She Doesnt Cry for Cry It Out

My advice is to try not to be so scheduled. She will sleep when she is tired, don't push her too hard. If she isn't crying and is content, maybe she is just enjoying the down time.

I think that if she isn't crying when she wakes up when she is supposed to be sleeping leave it alone. By default she will learn to fall asleep by herself, actually I think she's already doing it. After she wakes up and babbles for a little does she fall asleep or do you go in there? I wouldn't go in there I would just allow her to babble and see if she is able to fall asleep by herself. As long as she isn't crying I wouldn't worry about her waking up. She is fine just babbling and she will just fall asleep and what an awesome thing. It sounds like you've done a great job so far. Keep up the good work.

A., I am a child development professional with two grown sons. I love this web site and the issues parents bring up. Yours is very interesting and I know lots of people are reading it and thinking how lucky you are which you mentioned. Children regulate themselves normally with sleep once you know the signs they are tired. I think your daughter is practicing her new skills in language and rolling over when she is in the bed. Lots of kids do this because they are alone with no distractions. Aren't they smart?

First, now that she rolls over I think you can let her chose her favorite sleeping position. I think when you put her on her tummy you are waking her and she might not like it either that you are changing her postion. If she wants to be on her tummy she will flip over as she gets comfortable and deeper into sleep. I don't know the guideline for the "Back to Sleep" issue.

As far as talking goes...she is really practicing and that is so cute that she is so visual,curious and verbal. If she starts to whine that really means she is tired and I would not go in. Once you go in she learns that is part of falling asleep. I talk, whine and then mommy comes in. Having said that, if she starts crying for a while on her back and doesn't flip over I would quickly go in flip her on her tummy and leave--don't talk or touch her in any other way. Make it more functional--flip and leave. You may have to do that several times but she will learn. She will either start falling asleep on her back or learn to flip over on her tummy to sleep.

This is very interesting. Neither of my kids did this. My youngest son jumped up and down in his crib vigorously until he fell asleep. I had to warn babysitters because they were afraid the bed would break!

I would love to hear from you about what happens. Good luck. Moms need the naps as much as the kids! A.

I would let her babble and leave her alone (with you being able to check on her of course) to see if she will let herself sleep during naptime. If she doesn't fall asleep move up her bedtime just so she gets enough sleep, but let her have that quiet time during naptime. My son gave up his naps way too early (his 2nd nap was given up by 6mo. and he was done with naps entirely by 18mo.) but my doctor said that as long as he had that quiet time and got a good amount of sleep at night it was okay if for one of the naptimes he just had quiet time instead. Some kids don't need all the nap time and just need quiet time instead.

Hi! I used "CIO" with my son and it worked well for us. I dont think they have to cry, but if she's just babbling for 2 hours then maybe the timing of the naps is off. I think the key for us was making sure the naptimes were when he would naturally nap if left to his own devices(if he normally falls asleep in the stroller when out shopping at around 10am). I think I heard that at her age up for 2 hours is a good rule of thumb. so if she wakes at 7 and could use a nap by 8:30, maybe stretch it until 9 so she sleeps until 10:30-11, then back down again 2 -3 hours later around 1-1:30pm. It sounds like she's not sleepy when you put her down for whatever reason (overtired as some have said, or just happy playing), but you'll have better results and more consistency in her schedule (so you know when things will happen too) if you stick to what normally works for her. She may even sleep better at night. Best of luck - this sleep stuff is really hard!
A.

I think you are absolutely right and doing a great job in trying to get the sleep schedule right...just maybe take a longer view of things. If she doesn't sleep enough on one day b/c you didn't help by turning her or touching her, thats OK. More important at this stage than getting the "right" amount of sleep is that you don't set up a pattern in which she becomes absolutely dependent on you in order to sleep. You don't have to be rigid about this - like never touch her or help her! Just keep testing the possibility that she will be OK w/o you turning her or touching her even if it means she sleeps a little less on any given day. You will know when she is having a day when she need to "catch up" and it is very important for her to sleep.

