Seeking Moms That Have Had a C-section and Also Have a Toddler

A.,

Not to scare you but my first C-section was a horrible experience, but it also had to do with the facility I was at. I have had 3 c-sections due to my firstborn was in a breech position for 1 1/2 months. My second C was an elective, but it was the safest option for me and baby and was so much better at recovery time - they actually got me out of bed and moving - very key to recovery! I was still sore and had the limitations of no driving for 6 weeks, but I also had help from grandparents - very very helpful when recovering.

My third was also a C-section -again, the safest option. But... when my date came to go into the hospital I was experiencing back labor which the doctor said was worse than regular labor.

Again, I had help with the changing and taking care of my other children, but my ages range 11, 7 and 3 - so there were 4 years apart. But I tired easily and needed many naps and it was helpful to not have to worry about someone taking care of the other children so that I could nap and not worry about them.

I could only do my stairs once a day and then had to stay put. It's also very important not to do a lot - even moving around tires the body easily. I was tryign to clean off a pool table full of papers and I overdid it and started bleeding very heavily - enough to scare my husband and myself. But it all takes time!

Hope I didn't scare you too much or gave you too much information.

L.

My kids are 21 months apart and I had c-sections for both. I was very lucky that my mom stayed with us for two weeks. By three weeks, I could run errands with both kids on my own. I found the second c-section easier to recover from and was teaching aerobics, again, by 8 weeks post partum.

I also had a c-section by choice for my 2nd delivery due to complications from the 1st! I was prepared for the worse with recovery, but it really wasn't that bad (except for a few weird blood clots 2-3 weeks after). My 2 1/2 yr old was very good and understood that mommy had a "big boo boo", and she had to be very careful around my stomach. I had help for about 3 weeks after I came home from the hospital (my husband, mother 'n law, and mom each took a week). They pretty much took care of the older one while I took care of the baby. I had several friends who'd had c-sections and I followed their advice... take pain meds religiously for a good week after the c-section (it's much harder to control the pain if you don't stay ahead of it), don't lift anything heavier than the baby & her carrier, and limit stairs as much as possible (I came down in the morning and went up at night... that was it for 1 1/2 weeks). You will do fine!! Good luck!

I had a c section with my now 2 year old. I am having another baby here in a couple of weeks. I would normally be having another csection, but I have requested to have a vbac instead. The csection recovery was sooooo rough. I can't imagine how it would be possible to have to recover again from a csection with a toddler to care for in the mean time.

If you have 24 hour help from family, then it might be possible. I would not recommend it at all! It's worse than you'd think!

I had 2 c-sections and both turned out fine. With both I had a drug called duramorph in with my spinal. It is a pain medication that you have that lasts about 24 hours. I was so comfortable after surgery that I could lift my butt off the bed when the nurse asked to check my pad. The only down fall I had with it is that it made me itchy. So I just asked for benadril for the first 24 hours. After the first 24 hours I took only one pain pill because I didnt like the way they made me feel. That was enough to keep me comfortable. I walked all the time. I would push the isolette down the hall with me and walked. They say it helps you heal. My insurance paid for me to stay in for 4 days with my son and my second c-section I stayed in for 5 days just to get that extra healing and help with the baby.When I went home Tylenol was enough for my pain. My son was 28 months old and I just told him from the time I really started showing that when mommy had the baby I would have a big boo boo on my tummy and that I wouldnt be able to pick him up but that he could crawl up on my lap but we just had to be careful not to hit mommys tummy. He to could get up anywhere so we had no problems adjusting. We just made sure to give him his time with us still and make it a family adventure. I did have help for about a week and a half after I came home. I knew that I did to much by how much heavier I would bleed, so then I knew it was time to stop for the day and take it easy. The Dr said not to lift anything heavier than my babies. They were 10 lbs and 10lbs 8 oz. I had no problems taking care of them it was the getting out of bed. So I slept in a recliner for the first 2 weeks after surgery. After 2 weeks I was cleared to do most of my normal routine just not to over due it. Just try to set up for some help the first couple of weeks. You will do great. Congrats and good luck.

Hey A.,

I had 2 c-sections, the first was an emergency, the second was elective. Let me tell you recovery from a c-section is ROUGH. But everyone is different. I had a friend who popped right up afterwards and didn't need additional help outside the normal new Mom stuff. For me my first took 6 weeks to recover, the second was faster and took 5 weeks. If you easily bounce back from colds or surgery then this might be similar.

I needed full time help for my toddler (he was almost 3 at his sister's birth) for 2 weeks. And I sure could have used more. I personally moved very slowly, was very tired after any exertion, and was tender to the touch. But I was able to go to the zoo and walk around 2 weeks out. But I had other people there to care for my son, there was no way I could have done both kids by myself at something so ambitious. But walking and exercise is great for recovery.

Also I HIGHLY recommend wrapping your belly in some way for 6 weeks postpartum. Either an ace bandage, bike shorts, or an abdominal binder (ask the hospital for one). I didn't and I soooooo regret it. I had horrible complications from my abs separating in pregnancy and they never came back together. I had to have it surgically repaired which was way worse than a c-section. Wrap yourself, line up help, and good luck!

