Seeking Other Mom's Who Have Delt with Thier Child Self-harming

Hi
I found this and thought it might be helpful

If you self-injure to…Deal with anger that you cannot express openly, try working through those feelings by doing something different – running, dancing fast, screaming, punching a pillow, throwing something, ripping something apart

If you hurt yourself in order to…Feel something when you feel numb inside, hold ice cubes in one hand and try to crush them, hold a package of frozen food, take a very cold shower, chew something with a very strong taste (like chili peppers, raw ginger root, or a grapefruit peel), wear an elastic rubber band around your wrist and snap it (in moderation to avoid bruising) when you feel like hurting yourself

If you inflict physical pain to…Calm yourself, try taking a bubble bath, doing deep breathing, writing in a journal, drawing, or doing some yoga

If you self-mutilate to…See blood, try drawing a red ink line where you would usually cut yourself, in combination with the other suggestions above

Good luck

Hi S.,

My sister is self abusive. She didn't start this until she was about 20, but she is diagnosed with depression.

Her feelings are very sensitive and takes a lot of the small stuff to heart. We try to make sure she eats well balanced meals, drinks plenty of water, gets out to do some fun things, and gets plenty of exercise. Otherwise, there is not much we can do. She has been hospitalized for not eating, which wasn't easy. We had to tell the operator that she was diagnosed with depression and that she was trying to harm herself by starving to death, otherwise they told us she is an adult and can choose not to eat. It is difficult to deal with, but all you can do is take things one day at a time.

Best of luck.
C.

I don't know what her therapy consists of... but many have the child express themselves and learn how to... which is good.

But ALSO, what I think is important... is for the child to also learn "coping skills" with any negative feeling they have.

Perhaps, learning suitable coping skills... can help her process her feelings better and to learn how to take control of her impulses... redirecting it into more constructive and positive ways.
Self-harming, in my understanding, is a coping thing.. but in a harmful way.

Many times, kids do not have "coping skills" or never learned it. It has to be taught. It takes time... to learn any 'habit.' But I know self-harm is a complex issue.

Here are some links:
http://www.therapistlocator.net/families/Consumer_Updates...
http://www.kidica.com/raising-children/teen-health/teen-d...
http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/teachingandlearning/library/...
http://www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/teens/health/mental_healt...
http://symptoms.wrongdiagnosis.com/cosymptoms/indecision-...

All the best... I hope for a rainbow for her... all kids need hope... it must be hard for her too.
Take care,
Susan

Talk to the therapists about what is going on. Follow their treatment plan for her, even if it includes going on medications or being hospitalized. It sounds like she is very troubled and may require close monitoring in order to become stabilized. Just make sure that the therapists can tell you who to contact when they are not in the office (their on call procedure...you will need this for times when it is outside of regular office hours and you need to contact them.)

Best of luck,
J.