Sharing Custody of My 6 Year Old Daughther W/my Ex Husband

It is not unfair that you do not want her at his house if he is not there especially if the girlfriend is living with him. It is hard enough that you are divorced and have to be sharing her but why should she have to share the time she has with him with a girlfriend. If you are a stay at home mom I think she needs to stay with you and she can see him when he has time to spend with her.

Hi C.:
I happen to disagree with most here. I (DON'T) think your being unfair.I speak from experience,as I was a divorced mother of two sons.Your children,and their well being come first.I'm sure,when he left you and the children,he also was aware of that. Your children need stability,and a sense of normalcy. You need to provide A routine,as close as to what they're accustom.They need ONE ,GOOD stable place,they can call home. A place,they feel loved and safe.I never have believed,that separating two siblings,for any length of time,healthy,and I would imagine,at six years old,that your daughter attends school now. Would your husband,or his girlfriend be taking her to school on those days he had her? That alone,could become a real problem.What about those days,that she is ill? When she wants her mom to cuddle her? You really think,that (dads girlfriend) will suffice? I don't.You know C...The way I look at it is this. It's not as though,none of this crossed his mine,when he took his path.He knew when he left,that life would change.Things would be different.He knew,that he would be spending less time with his daughter. Now he's decided,that he should have it all? There is no court in the world,that would give 50% custody to a father,that has only two days a week to donate to his child. Not a one! There is a reason for that.Because the courts look out for the best interest of the child.In the courts eyes,The parent,who has the time,to raise them, gets custody. I have seen the result of children,that were split 50/50 and half the time,they didn't know if they were coming or going. I believe its important,that your daughter spend time with her father,but I don't believe,that you,her or her sibling,should have to sacrifice,your otherwise stable,happy relationship,in order to (appease him) Children and fathers,can have a good relationship Every other weekend. Your bending for him,by allowing him time with her during the week.I'd say your being more than fair.As far as his girlfriend goes. Your right to be skeptical.You don't know her.You want to know your daughter is safe in her care.There's all sorts of nuts out there,and you have good reason to question her capabilities and competence.I wouldn't quiz your daughter,after visits,because,she will feel she has to choose...between you and dads girlfriend. You don't want her to feel that way. No pressure. But you will be able to tell,if shes being treated right,as I'm sure her attitude about going to dads would change.The best of luck to you,and your darlin children.

Hi C.,

I think you are right in wanting to be with your daughter when your ex-husband is not home. My advice is to make sure that whatever custody agreement you two decide on, be sure to legally document it. I believe that any court would look at the situation you described above and would award you primary custody.

As a side note, I am the girlfriend in a similar situation as to what you are going through. While I would love to have my ex's boys with me when he is away for a long period of time, I also understand the importance of these boys needing to be with their bilogical parent.

To be honest with you, it sounds like your ex wants 50/50 custody to avoid having to pay child support which is a very selfish reason to have your daughter and she will be the one hurt in the long run. Get your custody situation legally documented for your peace of mind and for your daughter's sake!

Hi C.. This is a bit long but please read it.

No you are not being unfair by wanting your daughter with you instead of a girlfriend/babysitter. As I understand your post, this is the real issue.
From a legal stand point you and your husband have what is called "Right of First Refusal". This means that if either of you has to be away from your child for a few hours at a time (I *think* it's more than 3 or 4 hours) then the other parent has the right to "babysit" your own child. Providing daycare for your own child IS custody. This is a straight-forward legal arguement.
The girlfriend of your ex-husband does not count as a parent. If your ex is using her for babysitting, then ask for the Right of First Refusal.
To my knowledge and experience, there is no such thing as a true 50/50 physical split. One parent or the other has to have primary physical custody. That may mean something seemingly as insignificant as 51/49 but it makes a difference.
I have read the other posts and I feel for the adult children of divorced parents. It is important for children to spend time with both parents. I don't disagree with that.
Every situation is different and every family has it's own unique dynamic. Do what you can to find an amicable solution that is in the best interest of your daughter.
Sharing homes stinks but that doesn't mean that your daughter should be with his girlfriend while he is at work when she could be with you, the parent.
Divorce and custody issues are so ugly. Best of wishes and good luck to you. I know what you are going through.