You have a lot of different dtories and advice below. The best advice I can give is to do what you feel is the best for you. I have had two c-sections. My first was an emergency and my second was suppossed to be a planned c-section but my daughter decided to also be another emergency c-section 3-weeks early. My first c-section was easier because I was exhausted and it was 24 hours of labor already. My second c-section was a bit different. They applied the epidural in the surgery room which was not the same as my first that was given in the birthing room. One big thing I cannot stress enough is to raise your legs or feet! Bend them! If you need a chair or something then have the nurse get one for you. If our legs are up it's easier for the spinal or epidural to go into your back. The room my first time didn't seem as cold as the second time. The room the second time didnt have music but the first time it did. I will defintely be asking for music in the future! It was so much more relaxing with it than without it!
If I had a choice I would try and go natural and then if it arises that you can't and you have an emergency then have a c-section. My recovery was hard with my first surgery. I was bed ridden 3 months before birth and 6 months after! Not many people have had that happen to them. My second baby I wasn't bed ridden at all and I was back up on my feet a couple weeks after. They don't want you climbing stairs for a couple weeks after surgery. Usually they us staples on your incision and they will emove them before you leave the hospital. You can also be in the hospital for up to 5 days or more depending on your insurance and your doctor.Use that time to sleep and heal. You may want to be with your baby 24/7 but this will be your time to sleep and heal before returning home and being full time mom etc. You don't have to be a hero!Good luck if you have anymore questions I can do my best to answer them but every situation is different.

wow you've had alot of responses but here is my 2 cens. My daughter was 15mo when I went into have my son. She was a vaginal birth with some complications, but we decided to try vaginal again with this delivery. After 18hr he was an emergency c-section. I was up and about sooner and with less pain after my c-section. One thing I can reccomend is a belly band, most baby stores carry them. It helps hold pressure on the incision site and makes movement easier. You will probable need help for the first few weeks, as mentioned in sme of the other resposes your not suposed to lift anything over 10lbs (for me tht was really hard since the baby was 9lb 3oz at birth) but after the first few days I was ignoring that order with no complications. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Actually i'd skip the 18hr of labor and go right for an elective c-section if I could do it again.

I was in the same boat 7 years ago. My kids are 3 years apart. I thought the c-section was a breeze. I was a sore for a few days(felt like mensteral cramps kinds) and had to watch doing stairs, vacuuming and lifting, but it went great. I do have a great husband who was home for at least a week to help out. But the only advise I can give is don't push your recovery. It will take a few weeks to get totally back to your routine. So follow the doctors advise. Don't be scared, it takes only a short period of time and you have this beautiful child. As far as the toddler, you can't lift for a while, but you can do alot of snuggling on a couch or something.

Hi!
I had a planned c-section with an 18 month old at home so I know what you're going through. It will be very important to rest after you go home to recover. Do you have someone who can help out with the toddler? You will need someone to hand the baby to you, do not try to pick him/her up. In fact, don't pick up the toddler or anything else for a while! Don't do the stairs in your house in you have any. if you do, get a diaper station on each floor adn try to only do the stairs once in the morning and once at night. If you don't take it easy, you could end up back in the hospital so PLEASE try to get some help!

As far as during the surgery, they put a sheet in front of you so you will not see anything. Don't be afraid to speak up if you are in any pain or any discomfort. And that goes for after the surgery as well! If the pain gets too bad, then it will take a long time for the pain meds to work so take what they give you as soon as any pain starts. Believe me, this will aid your recovery!!

I don't want to get too graphic but no one told me this before my first c-section so I want you to be totally prepared, you will bleed (vaginally) after the surgery. It may be a lot or it may be a little.

If they give you morphine, it may make you throw up or ichy. They can give you medication for this too so make sure to tell the nurse!

i hope this help and doesn't scare you, I think it's better to know this stuff before hand so there won't be any surprises! Good luck and just remember that having a healthy baby will make it all worth it!

D. L.

My DD was almost 3 when my twins were born via c-section, it was my second one. You will be amazed what your toddler understands. i still had her go to daycare everyday since I thought a c-section and twins was enough for me to handle daily on my own. I did have some help in the beginning from my mom and best friend. My recovery was quick and motivated. I was sitting up in a chair about 12 hours after surgery. I told them as long as the chair had wheels that would take me to see my 4 week early twins in the nicu they had a deal. I was moving around slowly but well by the time I left the hospital. I told my toddler that my had a hurt tummy from the doctor taking the babies out and I couldn't pick her up but that she could crawl up on the couch and sit with mommy any time she wanted. We also got a bunch of step stools so she could reach things like the sink, the potty, see the babies on the changing table, anywhere that you notice yourself giving your toddler a boost. Of course we ahve about 6 step stools everywhere but it's worth it. Good luck!

Jenny

First of all I know there are a lot of responses here but I do need to share a little information with you. My son was extremely emotional and did not know how to handle the fact that the baby was taking most of my time and attention. He is a boy and tends to be rough and I was afraid of him hurting me. Ofcourse he would not mean to do it but my solution was to include him and talk to him even if I didn't think he understood. He does not talk yet either and he will be 3 in march. I just said I can't pick you up right now. I would not say the word no. Because that seemed harsh to him and would freak him out and so I avoided saying no and just saying that I could't do it right now. While the baby slept, even if I was tired, I would ask him to come sit with me on the sofa and watch a movie with him and cuddle him and involve myself into saying things about the movie. The first day was hard.....but I prayed for the Lord's help. I do believe my prayers were answered. I just did not want to make my son to feel rejection. It has been almost nine weeks. My suggestion is that you take it slow for 6 weeks. No matter what you do, do it slower. Also one thing that I am not sure if anyone mentioned to you but there are two things that I learned that help so much after your c-section. I have had 3 c-sections and was only told once about each thing....it does upset me because hospitals need to get this information to their patients. The first one is to make sure you look forward, not downward and breath alot while getting up and when walking. I don't know why this works but this I learned with this last c-section and it helped alot. The second one is pull yourself up using your arms. Get up from your side with your elbow push up and use your legs... your thighs to get up. This will help you a great deal....and don't forget to breath. Don't worry too much. It will not be as hard as you think. Just tell yourself that you can get through all of it and you will. I only had my husband around for part of the day and so I really was by myself. So you can do it! Be blessed!

