Should I Change My Son's School?

Move him!!! Went through something very similar with my daughter in 2nd grade elementary school. She had two teachers in 1st grade who team taught. They recognized she needed extra work to keep her challenged and gave it to her. Her 2nd grade teacher was not so perceptive. It was the end of October, and they were still reviewing 1st grade. My daughter's neat handwriting had become chicken scratches, and she was bored to death. Because we were building a house in another neighborhood, I was able to move her to that neighborhood's elementary school. My husband and I spoke to the principal there, who hand-picked a teacher for her--a man who was retired military. He was fabulous!!! Best decision we ever made. Good luck!

I'm going to chime in and give an entirely different response...

By changing schools, what message are you sending to your son? That when life gets tough, and you have to deal with people you don't necessarily like.. you what? Quit your job? Run away? As adults we come across people we don't like, but we have to deal with it. We can't quit every job because we don't like the sound of our boss' voice. It's life. Get through it. Move on. The new school, clean slate thought is great, but I think the newness would wear off and you'd be back to the same'ol, same'ol. It's the nature of the beast with highly intelligent children.

I've been where you are. I have an 18 year old boy who is getting ready to graduate and middle school was AWFUL for us. Same thing.. really intelligent.. bored to tears in class and failing subjects that he could easily pass had he actually been interested, challenged or enjoyed the person teaching. You, as the parent, need to keep the kiddo motivated. Request that the school district test him to participate in a gifted program. I'm certain every district has a program of some sort. Be pro-active in his education, if the teacher can't keep him motivated, you have to... get creative.

I hope you find your answer and that your son succeeds. :)

I think that it would be in your son's best interest to change schools. Does he say "why" he hates school? Gosh, it's tough being a mom! But I can tell from your question that you are tired of the school, also, so if neither of you have a good attitude about it, I doubt your son will thrive there. I think it is worth a chance. But there is no guarantee.

My 8 year old son was having alot of problems at the school he'd been at k-2nd grade. He was diagnosed ADHD in 1st grade, but was already labled as a problem child. He only made it a couple months into 3rd grade before he was gettting suspended constantly. Basically the school didn't want to deal with behavior problems, so everytime he would act up, they'd send him to the office and have me come get him from school. He got to a point that he would get in trouble just so he didn't have to be in school. This was happening about 2-4 times a week! I had an IEP done on him and they actually suggested one of the other elementry schools in the district that was a smaller class size and more one on one interaction. I'm pleased to say that since starting over there after Christmas break, I've only received 1 phone call about behavior problems and they still kept him the rest of the day! You may want to consider changing to see if it will help!

Personally, I would change their school. My daughters were in a school right down the street from my house, and they liked it, but I didn't. I felt like they were not being challenged enough, and that may be the problem with your son. If kids are not challenged they get bored and lose interest. The new school they are in is wonderful. They love it there, they are constantly being challenged, but not too much. They'll bring home projects that my husband and I can help with, whereas in the old school, their homework was a one page fill in the blanks. They are doing really well, and I couldnt be happier that I changed their school.
I should also mention that my girls were reluctant to leave their friends, but agreed to go on the promise that if they disliked the new school, they could go back their old school. I guess it's a good thing they love it there, huh?

If the larger town has a variety of programs, I would look for the best fit for him. We have many different options in our district (language immersion, Waldorf, magnet schools, etc.). Maybe look into learning styles (there are books available that outline what they are), so you can make sure that you are putting him into a better situation.
Have you considered homeschooling? There are inclusive programs that he would work at his pace. Check out www.k12.com. They organize the assignments and have a schedule. They would test him to figure out where to start him. Some districts have public charter schools that use this curriculum for an independent study program.
Good luck!