You are not being unfair at all.
As long as you are a stay at home mom and are available, it only makes sense that your daughter would be with you.
If you and your ex live relatively close, why not have him drop your daughter on his way to work and pick her up on his way home on "his" days.............that way she gets the best of both worlds.......MOM AND DAD TIME ALL IN THE SAME DAY!
As long as you are not making decisions out of spite or resentment and your decisions are being made in your daughter's best interest, then it's all good. Just do a little self monitoring when you are deciding on these things to see where your heart is and what is making you want them, and if it's indeed for the best interest of your child, then it's a valid, reasonable decision.
I can see how a dad would want his child to bond with a new girlfriend, but until she is actually his wife, i would use caution as well and not let that decide the fate of whom your daughter is being raised by.
Good luck with it.
Have a great day!
S.
www.MomsOnAMission.US

I have gone through one of the most desparing, and relentlessly tiring and stressful custody battle over my daughter. Courts - lawyers, the whole 9 yards. Thankfully- In the end he only gets her one day a week after school for dinner- and every other weekend. We also have a clause of " first right of refusal" If I would like to do something, or need to go to work, and cannot spend my time with her, I need to call and ask- would you like to watch her- I have to do so and so, he can either say yes, I will watch her, or no, and I am free to chose who I feel is resposible enough to watch her. The same goes for him, he is not allowed to just leave her with a babysitter, girlfriend, etc. Until he calls and asks me. Ask for something like this. Its not mean, not unfair in any way- and gives you back your right to know who she is with and when. I was also lucky on one hand- he's not a law abiding responsible person, and I didnt even have to say that to the judge, she held his record in his hand. But even if he is a good father - a responsible adult that your child is not only comfortable being around- but loves to death because it is daddy- you are not stepping on anyone's toes by asking for the First Right of Refusal. Hope this helps~

Hi,
First of all I have been thru this. My ex and I share 50/50. Hopefully you and your ex can workout something. Regardless, he will have to pay child support. I stay home full time and he works. My children go to their grandparents, friends or childcare when its his time. First right of refusal haha what a joke. As I was told by the judge that is if he leaves out of town or overnight I can have them, but if it for the day its his time his choice to who gets them. If you want to email me I can go into this further. If he wants to take you to court you might consider doing a 50/50 BUT you get them for daycare and he can pick them up from you. Child Support can be based on true hours like u have them really 70% or they will pay you on a rate of 50/50 and extra for daycare. Really depends on the judge not the lawyers. Good Luck! Think things thru before going to court jist a huge waste of money.

I agree with you. Why should your daughter be with your ex's girlfriend? It would be different if he was married, but he's not. Your daughter doesn't need to get attached to someone who could disappear from her life. I agree that your daughter should be with you if you're at home.

What a cheek!! You tell him to forget it.
Of course she's not going over to hang out with the girlfriend! Custody time is for HIM to spend with her.
He sounds like he wants to cut back on expenses... Child support will go down when you go 50/50

For shame!

Tell him (sweetly) that you'd be delighted to do 50/50 when he is able to spend half the week with her himself, but not until. After all (tell him) what would YOU do without her!

I coordinate a program in Los Angeles County for monitored visitation. It makes no sense to have your daughter with the girlfriend without the father being present. Should their relationship change and she become his wife, then that will be another story. I hope that the two of you can work this out on your own. Remember, the goal is that you co-parent your child. Never try to alienate him from your daughter. You are both very important people in her life. Good Luck!

I think everyone mentioned the fact that you'll need to consider whether the girlfriend has been around for a while, in which case you'll need to be more flexible with your daughter spending some time with the girlfriend, OR if the girlfriend is new, in which case you could be more reserved as to how much time your daughter spends with the girlfriend when Dad isn't around.

As was already mentioned, legally, the girlfriend has no rights. The same is true with step-parents. And if you're only going to look at this legally, then absolutely your daughter shouldn't spend ANY time with the girlfriend if Dad isn't around. The problem is neither your daughter nor the courts will look at it as strictly a "legal" matter. It definitely would benefit your daughter to spend more time with Dad, and if that means allowing the girlfriend to pick up perhaps after school so that she's at Dad's when Dad gets home, it's definitely not out of the ordinary for courts to allow it, and your daughter would benefit from spending more time with Dad.