My experience was similar to the others. My planned c-section was extremely non-eventful compared to my first failed trial of labor that ended in a c-section. I healed much faster and was up walking around the first day.

We hired a babysitter part time for 3 weeks which was wonderful.

If you are able to hire a sitter or have someone help you, my suggestion would be to make sure they understand that your son needs to be their focus and helping you and your husband keep up on the house instead of helping with the baby. Also, if you are nursing, it's really helpful to nurse out of your toddler's sight when possible since your two year old will want your attention.

Good luck...it's a challenge those first few months!

Just as Mary described in her note below, the type of anethesia made a huge difference for me. During my 2nd c-section, they used the "duramorph" during my spinal block. I didn't have it for the first c-section...and WOW! what a difference!! The day after having my son, I was ready to jump out of bed. I felt great! Although, I almost scratched some of the skin off my leg because I was so itchy. (I refused the Benedryl and I should have taken it.) But my recovery was almost pain-free -- especially during those first few days. Perhaps you can ask your OB about the anesthesia decisions.

No drains or anything complicated to worry about! The day you are being discharged, the OB will come and remove your staples. (No -- I never felt the staples in me during the hospital stay.) Then they'll put little tiny bandage strips across the incision. You will not be able to get them wet for 5 days (I think it's 5 -- I could be wrong.) Then bandage strips will fall off on their own, or when you start showering. I never experienced any bleeding or pain from the incision at all. Really, there was nothing more to think about regarding the incision (other than letting it heal for 5 days without getting wet.)

As for putting your child in and out of crib, I'm not sure what to tell you. If you can have someone else do it for you during those first two weeks you have help, it would probably be best. My child was younger and lighter. Hence, I did it anyway.

My first born was 15 months old when I came home with my newborn son. I can honestly tell you that the only restriction I followed was the no driving. I tried my best to not pick up & carry my 15mo old, but that really wasn't possible. During my first 6 weeks, I walked, I grocery shopped, I took the kids to a music class, and resumed life. But after about the first 3 weeks at home, I started very heavy bleeding (I think that was the day that my first born peeled her diaper off and rubbed her poop into the family room carpet!!) My OB was very irritated, threatened to send me to the ER, and told me this was due to my over-activity. I had no choice but to slow down. (I wasn't in pain or anything...but I didn't have this much bleeding with the first c-section.)

Please try not to worry. I've been very happy with my c-sections, and I can't imagine how anyone gets through the pain and recovery of a natural birth :) (some of those details sound mighty gory to me!) After coming home, you'll continue life as best as possible, but in moderation. If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Very Best Wishes!!

I had an emergency c-section with my only son. I may have to have another c-section with my current pregnancy (but I have the option to do a VBAC). I know how you feel about feeling overwhelmed of what is to come.

With my c-section I was very limited in mobility afterward. A c-section is major abdominal surgery. It is not a little thing. You will need to recover. I did have pain and soreness afterward. It was difficult to walk up and down stairs. I felt stiff around my abdominal area. It was difficult to do too much. I didn't know when to slow down or let things go. I was stapled at my incision site and I ended up with an infection there. I don't know if this is due to the staples being made of nickle (which I am allergic to) or due to over doing it.

My best advice, is to have the extra help you will need. If someone offers, take it. Possibly having your mother or MIL come to stay after your baby's birth, will be a great help. She could help with cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. All the things that you don't need to worry about after having a newborn and a c-section, but you will anyway.
You may also want to have your husband take a few days off after you come home. He could take care of your toddler and have some much needed bonding time with both of the children while helping you out. Another option, would be to have a babysitter come in to help you for a few hours each day for a week or two after your delivery. S/he could entertain your older child and get things you need for the baby. This could be a younger cousin, a friend's sister/brother, or someone you found though a babysitting website.

My total recovery took a few weeks. I did have a set back with the incision infection. I started to feel better, and could do a little more once my son was about 2.5 weeks old.

I WAS TERRIFIED of a c-section -
I used to be terrified of needles - I don't like them much - but I deal with them if I have to - but I WAS TERRIFIED of the c-section -

It was wonderful - and I'd do it again in a heartbeat...

my daughter is 3 now - but if I had to do it again - the fear is gone -

i took the drugs and i nursed - whatever about not taking the drugs - but about day 3 I took myself off because I really didn't need them anymore!!!

I drove shortly afterwards - even though they tell you not to - because I had cabin fever - but really - it was WONDERFUL -

good luck - and really, don't get worked up - think about hollywood - EVERYONE in hollywood does the c-section - looks like they must know something...

I suppose it depends on your pain threshold and how well you heal in most circumstances.

I had my second c-section with my second child when the first wasn't quite two. She walked well and could climb into seats and so forth on her own so it wasn't a problem when it came to not lifting anything heavy.

I just took it easy and walked slowly to be sure I didn't over do it. My hubby hung around the first week to help me out a bit, but I still cooked, fed the kids, and so forth.

I heal quickly and do tend to have a high threshold for pain. I was walking around the night after my surgery with little pain. I had to go slow mind you, but I was fine.

