Selfish or Something Else?

Hmm. Has he been watching a lot of t.v. lately? T.v. does both of these things: makes kids want more stuff (they see it all the time in the commercials), and makes them bored with everything (they don't know how to get and remain actively involved in things because t.v. does all of the entertaining for them; it's easy. It's also very flashy compared with real life, and seems almost designed to create short attention spans).

Reducing screen time (not just for him, but the whole family) will probably resolve this behavior. It will also resolve the family time issue - even if you did baseball practice with him, maybe he's wanting more time with you guys, in general. (Which is great!)

For more information on the effects of t.v., video games, etc., read The Plug-in Drug by Marie Winn. Amazing book.

L.

Congradulations on being cancer free. I am so happy for you. But Your son is still reacting to your illness. He didn't understand what was going on but knew that Mommy was not herself, ( no matter how hard you tried to be NORMAL). Some kids in this situation will react with selfishness because they are still afraid of loosing you. They set up a defense that will seem like pushing away but it is thier response to PROTECT THEMSELVES. Keep giving him the attention & reassurance that he needs & check with his teacher to see what else can be done to UP his attention at school.
This will pass soon but you still have to be firm with him to keep giving him the love & boundreies that keep him safe & grounded. For just a little while his whole world was shaken. & he wears his heart on his sleeve. He loves YOU more than Life it's self.
Lots of hugs even if he pushes away are more than wanted they are very needed.
Love, hugs, prayer & energies to you & your family From a Home in Texas

Your son is going through a phase. He's poutong because he wants the toy. Don't give in, otherwise you would have started something that you will have to continue.

A., i think most kids go thru these phases. You just have to stand firm in the things that you say. As far as school is concerned, be sure he really isn't bored. Some kids that are really sharp will get bored. I did and it made it very hard to stay attentive. Talk to his teacher to be sure that she keeps him busy if he completes assigned work quicker than the other kids. Keep in mind that he may have just figured out what "bored" means and how to use the word. He may just be testing it out to see if it works and what kind of reaction he gets from you. If he's bored, maybe he can get the "toys" he wants. LOL. Kids are so funny. No worries A., keep taking him to baseball, he'll have a blast in the end. Tell him you're sorry he's bored, suggest things for him to do and if he doesn't "bite" then tell him if he doesn't want to take any of your suggestions then just sit on the couch and be bored. He'll find something that interests him....Enjoy, it's just a stage. Good Luck, R.

the boredom could be that he is so bright. If he already knows the things they are going over in class, it would be very boring for him while it is new and exciting to others. Speak with his teacher and see if there is an advanced class or something that could keep him learning and on his toes (if he gets to bored he might start getting in trouble).

The toy thing is probably peer pressure. If his other friends have toys that everyone else think is cool, he might feel left out or not 'cool' if he doesn't have the toys as well. I agree that he is old enough to have an allowance and maybe he could 'work' to get some extra money if you have it to spare.

As for the saying he hasn't spent enough time with you, maybe it is b/c he enjoyed spending so much time with you before he went to school and now he is missing that time with you. It could also be, from the sounds of everything else, that peer pressure or other kids picking (kids can be very mean whether they mean to or not)and he is feeling the stress of it and wants the comfort of his routine and his mommy.
Whatever it is that is causing it, I hope that it works out well. Growing up can be so stressful!

You might have a couple of problems going on here. Frist the work at school maybe below what he is able to do , you might want to have him tested to see what is IQ is. Also ask the teacher if there are any kids who needs so help that your son might be able to give them. He also maybe getting bulled because if his smartness and because he looks like he is have a hard time money wise. Kids can be ugly to each other and your son may be trying to found a way to fit in. Have a long talk with him and see if you can get to the root of the problem.

I have to agree that starting him on an alowance is a very smart chose. I just have to add that ALONG with the alowance comes responsibilities and that is why he is getting an alowance. Say, making his bed is .05 a day, and if he doesn't make his bed for a day, then it is deducted at pay day. this will also help ensure that he won't get the idea that he gets money for free. Also if there is something he wants that is more than what he has, then he can do extra chores for extra money. I also agree that cutting way back on T.V. will help. instead of t.v., play a memory game, or learn sign language.

This may sound harsh, but I think he just needs to learn to deal with it. I think a lot of explaining just coddles him and doesn't help. You have to look at the big picture, IMO. When he grows up, he'll have to know how to get himself "un"bored, and how to deal with not having everything. I think you should just tell him, "Tough. You don't get everything you want", and move on. I don't think he's selfish, and I do think it's a stage. But I think too much explaining, and too much sympathizing, can turn it into all about him, and turn it into becoming a selfish person. I like the answer about giving him options when he's bored, and if he just wants to pout about his life, just saying, "Fine, then. Just sit there.".

Im glad to hear your cancer free great!!! I also have a boy who is five and is in kindergarden ( he is the youngest in there because of his b-day is in September) but, in preschool he would get in trouble he is a pretty good kid besides being a kid. I talked to him and talked to him finally I talked to the teacher and she said he was just plain bored he already knew the work so, he would be talking or doing something else and get into trouble. So, your son maybe way ahead of everyone else and the teacher needs to address that.
Second thing is he is five. LOL My son right now is going through a phase. If I say "NO" to a toy or something not even worth getting mad over he is getting upset. But, they have to learn the word "NO". Explain it to him he is five he will understand if you put it in his language.
Third he does need to learn how to play and entertain himself at him. Im just going by what Im going through right now and EVERY KID IS DIfferent.......=) Good Luck....

Blessings and congratulations on being cancer free!!!

It is very hard to not spoil our children but it sure does sound like your little boy is trying to pull all the strings to just get what he wants. We buy our kids lots of things but when the attitude isn't right - it stops and I remind them that they can go to the kitchen and get a sack and put everything they have they aren't happy with in it and we'll go donate them the very next morning. This is usually a quick fix. If they're too tired, offer to do it with them. He is also old enough to start on an allowance. That has always been a wonderful way for us to get passed the "I want that (everything they see when we are shopping). Don't start too high - it's not like they have expenses. A good rule is their age. For him $6 since he's six. You decide once a month, twice a month, each week, whatever is good for your family. They learn to get excited about getting their own money and they can learn how to save it up for items. When they see something in the store and want it, you can ask if THEY have enough money for it. Don't advance allowance money - it teaches them to spend before earning it. One of our children is just about to enter college and is GREAT with money and I hope by starting him on an allowance at an early age, it helped. He manages his money very well!! Our daughter does wonderful also and gets so proud of her savings. Then she buys something special! I definitely buy all their basics (clothes, school items, ...), but if it's not birthday, Christmas, they have to save for the majority of extras. Have him do little things to help earn his allowance (help carry groceries in, check the mail while you watch, help empty dishwasher). Good luck!!