First Right of Refusal was also mentioned a lot ... from experience it doesn't work. Your daughter needs stability. First Right of Refusal only upsets a stable schedule. Besides, most courts no longer grant First Right of Refusal because it causes more problems between the parents. Most courts will tell you that each parent gets to decide who cares for the child during his/her custodial time. Besides, now's the time to discuss your concerns with her Dad and agree to a schedule allowing him more time, even if it's in the evenings when he's home and perhaps allowing him and/or the girlfriend to take her to school the next morning. If you don't agree to more time, and he does take you to court, the court is likely to give him more time anyway [your daughter's 6 now and most courts see it appropriate for children to spend more than every other weekend with the other parent after the age of 5], and if that happens, you won't get to decide how much alone time the girlfriend spends with your daughter anyway.

One more thing, someone mentioned asking the court that the girlfriend NOT be there when your daughter's with Dad ... that's ridiculous, especially if it's a serious girlfriend. And unless she's a serious threat to your daughter, there aren't many courts that would grant the request. As a matter of fact more and more courts are granting requests that anyone over the age of 18 be allowed to pick up the child because too many ex-wives/husbands weren't allowing the other parent's partners to pick up. If your daughter isn't being harmed, then allowing some transition time [such as after school and before Dad gets home from work] with the girlfriend shouldn't be a problem.

I guess it depends on who you ask....
As a single mom to a 5 year old girl, I could completely understand the situation, afterall, there are really only two parents here.
However, if your ex and his girlfriend have been together some time, and if the relationship is serious, it is not uncommon for him to want to share the joy of child rearing with her... getting the child used to her and vice versa. Perhaps move in/proposal etc is in their cards in the near future? Or he might feel that all in all, they are his days and he wants his daughter to be part of his life (his home, his parenting, his comfort) on those days, so she doesn't "forget" him.
I say this because I am close to moving in with my bf (this summer) and until now I am unable to watch his son (7 years old) and it seems pretty petty. I respect his ex wives decision but it proves to be more inconvenient a lot of the time. I think if his girlfriend is here to stay, it is definitely beneficial to the child to bond, even if it doesn't seem beneficial to you. We all just want to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted children and teaching acceptance, instead of ostracizing someone is part of it.

Now if the realtionship is still new, you have every right to be upset. Children should never be treated to a revolving door system of their parents mates. Only involve the children when it's serious. They crave stability.

Hello,
No, you are not being unfair. I too am divorced from my two older boy's father. In my court paper it states that I have the first right to have my children when their father is at work or has to leave them for a long period of time .I am a stay at home Mom also. Stick to what you believe in. My boy's are now 17, and 13, they were 6, and 2 at the time of my divorce. Is your divorce final? or are you in the process? Sometimes they just want the 50/50 on paper to save money.e-mail me if you have any questions. My boy's alway's say coming from a divorce isn't that tough, I think because I have alway's put them first and have put things aside when there father could not see them on his custodial time. Good Luck.

If you know she is not being in harms way with his girlfriend, then you need to let her stay there with her if that is his time with your daughter. That is his time with her and if he does not spend it with her then that is his problem. Your daughter knows that you are her mom and you do spend time with her and that is all that matters. As long as she is not being abused by the girlfriend you need to just let it be, and go on being the parent that is there for your daughter. In the end it will be best and you wont be the one who tried to tell your daughter she couldn't see her father.

Nope. Stick to your guns. You are her mother and it's best she is with you. I suspect your ex is doing this for financial reasons. Hang in there and talk to your lawyer.

M.

C., I don't speak from personal experience so I apologize for even speaking up here. What I understand from a friend who is now an adult looking back on how her parents handled things....you want to do your best to comply with the 50/50 split instead of make an issue out of the fact that your ex is working some of those days. Let him have his 50/50 split as much as you can possibly allow. Your daughter will be grateful that her mom let her have that time. Your ex doesn't have the privilege you do of staying home with her full time. He will cherish the days he comes home from work to his dear child happily awaiting his return. The other point my friend made was that having to split holidays was terrible--eating Thanksgiving dinner 2 times the same day, for instance. She wished that she could have fully enjoyed her time without having to jump up and go to the other house just when the fun was beginning.

There are so many unknowns here....
Is the girlfriend a serious live in long term gf or is she new? Is this a financial issue for anyone??? If you split 50/50, does that reduce his child support payment to you?
Here's what I think;
Above all else, the little girl comes first. You may not be in love with her dad but she should be allowed to love her daddy without pressure or guilt. Daddy should get his visitation. Is the girl friend a freak of nature or something? Is she evil, hurtful, malicious? If not, then let her be a special friend to your daughter.
The new woman that comes in to your ex husband's life
won't be a bad person! Remember, he chose you to marry and have his daughter and you must have had something special at one time.Let him be a father.
I dated my husband for 3 years before we decided to get married because he had 4 daughters. I knew when we got together it was not one heart that would break if we broke up but 5. He was the custodial parent and I love those girls as if I had birthed them myself! (They are all grown up now with the last one in High School)
Your daughter could benefit from this special woman in your ex husband's life. Another person to love her, Oh my!
I hope it all works out for all of you!
Good Luck!
C.