First, remember every day is a day closer to feeling better!!! I had a c section with both my deliveries, my children are 23 months apart. After they get you up to use the bathroom for the first time, try to get up and walk as much as possible. This is the best recovery! The more you walk the sooner you'll recover. You will learn the c section roll out of bed, and the c section shuffle. It sounds strange, but you will be rollong on your side to get out of bed, they'll show you in the hospital, and it will make a big difference with the discomfort from the surgery. There is no way around over duing it with 2 little ones. My biggest downfall was I bled for about 1 1/2 months after. My Dr. knew it was over doing it, and wasn't alarmed because because I told him. We had a 2 story, so I tried to have double of everything downstairs during the day so I wouldn't have to go up and down stairs too much. You'll do fine. Listen to your body. The discomfort from the surgury will ease up every day. Try to take a nap when they do. Don't worry about the housework or laundry etc., rest as much as you can when they do. My first was a very active boy, and he turned into my little helper fetching diapers and blankets and small little things for his little sister!! After about a month I was pretty much back to myself. BUT for about a year you'll be bending and lifting different. You'll know and learn fast the best way to avoid any discomfort. Good luck and enjoy your beautiful children!!! Mine are 20 and 18 now, and I would elect to have the c sections again, and I wish I was going thru it all again, they grow too fast - ENJOY!!!!! Merry Christmas!

I can't tell you much about recovery with a toddler. You of course, have to make the best decisions you can about your birth, but if there's no medical reason for the c-section (ie just your own paranoia) you might look further into a VBAC (assuming your first was a c/s?). I had a great VBAC this past June and was amazed at how quick my recovery from a vaginal birth was compared to a c-section. Lots of supportive women, and good info at www.ican.org.

As for recovery, I did not have a drain or any such thing. You won't be able to pick up anything heavier than your baby and will likely need some help for the first couple weeks. Can your mom or mother in law come to help? Good luck whatever your choice, and congrats on the new baby!

I have to agree - do not read Gina's response. I understand that things can happen, but I think her case is not the norm at all. There is no reason for you to read something like that and then worry about that.

I had two c-sections. With my son after 23 hours of labor we had no choice but to go in for an emergency c-section. When I was having my daughter we had a planned c-section.

When my daughter was born my son was almost 26 months. You are going to need help after you get home. Especially with your toddler. You aren't going to be able to pick the toddler up for probably 6 weeks and you are going to need to take it easy, so no rough play with the toddler either! =) If you have stairs in your house you are going to need to limit the amount of time you are going up and down. We had a small fridge and a microwave upstairs so I had some snacks and beverages in there for when I was upstairs so I didn't have to go up and down a lot. The belly band is a great idea. I only used one in the hospital. I didn't feel I needed it when I got home, but I know some people still like to wear one. My hospital actually gave me one (Edward). I had a lot of help with family members the first couple weeks home. They would pretty much do everything around the house and keep tabs on the toddler while I just took care of the baby. One thing that I cannot stress enough is to get moving in the hospital AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. The sooner you get up and walk (even if it's just a walk to the bathroom) DO IT! (Of course do this with a nurse the first time!!!!) You don't want to stiffen up and by moving sooner, you will recover sooner. I was able to sit right up from laying down the day after the section. You will not be allowed to drive until you are off all pain medication. I didn't drive for 6 weeks. You also should not carry the baby in the carrier for the first 6 weeks. Just don't push yourself too hard and you will be fine.

I had a more difficult time with my first c-section then my second, but it still was not that bad. I was up and around sooner then my sister when she had a vaginal delivery. I had an infection with my first c-section, but antibiotics cleared it up right away and I was just fine.

hi I have had 2 c-sections not by choice but had to go that route. It is a relatively quick procedure but the recovery is very different. You do have tissue they cut through so you have limited use of your abdomen for a bit . I can tell you the best advice I was given was get up and move around right away when doc says ok it helps with the. Recovery
Process. Also use a pillow and hug of to help support your movement. I did have a toddler with my second and I would suggest to have help on hand the first week as you can't lift. Overall everything was fine and you just focus on the end result. It really was a good procedure. Please email if you have any questions and best
Of luck

I had a c-section with both of my kids. The 2nd one was when my son was 2 yrs old. It was hard at first but as with everything it gets easier. My advice is to get as much rest as you can. The hospital also gave me a girdle to wear and it helped alot. The nurses had me up and moving right after the surger which I think helped alot. I would also sit down on the couch or a chair and have my son sit with me so I was not picking him up so much but still enjoying his company. Hope this helps.

The actual surgery itself is as scary as any surgery you go thru when your awake....it's just un-nerving. As long as you trust your doctor, everything will be fine. I would make sure with your insurance company how long they will let you stay in the hospital and if your doctor knows you have a toddler waiting at home make sure he understands that you want to stay there as long as you can. It's not the best place to rest or sleep (funny cause it's a hospital) but every little bit helps. An extra day goes a long way.
When you get home, you will not be able to go up and down stairs for 6 weeks. This is mandotory whenever any female issues are operated on. What did help me was my mom would stay with me during the day until my husband got home. (We lived on the second floor so I couldn't go outside or do laundry). I would see if someone could do that for you or at the very least take your toddler off your hands while your husband's working. The first week home is hard. But you do start to feel better fast. The key is don't push your self. Try to get things ready now like frozen meals, snacks for your self and your toddler. I think back and if I would've been prepared with meals for a week, things would've been less stessful.
Doctor's do c-sections all the time....I'm sure you'll be fine and more at ease knowing that whatever complications happened with your first won't happen now. Get things prepared, don't thing about the surgery. Think about the things you can do at home to make your life easier later. Congratulations on your new baby!