I also agree with the suggestion that you tweak the schedule if she seems sleepy and cranky. Move up the naptimes so she is in the crib by the time she's sleepy.

Whatever you do just know as soon as you figure it out she will change. She'll start crawling or doing something else exciting and all your carefully laid plans will go out the window. But not really!! If you get the fundamentals right - helping her self-sooth and sleep - the transitional periods will be short and relatively easy.

Good luck!

hi i have been there my little one is six months old. i have learned that trying to make her take a long nap make her fight it more. so with mine for naps i feed her a bottle then hold her tell she fall asleep the i put her donwn. but not in her bed. i use a pack n play. she will learn that nap time is differnt and that she isnt missing anything. now my litle one takes about an hour morning nap and an hour afernoon nap pretty good and sleeps most of the night. and if she gets up its only for like an hour to eat and get her diaper changed. well i hope this help.

You and she are, absolutely, on the right track! How wonderful that her self-soothing skills are already so advanced. She entertains herself and is happy -- even when you leave her. Handle this the same way you would with CIO -- do NOT go into the room and do not attend her (unless something is wrong/illness/etc.) I hope this lasts for you!

EDIT: I saw some of your new notes and thought I would try to respond. You can't force a child to sleep (believe me...I currently have a almost-3yr old who is talking/singing through her naps!) I can't help but wonder if your daughter is over-tired by the time you put her down (which makes it even more difficult for her to fall asleep). Perhaps you should explore a slightly different sleep/napping schedule. I recommend that you get a hold of a good sleep training book and give it a try. I have had excellent success with "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Marc Weissbluth, MD.

Also, I would stop flipping her over. Once you leave her room, don't go back in. She'll either learn to fall asleep the way she flips, or she'll learn to flip herself back to the way she started!

Don't worry about her sleeping at nap time. If she is perfectly happy with being alone and enjoying her down-time I think that's great. She's going to be really good at pacifying herself and not being stimulated all the time. Let her have the time and continue to monitor her while she's having her nap time (via baby monitor). I remember reading that the best time for babies to nap is twelve hours from her best sleep time during the night. So if she's sleeping perfectly at 1:00 am - 2 or 3:00 am, her nap should be 1:00 pm - 3:00 pm.
One last thing...if she doesn't know how to roll herself over on her own, PLEASE do not put her down to sleep on her tummy. This used to be the way babies were put down too sleep, but pediatricians have found that babies put down to sleep on their tummies have a higher occurance of sudden infant death syndrome. ALWAYS put your baby to sleep on her back.

Let her be. She's happy cooing and babbleing. Please don't make her room too dark. They like to look around when they wake A bouncing mobile is nice to look at when she's no longer satisfied with the bumper pictures. Don't keep the house too quiet either. I made that mistake with my 1st child. She still wakes when a phone rings or doorbell etc. They adjust very quickly if you start when they're young.

I agree with most of the other comments. (1) Do not put your baby to sleep on her tummy. If she knows how to roll over on her own, fine. But SIDS was reduced by 70% after the education of putting babies to sleep on their back, not tummy. (2) Let "nap time" mean "rest" or "down time" for both of you. Your baby will probably sleep if she really needs it. And she is learning to self-soothe and play independently. (3) Leave her alone during those naps instead of assisting her.
It sounds like you have a real angel...ENJOY IT!!!

My middle son was just like that, (and still is). He would just lay in his bed and talk and coo, then fall back asleep. He's 4 now and he'll still talk or "read" until he's drowsy and then fall asleep. Be thankful that she doesn't need to "Cry" it out... I've been there and done that and it is really rough as a mommy. It sounds like you have been talking all the right steps and need to step back and let her figure it out.