I think you are right and not being unfair! He doesn't even see her when he is not home so why should he even care? I would rather cut off my arms then have a stranger who may or may not be hostile to my child watch her. Do not "let this be" as some have suggested! This is your child and while you need to be fair to her dad and split custody, there is no reason why a new girlfriend should watch her. Maybe he can pick your daughter up after work or something.
Good luck

I understand how you feel. Its sad that your ex would introduce his daughter to a new girlfriend. Kids get attached so easy and she has been thru enough.

I highly doubt the court will award him 50/50 if he isn't at home. They want kids to be with their parents and not a babysitter. It would be different if they were married but even then you should be first priority.

What if you did a 60/40 split or allow him some overnight visits? You could pick her up from school and he could pick her up after work. I would give her as much time as possible with dad and see where things go with the gf. If its his weekend, maybe the gf could pick her up from school. It is important to be flexible, but the gf doesnt factor into custody,

If they get married, you will need to allow her the stepmom role. Just remember it is hard to be a stepmom. At this point, do your best to keep your daughter first.

C. this is just my opinion but i think that your totally right i dont think that its right for her to be with his girlfriend when your home. does she even have kids of her own? if not she probably doesnt know much about parenting plus you dont know how she is with your daughter i would let him take her when he is at home and on days off cause the whole part of 50/50 is for him to be around them and spending one on one time with her i could see if they were married or something but i think your right go with your instinct

Hi C.:

So long as there are no issues that would endanger your child, my suggestion is that you propose that during the times that he is at work, that you provide the daytime care for your daughter. That way he can come as close to a 50/50 timeshare as possible with your daughter getting the benefit of not having a non-parent babysitter.

M.

Dear C.

I would not allow any changes until I knew more about the relationship w/the GF. If and when it gets serious, THEN I would entertain the idea of more time w/Dad -- not necessarily 50/50 because then the child will not know which house is "HOME." If your EX's relationship w/her gets serious, it will be important for your daughter to get along well w/the girlfriend. Don't worry, only YOU can fill the "mommy" shoes. Moms cannot be replaced. If the relationship w/the GF is new, then I think his motives may be financially driven. Good luck.

Yes, I think your being unfair. I know this is a sensitive issue, I know because I have personal experience in this area. If he wants 50/50 custody then rightfully he should have it. You can't control what goes on in his home and if he is seeing someone, you should want your daughter to be comfortable with the girlfriend in order to have a healthy relationship with her dad's girlfriend. You have to keep in mind to do what's in the best interest of your daughter as oppose to what you want. Your daughter should be able to have equal time with both of her parents. Having an "active" father in the picture is a good thing, trust me, you wouldn't want to be raising your daughter single handed wishing you had the support of another parent. As long as the girlfriend is not a bad influence (drugs, alcohol, or abusive) then it's a relationship that will happen sooner or later. I know it's hard but just remember, it's not your dad but your daughters and she deserves to have both of her parents in her life equally. Take care and I hope this helps.
M.
(FYI- I am a psychiatric social worker with a specialization working with children and families in the fostercare system and children with mental illness. I have 3 kids, divorced, and my children spend time with their dad as much as they possibly can. Also, they like his current girlfriend---it gets better.)

most parents work and have 2 days off, doesn't make them bad parents. your child needs to learn about extended family now. my sister has to drop her child off to her dads, but he is not home since he works many hours during the summer. so his mother watches her.