Well, I see you've had 50 responses so far, so I'm sure you've gotten a lot of good advice. I went through two C-secs and the second was a piece of cake (just in case you find yourself in the same situation in the future). I was up and around moving well as soon as I was released from the hospital.

Congratulations on your new baby.

I just had my fourth c-section on 12/12. I guess I can tell you in detail how it goes. The surgery itself is not painful or uncomfortable. If you have a spinal/epidural that will most likely be the most uncomfortable part. After that you will be completely numb from the chest down and will only feel pressure and tugging. It's a strange sensation but not too unpleasant. It really only takes a few minutes before they take the baby out and the rest of the time (about 30-45 minutes) is spent "sewing" you up. I'll be honest and tell you that once the epidural wears off, the first several hours are extrememly painful without significant drugs. They will most likely keep you on a pitocin drip to contract your uterus and this makes the initial recovery even more painful. After that initial period it is not as intense but after a first time c-section you'll need to manage the pain for about a week. It hurts to sneeze, cough, and even laugh, and getting up and sitting down can be quite a process. You won't be able to pick up your toddler for at least two weeks. You may feel like it emotionally, but physically you will have no desire to lift anything heavier than your newborn. The first couple weeks are rough but no matter hwat way you deliver, it's rough on your body. If you feel this is the right decision, go with it. Millions of women have babies this way and we're fine. Please feel free to contact me if you have any other questions (or just feel like freaking out on someone!). If you decide to go through with it you'll be just fine.

A c-section is indeed a very delicate surgery and you will be sore afterwards. Thegood news is the more you move around the faster the healing process begins. You should restrict yourself from heavy lifting no more than twenty five pounds for a few months. As soon as you can band (wrap your tunny the faster your stomach will reduce. Remember stomach muscles are being cut so expect the healing process to be a little bit uncomfortable but not so painful after the first the couple of weeks. Your two year old can climb on your lap but try not to lift for at least two months. I know this will be challenging but try to adjust, for your health and your children's sake. As it heal you will itch and this is a bit agravating.

It doesn't sound like you had a c-section the first time around and if you didn't it would be good to plan on family/friend support during the first 3 weeks. It certainly is major surgery but nothing to fear. Having had 3 c-sections myself, I know that the 2nd and 3rd are easier than the first. However, the 2 things to keep in mind for after the surgery are your inability to lift anything more than the weight of your newborn; no going up/down stairs as much as possible and inability to drive for 1-2 weeks. You'll want to be sure to take care of yourself and focus on the little one, while planning for others to help you with your toddler. Of course, you will want to be close to your 2 1/2 year old and you should... but planning for added support is a good idea. You'll be great and be confident in your decision. Congratulations1

Hi there. I had a very successful C-section in April. My doctor was wonderful. It was a 30 minute experience. The worst for me was lying on my back for 10 hours due to the spinal block. My bed is really high and the baby slept in a bassinet which required a lot of bending. My suggestion would be is to get the "secure sleeper" which will allow the baby to sleep safely along side of you at least until your incision heals. Overall, I did not have a bad experience and would do it again if the need arose.

Best wishes!!

Hi, I had my first child vaginally and for me it was a much harder recovery than my csection with my second child. You will need help, but I was afraid of a csection too and for me it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I agree with the other poster, you need to stay ahead of your pain with the pain medication. But one year ago I was asking the same question you are and my experience with the c section was a much calmer, more enjoyable birth experience and recovery. And in my case I had more people willing to help out because I had a toddler and I had just had a csection so I took advantage of that ;)Good luck! - S.

I had 2 c-sections 13 months apart. Neither was all that bad... in fact, the 2nd was even easier than the first. After the IV came out, the only pain medication I needed either time was Motrin.

After my 2nd c-section I had a 13 month old as well as the infant to take care of. My husband had to take some time off work to help me the first week and a half after I got home from the hospital, but I still had to do a lot more with my son than I intended. I was picking him up my first day home from the hospital -- not because I wanted to, but because my husband wasn't close enough to do it at the time.

Be prepared to sleep partially sitting up the first few days home. It makes it a lot easier when the baby wakes up, and laying flat hurt for a couple of days.

Just remember not to push yourself afterwards. Like I said, it's really not as bad as some people make it out to be.

Hi A. -
My boys are 2 years apart and I had an emergency c-sect with both plus one more 5 years later. What I remember is that the second one got me up and around faster. Listen to your doctor and don't do anything overboard during the first 5 or 6 weeks. No vacuuming because surprisingly this adds pressure on your incisions. My oldest had to adjust and I needed a bit of help changing diapers and lifting him for 2 or 3 weeks. I wasn't a hero and took whatever pain killers prescribed to me by my dr. I hated not feeling so "sharp" but the more I moved around due to their effects the quicker I healed. Good luck and just know the pain will subside in time.

Hi A.-
I am so happy you asked this questions, because in a few short months, I will be in the same boat as you! I have a big toddler-- probably 34 lbs, and I will have a newborn and myself to take care of. I am most worried about my healing and my toddler... he loves to climb on mer and loves to be held, and I think he will be VERY jealous when his baby brother arrives. I had a c-section last time, after a full day of labor and 2.5 hours of pushing, but I have to say, my surgery experience was wonderful and I didnt need any pain meds. I did have a tough time doing stairs, standing for prolonged periods of time and laughing, but nothing that was intolerable. Like the other mamas have written, I def. suggest you solicit some help. I think my mom will be here the first week after and then I am on my own. I am just worried about managing my own care, the care of my toddler and my newborn. Good luck to you!