I agree with the other responses...you can't force her to sleep and if she wants to talk and babble for 2 hours, that's what she will do. That is her way of winding down. She may eventually fall asleep, some days she may not. I also agree that you should definitely stop flipping her over. That is probably confusing her with you coming in there a few times to check on her. Leave the monitor on and stay out. You may need to change up the times, or if you try it for 2 hours and she hasn't slept and just talked, watch for signs of an earlier bedtime. My daughters have all been great and have not cried in their cribs either. I took cues from them about when they needed to nap and when they just entertained themselves quietly and changed bedtimes/naptimes accordingly. My oldest stopped napping during the day at 6 months old, but I would still put her in the crib and let her have quiet time twice a day. They have also all changed up the ways they sleep from time to time - on their back or on their stomach - so that's why I said don't flip her back!

You might want to reconsider your goal- Is it really for her to know that naptime is naptime (which is externally imposed and somewhat arbitrary)? Or is it to facilitate an environment for her in which she is able to listen to her body's signals and sleep when she needs sleep? Try being less bound by the clock and be observant of her early signs of tiredness so you can facilitate a sleep-friendly environment at those times. People have different sleep requirements and just like you don't go to be at exactly the same time each night and some days feel more tired than others, your baby will nap and sleep a bit differently each day.

As a former "sleep nazi" I can say with certainty that I wasted a lot of time and energy worrying about sleep "problems" that in retrospect didn't exist. They were just my son's unique needs and sleep requirements. Also fwiw I would never do CIO again knowing what I know now.

Oh my Gosh, I almost wrote the same question as you! My daughter does the same thing. She's 18 months old and we used the CIO method to teach her to sleep about a year ago. It worked wonderfully! However, she got too comfortable with it and now when I put her in her crib she talks to herself and rolls around and sometimes she doesn't fall asleep for two hours! It is so frustrating.
Here's some tricks I've been working on to remedy this:
1. Sometimes if I make her mad, she gets to crying and exhausts herself to sleep. I know, it sounds terrible, but I wait a half hour, and if she's way too comfortable and happy, I walk in and tell her it's time to sleep. She doesn't like it when I leave and then she cries and then she falls asleep.
2. I make sure the room is totally dark, I had to take all toys and stuffed animal friends out of her crib, and she only gets one blanket (she's old enough to handle one... your little darling probably isn't yet). I really had to cut down on stimulus in her crib. Yet, she still manages to talk and play though, even if it's with her own feet.
3. If it looks like she's just not going to fall asleep, I take her out and give her a snack. Sometimes a full belly gets them settled more easily into sleep.
4. If it just looks like one of those no-nap days, I put her in the stroller and go for a walk. She always falls asleep in her stroller. Then I wheel the sleeping babe in her stroller into the house, down the stairs (we don't have a landing), and let her nap in there.
Well, those are my suggestions. I've also read the other responses you got in hopes of solving this problem myself. I must say that the happy kid in the crib is a lot better than the wild-animal-screaming-like-she's-dying kid in the crib, but I hate it when she doesn't nap. It messes up the rest of her sleep for the day and the next day as well.
I wish you luck in figuring this out!

your problem is she is overtired. If she is waking up at 7, her first nap should happen no later then 9. That nap should last till 11, not just be a short mini nap. That is what you need to work on. Leave her in there until a full nap has happened.

You may also want to put some music on continous play, or a fan or some sort of background noise.

Then she should again be up no more than 2 hours and back asleep by 1. If she is overtired she will not be able to go back to sleep.

I bet that one switch will solve your problems immediately.

Remember: the whole point of this exercise is to help your little one to learn to self-settle. It's great if she babbles herself to sleep. Much much better to have that than hysterical crying, don't you think??? You can feel good about basically ignoring her being awake as long as she's happy. And be thankful that you don't have to worry about crying. A modified CIO is much better than just letting your kid cry for hours. If you let her cry (assuming she cries - if not, all the better!) for 5 minutes, then settle her, then wait another 5-10 m inutes and settle her again etc, she will learn to self-soothe a lot faster. But as I said... sounds like she's doing great and is perfectly happy!

my daughter does the babbling and as I call it chatting to her animals. I think it is fine. I would just leave her be and she will eventually fall asleep. I would put her in her crib and then leave her be and in a few days she will learn to get to sleep herself. Also she may need one more nap during the day. Many children at that age still take 3 naps and sleep begets sleep. Good Luck.