I want advise on what I can do to make my son do his homework. He is a senior at school and has decided to not turn in his school work for one class. He is currently failing that class. On his other classes he has A and B's. He says he dislikes his teacher but that is not an excuse. If he doesnt pass his class he will not graduate. I have grounded him from almost everything but that doesn't seem to motivate him!!
Thank you so much for all your responses. They have all been a great help for me at a very difficult time. I have talked to the teacher and we are going to work it out were he can turn in some of his work. I also talked to him and told him that I wont be able to talk to his teachers when he is off to college!!! He did work all weekend on his work and turned it in today. He said he was just being lazy and thought he could catch up without any problems. He also admits to not liking her or having respect for her. There has been some past issues. I did tell him that no matter if he doesnt like her he needs to do what it takes to graduate. He isnt hurting her he is only hurting himself. He agreed. Thank you so much for all of your help and advise.
Hello I.,
Instead of grounding him for not doing his homework offer incentives for finishing his assignments and a big reward for graduating with top grades in his class.
I drove a school bus for 9 years and children go through trying times through out their young years.You might have better results with / (you do you get).
Hope this helps,
V. C
I take classes at UT, and I have one class that goes against most everything I believe in, and the TA for the discussion part of the class is completely unreasonable, arrogant, condescending, and does not care on whose beliefs she tramples. While my main goal is to show Christ's love to everyone in this group, if this young lady pushes too hard, she will find that she is pushing against a solid wall and I will be the one to pay the consequences. That's the key, though - I know what the consequences are and I know where my line is. Your son has drawn a line. Do you know exactly why he drew it? I doubt that it is just because he doesn't like her. He has probably had other teachers that he didn't like but he didn't stake his graduation on them. I think that someday you are going to hear the rest of the story. Because he is old enough to make this decision, yet young enough to not be really considering the consequences, I would consider that my main role. Tell him that you have grounded him and tried almost everything because you have been scared for him, but that you are going to trust that he is making this decision for a reason as long as he understands the possibly huge real consequences - a stalled life if he does not find a way to make up this credit. Let him know that you are completely on his side to help him both stand for who he is against those who would push him around and to help him keep moving forward with his life purpose despite one who wanted to push him around.
I.,
I'm sorry to hear your son is doing this. It can be so hard for a mom to sit back and watch her child not do as well as you know he can.
But I agree with Karen. If he fails, it will be his decision. There isn't anything you can do to force him, and grounding him may just make him resent you. As Karen said, be supportive and offer resources if he does decide to get this class back on track. That is about all you can do.
I wish you well, this is a hard time for a parent!
I have the same with a Freshman and who was not adjusting to HS English well at all. And Only English. First and foremost I have reiterated again and again, that this is the "Big Leagues", everything counts now and it is time to take on responsibility or answer for it later. I agreed to change classes out of Honors to On-Level since she complained about the teacher, with the promise that we are to see some improvement. This past first 6 weeks she did a step better but I do see some motivation.
While it is hard to instill self-motivation in our kids I think it is imperative for them have motivation to continue successfully on whether it be college or the working world. But they also have to know that there are consequences for not doing your job...and that I think, is what your son will need to learn...It hard to sit back and see them fail. But like others have said, it is up to him now.
I wish I had some kind of advice for you I.. I have a step son who is a jr who is also not doing his homework and making all kinds of excuses about it. We have heard everything in the book as you must have as well. If you get some good advice about this please forward it my way.
Have a blessed evening!
I have just the thing for you. work from home!!!
D. Mattern
The MOM Team
Raising your income and your rugrats at the same time!!
www.formyrugrats.com
"The only thing that counts is faith, expressing itself through love." Galatians 5:6
Its senior itis" time. meaning seniors are tired and ready for a break. Have you tried talking with his teacher? sometimes there is a conflict that your son hasn't told you about. Boys esp. tend to be that way. Have a calm straight up talk with your son, then go talk with the teacher. I betyou will find a way to help him with this problem if you do. Dee O
At age 16 my son decided to drop out of school. Nothing my husband or I tried worked. We allowed him to drop out, but said that as long as he lived with us he would now be responsible for food, clothing, car insurance, gas, etc. He decided after about a month that it was time to go back to school. He eventually graduated, 6 months behind his classmates.
My best advice, as hard as it is for you, is to let him fail and then make him face the circumstances. It is the best way for him to learn to take responsibility for his own actions.
Hi I.,
I totally understand the anxiousness that you are feeling about your son. Getting this far through high school, and then blowing everything because he doesn't "like" his teacher? Can there be a more irritating thing for a senior to do to his parents?
But here's the bad news: there's nothing you can do about it. He's stakes his claim, and he is the one who will feel the pain when he can't graduate.
I talk with parents about this very kind of issue all the time. And here's what you need to do: Let it be his decision. Stop the groundings. Tell him he is old enough that he should and does control his own future. If he wants to graduate, he needs to make sure he passes this class. Tell him you're happy to help him do that if you can - hire a tutor to get him back up to speed, help carve out a study time, sit with him while he groans through the homework. But also let him know that you know you can't control his behavior, and you can't pass the class for him. Then follow through on what you said, and let him pass or fail on his own.
Hopefully he will surprise you.
Would it be possible to switch classes? I'm thinking that if he is an A/B student there probably is some merit to his not wanting to succeed in this particular class with this particular teacher. If he is a senior, that suggest to me that he is old enough and apparently smart enough to decide if this teacher is not right for him. Although you say its not an excuse, maybe, just maybe, this teacher really is crummy. If that truly is the case, then kudos to your son for standing up for his beliefs, and kudos to you for raising such an intelligent young man.
Just a thought.
Margaret:)
Have you tried putting him in some counseling?
Your son appears to be suffering from senior-itis! As a high school teacher I see students "infected" with this disease every year, especially around Spring Break. If he is passing his other courses, he apparantly has the potential to do well in school and has simply made the decision (for whatever reason) that he doesn't want to pass this class. At this stage you probably can't force him to pass which means he will have to face the consequences of his decision eventually. Hopefully he will realize he is making a bad choice before it is too late and his teacher will allow him to make up his missing work or complete extra credit assignments. If not, he will find himself in summer school. Either way he will learn a lesson that may serve him well in college and in life.
I have a sophmore that has the same problem when she doesn't like the teacher. When it gets close to the deadline she becomes concerned. Unfortunately, life teaches us great lessons, and although I hate it when people tell me I need to let her fail it is what needs to happen. We can't do the work for them. We can't continually bail them out when they make bad choices. Failing a class and not graduating with your friends is a very hard pill to swallow but is easier than getting fired, losing a house due to financial irresponsibility, or any of the bigger life issues he will face later in life. If he makes the choice, he pays the consequence and although it is hard to do you must let go of the fight, make sure he knows the consequences, pray, cry, let him make the choice and experience the hard knock. If we never let our babies on the floor for fear they will get hurt, they never learn to walk. If he wants to be a man and make his own choices then he also needs the chance to live up to his responsibilities or suffer the consequences. Good luck and God bless.