Looks like you've gotten lots of responses already. My first was a C-Section (my second will be delivered by C-Section next week!) and as you know, EVERYONE is different. So, the only advise I can give you for recovery is to get out of the hospital bed and on your feet as soon as possible. My sister-in-law was one of my nurses on the floor and she said that the people who have the best recoveries are those who don't sit in bed too long. So, if you have it in the morning, try to at least walk around the room that night. It will hurt, but it would be worse later. good luck! You can do it!

You just need to remember that you should pick up the toddler. that is the most difficult thing. you are only supposed to lift something as heavy as the baby! plus, you are only supposed to go up and down the stairs once each day. otherwise, you will be fine. you will also discover how much you use your abdominal muscles!

I've had two C-sections....the first was kinda miserable, but I think that was more because I went through 36 hours of labor, and the epidural didn't work, yada yada yada, and finally ended in a c-section. The second was absolutely fine! I could walk hours after, and felt good. Difference also was that with the first one, I felt like since I was a first time mom, I wanted to be perfect for the the baby, so I took no pain killers. The second, I wasn't so crazy! I took all the vicoden they'd offered that way I was never chasing the pain, which is horrid! My suggestion, rest whenever you can, take painkillers as prescribed, and but the baby in the nursery at night so you can get as much sleep as possible before coming home. Good Luck!

A.
I have had 3 C'S and two V Bacs. The first two C's were emergency I do not recommend that type. However my 5th was delivered by elective C 2 weeks before due date. It was easy peasy comparatively.
During a C section the mood in the operating light and music is piped in, you might feel chilly too.
what to expect is more stiffness in the abdominal area. Remember to move in bed ie reach up with arms, rotate legs every couple of hours you will feel better in the long run. When you get home for the first you will need help. Take it any way you can get have meals brought to you or made for you and cleaned up after too. Remind your older child to take special care of you. Ask for help your job is to recover then care for others. You you feel yourself in about three weeks. Good Luck!!!!!!
J. O
J.

I had a viginal delivery with my first. He was 20 months old when my second was born by c-section this past August (he was breech the whole pregnancy). They both have their pros and cons. I really don't have a preferrence one over the other. As far as taking care of a toddler after a c-section, my husband stayed home from work for 2 weeks to help with our oldest. Once he went back, my In-Laws started taking our son for a few days just to get him out. You do need the help the first couple of weeks for sure. After that I was slowly able to manage to care for both.

Don't worry about it, you'll do great!

I've had a c-section and two VBACs-one with an epidural, one without any pain medication- if there is any choice in the matter whatsoever, I would definitely recommend a vaginal birth. I had my parents around after my c-section for around-the-clock care- and that was just for me and the newborn, no toddler- and I needed it. My dad once left for 45 minutes to run to the store, the baby started crying, but I was unable to bend over to pick him up from the cradle. It was sad, and we were both helpless. Unless you have someone lined up to help you care for yourself, and your two little ones, it will be extraordinarily difficult.
But on the otherhand, if a vaginal birth will compromise the health of your unborn child, is there a choice?
What did your OB/GYN say about the pros and cons?

It looks like you got a lot of responses already! I just wanted to say as well that it's much, much easier of a recovery the second time when it's scheduled. Although I was really careful not to lift our 2 1/2 year old (my mom, sister or husband were there round the clock), I did feel as if I could. I guess that's the hard part, you feel much better but you're still healing.

Anyway as for your crib question, what if you put a step stool in the crib when you go in to get her so that she could step up and over the rail (put it down, of course) and then kind of hold her hands as she jumps down? That way you're spotting her, but not picking her up. It's not that far to go, so I'm sure she'd be ok.

Good luck and congrats!

Hi--

I had an emergency c-section with my first and will have another one with my second when my son is about 17 months old.

Honestly, my personal recovery was easier than any vaginal birth story I had heard of. When you hear tough recovery stories, it's typically when the c-section has followed a long and unproductive labor so the mom has been hit on two fronts. Since yours is planned, I think you will be happily surprised at how it goes. They've made a lot of advances in the surgery - for example, they don't cut the ab muscle.

A couple of random thoughts:
--Unlike the other poster, I was fine with the stairs. I did try to limit how much I went up and down by setting up a pack and play and changing station on our main floor, but we live in a townhouse so it was unavoidable.
--Regardless of how you give birth, you'll need a lot of help with your toddler and won't be able to drive the first few weeks. I drove home from my two-week appointment with no issues.
--Stay "ahead" of the pain. Especially the first week, don't wait for pain to take your pain meds.
--Alternate Tylenol and Advil with your vicodin. Talk to your nurse about how to do that. That will get you off the vicodin more quickly. If you have any issues with the pain meds, get on top of those very early.
--Your abs will still feel "frozen" for about a month. It's not that this is bad, but not being able to suck in your stomach at will is just odd.
--I definitely recommend one of the corset-y support things. They help your uterus go back down and will provide great support for your lower back.
--A few things that were surprisingly difficult - laughing, coughing, and getting up from a lying position. Don't see a comedy show, and to get up, be sure to turn on your side and push yourself up with your arm. For example, say you roll over onto your right side, put your left arm in front of your body to push yourself up to your left.
--Take care of yourself in other ways with proper nutrition and lots of water.

Good luck!

I have had both type of deliveries, and the c-section was so much harder for me. (I didn't feel comfortable taking the pain meds they gave me since I was nursing, so that didn't help.)

