Sex While Trying to Conceive

I remember my friend going through the same thing with his wife. He felt like he was just doing a "job" not really having sex for the sake of pleasure but for a specific purpose. It's the mindset. Maybe put on some sexy lingerie and make it more about wanting to have fun than needing to make a baby. And remember this when you are worn out from taking care of two kids and hubby wants sex as soon as you get them down. Then the tables will be turned and you will feel like hubby does now.

Stop "trying" to make a baby. It's the first month so you need to relax because THAT is as important as fertility. It took my husband and I about 1.5 years, but he was living in another city so I only saw him every other weekend. When we switched to every weekend, it took less than 6 months to conceive.

Have sex a few times a week. Whatever your "regular" routine is, keep that. Maybe add a bit when you're fertile, but don't make it a "have to" because there's no woman out there who would put up with "my husband says I have to have sex when he wants it.".

We all know you want to achieve a pregnancy and you have your eyes on the prize.
Your husband would probably enjoy being seduced as oppose to be treated like a stud horse.
We went through 4 YEARS of TTC before we got help from a fertility specialist and finally got pregnant.
It's possible you might not get pregnant right away - so pace yourself and remember to have some fun.
You are married to each other for many reasons and only one of them is to have children together.
So try your best to be sweet to each other and be patient.

Perhaps the beating of your biological clock isn't the sexiest sound he is hearing lately. If when having sex all you are focused on is having a baby, it's not very sexy or endearing being used as a tool or a weapon of mass production.

Perhaps if you would be more focused on helping him feel wanted, desired, beyond the means justifying the ends. He would be more willing to oblige the drive of your biological clock.

Relax, take the edge off and learn how to be fine with having or not having another child. I would have loved another child with my husband but it doesn't look like that is going to happen, so I have to be happy with the hand I'm dealt. Relax and work on making him the center of attention and not the getting pregnant thing because no one likes to feel used.

My guy likes it when I tell him, "You. Bedroom. Now." but we are both long past baby-making.
I can see where if you were having to plan your sex around a calendar, it could start to feel like one more item on the "Damn Things I Gotta Do Today" list.
Maybe a bit of kink would spark his interest.

If I were you I would take a break of several days before I had sex again especially the way hubby is feeling.

Go out on a date and enjoy each other and then come back and have a memorable relaxed evening together.

Putting pressure on making a baby puts everybody's system off.

I asked about a comment hubby made when we were considering a baby and I said to him, "You know what you said you would do at X age?" And that night I got pregnant. We weren't really trying it just all lined up on the first try.

Now that is not always the case. So just go back to being a couple and back to your old routine and it will happen sooner rather than later.

Good luck to you and hope you conceive soon. Let us know.

the other S.

PS If we are all saying the same thing in different words, there must be truth in the numbers. We are not trying to be snippy we are just trying to relay our experiences trying to get pregnant and what we did to enjoy the journey to baby. Yes we are often blunt and to the point on here but why do we always have to sugar coat things? Life is life good, bad and ugly.

I just started too and am going through a similar thing! It's normal but I agree with everyone to not turn it into such a big thing. Easier said than done I know :) Good luck!

I can relate. The kits are good at pinpointing exactly when you need to get busy :) I think for us it was just 2/3 days and I kept it light and didn't expect the works .. I didn't beg, or feel rejected - but remember, for guys it's all about having fun. The minute it turns into work I think it's not quite so fun ... :)

Good luck!

You two should watch this movie together:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She's_Having_a_Baby