Seeking Out Moms of Children with Autism in Lake County, IL

I live in Gurnee, woodland school dist. We have monthly Woodland autism support meetings-ofetn with invited speakers. You can also check out this website for other groups http://www.asperger.org/areaSupport.asp?sltState=IL The website isn't the most current, as I know easter seals just opened an autism school in Waukegan that isn't listed. I also didn't see SPEAC which meets 2nd or 3rd tues at warren township.
My other 3 kids are older or the same age (twin). They understand how different their brother is and how he often needs calming and redirections and prompts rather than time outs (although my ASD son is smart enought to purposefully misbehave and then he gets a time out--he also sometimes puts himself in a time out when he's having a rough time). The siblings help their brother, they don't get jealous of the different treatment because they realize they have more priveleges and freedoms that he has (and they also don't have to eat his restricted diet or take the icky liquid vitamin/supplements). Point out the benefits. Even by age 3, my daughter could understand she had to help her twin and be his guide. Hope this helps!
B.

J.,
I feel for you. My sister in law struggles with this balance as well. She has an 8 year old who has special needs (not autistic - but nonverbal - developmentally delayed) and an almost 6 year old with a strong personality. My older niece will sometimes hit and slap or pull hair and she has had to teach my younger niece why she does this and how to respond. My sister in law has been amazing & asks advice from the various therapists and teachers in my niece's life who have helped a lot.

I think it will be important, as time goes on, to make alone time with each child so that your younger child can enjoy some time with you without having to always be understanding of his older brother's challenges. At the same time, your younger son needs to be made aware of how your 4 year old communicates/behaves & how what is acceptable for your older son may not be acceptable for him. This is not an easy lesson - esp. at three years old! Have patience and show him that "to he who is given more, more is expected..." - As he grows older, you will be able to show him that even though different behavior is expected from him, he also has different privileges. (for example, my younger niece can go on playdates without mommy and my older niece cannot.)

Although it is a tough situation, I believe my younger niece will be a much more enlightened, empathetic person because of her older sister. At her age now, she takes pride in taking care of her older sister and making sure that she is included in activities & that makes us so happy to see!

Hello J.,
I live in McHenry and have a 4 year old son who has Autism. I just finished reading a great book called, 10 Things Autisic Childred Want you to Know. It was very helpful for me to know how to communicate with my son. We now have days with no meltdowns. Perhaps it would help you to talk to your son.

Remember Austic children do no see the world as we do, have patience. You need to find out what sensory issues your son have so that you can make his world calmer and happier. You will be amazed at how the stress level in the house will drop.