You will need lots of help. My wonderful husband got up each time during the nights for the first couple weeks. He would change and deliver the baby to me to nurse. Moving around was very painfull, so once I was planted on the couch or in bed, someone was doing the work for me. My husband took time off of work, and then I had other family help occassionally.

Even if you have friends or family take your toddler on outings, that would help. You won't be able to do much the first week or two. Slow stairs, slow getting to a standing position, no lifting (even a car seat). When I went back to work after 2 months, it was still uncomfortable to walk at a full pace.

Talk to your little one now about your recovery, so they won't be afraid when you come home in pain. You should separate the "operation" from the baby, so they don't think the baby hurt you.

It's tough but the time goes fast. You'll be better in no time. Good luck.

Dear A. T,

I my self have had a c-section and I am going to be honest with you. It does hurt. I was very scared. It was my 1st baby so I didnt know what labor was like and I sure didnt know what a c-section was and how they would do it. The doctors will give you an eperdural then they lay you on a table with your arms straight out to your sides. They then will give you some more numming meds to make sure that you dont feel from your waist down. They will poke you with a very little needle on your legs to make sure that there is no feeling. Then they will put up a big blue curtain that goes over your chest. Next the doctors will cut a line from one side of your hip to the other side just above your pubic area. I think it will be about I want to say 3 inches or less across. When they are cutting you, you will only feel a little pressure. Then they push the baby up into your ribs so they can move your insides out of the way.(now I remind you that you have a big curtain in front of you so you have no idea whats going on and that is a good thing) I am telling you I felt it and it does hurt a bit its alot of pressure. Then they have someone get up on the table and push down on your chest to push the baby down and out. When they are doing that it feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest and you will feel like you are getting the worst heart burn in the world. That is normal. Then they pull the baby out and I am telling you when you hear that wonderful gift from God crying as loud as their little lungs can go, you totaly for get about what you just went through. That is worth going through all the c-sections in the world. To end it they pull out the rest and they staple you which you dont feel but alittle bit of pressure. Then they take you to the recovery room while your baby is getting cleaned up and they give you a pop cicle (which was awsome seeming how i didnt have anything to eat for the 15 hrs i was in labor before they decided to do a c- section on me). Then they bring in your baby to see. The best part about having a c-section for the father is that after they clean up the baby he gets to carry the baby down to the nursery to get weighted and foot printed and all that other jazz. Also they will not let you have anything to eat untill you pass gas. I am not joking they do that so they can make sure that your intestens are ok. The recovery time does take a while. Just remember you just had major surgery so you will not be able to lift anything heavey for a while and you will not be able to drive for two weeks. So my suggestion is to have someone come over for acouple of weeks to help you w your 2 1/2 yr old and new born bc it will be hard to move around for a bit. Your doctor will prob suggest that you will be out for 8 weeks instead of 6 weeks. I hope that I helped you out a little and that didnt scare you. I am sure that you will be fine and the doctors will exsplain everything to you. Well good luck A. T ,and congrats on your little one.

sincerly
Angie E

Ps sorry about the spelling and grammer. It's not one of my strong suits.

Hi A., Ive have a total of 5 c-sections. All went wonderful, and the recovery time is usually less than natural births. The last one I had my youngest was 2yrs and Ive never had any of them so close in age so I was worried, but everything went fine, in fact great! My last one was my easiest! This type of surgery is so common now! So dont worry, When I compared my experience to my girlfriends who had natural birth, they really had a harder as well as longer recovery, by the way my last daughter Keira was born in 2005 when I was 39! If you have any other questions, Id be happy to help you, just send me a shout!! God Bless you and have a Merry Christmas!! L.

I had a planned section with my first one. Now I am also having a second one in April and that is planned as well. I am going to have my hubby home with me for almost 2 weeks so I am very lucky this time around and he will be taking care of our soon to be 2 year old mostly. The worst thing about the c-section was them sticking the numbing meds in my back. After that everything seemed like a breeze. I had the baby at about 5:20 at night and I was up the next morning. I had the baby on Tuesday night and was out Friday day morning. I couldn't wait to get out of there. They tell you to rest as much as you can, HA! The baby was with me 95% of the time, they had no nursery just a NICU. IF I wanted time I would have to ask one of the nurses to take her for a while so I could rest and then the baby was put at the nurses station and they would keep an eye on her. I was nervous about that. But everytime that happened a nurse was coming in to check on me or the breast feeding people would be coming in to check on me, a doctor, or a ped. It was rediciulous. Last time I ended up doing mostly everything after the first few days that I was home. I only went up the stairs at night to go to bed. I had a changing station and a pack and play all set up on the first floor. Which I had set up for I think the first 3-4 months. It really came in handy as well as a swing. Good luck, I am sure everything will be just fine and you will figure out what is best for you! Diffently ask for help! My GF's didn't want help either and ended up regreting it.

Hi,
I think you are more worried than you need to be. I have had two c-sections within 13months. Meaning I had a 13month at home when I had my second csection. I have never had a natural birth so I don't really know about how you feel after those but a csection is a breeze. Just remember to take your pain meds on time... if you do that you will feel great! With my second my daughter had to go to a different hospital because she was early and needed to be in the NICU. So I was able to leave the hospital less then 24 hours after my csection... (would not recommend... but I NEEDED to be with my baby). Just enjoy the days in the hospital and the two weeks when you get home with help. You will find that you will be able to do more than you think just don't over do it. I wouldn't pick up your daughter for a week... but after that you should feel fine. I would say get a lot of rest too but you will have a new born and sometimes that is impossible.
I have heard doctors do different things with surgery meaning how the close it... I have always had glue and steri-stripes with is GREAT! My friends have had staples and stitches so that would probably be something that you would want to ask your doctor about.

