 is a tough age for girls. The fact that she spends recess running track might suggest she's struggling to feel comfortable hanging out socially with the peer group at this school. Good for her for finding her own activity and being happy and successful with it. I'd give her a choice this summer, she might really welcome the change.
find out through parks n recs if your town has one and if they offer other summer programs, swimming, community work, etc. She may even be able to volunteer somewhere and learn something else, without be subjected to school. What are her interests?? She could also perhaps, if she is mature enough volunteer with smaller kids. Every kid is different, so find out if there is more out there.
How about creating a list of multiple options...let her know she does need to choose something(or you'll have choose for her)...but if it's at all possible, see if you can get to participate in the decision of what she'll be doing...keeping kids of ages active in the summer is hugely important so good luck with finding something together that she'll enjoy!
Also, I have some excellent suggestions that may very likely help with the psoriasis! Let me know if you're interested!
Best of luck
I would probably try to find some other program to get her into. You don't mention what she likes or even exposing her to some new kind of activity. There is a camp for everything under the sun here and some cost a fortune while others are moderate and others are cheap but ultimately you get what you pay for.
I would consider daring to do something different with her. Give her three choices and let her pick one. She is 10 and should begin making more decisions. It is good for growing up. We learn from our mistakes as well as our triumphs. I hope she has a fantastic summer. FYI - Some of the best summer camp experiences my son ever had were at various churches. You may want to look at that too. Please let me know how her summer goes and yours too. You soundd like a great mom.
What about alternatives? Daycamps, classes at the YMCA, classes through the Park District? I think your concern about her being board is valid. Summer is way too long. Maybe you could find something else that she would really like. She might even meet some new kids.
Oh course I believe she should have a choice.
My daughter went to the summer programs through the school for extras like drama, cooking, etc and LOVED them.
I think she stopped going around 10 when she was in process of making the transfer from elementary school to middle school 6th grade.
Still, we offered all kinds of programs for her to choose. I think the children should have a lazy day here and there do sleep and do nothing but not all summer long. My daughter thrived on having a schedule and things to do. As she got older, she managed more of the things to do with friends, etc.
You daughter is getting older, it is time to let her be in the decision process.
She's at the age where she needs to find herself. If she feels like she does not fit in don't make her do it. My son was in daycare at that age and he did not fit in and he had a hard time. We did a lot of praying and decided he was old enough and mature enough to stay home alone. That was the best choice would could have made for him.
Good luck with what ever you decide to do and God bless!!!
Are there other programs she can have a choice from?
The rule when I was growing up you HAD to be apart of something each week during the summer. At about age 8 or 9 we hade the pleasure of making that choice of what those activities were, we had to choose at least ONE active and ONE learning class. Options we had: tennis, swimming, softball, volleyball, soccer, dance, track, science/math class, art class, music class, and so on.
If she is eating enough, there is no problem with running. People run 8 miles or more daily, eat healthy and doing great.
I know Webb City is not big, but is close to Joplin.....other than school, are there any options that would work better?
& does she have friends at home....in the neighborhood? Or will she be on her own?
Since she's enjoying running/track, what about finding a track team oriented group....whether it's at the local gym/etc....to help fill her time. Contacting the school coach should also provide you with options you may not know about. By contacting the coach, you should also be able to help direct her current interest into using her skills productively, not as a tool for her choice for isolation.
As for allowing her to choose....absolutely! She's 10, headed for the pre-teen years! Simply give her a selection of choices which will keep her active & with kids (at least occasionally).....& I think it will all work out. She needs to find a best friend & then life will be much easier!
I always put my kids in up to 2nd grade. Jule is going in 2nd next year and I will make her go this year. Mrs Thomas is heading it this year, so I know it will be fun. But after that I dont. Your daughter is going to the middle school next yr, right? I have talked to the administration and they didnt say this was going to be the last year. I had heard that last year and the teachers said that was just a rumor. Now that my other daughter will be in 7th grade I want her to take PT so I am encouraging her to go this year. Its only 2hours. But I never made them go after 2nd grade.
If you don't have her signed up at the beginning of the term does she miss out entirely or could you send her after the first few weeks? I'm wondering if you could let her stay home & see how she likes it & if that doesn't work out then send her...? I do try to give my kids as many choices as I think they're capable of handling at their given ages. What to do over the summer vacation for a 10 year old seems like a reasonable thing for her to have input on to me.
On a side note, have you considered the possibility of taking her to a therapist to deal with the stress/tension/anxiety you say she's dealing with? Just a thought.
I wouldn't make her go if she doesn't want to. Also-keep your eye on the running. I know a child who was diagnosed with anorexia at 8 and running was one of her things she did. She would run after eating...sometimes just in circles in her room.
My daughter was an only child until she was 10. She got great grades, but I enrolled her in summer school, without fail, every year. She really liked it. They had drama and art classes, took field trips. It kept her days filled with things other than just hanging around the house. Also, at least here, the programs don't last ALL summer so we had plenty of time for traveling and camping and boating...all the fun vacation type things.
If this is the last year the program will be offered, I would have her go even though she says she doesn't want to. You can tell her it's the last year.
At 10, kids should have choices in some things, but not all things. I don't think summer programs hurt kids at all. It's better than staying home in front of the TV.
Even if the summer program is ending, many communities have summer recreation programs and day "camps" where they make crafts and do all kinds of different things.
If it was my daughter, I'd have her go the final year. Then, you've got another year after that to figure out how to keep her busy and entertained the next summer. If she has trouble relating to her peers, the summer program may be a place where she'll finally meet someone she clicks with.
It's just my opinion, but I'd have her go.
I would absolutely give her a choice.
I LOVED summer vacation when I was a kid. I loved being able to decide what I was going to do each day, and not having to spend each day doing what someone else thought I should do. It was the only time I ever felt I had any freedom, and it was awesome- wish I could go back :)
I spent time reading, playing with friends, riding my bicycle, running through the sprinkler, buiding forts in the woods with my brother, damming up streams (they were really small), looking for tadpoles, drawing/ coloring, trying to catch fireflies, puzzles, games, Rubik's cube -loved the 80's ;)
I'd add more, but this list is getting too long already-sorry, got a little carried away reminiscing...
Have you asked her what she'd like to do if she didn't go to summer school? Maybe she's not yet sure herself, but I would just let her know ahead of time what the limit will be on tv and computer/ video time. She might not know what to do with herself at first, but I believe that's when kids start to learn to be creative and learn how to entertain themselves. Or, she might just surprise you and come up with ways to spend her time easily.
Also having some control might help to alleviate her anxiety problems. Some kids (like me, my bro, my oldest son) are stressed by too much structure. Rather than being happy to have "something to do", it feels too stifling for us.
Anyway, for what it's worth, that's what I'd do.
Blessings
If she's not interested in going to this particular program find something else for her. What are her interests? Come up with a few options and let her pick one that she wants to do. Check into the YMCA, park and rec dept or look for a camp involving art, gymnastics, dance, theater, sports...something that interests her.
