I totally get what your talking about! I had this bad too! I battled it on my own and it was hard, but I got through it. I would come home from work and freak out because there was a sock in the middle of the floor and it would escalate from there.. I was like totally out of control, and I felt so guilty because I couldn't stop myself from feeling the way I did. I felt like a horrible person. I started serfing the Oprah site and was looking into "self help" books,.. I found this one from her book club list called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It's actually more like a workbook and it opened my eyes, taught me how to see things differently,.. its an easy read too so you wont feel overwhelmed. I highly recomend it, it improved many areas of my life, work especially (I had a co-worker from hell!!)
I also want to warn you about those anxiety meds,.. I would try alternative medication first (teas, natural remedies, walks etc,..) Xanax is HIGHLY addictive meant for very short term use, actually my co-worker from hell that I meantioned before? She was HOOKED on the stuff, messed her up! She couldn't stop taking the stuff, it was sick. I advise you to read up on and perscription drugs before you take them, Xanax and other anxiety drugs are on the high rise, some of the most abused drugs out there. Please please read up on it. You cant just stop taking Xanax either,.. you have to wean yourself off of it so you don't experience strong withdrawls, the drug is that strong. This drug,.. is anything BUT mild!
You can beat anxiety without having to resort to drugs,.. If you don't teach your self and your body to calm itself down, you aren't learning anything. I see you have a new little baby,.. my co-worker use to try to get me to take some pills home,.. I had a new little one just like you at the time, and she would tell me,.. "Just make sure your husband is going to take care of the baby for the night, because it's going to knock you out you wont wake up or hear a thing!" I couldn't do it even if I wanted to, I couldn't imagine my baby crying and me not being able to help/hear him. The thought just made me sick.
I just have to say, it kind of sickens me to see all the responses for telling you to go get on drugs,.. its such a major problem in society. Anytime anyone has issues or have a problem they are prescribed something! It really makes me sick,.. no offense everyone,..but really it does. I have seen so many, too many loved ones enter and reenter drug rehanbs and fail them due to drugs, perscription drugs,.. many of them took Xanax and drugs like it,.. its a problem,.. its a big problem.. And I personally don't think ANY drug is safe to take while breast feeding.. Use you're head,.. if god didn't make it to put in your body, DONT PUT IT IN YOUR BABY!
Just remember you CAN stop yourself,.. You just have to keep trying..
Sorry for the long message,.. as you can tell I feel very strong about this!