You will do fine just take it easy and listen to your body... if not it usually lets you know.

Hi A., I didnt read all your replies you had alot. I also had a c-section when my toddler was 2 1/2. My husband was home with me for the first couple of days. But the best thing about having a 2 year old is they are pretty much old enough to entertain themselves and you dont need to care for him/her as much or carry them around. What I did was sit on the couch and read with my son and we played games, watch some tv or played some learning video games on the tv. I tried to make a plan for everyday for the first 2 weeks that I would be home of what I would do with him. He also liked to be "mommy's little helper" with the new baby. Like throw diapers away or put bottles in the sink etc. I just tried to include him in everything that I could and we had a ball. You will be just fine. Just done lift him up at all. If he wants some of mommy's love and hugs sit down first and then put him on your lap and when the baby is sleeping make sure you give him all the attention in the world. All the cleaning and laundry can wait, believe me. Good Luck and Congrat and Happy Holidays.

Well, I've had 3 c-sections. My first one was because of complications. So my experience was horrible. I was very sick. My next one was for convenience, my doctor was going on vaction. My second c-second was elective, my doctor was going on vacation so I didn't want any body else. My first child was 2 1/2 at the time. I had a lot of help. The c-section experience was fine. My third c-section was because my new OB/GYNE suggested I had it because of adhesions from the previous c-section. My only suggestion to you is make sure they do not staple, ask if they can suture a hairline incision. Do not bend over or try to lift anything heavier then the newborn, so this means do not lift up the 2 1/2 year old for about 6 weeks. Do not eat seafood until the scar heals, put mederma on the scar. I had a bad reaction to morphine ( I experience nausea and was itchy all over) So if you have a bad reaction to the pain medication, do not hesitate to ask to switch to something else. I am a healthcare provider so don't let them tell you that these options are not available.

I had Csections with both my kids. This first one was no big deal, I went home at 2 days and felt fine, was walking around just fine. The second one was scheduled and even easier cause I hadn't been in labor ahead of time. BUT I had a daughter who was just barely 3 yrs old. We were homeless that summer (house being built, other house had sold) and so the WHOLE summer she had slept in the same room as me, spent every minute with me, etc. So, when I went to the hospital she missed me terribly. I should have stayed 3 days, but only stayed 2. The nurse that took out my staples tore me and that hurt and got infected. If it hadn't been for that I would have been fine.

Both times my dr. approved ALL activities by 2 wks old (even bedroom husband wife stuff) and I was fully able to do anything I wanted to do.

The first few days are tough but nothing terrible.

First off...do not read Gina's answer...why she would give such a horror story...anyways

I elected to have a c-section for my last child due to medical issues with her, and we also have 2 other children. At the time, when my daughter was born we had a 3.5 year old boy and an almost 2 year old little girl.
My best advice for you is to make sure you get up and walk as soon as you can...yes it is painful, but I recovered so much faster! I had to get up and walk because my daughter was in the ISCU so if I wanted to see her, I had to deal with the pain. And maybe I just got lucky because the nurses and doctors could not believe how well I did after the c-section. So walk, walk, walk in moderation of course. Take your pain meds and you will be fine! When I got home, I did notice that stairs made me a little more sore, which they tell you not to do...Impossible if you have kids! Hopefully you will have family there to help out, because that is so helpful!
Don't feel scared or nervous...you will be amazed at how easy it is! Trust your doctors and your choice!! Good luck and make sure to walk and have help!

Definitely plan on having support for 2-3 weeks after delivery (at least). This is major surgery affecting your abdominal musculature that you use when doing almost everything. You will be really tired and in pain for the first several days. If all goes well, tho, and you give yourself time to heal in the first week, then you will recover more every day. When I had my first c-section it followed a day of hard labor, so I had the double whammy and it took a long time to recover b/c of this and the fact I didn't have any help, didn't know what I was doing and the baby had colic and wouldn't nurse. It was a nightmare. the second and third elective c's went much much better and the recovery time was much faster which is normal when you redo a surgical procedure (muscle memory or something). So go really slow the first week (no lifting the toddler, few stairs, no cooking for the family, naps everyday etc). Then slowly add things back in.
Good luck!!

Our bodies are amazing. I had a c section after my first child, and somehow you will make it through. Let your neighbors, relatives and whomever know that you might need help. It will hurt of course, but you get through it. Sometimes after we make all the preparations we don't need all the help anyway. If the c-section takes place, the worst part I remember is that they made me get up right away. Oh uk, but you do it. My first son was a little older than your two and a half year old, but for the first couple of weeks, hopefully there will be someone to help a little bit and if not just ignore the housework, the dishes, etc. It will always be there anyway. So, just hug and hold both babies and somehow time will pass and you are going to be okay. Really. Congratulations~!
S.

Oh, please don't be scared. I feel so bad for you. Check out ICANchicagoland. I think it might be ICANchicagoland.org or you can google it to the group. On there you will find mothers who have had c-sections and who are planning a VBAC also there are professionals who can give their advice. I am a certified birth instructor and am working with women who are planning a VBAC. If you do not mind me asking, what were the complications before in your last birth? Is there a strong risk to this baby? How far along are you? I would be glad to help in anyway I can as this is supposed to be a great time for you and your baby as well as your family. I know it is hard having recovery from surgery on top of caring for multiple children. Please feel free to contact me at anytime.