Is there a problem you are concerned about that you have not mentioned? I would suggest to allow him the time to be with his dughter and you the time away from her evenly - especially if he is requesting this. Its hard to have an absent parent want to share custody 50/50 in any relation ship-ex spouse or ex girlfriend/ex boyfriend. What exactly is stopping you from wanting your daughter to spend that time with her father? is it the new girlfriend due to jealousy or insecurity on your part? or is it a threat of your daughter not being safe or unsupervised? You can not control what your ex does or doesn't do on his time with his daughter, nor can he control your time with your daughter. Step back and look at the broader picture of the pros and cons of this. If it turns out to be healthy for your daughter and her father and you with some time to yourself then better for all of you involved. If he decides he doesnt or cant do this then at least you both know you gave it a try. By all means continue to be a concerned parent but not a control freak over your ex- I dont mean to be harsh but I had to look at it the same way whn my kids were small and unfortunately they soon realized their father really didn't want to spend time with them, he only wanted to impress the new girlfriend who turned out to be a Godsent for my daughters and myself...my kids and his girflfriend(now wife)built a gret friendship during this time due to their father just seemed to dump them on his girlfriend and her parents everytime while he went out with his friends....losing his chance to build a realtionship with his daughters-this also showed his girlfriend what kind of a parent he truly was and they appreciated the fact I allowed him a chance-even now that they are adults: we all know his real reason for asking more time with his kids and he blew it....but no one can ever say I didn't give him the chance.....and his wife grew to understand why he was my ex-good luck

Dear C.,

I agree with you. If you are home, I think she should be with you.To me, is sounds like a moral issue, too. Are they living together, or would it be like a babysitter relationship? If they marry, and she becomes a step-mother, the dynamics change, but right now she isn't "family" - and why should his daughter be with his girl-friend when she can be with her mother - no matter how much he may think he loves her, girl-friends come and go . . . she needs to be bonding with her mother, feeling secure in that relationship during the turmoil of her parents' split, not becoming attached to someone who may move on next month.

Good Luck!
B.

You sound like a wise and caring mother. Kudos to you for being willing to work this difficult situation out with your ex-husband. It is your job to keep your daughter safe, and listening to your instincts makes a lot of sense. A relative stranger may not necessarily have your child's best interests at heart. Have you considered exploring what other options you have with a family couselor or your lawyer? Or possibly with mediation? Good luck to you.

My parents divorced when I was 4. DO NOT be unfair. Split the custody. It is only confusing and difficult if the adults make it confusing and difficult. You need to give it your all to make it work for your daughter. As you said, he has far less time with your daughter than you do because he works full time and you stay home. She has two parents, and they no longer live together. Not her fault. Daddies are very important people, and most of them work full time. It seems really unfair to say that he shouldn't have equal time because he is working and you are a stay at home mom. What if it were the other way around and you were the one with the full time job? Would two days a week be enough for you? Do not be a roadblock or it will backfire on you in ways you cannot begin to imagine.

I agree! First of all GIRLFRIEND and secondly NEW? She has no rights to your daughter. Your husband does, so it should be fair as long as he's home. But what is the point - just to make sure that she DOESN'T have her own mother half the time? Ridiculous! I don't know what a judge would say though. Good luck with everything!

I don't think you're being unfair. I think it's perfectly logical to think of that arrangement, but I'm sure he wants his time with her, even if it's just her being at his house with someone else.
Why don't you consider asking him to pick her up from his way home from work? Or how about you dropping her off close to the time he'll be home, so she doesn't have to be there with the girlfriend by herself.
It must be so hard, of course, because as a mom you want your child's every waking moment to be peaceful and perfect, so it must make you crazy to be going through this.
The most important thing is to be civil in front of her, so she doesn't end up resenting both of you later. Be strong! Take care!

i don't think you're being unfair, because when she's with her dad she's getting daddy time, there is no need to spend time with the girlfriend if the dad is at work, especially if you're at home. the whole point in your daughter going to her daddy's for two days is to have daddy time not daddy's girlfriend time. so i'm totally in agreeance with you. i am currently dealing w/the same situation w/my son and he just turned 12.

I am a divorced single mother of two. Age 11 and 4. I share custody 50/50 with dad even thoguh he does have a live in girlfriend. If the girlfriend is good to your child and willing to take on the extra time and energy that it involves to take care of a should then I say you should let her. Children should be loved by whomever is willing to give the extra love. It takes a village to raise a child

I do not think you are being a bit unfair. It makes absolutely no sense for your child to be there while he's working?? Especially since you are a stay at home mom. Why would you want someone else keeping you child unless it was her father. Now, days that he is not working, then ok, he should be able to spend time with his daughter. Don't be hard on yourself. Good luck to you.

Your not being unfair and have every right to feel the way you do. I would suggest that you let be though, you would not want your daughter to ever come at you and say you kept her from her father. Children always side with the parent they do not live with, this I know first hand, my daughter is 5 and she thinks her father walks on water. As long as the girlfriend is nice and treats your daughter with respect, let her go. As she grows older she will find out for herself the true facts but right now we (me too) just need to let them know we love them and that WE will always be there for them, ALWAYS.

