Should I Continue to Stay with Daughter Until Her Postpartum Depression Is Over,

Hard to say. I think I'd let her doctor decide on this one.

I had baby blues - not full depression. I had a colicky baby too and c-section.

My mom came and my husband took some time off work. I became a bit 'too' dependent on them. That made it worse for me because then I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle it when they left.

I didn't have panic, but I did feel like What if .. and so the best thing for me was being left (with help on other end of phone) and finding out I could handle it.

But I had support nearby if needed. My husband took the baby the second I got home too and my mom left me with like a month of meals in my freezer. So if there's stuff you can do to help out before you leave, maybe. But this is more severe than what I had so I would clear with her doctor first - she should be evaluated.

For the sake of the child, I think you need to stay for now. Gradually reduce the amount you help and watch to see what your daughter is able to do. As she begins to do more and regains confidence, you can be gone more and more. Be careful not to do too much, making yourself indispensable but do care for the baby when needed. This is all about this precious child who needs to be loved and protected.

well, i don't know.

does she have any other support?

is she at risk for harming the baby?

what does the father of the baby have to say about it?

what is not getting done at your home while you stay with her?

have you made any efforts to get her support that doesn't involve you?

is she seeing a professional?

hard to answer a question this big with so little information.
khairete
S.

You don't give much info so it's hard to say.

For some women, post partum depression is short-lived and the feeling of being overwhelmed gets better when there's more of a pattern and the newborn starts to sleep a bit. The exhaustion can be overpowering. Having her do more and more things as she is able can be helpful.

Where is the baby's father in this? Will she be totally alone if you leave? Or is he around and is he taking an active role?

However, it does concern me when I read your "So What Happened" and you say you hope she will "stop this panic anxiety." Perhaps you didn't mean it, but it sounds like you think people just stop being depressed or having mental illness. They don't. They don't just stop having strep throat or diabetes or a broken leg either. It's a real illness and it needs real treatment, which is done by a doctor and therapist, and can involve medication, relaxation techniques, talk therapy or a combination of things. So expecting her to "just stop" is unrealistic and can be cruel as well as a trigger for more panic attacks.

So the best thing to do is to support her in getting help from professionals in her area. Start with her OB/GYN and also let her pediatrician know that she's a struggling new mom, and get the necessary referrals for her to get well. You can start by driving her and taking care of the baby while she has appointments, and you can also attend a session or two to learn more about what to say/not say and do/not do. Education will help you both.

S.,

Welcome to mamapedia!

Your daughter needs professional help. She needs to learn how to parent on her own too. Yes, postpartum depression is real and can get worse, but at some point she's going to have to learn how to deal with life. I know that sounds rough and cold, but right now, you might just be enabling her.

Being a mom for the first time is scary. I get it. But SHE needs to do this. You need to start weaning her off YOU and have HER take over. Have HER change the diapers. Have HER fix meals. You watch and observe. She DOES the work.

If she can't handle it? She can hire a nanny. Where is her husband in all of this?
Is she going to go back to work?
Is she going to be a SAHM??
WHAT?

There's NOT a lot of information here. SO we have assume what is going on.

Have your daughter get into a routine that works for HER and her baby.
Have your daughter make lists of things she has to do and when.
Make her check it off and DO IT.

At some point, SHE has to be the mom...

what brooke a said.. stay there, but slowly do less and less till you are only taking care of yourself. and keep helping as long as your child needs you

Your daughter needs to see a psychiatrist to help her with this situation.

You are only further enabling her to not get better. She needs PROFESSIONAL help.

You need to wean your daughter off your assistance. Not cold turkey, but tell her you MUST leave on 31 Jan 2018. During that time, she will start caring for her baby on her own. She CAN do it.

She starts changing diapers, making meals, and getting out of the house. You make sure she gets to the psychiatrist and takes her meds.

Get her OUT of the house. Go for walks with the baby. Sunshine and fresh air WILL help.

Her husband needs to get on board and help out.

You're going to have to go home sooner or later.
She should work with her doctor and get a good support group to help her through.

Why isn't she seeing a psychiatrist? She may need medication and therapy, more than you can provide to her, and more than your staying can provide. By all means, stay around until she has gotten help and is improving, if you're able to, but don't let it be a substitute for treatment. This is just a band-aid on a large wound. She may be feeling lonely (is her husband away often?), or overwhelmed with household chores plus caring for a baby, or both a lack of support and loneliness.

Does she work? Maybe she will need a nanny because she is concerned about going back to work on a lack of sleep and being able to function or she is scared of leaving the baby with a nanny at such a young age because of having to return to work. Maybe she is scared of the baby and her lack of experience, is experiencing issues with breastfeeding and the baby constantly crying from colic pains.

I went through all of that and eventually was able to move past it but I did need to get on medication for about 6 months or so. A doctor will be able to get to the bottom of what she is experiencing, talk to her about it, soothe her fears or find ways of resolving them, and perhaps put her on medication until she can manage her symptoms. I think someone's idea below of slowly weaning her off from your help and company may be good too. If she can see that she can handle things on her own and only needs you on occasion, she may just need to gain confidence in herself, but don't waive her seeing a professional either.

Sure, if you don't have to go back, why not stay?

Are you doing all the caring for the baby? Don't. She needs to learn how to handle the baby by herself. The baby is old enough for her to manage on her own. Have a calming manner with her when she gets panicky is important. Tell her to sit with the baby until she calms down. You just sit there too and don't try to do anything. Give her some time to calm herself down.

Anything you do should be support, not managing things for her.

Like the other ladies say, talk to her doctor.