L. we live in Webb and my kids dont actually like the school, but they do like their teachers and they have lots of friends. I am very involved with the school, so I know most of their teachers. I think Karen is right. activities, sports. anything. We had a basketball tourny for my 11yr old girl last night in Granby. We lost big. but fun. so keep trying to find an interest for him and maybe he will perk up. Or maybe he is bored with the work. maybe to easy. yaknow. where would you send him? What bigger school. Neosho. That is a good one and close. Well good luck and if ya ever wanna come to Webb its a great school.

I'm going to go with Petra... At age 12, he's old enough to understand the importance of an education, and he has to take some responsibility.

I wonder if he needs some additional extra curricular activities to get him excited about school. My daughter is in band and she not only loves the social aspect of being with others that she normally wouldn't hang out with, but the discipline of practice and managing homework have been a great way of learning responsibility. Sounds like his personality would be great for the speech and drama club. If your school doesn't offer one, is there a program close by for him?

I hope everything works out for you!

If you think moving him to a different school will help him, then by all means go that route. There is nothing worse than a child not able to concentrate in school when you know they are exceptional in their minds. Obviously this teacher is not teaching according to the way he needs to be taught. All children are different, but since there is only one teacher per classroom, they are all taught as a whole. It just doesn't work for some children. Can you change his teacher at the same school? If not, I would think trying to find a different school may be beneficial... though that may not even work. Have you thought about homeschooling? You can gear his curriculum around him and his learning style. Just a suggestion. I personally don't homeschool, but I feel it is a wonderful thing! Good Luck!

I agree with the mom who thought changing schools wasnt the answer. Sometimes it may be necessary to change schools but there has got to be a less intrusive and disruptive answer. Have you talked with the school about getting him an IEP (Individual Education Plan) or a 504? These plans can be put into place if the child has a learning disability, an emotional disorder, etc, etc. There are lots of reasons the child can get one. It helps protect the child from disciplinary action if the problem is due to some sort of condition. Have they had him tested for any type of learning disorder? Lots of kids with issues like Dyslexia, ADHD, etc, are very very smart, there is just some sort of obstacle blocking them from success. Also, if he is so smart is it possible he's just not being challenged enough? I would speak with the school about having him tested (it couldnt hurt), even if its not some sort of learning disability at least you know what the problem isnt, that way you can start narrowing down the possibilities.

I would suggest getting him involved with some sort of extracurricular activity but he needs to be performing well academically before he can be trusted with the responsibility of juggling school and other activities. But on the other hand, it may be good thing to get him excited about school, even if its not surrounding academics. It may help him to get his grades up if he wants to play some sort of sport. Usually the school doesnt let kids do extra activities if they are failing. It may be the motivation he needs. I hope some of these ideas help.

I dont know your son or the situation so I suggested some major issues the kids I work with need help with. I hope you find some help in one of the things I threw out there. You know your son best so you'll know which avenue would best suit him.

He sounds like he is not being challenged. Changing his school may or may not help though.
Have you thought of homeschooling him with online classes?
If you are worried about the social aspect of it, keep him in church activities and recreation sports.

If you can move , i would say absolutely ! go ahead and change schools, I am going through the same situation, my son is a very smart 9 year old boy who at this point not only hates school but is also terrified and have like panic attacks just to mention he has to go back for 4th grade, last school year his teacher bullied him and embarrassing all the time in front of his classmates and he definately doesnt have any good memories of his last year which he couldnt finished cause of the severity of the situation, however he did pass to 4th grade, and dont think i didnt complained every single time i had to the teacher and the Principal but that didnt take me nowhere , they actually call CPS on me cause my son was having too many absenses (he pretented to be sick just not to go to school) CPS close the case case was unfounded and my son ended going to therapy with a counselor and that still doesnt fix my situation with him, we had the coolest summer time at home , took couple mini vacations trips hoping that will erase those memories , and now that is time to go back to school i got the same nigthmare again. Dont know really my options on how to change schools , but tomorrow im going to the school central disctric to see if i can change his school , without moving , since moving is not an option for me at this point :(