No, your not being unfair. And if I'm correct, any judge would see it your way. Doesn't make sense that your child would be with the father when he is not even there a majority of the time. Especially when there is a "girlfriend" and not a wife. You just have to get you ex to agree...which, from what it sounds like, is not going to happen.
You just have to explain that to the judge and I'm sure it will go your way.
Good luck and stand your ground!!!

Hi C.,

What is your current custody arrangement. Changing it to 50/50 from another style such as you with custody and him with visitation , would require new circumstances.

Firstly, you need to contact an attorney if you don't already have one. Should your ex demand 50 % what is the reasoning. Courts have a way of balancing out time between parents. But in this case I would be cautious of what your previous arrangement is. How does the new 50/50 benefit the child.

Sometimes courts don't mind if a child is with the new wife or girlfriend/boyfriend of the parents. They are assuming that the parents are of logical mind and are prepared to make good decisions on whom can be around the child.

My issue here is why the 50% what benefit does it do your child ? Your ex ? Does it reduce child support , it may. Does it allow his new family bonding time ? Is that important to your child ?

Why does he want 50 ? Just say no until she's older. A year or two will allow her to mature.

Hope this helps.
K.

Hi C.,

If I were you I'd go to court (get an atty to help you) and request an order that when your daughter is with your ex that the girlfriend not be there or that she never be left to be cared for by the girlfriend. I would think it would be well worth the money!!!!

Blessings,
D.

Dear Mom,

Maybe the father could just spend the afternoons and evenings with your daughter. The bigger question here is how long has the girlfriend been in the picture and more importantly - how permanent is she? If she may be a potential stepmom and is reliable-- you'll have to let go of the situation. To the contrary , I would suggest you go to mediation through the court system . Remember to always keep your daughter's highest good as your intention. Good luck .

Is she not in school? If she is in school while he is at work and the stay is only temporary with the girlfriend, then I don't see an issue as long as they are serious about possibly getting married. NO Child should be dragged from potential girlfriend to girlfriend/ boyfriend to boyfriend. It only causes more confusion in the child's life.
On the flip side your daughter does need to have him in her life as much as possible. 50/50 is VERY difficult. One of my friends daughter (who also happened to be one of my former students) did the 50/50 thing and it caused a lot of confusion and took its tole on her education as well. It's just too much back and forth. My recommendation is that you start out with her being with him on his days off and if those aren't weekends then do every other weekend. When he takes a vacation let him have her and never ever deny him visitation because that ONLY hurts your daughter.

Hi Christine,

No, you are not being unfair, she's your daughter and she needs to be with her mommy and/or daddy whenever possible. It is incredibly important that children be protected from as much of the ramifications of divorce as possible and loss of time and relationship with either parent is harmful to kids. Kids thrive when they have strong, healthy relationships with both parents.

Since you currently have more time with her, I would suggest you come up with a flexible scheduling plan where you let your daughter go with her dad when he's available to care for her himself - even if it's your custodial time technically. If you live close enough to each other you can offer that he could pick her up on his way home from work so they can have dinner together and time overnight, then he can drop her off at school in the morning and you can pick her up from school.

Explain to your ex this is not about being "fair" to anyone other than your daughter. She lost out in this whole deal and now it's up to you both to make things as good as possible for her. Making your daughter sit at his house with a "sitter" for lack of a better word, when her mommy is willing and able to care for her is ridiculous and cruel. On the flip side, seeing her daddy just two days a week is also painful for a child, so I would do everything I could to make sure she gets to see both parents daily if possible.

Obviously, in order for this to work you will have to be cordial and flexible and since it doesn't sound like there is much conflict between you, it shouldn't be that hard.

Good luck!

K.
mommywood.com

I was the same way with my ex and my kid, but now I know it was issues that I had. Your ex will love the fact that his daughter is home waiting for him when he gets off of work. If the girlfriend is good to your daughter, it should be ok for her to stay there. Test it out, see how it goes. If you see a problem address it. With the 50/50, make sure she has 1 place that she can call home (your house), so make it more like 70/30. But most of all, keep the peace if at all possible.

hi,
i feel for you b/c it sounds like he is just being spiteful...I think a mediator and/or judge is likely to agree that it would be silly for your girl to be cared for by someone other than you or her father if you are available. Also, remind him that 50/50 parenting time works best when the child is older. At such a younge age, mama time is imperative!